Want Me, Cowboy

by Sinclair Jayne

  Forty-five minutes later, Tanner supervised Twister being loaded into the chute and helped prepare him for his moment to shine. Twister looked in fighting form. He was an athletic, aggressive bull, who elevated and spun, changing directions seemingly in midair. He was one of the bulls she’d wanted Luke to look at for the IBR. Well, he was getting his look.

  She was about to climb down the outside of the chute just as Luke finished his final stretches and adjusted his chaps, his gloves and damn he wasn’t wearing a helmet. She knew he favored his hat. She’d thought it was stupid before. Sexy, but stupid, but now it was asinine, sheer idiocy. Kane wore a helmet. She knew because videos of his rides went viral.

  She sucked in a deep breath. Men were not immortal, and she was lucky lightning didn’t strike her for hypocrisy because she was fretting over a seasoned cowboy instead of focusing on her athlete’s performance and score.

  Who was the idiot now?

  “Hey, cowgirl.”

  Tanner nearly lost her grip on the blue metal railing. She’d been so conscious of giving Luke space to get in whatever zone he needed to get into before his ride that she’d tried to keep from even looking at him so she wouldn’t distract him.

  She looked into his beautiful, warm, golden gaze and whispered a little prayer.

  “Try to hang on.” She teased. “And have fun.”

  “Always do.”

  She jumped to the ground and hurried around so she could watch through railing off to the side as she’d never be able to make it into the stands before he rode.

  Luke’s name was announced. Music blared. His stats were read off. He wasn’t a local or well known on this circuit, but his annual stats definitely fired up the crowd. As did his All-around cowboy wins and two national championships. She was glad the announcer didn’t say he was Kane Wilder’s brother. Tanner counted her breaths waiting for the familiar slide of metal and hard hit of hooves on dirt. Eight seconds. For the first time in her life, she was not rooting for the bull. Luke was out, hand high, being spun around like he was on a demented carnival ride. Luke looked relaxed, but controlled as Twister lived up to his name and flung his massive body up in the air far more vertical than anything that size and weight should be able to.

  The crowd was wild. The cheers and chants were deafening and swelled as the bell marked a complete ride.

  Luke hopped off the bull as easily as celebrities slid out of limos to hit the red carpet. He took off his hat and briefly waved to the crowd, his eyes at all times on Twister, who strutted around, charging a few fences and glaring before being herded back towards the exit gate. For a moment Twister looked like he might charge again, but the whirl of the lasso near his head caused him to skitter sideways and then arrogantly toss his head before he ran down to the exit gate where he would be herded back to his pen.

  Tanner should have hurried to make sure her bull got back safely and was checked out and given a treat, which she always did even though she had a full team in place, but she hesitated, her eyes on Luke as he retrieved his rope, looked at his score, and waved once more before clamoring easily over the fence and dropped down on the other side. He didn’t seem injured or in pain or tired. And she was definitely on board with that.

  “Yes,” Tanner whispered, and was surprised to see that she was shaking.

  She clasped her hands together. She had to get a grip. Luke was in town for the weekend and then a day or two to review her bulls, science and operations. She had to keep that thought fully in her frontal brain, which she had never before realized was so ditzy and sexualized.

  “That was fucking awesome,” Kane said bounding up behind her. “A thing of beauty. He made it look so easy. Classic. He’s top on the score board.”

  Tanner had already figured that out, and her stomach flipped with excitement and pride, especially as she saw him walking toward them, slowed down by a lot of congratulations from various backstage team members and other cowboys. Even Jane Weiss from the chamber of commerce stood up on tiptoes to give him a quick hug and kiss on his cheek. He was clearly uninjured and feeling good, and Tanner felt a coil of tension release.

  “Hey.” He hugged her and brushed his warm mouth against hers.

  “Hey, yourself,” she suddenly felt shy.

  “I know you’re busy,” he said softly. “Want to head over to the steak dinner at six?”

  “Sounds great.” She tried to sound casual and only managed breathy, but it was her clue to get back to work and she took it.

