Want Me, Cowboy

by Sinclair Jayne

  The instinctual “yes” she said startled her.

  “Then talk to him.” Talon swung off the top of Spiral’s pen easily and Tanner admired her efficiency and grace. “Tell him how you feel. He can’t be a better partner if you don’t tell him what you need and what you want.”

  “He’s going to think I’m some drama queen.” Tanner groused, and she knew he hated drama, but she’d already decided she was going to suck up her pride and hurt and get back on her adult horse, so to speak.

  “Everyone deserves a brush with royalty now and then.” Talon teased, then she looked at her phone, which buzzed with a text. “Noah’s going to be another thirty minutes or so with Wicked. You probably want to watch Honey and Halo nail first place in the barrel racing event.”

  “Yes, let’s do that.”

  Only they didn’t. Tanner had just settled beside Colt and Parker, who was loaded down with a bucket of popcorn and cotton candy, which he cheerfully broke off a chunk with his grubby boy paws and handed to her with a pink candy mouth, gums and teeth grin, when Honey was announced. They stood and cheered. Parker so wildly that Colt wrapped his hand around the kid.

  “Hey, Halo!” Parker yelled over the announcer’s voice.

  He must have felt invested in Halo and Honey’s potential win because every time he visited the ranch with his mom, whether it was official or unofficial, Parker would greet each horse by name and give them a small treat—an apple or carrot or handful of oats.

  “Yes!” She shouted as Honey and Halo took off, form and stride perfect until Halo stumbled badly and Honey tumbled off. It happened so fast it took the crowd a moment to react, but not Tanner. She was already up on her feet, sliding through the railings and dropping a bit too far down to the dirt and grass below, but she ignored the jar to her joints.

  “Tanner, get back.” One of the cowboys was attempting to lasso Halo, who easily ducked the rope twice and remained by Honey’s still side clearly agitated, stamping, whinnying, her hooves too close to Honey’s prone body. Halo got increasingly agitated when the cowboy prepared for another try.

  “Hold off a second, Jarod,” Tanner said.

  She stared at the Halo’s hooves, feeling sick to her stomach. She’d been on the receiving end of those more than once, but she couldn’t help Honey. She had to focus on her job—Halo, because once she got Halo under control, the EMTs could get to Honey. She could see them hovering at the gate, medical box and stretcher in hand. So strange not to see Harry Monroe there, but she pushed that awful event out of her mind as well.

  She began to sing and Halo looked at her, watched her, eyes rolling, huffing, shying away nervously but not running, not stomping. Tanner kept her eyes a little lowered, arms loose at her sides, but she continued to approach slowly, talking softly, singing a little bit.

  “Hey, Halo. Good girl. Look at you. Halo, sweet girl.”

  “You think you can catch her before she bolts,” the cowboy asked, voice and rope lowered.

  “Yeah. I’ll get her.”

  Tanner focused on the nervous horse, trying to see if she were favoring any leg. Looked for swelling even as she focused on slowing her voice and her breathing. Halo continued to be agitated, but she was no longer nuzzling Honey, who was, to Tanner’s total relief, beginning to move and moan a bit.

  “Okay, baby girl. You and I are going to do a real slow dance, real slow so that Honey can get some help.”

  She didn’t make a move. Just stood by Halo, looking at her and slowly weaved the loose bridle through her hand. She tried several times to lead Halo away, and Tanner was terrified to spook her in case she inadvertently trampled Honey.

  “I’m in position,” Tucker said, softly laying her hand on Halo’s withers cutting her off from Honey.

  She stroked and cooed and leaned against Halo’s side, the pressure soothing but also forcing the horse to move step-by-slow-side-step, gaining precious inches of space so the EMTs could slowly make their way to Honey.

  Tanner kept her focus on Halo, rubbing her neck, talking, and she was surprised to find Tucker staring at her. Tucker pushed up her Coach sunglasses, and Tanner saw Tucker’s red, puffy eyes. It was the first time in a long time that Tucker looked human, looked like how Tanner felt deep down inside, a bit battered, vulnerable, but rising to the occasion, doing what needed to be done.

  “You okay?” Tucker asked.

