by Joan Kilby
“Did he tell you about the barn catching on fire?” Hayley slathered a scone with jam and cream.
Molly nodded. “I don’t think that’s why you left.”
“I really don’t want to talk about it.” She took a big heavenly bite.
“Well, I do. I was thinking about your comment that you and Adam aren’t serious. I hope you didn’t feel you had to pretend not to care about him because of me. Watching you two dancing last night, I could tell there’s a whole lot more to your ‘friendship’ than giving each other a helping hand.”
Suddenly Molly’s delicious scone tasted like cardboard. “It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s over.”
Molly ignored that. “I want you to know that if you do care about him, love him, then you have my blessing.”
Hayley’s eyes pricked. Molly’s approval meant the world, though it was too late.
The older woman rested a papery dry hand on Hayley’s. “This is hard for me to say because I loved my son, but don’t let Leif put you off getting married again.”
“Wh-what do you mean?”
“I know he ran around with other women.” Molly’s eyes were dark with sorrow. “Maybe I should’ve said something, but I thought you must have known—and truth be told, I didn’t want to rock the boat. You were the best thing that ever happened to Leif. Oh, he was a charmer, but he wasn’t steady, not till you came along. Rolf tried to talk sense into him but he didn’t listen.”
“I can’t believe you knew,” Hayley cried. “All this time I was trying to keep it from you, to protect your feelings. I didn’t want to lose you from my life. I thought you’d be angry with me if I sullied his name.”
“I would never have been angry with you!” Molly seemed incensed at the very idea. “I was angry with Leif that he would treat you so shabbily. I never understood why you stayed with him, but I didn’t want to question it too deeply for fear you’d leave him.”
“I thought about it several times, but I always compromised.” She was sick of compromising—look where it had gotten her.
“Leif hurt you,” Molly said. “Please don’t let him ruin the rest of your life by making you afraid to take another chance on love.”
“But, Molly, I am afraid. Neither my parents’ marriage nor my marriage worked out. I don’t want to get hurt again.” Too agitated to sit still, Hayley paced to the sink to wash the jam from her fingers. “Adam’s proposal wasn’t much of an offer. I said I’d think about it.”
“But you really meant no.”
“That’s right.” She bowed her head, her wet hands resting on the edge of the sink. Adam had asked her to give up her safe cocoon of solitude for uncertainty.
Molly came up behind her and put her arms around her. “It’s normal to feel afraid,” she said gently. “What isn’t right is to know you’re hurting and broken inside and not try to make yourself better.”
Hayley should know that better than anyone. She’d even acknowledged it that day she’d realized Asha didn’t have a problem but she did. She’d been no different from Summer or any of her clients who buried their problems instead of facing them.
She had to ask herself now what she always asked them: If you don’t confront the pain and take risks, are you prepared for the consequences? Are you willing to live with dysfunction and unhappiness?
She could be happy on her own—she had no doubt about that. But she wanted more. She wanted love and to share her life with a man who made her laugh and feel like she wasn’t alone. She wanted children. Was she prepared never to have a chance at having a family? No.
Maybe it wouldn’t work out with her and Adam. Maybe she would take the chance and fall flat on her face in six months or six years. But maybe it would work out, maybe she would find that perfect union of body, mind and soul with someone she trusted with her whole heart. She had a hunch Adam could be that man, but she’d never know if she didn’t take a risk.
Daring was also a D word.
It all boiled down to one question: What was the point in being safe if she couldn’t be with Adam?
She turned into Molly’s arms and gave her a long hug. “Dearest Molly. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Molly blinked as she eased away. “I hope neither of us ever have to find out.”
As she saw Molly out, a quote she often told her clients came to mind: Everything you want in life is on the other side of Fear. She’d never thought it would apply to her. But it did. She was going to break through that fear and go after what she wanted. Adam.
* * *
ADAM FINISHED HIS coffee over the local paper. Summer had scoffed down three scones in almost as many minutes and gone back up to her room to finish a homework assignment.
Ah, this must be the ad Molly had referred him to. The Shire council was calling for tenders to design and construct a new community center. The center was to incorporate meeting rooms as well as recreation rooms and an indoor swimming pool. Ambitious, but no doubt the council was hoping to convince people to stay in the area.
He’d never designed anything like a community center. It appealed to him, though. He could picture kids like Summer and Zoe playing volleyball in the gym. Hayley’s knitting circle might even use the facilities. And his favorite winter exercise was swimming laps.
He wouldn’t be here next winter.
The thought sobered him.
But, hey, he’d be in Shanghai, the exotic and mysterious East. Suddenly the idea of living in a multistoried box surrounded by a bunch of other multistoried boxes was deeply depressing.
He wandered outside. There was still a faint odor of charred wet wood, but overall the air was fresh. The trees and mountains rose up around him, not brooding and claustrophobic, but friendly and sheltering. The view over the valley of the town strung along the river and the farms dotted with cows, horses and sheep was sensational.
