Crazy Stupid Love (Crazy Love #1)

by Melissa Toppen

  I just need to feel her.

  It’s the only thought I have.

  I need her.

  Dropping my mouth back to hers, I lift her from the ground, rocking back to secure her legs around my hips before thrusting inside of her so violently a small cry of surprise floods from her lips. Pinning her roughly against the locker once more, I drop my face into the crook of her neck as I begin pounding inside of her.

  I know I’m being rough, probably too rough really, but she only spurs me on further, urging me to go deeper, fuck her harder. It sends me spiraling out of control. It’s been too long, and I find my release sneaking in within a few short moments.

  I don’t want it to be over. I want to bury myself as deeply as I can inside of her and never come out, but I can’t stop my need for release from taking me under. It builds so deeply inside of me that when I feel her clench tightly around me, I explode, not able to hold it in any longer.

  I continue to move, the feeling of her quaking around my hard cock so incredible I think I could almost go again right here on the spot. Slowing my thrusts, I make sure I have drained every bit of her orgasm from her before finally sliding out and gently lowering her to her feet.

  Having trouble catching my breath, I drop my forehead against hers; regret immediately starting to creep its way in.

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper.

  “Don’t be.” She pulls back slightly and hits me with gentle eyes.

  “What are you doing here?” I fumble out, my mind still not fully processing that she’s really here.

  How is it that just when I feel myself reaching that breaking point, the one I have teetered on for years, she shows up, allowing me to find solace in her body.

  “I needed to see you.” Her soft voice is enough to gut me with guilt.

  “You shouldn’t have come,” I say, stepping back as I adjust my gym shorts.

  “Why?” She seems hurt by the statement, reaching down to retrieve her jeans from the floor before sliding them on.

  “I can’t give you what you want, Kimber,” I say, stepping back to let her pass me.

  She sinks down onto the bench and looks up to meet my stare, her crisp blue eyes burning into mine. Those damn blue eyes that seem to see through me so clearly.

  “How could you possibly know what I want?” She cocks her head to the side.

  “I guess I don’t,” I admit, not sure how else to respond.

  “Then don’t assume. I barely know you. It’s not like I’m going to turn around and start picking out my wedding dress.” Her tone is even and free of emotion.

  “Fair enough.” I can’t fight the smile pulling at the corners of my mouth.

  This girl is a fucking enigma.

  I just can’t quite seem to figure her out. At first, she seems quiet and timid like she’s afraid to let herself be seen. But the more time I spend with her, the more I’m realizing that there is so much more to her than that. Little by little I see the real Kimber, the tough untamed girl she keeps tucked away, shining through.

  “Then I’ll ask, what is it that you want?” My smile only widens when she crunches her forehead like she’s really thinking about it.

  “Well for starters, what does a girl have to do to get some food around here?” She hits me with a playful smile, completely eliminating the mounting tension with one statement.

  I can’t control the laugh that escapes my lips at her comment. One minute I think I know exactly where this is going, the next she throws me for a complete loop. It’s refreshing to not know what to expect.

  “I might know a place or two.” I grab my bag from the bench, throwing it over my shoulder. “But first, I need a shower.” I extend my hand to her which she willingly takes, allowing me to pull her to her feet.

  ****

  “Good?” I laugh, watching Kimber eat the pancakes in front of her like she can’t seem to get them into her stomach fast enough.

  I guess she worked up quite an appetite after our shower, her still damp hair evidence of how she let me take her against the tiled walls. Just the thought of her cries of pleasure and the sound of water and skin hitting skin makes my groin tighten.

  “Oh my God, so good.” She laughs after swallowing down a large bite. “I feel like I haven’t eaten in days.”

  “I told you this place has the best pancakes.” I relax back into the booth seat as I take a long drink of my water, trying to redirect my line of thought.

  “You weren’t kidding.” She lets out a deep exhale and pushes her plate away. “But I can’t possibly eat another bite.” She drops her napkin to the side after wiping it gently across her mouth, the action making me want to lean forward and taste the sweet reminisce of syrup left behind on her lips.

  Tearing my eyes away from her mouth, I look up just in time to see the waitress returning with our check. Without even giving her the opportunity to set it into the table, I hand her a couple twenties and advise her to keep the change. The middle-aged brunette gives me a warm smile and then backs away with a nod, allowing me to turn my attention back to Kimber.

  “You didn’t need to pay for me,” she interjects, her eyes darting towards the waitress who is already several feet away before turning back to face me.

  “Isn’t that what a gentleman does?” I smirk when she narrows her eyes on me.

  “There are a lot of words I could use to describe you, Decklan, but gentleman isn’t one of them.” She laughs when I fake offense.

  “Ouch.” I hold my hand to my chest, just over my heart.

  “Shut up.” She shakes her head, the cutest fucking giggle making its way out of her throat as she pulls her phone from her pocket and checks the time. “I probably should be getting back. Harlee is probably wondering where I am.” She slides from the booth, waiting for me to follow her action before pushing to her feet.

  “I’ll drive you home,” I offer, the thought of her having to take a cab this late at night all the way home not something that sits well with me.

