Want Me, Cowboy

by Sinclair Jayne

  It hadn’t felt like that at the time. And it sure as heck wouldn’t now to watch Luke turn away all dazzled by her beautiful twin so much so he’d probably not even remember Tanner’s name or that he’d once kissed her dizzy.

  Ugh. Enough with the pity party.

  “Why do you want Tucker, Dad. She’s got a commercial shoot and several sponsor events this weekend.

  “You girls should be together,” he said. “Talk.”

  He wouldn’t look her in the eye. Tanner climbed down off of Hell’s Bell’s pen fence and walked toward her father.

  “About what?” she asked.

  Her father never wanted to talk so alarms were ringing everywhere.

  Her father shuffled to another pen, using the fence. Her heart pinched and she had to force her hands to her sides so she wouldn’t offer to help.

  “Thinking she might settle by now. Ranch. Babies.”

  “Tucker?” Tanner laughed.

  Her sister repeatedly said she never wanted to marry or have kids and she sure wasn’t going to “be tied to one ranch and one town.” She’d said that when she was twelve and she still said it at twenty-seven. And as far as the “M” word, Tucker would toss her flowing mane of amber fire over her shoulder and ask “Why? What’s in it for me?” She always laughed and said there were “So many men and only one of me.”

  Tanner had always been a bit stunned by her sister’s attitude and thought she must have taken after their mother rather than their dad. Tanner had always thought being married and having a family and working with animals on the ranch and growing a lot of her own food was the best way to live life. She’d enjoyed the intellectual challenge of college and grad school but she’d missed the ranch and her animals. She’d missed Marietta.

  “When you going back to school?”

  Tanner was so astonished by the question she nearly clapped her hand over her ear several times thinking she’d heard incorrectly.

  “I’m done with school. I got my masters.”

  Plus another year and a half.

  “You quit to come home and run the ranch when I couldn’t.”

  She walked closer to her father and looked quickly around. For such a usually bustling place, the stock pens were strangely deserted as if her father had told their crew he needed a moment. Her stomach churned sickly. The few times her father had done a heart-to-heart, the outcome had never been good.

  “What’s this about?”

  “You should finish what you start.”

  Her heart thumped unevenly. “What exactly are you referring to?”

  “Get your doctorate so you can get that job you wanted in a lab or teaching at some fancy school.” He spoke stiffly as if the words were alien in his mouth so he’d had to rehearse them over and over.

  Tanner felt as if all the blood had rushed from her head.

  “Dad?”

  He walked to another pen and stood looking, swaying a little, looking at the bull, Rock ’N Roll inside.

  “What’s this about? I have a job. I work on our ranch. With you.”

  “Don’t want you stuck on the ranch.”

  “I’m not stuck. I love it. I love the bulls and the horses. I love the ranch.” Her voice rang out, getting a little high and strangled.

  What was he saying? What could he possibly be saying? She knew the ranch had struggled. That they’d had to take out two loans, but she’d worked hard, cut back on staff, sold some good breeding stock and had worked really hard on their breeding program and marketing. They were climbing out of debt, not sliding back. She was only in phase one of her plan for the ranch.

  He looked at her for a long moment, and Tanner felt as if she were looking at a stranger.

  “You loved school.”

  “Yes. But I didn’t study animal science and genetics to sit in some university lab.”

  “I’m beginning to think Tucker won’t come home.”

  Tanner waved her hand as if she could wave away her absent sister.

  “So what? She’s living her life. She can come home anytime. The ranch will always be there for her.”

  Tanner spoke with finality, too uncomfortable with this conversation. Her dad was a man of action. Not words. And never feelings and this one-eighty scared her.

  “It’s no life to be alone on a ranch. No husband. No family.”

  Tanner could barely breathe. What wasn’t he telling her? She opened her mouth to ask, but felt swamped by fear and confusion by his closed off expression.

  “It’s my life, Dad,” she whispered. “What I want.”

  Is he sick? What’s he not saying? She was felt like she was climbing out of her skin with anxiety.