There was only one view better than his. Hayley’s. No wonder she loved Hope Mountain.
He finally got it. Surrounded by the living forest and the mountains, he understood the appeal deep down in his bones. A man could breathe here. He could dream under that vaulting blue sky. He could balance life and work. He could have space for himself and time for a family. He could find love, happiness and contentment. He’d had moments of all three in the past month, tantalizing glimpses of what life could be like.
But to get that, he’d have to let go of his career dreams, his ambitions—partner of a big firm, CEO of an international architectural office. Suddenly those dreams seemed dry and dusty. He’d be chained to his desk practically 24/7 in a foreign land among strangers. Yes, he might make friends—if he found the time.
He already had friends here—Hayley and Molly and all those people in the town. When he’d first come to Hope Mountain he’d thought of it as a backwater, of little interest. Now he realized he’d barely scratched the surface of what it had to offer. Yes, it was a fire-prone area and people were at the mercy of the weather. He still didn’t like that aspect. But if he planned well, he could minimize the danger.
Because what was the point in being safe if he didn’t have Hayley? That was what all his logic and rationalization couldn’t dismiss. He loved her, in a forever kind of way. He wanted to marry her and have children with her. He wanted to bask in her loving kindness and wisdom—in her smile. He wanted to grow old with her.
What had Molly said? Hayley needed a grand gesture. He got that now, too. Oh, he could tell her how he felt, but talk was cheap. He needed to show her he was committed to her and Hope Mountain. He laughed out loud. Now that he understood the problem, the solution was easy.
He grabbed his car keys and headed out.
* * *
HAYLEY PARKED AT a skewed angle in front of Adam’s place and jumped out of her truck, ran onto the porch and stabbed the doorbell. Adam wasn�
�t Leif. And she wasn’t the same woman who’d married a ladies’ man thinking she could change him. Nor was she the same woman who kept quiet when she should have spoken up. She wasn’t the woman who put her man’s needs ahead of her own. She wasn’t a woman who let fear stand in the way of happiness.
She was a woman who knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to ask for it. She was a woman who had a lot to offer the right man. She was a woman who loved Adam Banks with all her heart—and she was going to tell him so.
Impatiently she jabbed the bell again.
Summer opened the door. Her face brightened. “Hey, Hayley.”
“Is your father here? I need to speak with him.”
“He went into town to get some documents. He’s all fired up about something.”
For a moment her resolve faltered. The documents must have to do with his new job in Shanghai. Maybe Lorraine had sent a contract special delivery to the post office. Or Mort had found a buyer for Timbertop. Her mind could conjure half a dozen scenarios.
No, no, no. Everything you want in life is on the other side of fear. She was a woman who broke through fear.
“Do you want to come in?” Summer said. “I’m doing homework but I can take a break.”
“Thanks, but it’s important I see your dad right away. I’ll see you soon, though.”
“Okay. See you later.”
Hayley drove through town slowly, checking both sides of the street and the side roads for Adam’s dark purple Mercedes. Finally she spotted his car, parked outside Mort’s realty office. Her heart sank.
She got out of her truck and went inside. Mort was at the front desk, doing something on the computer. “Hey, Mort, have you seen Adam? His car’s out front.”
“He was here a few minutes ago. He’s gone down the street, heading north, I think.”
“Thanks.” She hurried down the sidewalk, checking shop windows as she went. Even though it was Sunday, most businesses were open, taking advantage of the trickle of tourists and day-trippers who’d begun to find their way back to Hope Mountain and the surrounding hiking trails.
Still, many other shops were empty and locked, their owners having sold up and moved out—these she only gave half a glance. So when she hurried past the darkened travel agency it took her a moment to register the movement inside.
She checked her long stride and backtracked to cup her hands against the glass and peer in. Adam was pacing the interior of the empty shop. She opened the door and went in. Her heart sped up. This was it, the moment she found out what she was really made of.
She didn’t ask him what he was doing, although she wanted to know. She couldn’t risk getting sidetracked. “I’ve been looking for you.”
“Really? I was coming to talk to you once I finished here.” A slow smile spread across his face and he walked toward her.
She met him halfway and huffed out a breathless laugh. “Me first. Or I might chicken out.”
He tucked back a strand of her hair. “I’m all ears.”
Her heart was slamming against her rib cage and she couldn’t catch her breath. Shoulders down. Breathe out. She found the scrap of calm she needed to begin. “I love you, Adam Banks. I want to marry you, and I want you to live here in Hope Mountain with me.” With each sentence she sped up. “I don’t want some half-assed fly-in-fly-out relationship. I want a solid, everyday marriage where we sleep together in the same bed every night.”