  “Worried about Honey and Halo.” Obviously.

  “This remind you of your accident?”

  “Not really. Probably would if I were normal.” She mused, taking the olive branch Tucker offered. “But I’ve been to a lot of rodeos over the years. This isn’t the first bad fall I’ve seen. Gonna be lots more.”

  Like maybe this afternoon with the bull finals, her stomach lurched sickly. No, Luke was fine. He was a champion. He wouldn’t get distracted by anything. He wasn’t as into her as she was to him. He was just a nice man so he felt bad for hurting her. He would be heading out in a couple of days anyway.

  “You ever seen anyone you love fall and not get up?” Her twin demanded as they firmly, but slowly lead Halo to the exit gate.

  “No.”

  She’d seen people she knew, liked, cared about, get hurt at rodeos, but loved? No. And she’d been at school in the midst of exams when her father had crashed and flipped over on his ATV while searching for a pregnant cow.

  “I have.”

  Startled, Tanner tried to meet Tucker’s vivid green gaze only she’d shoved her sunglasses back down and pressed more weight into Halo, freeing the EMTs to do their work without having to look over their shoulders constantly.

  “How’s Honey doing, Jake?” Tucker called out.

  “Hey now, Tucker. Glad you’re back,” the young blonde barely out of community college said without looking. “You ever heard of HIPPA laws, girl.”

  “Heard about them and don’t care. I helped train Honey with my sister here. Don’t be letting me look bad now. She good?”

  “I gotta keep my mouth shut.”

  “Wished you done that when I was babysitting you and I had to wash it out with soap more than once. Don’t make me remind your partner that I changed your diaper and you got a mole on your—” She broke off as the partner, putting a neck brace on Honey, could barely stifle his snort of laughter.

  “That’s just mean, Tucker.” A third EMT had backed the truck up between Halo and Honey and jumped out. “Good to see you home. Let me know if you need any of your moles checked out.”

  “Glad to see marriage hasn’t spoiled your sense of humor, Dalton.” Tucker sassed.

  He grinned and joined his crew.

  “Let’s get her back to her stall,” Tanner said.

  *

  “Your girl has balls of steel,” Kane said to Luke as they watched the two women slowly back the horse, who didn’t want to move, out of the arena. Their movements were coordinated, gentle, and clearly skilled.

  “I don’t see any balls.” Parker said hopping up on the fence that separated the arena from the back staging area where the animals were brought in. “They got them in their pockets?”

  “Some days,” Kane said and Colt shot him a look, but Luke couldn’t get into the mood.

  He could barely take his eyes off of Tanner. He’d nearly spit out the damn five-dollar, almond milk latte Kane had insisted Luke suck down when he’d seen Tanner drop out of the stands and scramble over the fence and approach the clearly panicked horse. He thought he’d have a heart attack on the spot.

  “Mom,” Parker turned to Talon. “Did you hear about Honey and Halo? They went kaboom.”

  “That’s why I’m here.” She watched the progress of Halo and the two McTavish twins.

  “Uncle Kane said they have balls of steel that they keep in their pockets some days.”

  “Uncle Kane?” Luke mouthed.

  Nothing like taking things slow and easy.

  “I want to do that, too.”

  “Sounds like a good aspiration,” Talon said
, biting her lip hard. “But, Parker, this is one of those colorful language things that you can’t say at school or at a friend’s house.”

  “Or in church,” Kane added.

  “Awesome!” Parker fist-bumped Colt and grinned at Kane. “Can I give Halo a treat to make her feel better?”

  “Not now, buddy, and I’m going into super stealth work mode,” Talon called out over her shoulder as she jogged to open the gate.

  “I grew up on the back of a horse, herding cattle that didn’t want to budge all the time, and watching Tanner walk toward that horse made me want to flip my shit,” Colt admitted. “And today I had to watch Talon jam a syringe full of something into a bull’s shoulder and that fucker was not standing still. Got no idea what you are all thinking, sitting on the back of one of those bastards. Crazy.”

  “It’s a gift.” Kane shot back, eyes on his brother, but his smile was long gone from his eyes.