  He caught her hand as she turned to go. “You always look great, but if you want to shower, you can use mine.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind, cowboy.”

  He held on to her hand. “Say my name.”

  She pressed her lips together. Somehow saying cowboy made it more casual, like she wasn’t tumbling head over heels.

  “I like it when you say my name.”

  “Luke,” she said softly like she was committing to something far more intense and intimate than a steak dinner and dance.

  Chapter Twelve

  Never had the glowing, golden lights, woven within the trees of the park and stretched like a panoply of stars above the long tables, stage, and dance floor, been more romantic and beautiful to Tanner. She’d been here every year that she could remember, but this was the only time she’d had a date. And it was a date. She wasn’t even trying to pretend it wasn’t a date. She’d even bought a new sundress at a Marietta boutique during the entertainment break at the rodeo. And she was wearing her favorite vintage, tan ankle boots that were accented with embroidered flowers and beads.

  She hated to miss any aspect of the rodeo, but seeing Luke’s appreciative gleam in his golden eyes had been worth the effort. She’d fretted most of the afternoon but, in the end, had worn her hair partially down, pulled back from her face and wound in an elaborate braid but the back hung loose in a cloud of tight, red-orange curls.

  “Gorgeous.” Luke breathed in her ear as they walked into the park to join the festivities.

  “Bit of an exaggeration, but I don’t mind. Carry on.”

  The sun was setting, imbuing the park and the people in a rosy glow, and Tanner had to admit, she felt beautiful and happy and like she too was sparkling.

  “You were saying, cowboy?”

  “You don’t deserve to know.” He laughed, stopped walking and swung her around to face him, so her body brushed against his.

  She felt his heat to her bones, and she caught her lower lip, unfamiliarly slicked with gloss between her teeth.

  “I think it’s time we were completely on a first name basis.”

  His thumbs feathered along her cheekbones, “Tanner?”

  She could barely swallow around the flame of desire that ignited in her body and burned bright. She felt liquid. She felt clean. Strong. Like she was someone else. Powerful and passionate.

  “Yes, Luke,” she said softly.

  And suddenly she wanted them to be away. She didn’t want to waste the time mingling, eating, dancing. She’d been looking forward to spending the social time with him, showing him her town, her friends. Having someone by her side. Being a part of a couple even if it was only for the weekend. He looked so handsome in his black and gold checked shirt accented with black satin and black Stetson and black dress jeans.

  “Maybe you aren’t really hungry for steak,” she said softly.

  “Are you trying to get out of your promise of a dance?”

  “There are different ways of dancing.”

  “Are you trying to seduce me, Tanner?”

  “Yes. Is it working?”

  “Definitely.” He nearly brushed his lips against hers and then paused. “Oops. Don’t want to spoil your makeup.”

  “Forget all that,” she said and closed the distance between them.

  She sighed as his lips teased hers apart. He kissed her gently and then took a small step back, but she followed, her hands sliding up his arms to his shoulders. She loved the way his body felt under her
palms.

  “Oh, no.” He smiled and caught her roving hands. “You promised me a dance.”

  His smile knocked her sideways. “And a steak dinner.”

  He’d only kissed her, yet her heart was pounding and her breath felt tangled in her throat.

  He must have noticed her flushed cheeks and elevated breathing because his golden eyes moved over her body with intent.

  “Yeah, you should definitely get me fed so I have stamina for later activities.”

  The thrill that shot through her was visceral. It was also ridiculous. She was a woman, not a girl, but she hadn’t flirted as a teen or in college. This was all new to her, and she loved it.

  “I was nervous today watching you ride.” She confided as they resumed walking across the park towards the buffet. “But you were so fierce and controlled. Beautiful to watch. You just dominated.”

  He slid his arm around her. “I’m not a roll. No need to butter me up. I’m pretty much a sure thing at this point.”

  The way he smiled, Tanner knew he meant to make her laugh only her heart pinched instead. She wished he were a sure thing not only for tonight but for longer.