  “And freeze to death on the back of your motorcycle? No, thank you.” She shakes her head as she pushes her way outside, snuggling deeper into her sweatshirt the moment the cool night air settles down over us.

  “Then stay with me.” The request leaves my lips before I can stop it and catches us both off guard.

  Even though I desperately want to take back the invitation, I also can’t deny how the thought of her bare again, withering in pleasure beneath me, sounds too fucking good to pass up; even if it is completely against my better judgment.

  “It’s really not necessary. I don’t mind taking a cab.” She gives me a sweet smile.

  I want to insist, force her to come back with me, but even I know having her stay the night is probably the last thing I should do. I already fear my actions are sending the wrong message but fuck me, I just can’t help myself. This girl fucks with my head.

  “Not gonna happen.” I shake my head. “Come on, I can use Gavin’s truck to take you home.”

  “Are you sure, Decklan? You really don’t have to.” She hesitates, clearly fearful that she’s putting me out.

  Truth be told, I’m just not ready to let go of her yet.

  “I know. I want to.” I hold my hand out to her, tangling my fingers around her small palm as I lead her the two blocks back towards the bar.

  “Can I ask you a question?” I can feel her eyes on the side of my face as we stop just shy of the front entrance of Deviants.

  “Depends on the question.” I spin to face her.

  “Why didn’t you try to get in contact with me after last weekend?” She has trouble meeting my gaze as she mutters the question. “I mean, did I do something?” Her eyes finally find mine.

  “It has nothing to do with you.” I can’t resist the urge to reach out and brush a strand of hair away from her face. “I guess I can’t really give you an explanation.” I shrug, not really sure what to say to her. “Other than I’m an asshole.”

  “I don’t buy that.�
� She holds my gaze, her expression challenging. “I think there’s a lot more to you than you let people see.” She turns, pulling open the front door of the bar and stepping inside before I have time to even process her statement, let alone respond.

  I follow Kimber as she weaves through the crowd of people towards the bar, spotting Gavin lounging on a stool with a few other people just moments before Kimber stops in front of him.

  “Guess you found him.” Gavin gives Kimber a wide smile before turning hesitant eyes in my direction.

  I give him a tight nod, not sure if I want to thank him or punch him for telling Kimber where she could find me. On one hand, tonight has been exactly what I needed. On the other, I fear that it has only made this situation more complicated, and I don’t do complicated.

  “Give me your keys.” I hold out my hand, not bothering to actually ask.

  “What the fuck for?” he slurs, clearly having spent a good portion of his night on the receiving end of the bar.

  “I’m gonna drive Kimber home.” I keep my hand extended.

  I make no attempt to move until he finally rolls his eyes, reaches into his pocket, and drops the keys into my palm.

  “Crash upstairs tonight. I don’t want your ass sleeping on the floor again.” I give him a stern look before turning back to Kimber who seems to be watching our interaction curiously.

  “Come on.” I grab her hand, immediately leading her through the bar and out of the back exit.

  The moment we step outside I pull a cigarette out of my jacket and press it between my lips. I catch Kimber’s gaze just as I light it, turning my face towards her as I take a deep drag.

  I half expect her expression to be one of judgment but am surprised to see it’s more so a look of curiosity.

  “What?” I ask, turning my face to let the smoke billow from my lungs.

  “Nothing.” She shakes her head, dropping my hand when I stop directly next to Gavin’s black pickup truck. “Just trying to figure something out.”

  “What’s that?” I ask, taking another deep inhale.

  “You,” she answers simply.

  “Well, good luck with that.” I let out a gruff laugh as I blow upwards, trying not to get smoke in her face. I may be an asshole, but I’m not that inconsiderate. “Come on.” I peel open the driver’s side door and gesture for her to climb across.

  I take two more deep drags off my cigarette before stomping it out with the heel of my boot. Climbing into the cab of the truck, I turn my face towards Kimber whose eyes are still firmly focused on me.

  “Keep looking at me like that and we won’t make it out of this parking lot,” I warn, her mouth dropping open slightly at my statement as she takes a sharp inhale.

  “Maybe that’s the point.” She teases, snapping her seatbelt, her gaze remaining focused directly on me.

  Chapter Eleven

  Kimber

  The ride back to campus is a silent one. There is this mounting need to say something, yet neither of us seems to be in any rush to break the silence or say what needs to be said. The further we drive, the more I feel Decklan withdraw.

  It’s clear he has walls put up. He’s so hesitant to just be, which tells me he’s not used to giving up any amount of the control or restraints he places on himself. I wish I could figure it out but he’s extremely hard to read.

  I can’t help the disappointment that settles over me when he finally pulls into a spot outside of my dorm building, throwing the truck into park.

  “Thank you for the ride.” I unsnap my seatbelt before turning my gaze on Decklan.

  He’s gripping the steering wheel tightly, his eyes focused directly in front of him. Not really sure what to do, I sit for several long seconds before finally deciding I should just go. Reaching for the door handle I push it open, the cool night air flooding into the cab of the truck as I slide out.

  “Night, Decklan,” I say as casually as possible, giving him a small smile when he finally turns his dark eyes in my direction.