“Hayley—”
She held up a hand. “I know. You have your big job overseas. I can handle you going on business trips but not for too long, or too often. You can work from here and let someone else run the show in Shanghai.”
“Can I say something?” He wore a bemused smile.
“Just a minute. In return for you doing that, I will love you and be true to you and do my best to be the kind of woman you want in your life. Someone to share your interests and dreams, whatever they are. But I have my own dreams. I hope you can respect that.”
“Are you finished?”
“I think so.” She scratched her head. “Well, what did you want to talk to me about?” Her gaze dropped to her hands. “Are you selling Timbertop?”
“What? No. At least not yet.” He held up a dangling set of keys. “This is what I wanted to show you. And this.” In his other hand he had a sheaf of papers.
“I don’t understand.”
He gestured to the narrow office with the pale blue carpeting and a travel poster of Rome clinging crookedly to the far wall. “This is going to be my new office. Adam Banks, Architect, Residential and Retail Design.” He shook the papers. “And this is my tender application for the new community center. If I’m successful, I’ll be off to a head start. If not, there’s plenty of other work to be done in Hope Mountain. I’m thinking of specializing in fireproof homes.”
Hayley struggled to take it in. “What about Shanghai?”
“I called Lorraine this morning and turned down her offer. I told her I would consult on a part-time basis, but that it was time for me to go out on my own.”
“Congratulations.” Hayley finally found her smile. “That’s wonderful.” She hesitated. “Does this mean you’re staying in Hope Mountain?”
He set the keys and papers on the floor, then took both her hands in his. “I’m going to try to do this right, but I’m a bit nervous so bear with me.”
Hayley was nervous, too. Would he say what she longed to hear? Or was he letting her down gently?
His fingers tightened on hers. “I love you, Hayley Sorensen. I love you so much I can barely contain my feelings. I’ve realized I don’t want to be away from you for any period of time. I trust you with my heart, and that’s something I haven’t trusted anyone with for a long time.”
“Oh, Adam.” Tears welled and her heart ached for the pair of them, yet she was optimistic, too. They’d come through the hard times, and as far as she could see, there was nothing but happiness on the horizon.
He sank to one knee. Hayley smothered a giggle and glanced over her shoulder, hoping no one was looking through the window. It was romantic and silly and she loved it.
“Will you make room for my drafting table in your new house? Will you make room for me in your life? In short, will you marry me?”
“Didn’t I just tell you I wanted to marry you?”
“Yes, but I thought I should ask.”
“You’re such a man. But you’re my man.” Smiling, she tugged on his hands. “Now get off your knee and kiss me.”
“Yes, ma’am. I can see who’s going to wear the pants in this family.”
“You’d better believe it.” Hayley pulled him into her arms and rose on tiptoe to claim his mouth. With his strong arms around her, all her doubts and fears melted away as happiness flooded her heart.
Adam eased back but slid his hands to her hips, keeping her close. “Let’s go tell Summer. I can’t believe I’m actually excited about the thought of living in Hope Mountain but now, thanks to you, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. I can’t wait until we start working on your new house.”
Hayley couldn’t believe she’d ended up with Adam Banks, of all people, but now she couldn’t imagine being with anyone else in the whole world. They were both in it for the long haul, and he and Summer felt so right for her. At last she would have the loving family she’d always longed for.
She pressed her face against his chest and hugged him tightly. “You mean our new house.”
* * * * *
Keep reading for an excerpt from ALWAYS EMILY by Mary Sullivan.
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CHAPTER ONE
One year ago
“YOU COULD ALWAYS STAY here with me,” Salem Pearce whispered into the velvety night, his butter-soft voice a contrast to the chirrups of crickets in the tall grasses lining the road.
G. veletis. Spring crickets. Only the males sing. Like crickets, men had their calling, courtship and rivalry songs. Emily Jordan had heard them all. In her experience, men were full of bluster.
But not Salem. Not her friend of few words.
These words shocked her. Even more, they frustrated her because his timing couldn’t be worse.
“I’ve waited years for you to ask me that,” she said fiercely. “How could you do this to me now? The night before my flight out?”
“You’re always catching a flight.” The bitterness in his voice might have been justified if not for their history. She wasn’t the only one who had turned away in the past. “You’re always leaving.”
The pale moon shone on hair as black as a cricket’s back and sent his deep-set eyes, as dark as the night weaving through the woods beside them, into shadow. His Native American skin, honey-gold in sunlight, glowed darker in the moonlight. An intensity she hadn’t seen before hardened his features.
“Of course I’m always leaving,” she answered. “Because I don’t work here. My livelihood takes me everywhere but here.”
“You set a record this time.” His voice hardened and cut through her defenses like an acetylene torch, the steel of the armor she’d spent years shaping useless against him when he used that harsh tone. She’d loved him for years, and then she’d learned to turn it off when he’d married someone else. “You didn’t last even a weekend.”