  Always wanting more.

  Her mother had been like that. Look how that had turned out. She’d left a husband, who had adored her, and twin girls, heartbroken and bewildered. She’d even abandoned her cherished horse-breeding and training business. For what? What had she gotten out of it? Tanner never knew. Had it been worth it? Was her mother happy now? And how would Tanner find happiness again if her father sold the ranch, the business she’d built? Yes, she could go back to school, find another job on a ranch. But it wouldn’t be home. But she’d cope. And she’d have to cope when Luke rode away as well, cherish the memory not mourn the loss.

  “What is that quote? Don’t be sad when it’s over, be happy that it happened?”

  “Why are you thinking about that?” Luke asked, startling Tanner because she hadn’t realized she’d spoken aloud. “I am a lousy date if I’m making you philosophical.” He caught her hips and did a quick two-step and spun her around in a tight circle.

  “Smooth moves, cowboy.” She smiled and looped her arms around his neck, emotion welling up, but she forced herself to not throw herself against him.

  He tangled his hands in the loose part of her hair and tugged. “My name, Tanner.”

  And slam, the air was gone from her body. She felt like she was drowning in his liquid-gold eyes. He was anything but just a cowboy, but she had to admit she’d been protecting herself from the first moment. Steeling herself for when he walked away with a kiss and a smile and a thanks for the fun, because for Luke this might be a weekend hookup, but she’d admired him for a few years, and she didn’t realize just how deep her crush had gone until she’d met the man behind the cowboy. He’d been far more fascinating, fun, kind, smart and sexy than even she had fantasized.

  “Luke.” Her voice broke.

  “What’s bothering you?” he asked, and the concern in his tone nearly undid her.

  She was used to being the strong one, holding it together even when she was sad or scared or tired or insecure and even the thought of possibly sharing her weakness was terrifying.

  “Hey, Tanner!” She swallowed hard as she heard her name called.

  Luke swore softly but, for once, Tanner was glad of the distraction. She was in way over her head with Luke. She turned and saw Talon standing there.

  “Colt saved you and Luke a seat, and it’s strategically by the dessert table, which seemed like a good idea only Parker has discovered the lemon meringue mini tortes, so I need Luke’s superior roping skills.”

  *

  Luke laughed as he was definitely not first on the leader board for roping today. Bull riding was another story. He and his bull had both pulled high scores, which if he could pull off again tomorrow for the finals meant he walked away with another first place this year. The points wouldn’t be added to his yearly total on the Mountain circuit, but still, he’d have bragging rights, and he’d definitely be able to ride in the Copper Mountain Rodeo next year although no way was he going to stay away that long.

  Tanner made him feel something he’d never felt before. Belonging. He felt part of something. Involved. Not just watching. And while he’d watched her bulls perform magnificently today, he wanted to come back to Marietta for more than business. And that should scare the hell out of him only it didn’t.

  Although he’d totally acted like a dick kissing her in the shower before he told her about knowing her sister. He’d intended to do the right thing, but when she’d flung open that bathroom door, totally naked and confident yet still a bit shy, his libido had just overridden his stupefied, very visual, very geared for sex brain.

  He watched Tanner chat with Talon and a rodeo barrel rider improbably named Honey who’d had an amazing ride today and who also boarded her horse at the Triple T. Guilt niggled now that he was no longer in the throes of passion. Tanner was the total package. Brains. Beauty. Ambition. Compassion. Fun. She deserved the truth from him.

  Should he tell her tonight?

  She tilted her head back towards the sky and laughed and he felt something deep in his chest stir. For a moment it was hard to breathe. How was he going to tell her? And when he did, he could lose her. Lose her. The thought turned him to stone. He couldn’t keep her. Could he? He wasn’t built like that? He had no idea how to have a relationship. Had never seen a healthy one up close.

  What was he doing? Tanner wasn’t a casual sex partner. He couldn’t treat her like all the other women he’d been with who had just wanted to hook a winning cowboy for the weekend. Tanner was unique. Special.