  Luke could feel his piercing gray beasts, so like their mother’s, glue to his face, demanding answers. Was he ready to ride? Hell, yes. Nothing would stop him. Was he in top form? Honestly? No. He hadn’t slept. He’d alternated between being pissed off at himself for not copping to knowing Tucker immediately and then with the Fates that had made each moment of this weekend a grudge match with those three bitches and then impotent fury with Tanner for being so unreasonable, and then anger with his anger because she’d been vulnerable, and he’d been a typical pig of a man picking a ripe fruit because it was easy.

  And now?

  He didn’t know. He was going to ride and he was going to win and he was glad Tanner would be occupied with the horse she boarded and her injured friend so he wouldn’t have to wonder where she was and if she were watching him because he now knew the answer was no.

  *

  “Go watch Luke,” Tucker said an hour later looking at her watch.

  “No,” Tanner said, watching Halo bang back and forth in her stall even though they’d lined everything with blankets. Each distressed knock notched up her anxiety.

  Talon had found nothing medically wrong with Halo. Noah had run by and agreed. He and Talon had whispered together and then suggested they load up Halo and take her home, her stall and the comfort of familiar horses would ease her distress.

  “I’ve got to get Halo home and who knows how long it will take to settle her.”

  “I’ll take her.”

  “You’re not familiar to her,” Tanner said.

  “I’m a freakin’ horse goddess,” Tucker said. “And Talon will come. She knows our stable. I texted Jorge and he called Alex at the ranch to line Halo’s stall. Hell, I’ll even sleep with her tonight since you and Talon snapped up the hottest men here and aren’t willing to share.”

  Tanner shouldn’t be staring at Tucker in outrage. Tanner knew Tucker spoke to poke people. But she had not snapped up anyone, dammit.

  “And Kane Wilder is the biggest dud.”

  “Really?” Talon was packing up Halo’s grooming kit and inserting her bridle in her mouth with Tanner as Tucker complained.

  “Yeah. I’ve heard all these stories about his sexual prowess and I had a bit too much to drink last night, a bit. I wasn’t drunk.”

  Tanner barely refrained from rolling her eyes. Barely since men were temporary and sisters were forever.

  “And you know what he did?” Tucker demanded. “He took me back to his hotel room at the Graff. A suite! Ordered me a pizza and made me eat two slices and drink a bottle of water, not even sparkling, and then put me in bed and tucked me in like I was two and then left. He left. Who the hell does that? An altar boy or boy scout or total gay guy. Do you think he’s gay?” Tucker perked up.

  “I think he’s a nice guy,” Talon said. “I hope he comes back to Marietta to live when he’s not competing. I think Colt’s warming up to him a bit and Parker’s in heaven. In just a week Colt’s come back home to us for good, so Parker has a dad and a mom and now he has two uncles. Now all he needs are two aunts.”

  “Blech.” Tucker made a throwing up motion. “Count me out, especially with Kane. I think something’s definitely wrong with him. And I wonder what other aspects of his reputation have been exaggerated. Let’s roll, Talon, so gloomy girl can go watch Luke get his ass tossed off Dervish.”

  “He drew Dervish?” Tanner felt like she’d just been tasered.

  “Good luck. I saw his online stats and two videos while you were trying to get that hospital nurse to give you the goods on Honey. He’s still a newbie but that dude can fly. Luke’s in trouble. He’s good but he’s not Kane. That guy is a bull-whisperer. He’s like one with the bull. He moves with the bull. Okay, shutting up now, because then I’ll want to nail him again, and I’m not into being rejected twice. Go watch Luke. You can use the excuse that you are looking out for your bulls. See you at the ranch tonight if he’s too banged up to be any fun.” She winked.

  Tanner felt a momentary tug of guilt. She’d known Honey since she’d been a baby. Tanner had helped Honey perfect a lot of her riding skills alongside Tucker. She’d raced with her in junior events. She boarded her horse, Halo. Responsibility pulled hard, but Luke pulled harder. She had to catch him before he mounted up. Wish him good luck or something in case it still meant something to him. It had not gone unnoticed that he had stopped texting.