  “Goodnight, Kimber.” He gives me a stiff nod before turning his attention forward again.

  Frustrated by how quickly things seem to shift between us, I slam the door the shut with a little more force than I intend before setting off in the direction of my building. I can feel the tears welling behind my eyes before I even reach the sidewalk just a few short feet away.

  I know it’s foolish. I know crying over a man like Decklan is useless and will get me nowhere, but I can’t lose the disappointment I feel. Shaking my head, I manage to push the tears away before a single one has the chance to fall. If there’s one thing I have mastered, it’s keeping my real feelings hidden. Taking a deep inhale, I climb the small stone stairwell that leads to the front door of my dorm building.

  Pulling my key from my pocket, I no more than slide it into the lock when Decklan’s voice washes over me from behind, halting my movements.

  “Kimber, wait.”

  Pulling the key back, I turn to see him jogging towards me, stopping just feet from the bottom step.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t know how to do this.” His words come out labored through his rapid breathing.

  “You don’t have to do anything, Decklan. I get it,” I say, shrugging. “I know what this is.”

  “But you don’t. You don’t at all,” he says, taking the stairs two at a time before coming to stand directly in front of me.

  His hands close around my cheeks as he forces my face upwards.

  “I’m not good for you, Kimber. You should turn around and walk away from me right now.” He sighs. “But for the fucking life of me, I can’t let you do it.”

  “Then I won’t.” I don’t need to consider my response.

  I know what I want.

  I want him...

  “There’s no future with me.” His words carry a heavy punch yet somehow don’t seem to deter me in the least.

  “Then I’ll take the present.” I hold his gaze, the deep gray ocean of his eyes drawing me into their depths until I feel like I can’t breathe.

  He hits me with an almost pained expression before his mouth closes down on mine, his kiss drowning out everything into the background. It’s terrifying how much I want this man. Terrifying, yet something I know I could never fight against.

  He may not be able to promise me anything but one fact remains true...

  This man will change my life.

  This man is already changing my life.

  ****

  “Do you need anything before I head out, Jane?” I walk behind the bar, sliding my credit cards receipt into my daily folder for management.

  “No hon, I think we’re good. Has Donna got her station covered?” she asks, sliding a drink across the bar to one of the customers before turning back to me, tucking her highlighted brown bob behind her ears.

  “She does,” I confirm, grabbing my jacket and bag from under the bar before sliding them on.

  “Then I’ll see you Thursday.” She nods, giving me a small wave as I step out from behind the bar.

  I no more than step outside before my cell phone buzzes to life in my hand, Garrett’s name flashing across the screen for the third time today. Letting out a deep exhale, I know I’m going to have to answer it or he will just keep calling.

  “What, Garrett?” I snap the moment I press the phone to my ear.

  “Everything okay?” His voice bleeds with kindness which is so clearly forced.

  “Everything is fine. What do you need?” I sigh, doing very little in the way of hiding my annoyance.

  “I miss you. I just wanted to hear your voice.”

  “Garrett, we’ve already talked about this. You can’t keep calling me. We aren’t together anymore.”

  “That doesn’t mean I don’t care about you,” he interjects.

  “No, but it does mean that you don’t have any right to continue to harass me.” I stop next to a grassy area just a few yards from the restaurant, dropping my book bag onto the ground next to me.
r />   “Is that how you see it?” His tone turns clipped.

  “How do you see it? You call me constantly, text me at least once a day, usually multiple times, and for God’s sake, Garrett, you flew across the country to see me without so much as a phone call to let me know beforehand.”

  “We’re worried about you.” He seethes, his voice going up at least three notches.

  “We?” I spit, my frustration mounting.

  “As in myself, Dan, and Pat.”

  “I should have known. Of course, this has to involve my parents’.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean? We all care about you, Kimber.”

  “Yeah, I can tell. You care about me so much that not one of you can support the decisions I’ve made or respect what I ask of you. Sounds to me like you care about the fact that I am no longer able to be controlled.”

  “No one is trying to control you, Kim.”

  “It’s Kimber,” I yell, jumping in surprise when I feel the phone pulled out of my hand, turning just in time to see Decklan press it to his ear.

  “Stop calling her, asshole, or you’re gonna have me to fucking deal with,” he threatens, immediately hitting the end button before extending the phone back towards me.

  “There. That should get him off your back for a while.” He smiles.

  “What...what are you doing here?” I gape at him, completely caught off guard by not only his appearance but also by what he just did.

  “I was in the area. Thought I’d say hi.” He snakes his arm around my waist and pulls me into him, dropping a kiss on my lips before pulling back. “Let me guess, the ex who has no idea how to pleasure a woman.” He hovers just inches from my face, a slow smirk pulling up the corner of his mouth.

  “Garrett, yes.” I sigh, sliding my phone into the back pocket of my jeans before raising my hands to rest on his chest. “My parents’ put him up to it, no doubt. They can’t stand the fact that for once in my life I am doing what I want and not what they expect me to do.”

  “Hey.” He tips my face upwards, nudging me under the chin. “Fuck them.” I can’t help but smile at his words.