  And he hadn’t been completely honest with her. Yet.

  So, full disclosure. He’d tried to talk to her last night, but his mother had arrived, and Tanner had quickly left. Now he was dreading talking about his history with Tucker even more. His stomach sank, appetite fled. He definitely had no lingering feelings for Tucker, but he suspected his blazing but brief fling with her wouldn’t sit well with Tanner. It didn’t sit well with him. He was a different man now, and what he wanted from life and what he wanted from a woman had changed.

  He had to tell her. Tonight. But he soon realized that plan wasn’t going to work and that window had closed. Tanner knew everyone and chatted with everyone. She looked so beautiful and happy. She just glowed and he felt awed to be at her side. He couldn’t spoil her evening. And he didn’t want to tell her in front of an audience.

  Tomorrow he’d tell her. After his ride.

  He shoved guilt aside and tried not to be so stupidly silent and tense around Colt, who was equally silent and tense, but Luke had a feeling Colt’s silence was more of a permanent state. Kane, always in the thick of the action and drama made up for their lack in the conversation.

  Finally as a group they sat at a long table, squeezed in together, and he was happy he was sitting next to Tanner only that didn’t last as she stood up and greeted quite a few people. He loved watching the expressions chase across her animated face. Her liberal dusting of freckles made him imagine angels blowing celestial dust across her creamy skin, divining her as a unique and strong individual who took his breath away.

  Feeling like he was staring like a lovestruck sixteen year old, he quickly got to his feet determined to do something—get drinks and rolls for their table, anything. He saw his grandfather on the other side of the park, leaning against several bales of hay that differentiated the picnic area from the rest of the park, talking with Tanner’s father, both of them intense, clearly arguing. Colt followed his gaze and stood up at the same time to get lemonade.

  Without speaking, they headed to the drinks area.

  “Must be strange.” Luke opened the conversation, determined to make more of an effort, as they weaved through people and tables to get to the drinks table where there were large metal jugs of ice tea, water, and lemonade. “Discovering an instant, but not fully functional family.”

>   Colt didn’t break stride. Luke didn’t think he’d answer, and cursed himself for trying, as he’d told himself he’d let it be.

  But as they filled up six glasses of lemonade for their group, Colt answered in a low, terse voice. “Talon’s happy.”

  That always seemed to be the most important point for Colt. Talon. What would it be like to meet the right one and to know it? How had Colt shrugged off whatever past he had and embraced the idea of marriage and fatherhood so effortlessly while Luke felt he would make a mess of it?

  “You?”

  “I’ll deal.”

  “You do the paternity test yet?” Luke asked.

  He’d definitely shelved the request to focus on the rodeo and the Triple T bulls. Besides, now that the shock and instant denial had worn off, he felt like a test was moot. It wasn’t like he had sex every night with a different woman. He would have remembered Jenna if he’d met her and had sex with her, even a one-night stand. He wasn’t Kane.

  Colt shrugged, and Luke noticed how fluidly he moved for a big man. He’d have made strong showings on a bull or bronco. He looked fearless. Fierce. Damn, genes were powerful things.

  “Don’t bother. Talon’s changed her mind,” he said as they walked back.

  “Why?”

  “She was…” He seemed to be searching for the right word. “She never had…” He stopped again. “She was thinking of Parker’s future. That he might want closure when he was older.”

  “You don’t think closure is important?” Luke asked, curious as to what made his brother tick.

  “I don’t give a fuck about shit like that. What’s done is done.”

  Luke laughed. That was the truth.

  “True.” Luke said, remembering how hard his mom had worked for Kane’s father to acknowledge Kane.

  Kane didn’t talk about his biological father, an esteemed orthopedic surgeon and lecturer in Scottsdale, but it didn’t take a psych degree to know that even though Kane had graduated two years early with every scholastic award possible and had top test scores, he’d refused an Ivy League scholarship and embraced one of the sports most dangerous to bones, the early rejection by his biological father still burned hot.