  “Your mom didn’t want it.”

  Or them.

  Tanner winced as the thought hit her. She still remembered the day she and Tucker had gotten off the school bus and run up the mile-long drive to find their dad feeding the animals like usual, but no mom. No snack. No dinner roasting in the oven.

  “You’re mom’s gone,” he’d said when Tucker had asked. “Don’t know if she’ll be back so you girls will need to take over the entire garden, cooking as well as other chores.”

  “I’m not mom, Dad.”

  Why was he talking like this? He never revisited the past. Ever.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Got an offer.”

  “What?”

  “Thinking about it.”

  She couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe. An offer. Sell the ranch. The Triple T. It had been her grandfather’s and his father’s before that. It was her home. Her business. Her history. These were her bulls. And her broncos, but she loved the bulls the most. Their fire. Their unpredictability. The beauty when they whirled around the arena, the rider. Her thoughts spun.

  “Why… why would you ever sell the ranch?” She hated that her voice broke, that she could barely get the words out. It wasn’t just his ranch. It was hers. Hers and Tucker’s. Their legacy. And when she had children it would be theirs.

  “Just thinking.”

  Well don’t.

  She swallowed and so many words flowed around them, questions, fears, but she couldn’t seem to grab any of them. She remembered how, when she was little, she and Tucker used to try to catch fireflies, running around, their fingers outstretched always reaching, never catching.

  “Don’t get a lot of offers on ranch property.”

  “But why would you even consider it?” She demanded.

  “My ranch.”

  Tanner took a step back. He looked at her then looked away as if he saw too much.

  His ranch. His. Not theirs. Not hers. It had been her home. Her business. Her future. But now he was saying not her anything.

  His.

  “Just thinking,” he said gruffly after time stretched thin. “Got an offer. Thinking on it. That’s all. You’d be free to live your own life.”

  “This is my life.”

  Tanner bit down on her lip, feeling like the dirt under her feet was sliding sideways and away. She needed to… she didn’t know what to do. Argue? No arguing with Bruce McTavish. Go somewhere and process? But where? And how could she process this? The ranch. The bulls. The broncos. The breeding. The training and some boarding. This was her life. Blindly, she climbed up on a pen and looked over at her only all white bull, Rising Star.

  “Hey, beautiful.” She crooned, unable to see him through her tears, barely able to get the words out past the lump in her throat.

  He chewed calmly and eyed her. Like nothing was wrong. And maybe it wasn’t. She just needed to keep calm. Her dad was tired. Worried. He just needed to see she could take care of the ranch and the animals and the future. That was her family. The bulls. The horses. Her crew. Her dad was just feeling… who knew what he was feeling and who cared? He was wrong. And she’d prove it to him.

  Tanner began to sing a Sara Bareilles ballad, like her father’s bombshell hadn’t exploded. Rising Star moved closer and she scratched his ears, and he tilted his
head, momentarily abandoning his special grain protein mixture. She felt cheered as he snuffled at her. She fought the urge to hug him. That could go badly in a second, but she felt like she needed something warm and safe to hold on to.

  “Don’t let that IBR cowboy see you,” her dad said, leaning against the pen fence and Tanner had to blink back tears because it was like the old times when she used to follow her dad around the rodeo, taking care of the bull and the bronco stock in between her qualifying rounds.

  “That IBR know-it-all will think we’re raising cows, not bulls.”

  “The IBR know-it-all will think what?” Kane swung himself up on top of the pen fence next to her, the picture of masculine perfection. “Nice to see you again.” He smiled cheekily and he had a cleft dimple in his chin. Of course he did.

  “I bet.”

  “You wound me.”

  “Just a flesh wound,” she said quickly and swung her leg around on the top of the pen so she could jump back down and get away from Mr. Charming and her father, who was gazing at Kane with awe. She jumped, bracing for the smack of the packed dirt, but instead hit warm, hard flesh.