  So she gathered her frayed nerves and hurried over to the chute area. Damn. They were running ahead due to most of the cowboys being thrown off in the first second or two. Made sense. The bulls in the finals were higher ranked. She wished she hadn’t been such a sniveling baby last night. She couldn’t see Luke, but she could see Kane up on the pen saying something.

  Totally not something that was sanctioned but Kane was an international bull-riding superstar. He’d won it all twice in the Vegas finals and he was just twenty-five. He could probably have gotten the rodeo crew to let him ride if he wanted.

  Parker and Colt were leaning against the arena fence a little further away; Parker perched on Colt’s shoulders. She wanted that. Tanner bit her lip. A man. A child. A sense of being part of something larger than herself. She’d felt the ranch and the animals and her successful breeding program would be enough but it wouldn’t. She’d fleetingly touched the ultimate happiness and she was greedy. She wanted more.

  She ran across the last few yards and clamored up the fence next to Kane. Her bull. She had a right to be here even though Josh was already up with the rodeo crew, but his job was watching out for the bull, not the cowboy. She caught Kane’s eye but couldn’t read his thoughts. Luke’s head was down, his focus intense, wrapping his holding hand in tight. Left hand high in the air. Nod. Slide of metal. Tanner sucked in a breath and squeezed her eyes shut, her prayer for the man not the bull only she’d just thought the one word, please, when she heard a crash and a clang of metal that jarred her whole body and shouting and cursing and her eyes flew open in time to see the spooked Dervish whirl around and full body slam into the wall of the chute and then the gate before lurching off towards the rodeo clowns without Luke astride.

  Chapter Fifteen

  She might have screamed. She definitely jumped off, intending to do what… she didn’t know… but before her brain formed a plan, Luke was up and scrambling up the side of the pen just as the cowboy got a rope over Dervish who turned quite tamely and went back in the gate like he was trotting off to dinner. That screwup would hurt his stats. Her eyes assessed Luke, who was bent over, Kane and Colt at his side.

  She didn’t belong. She knew she didn’t, but she didn’t care. She had to know he was alright.

  “Are you hurt?” she demanded, practically body slamming him with her momentum and his arms came around her at the last minute and they bumped against the fence, which wasn’t graceful but probably barely registered on the pain meter after Dervish’s clumsy, disqualifying entrance.

  “You want to go again?” The judge was asking, since anytime a bull touched the sides of the chute before being clear was a DQ, and the cowboy could get
a do-over even though many of them were too banged up at that point to take up the offer.

  “Are you hurt?” She demanded again, running her hands over his body looking for blood.

  He was conscious, but not speaking, his features tight with pain.

  “Want a medic?” One of the paramedics jogged up.

  Again, Tanner felt the sharp jolt of missing Harry Monroe. She’d seen him at rodeos for years. He’d been a part of her life since kindergarten. And now he was dead.

  Life was so precious, and Luke had just risked his. She could have lost him. Eyes squeezed shut she held him close.

  “No medic.” Luke shook his head.

  He hadn’t pushed her away.

  “Luke?”

  And then his eyes met hers and it was Tanner who couldn’t breathe. She had been afraid that now every time she looked at him she’d think about him with Tucker. But it was just Luke and her there.

  “I was so stupid to doubt you,” she whispered. “To push you away, to let all my junk from my past intrude.”

  “What’s it going to be?” the judge demanded. “You want to ride or you want to scratch?”

  Kane looked at the score board. “You just have to stay on and you got it.”

  “What hurts?” Colt asked, Parker on the ground now, hopping excitedly back and forth from one foot to the other.

  “Ribs, which you already fractured Thursday, thanks. Added more to that count. Elbow. Shoulder. Wrist.”

  “I got tape!” Kane pulled a thick roll of medical tape out of his pocket and waved the medic over.

  “You’re a moron,” Tanner told Kane. “He can barely stand. Luke, you do not have to ride again just because your so-called superstar brother’s here.”

  Kane grinned and Luke laughed, spit some blood on the ground from his mouth.

  “Hell, yes, I’m riding again,” he told the judge. “And it’s not because Kane’s here. It’s because I’m here.”