  “Hello,” she said breathlessly, her lips inches from Luke’s and, that fast, her dad, his bombshell, the stock pens, the bull-riding brother with lousy timing all disappeared.

  His arms were hard around her body and she felt safe. It was heaven and spooked her to her soul. She relied on no one but herself. She had since she’d been fifteen and alone in the hospital, trying to heal from an injury she could barely comprehend that had changed her life beyond recognition.

  She couldn’t help it; her fingers crept from his shoulders, which she’d instinctively grabbed when he caught her, to touch his hair, which was so thick and soft. Her gaze settled on his mouth. He’d kissed her earlier. She wanted him to kiss her again, Kane and her father be damned.

  “Cowboy,” she said.

  His eyes were liquid gold, and she knew he was going to kiss her. Her body heated and melted and her lips parted, but then his expression closed off and he put her down. Looked away. What the hell just happened?

  Chapter Nine

  “Well?” Tanner demanded later that afternoon, her attention completely focused on Luke.

  He took a bite into the dark chocolate, salted caramel, and lavender square and let it work its magic in his mouth. He wasn’t that much of a candy or chocolate fan, but he was enjoying to Tanner’s undivided focus a little too much.

  “Good,” he finally said, when he could talk.

  “Good? That’s the best you got?” She scoffed. “Sage Carrigan’s chocolates are the best! She’s a local and one of the first business owners to really wake up Marietta to the possibility of being a tourist destination. Her chocolates are destination chocolates, and I bet they could beat chocolates in France, Switzerland, and any other European country famous for chocolate. They are the best.”

  He found himself smiling inside. She held out the rest of the chocolate he’d taken a nibble from, silently daring him to finish it so he could praise it properly. He loved the way her skin gleamed and her pale freckles played across her skin like a star map. Her greenish, hazel eyes were free of the earlier shadows he’d seen when he and his brother had joined her to look at the stock she’d brought to supply the rodeo. He’d suggested they attend the town’s barbeque and street fair after he and Kane had looked at the ten Triple T bulls, and they had watched as four more had been delivered.

  Kane had inspired awe among everyone there. Luke didn’t begrudge him the attention. He would have hated it. He loved riding. But it was a job. And he didn’t want the other aspects of it. The social. The adoration. The demands of management and sponsors. The scrutiny. All he wanted he thought as he watched Kane turn it on was to get away with Tanner.

  He leaned forward. “This chocolate can’t begin to compare with how sweet you taste,” he said softly, and then took the rest of it from her hand with his teeth and then leaned in close enough for her to take a bite.

  He should tell her he knew Tucker. Had known her a long time ago. He’d been trying to carve out a time to tell her, make it casual, not a big deal, but he had a sinking feeling it would matter a lot to her so he wasn’t thrilled to open the topic. He needed to, but between Tanner bumping into many friends—she seemed to know the entire town and Kane improbably tagging along, he hadn’t had the chance.

  And the more time they spent together, the more he wanted to put it off, but then it would get awkward to tell her later. And he really wanted there to be a later, which he was trying to not examine too closely, but “hey, Tanner, I think you’re great and would love to try to see you again after this weekend, by the way I slept with your twin a few times, but that was over years ago,” didn’t exactly fit in with natural conversation.

  Yet Tanner was so easy to talk to, so easy to be with. She was smart. Funny. Subtly sexy in an understated way that made him want to get closer, get to know her better. He loved her natural look. Her love for her bulls and their bloodlines. Her enthusiasm for life.

  Tell her, he ordered himself, trying to signal Kane to get lost. Later was the coward’s way, but the afternoon walk around Main Street and the park with the food booths, children’s games, open shops and sidewalk sale was part of small-town life he loved but didn’t get to often participate in. He wondered if Colt were here with Talon and her kid. Kane was going to give him hell about that when he found out. And he would find out. God, this rodeo. Heaven and hell so far.

  He was competing tomorrow. He needed a clear head. No drama. Maybe he should tell her Sunday, after the finals. Not the best timing. Definitely not the honorable path. He squirmed internally because he always walked the right path, not the easy path. But two days wouldn’t make that much of a difference, as long as he didn’t sleep with her.

  “You like caramel,” he said as she closed her eyes and hummed as she took the first bite of the brownie, Rachel, owner of the Copper Mountain Dessert Company was selling from a festive, rodeo-themed table outside of her bakery.

  He barely resisted kissing the corners of her mouth where she still had a crumb. She opened her eyes, her expression still blissful as she held out the brownie to him.

  “I like caramel even better now.”

  “Why now?” he asked taking a bite.

  She stood on tiptoe, kissed him, snagging a bit of the brownie for herself. Her lips brushed his, and without thinking, his hand pressed against the small of her back, keeping her close.

  “Your eyes are caramel-colored,” she said softly, pink staining her cheeks, but her gaze held his. “Only prettier.”

  Luke felt a jolt deep inside. He’d thought as long as he didn’t let things get sexual before he told her about Tucker, he’d be okay. Maybe. At least not a jerk, but she was not making the not sexual plan easy to keep to.

  He saw Kane had been waylaid by a group of young boys, all posturing a bit, trying to seem taller, bigger, older than they were while talking to his brother. Kane looked relaxed, interested. Luke liked meeting the younger fans, but Kane was just so much better at the social part. Luke felt tense, waiting for his mother to show up, but so far after her flurry of texts and phone calls yesterday, she’d been silent. Nor had she answered his early morning phone call to her.

  “How hungry are you, Tanner?” he asked, part of him enjoying the small-town scene, the other dreading gossip, seeing his grandfather, the bartender, and Colt, so he was wishing them far away, but public would be better for keeping his promise of hands to himself.

  “Very.” She placed her palm flat against his abs. “We did come for the barbeque, and you’re going to need your stamina for later.”

  “My stamina’s fine,” he said quickly, hoping she was referring his bull-riding and roping events and not anything else.

  Just thinking about the possibility of anything else had his cock stirring with sudden interest, and his jeans felt restrictive, and not for the first time did he wish he was not so sexually suggestive. It
would be better to play it cool, professional instead of adjusting his jeans and mentally dwelling on cold showers.

  Tanner poured more fire on his desire by letting her gaze drift down his body real slowly so her once-over was as hot and suggestive as a caress. “You’re right,” she said. “I’m not talking about the stamina necessary for your hoped for eight second ride tomorrow.”

  Her eyes sparkled and she tangled her fingers with his and tugged him away from the bakery.

  “That was not funny.” He reeled her back in and nipped her earlobe.

  “Yeah, it was.” She laughed over her shoulder, and he had to hold back a smile.

  “Not laughing,” he said. “And I’m happy to compare stamina any day, any time.”

  “I might take you up on that, cowboy,” she said. “So let’s get some real food in you.”

  *

  Tanner loved the rodeo. It was her favorite time of year. The weather was still usually sunny and warm during the day, but the nights held a whisper of fall. Her town was all dressed up, showing its best side, and she loved how most of the businesses had tables outside the their shops, showcasing their rodeo-inspired specialties. The town was alive with locals and tourists. The rodeo was a fun opportunity to show off her beautiful bulls and the Triple T Ranch and to catch up with friends. She tried to push her worries about her father’s plans for the ranch and his revelation about an unexpected sales offer out of her mind at least for the weekend. Plenty of time to ask questions later. Grieve if necessary.

  But maybe she needed to pin her dad down now. She could hardly offer up bulls she might no longer have. She felt sick, but the brush of Luke’s fingers along her spine centered her. Her dad wouldn’t sell. He was just feeling his age, his injury. She’d convince him. Or, worse, demand Tucker come home and work her magic. When Luke was long gone.

  She kicked herself for her cowardice and insecurity, but at least it was a plan instead of just feeling anxious about the future. She might be living on borrowed time so she needed to make the most of it. Taking a deep breath, as if that would help her cleanse out the worries, Tanner looked around at her beloved Main Street.