Grace Restored

by Toni Shiloh

The incredulous note in his voice seemed to heighten his accent and deepen his voice. A flutter of awareness tingled her spine. She’d always loved his voice. “It was just the right incentive.”

  Guy crossed his arms and leaned against the doorjamb while crossing his feet. “It’s amazing how you inspire people to do your bidding.”

  An eyebrow raised on its own accord. “Pardon me?”

  “I remember how often you convinced me to do something for you.” His gaze met hers and it penetrated her soul. “I would have done anything for you,” he whispered quietly.

  What was with the trip down memory lane? She felt her face heat up with anger. Why hadn’t he thought of that before he left her? She glanced away, intent on focusing on the girls and willing the anger to fade away.

  But it wouldn’t.

  Before her brain could appropriately shut down her words, her mouth opened. “Then why did you leave?” She spoke softly but her words were no less harsh. His departure had crushed her to the bone. Right on the heels of her parents’ death. One loss after the other. Life had been unbearable.

  He stared down at his shoes and mumbled under his breath.

  Was she supposed to hear that? “I can’t hear you.”

  His black eyes alighted on her face and a soft exhale caressed her face. It just made the anger swell higher.

  “It needed to be done.”

  She crossed her arms wishing she had the ring to turn. It had always helped her think better. “Why? What did I do to make you leave?”

  “Oh, Chelle belle, it wasn’t you. It was all me.”

  “Done!”

  She startled and turned, looking at Bekah’s beaming face. Rachel’s mouth dropped open in shock.

  “Good job, Bekah. Let’s go down and take a look at my lip gloss.” She looked at Rachel. “When you’re done, tell your dad and I’ll get that penny for you.”

  She passed Guy thankful for the opportunity to escape.

  THE ORANGE SCENT OF perfume wafted by as Michelle left the room. The echo of her words reverberated in his skull. What did I do to make you leave?

  He’d been fooling himself saying they weren’t in love. That she couldn’t have expected their relationship to last forever. Lies. Guy knew what they had and knew the destruction it would bring the moment he decided to leave.

  That was why he had left in the dead of night. He had been too much of a coward to say good-bye. Too cowardly to drop to his knees and beg her for forgiveness. Isn’t that what one should do when they tarnished the one they loved?

  Taking her virginity had been a huge mistake. He shouldn’t have done it...not that night...and not in that way. He rubbed his hand down his face as the memory came back full force.

  Guy opened the door, surprised to see Michelle on his doorstep. It was after 11pm. He closed the door behind him, praying his mom didn’t wake.

  “What’s going on?”

  Tears were streaming down her face and her nose looked like Rudolph’s.

  “My parents are gone.”

  He stared at her, not understanding what she meant. “Where did they go? Are you locked out of your place?”

  She shook her head vigorously. “No,” she choked out. “I mean they’re...they’re...they’re dead.”

  He stepped back, the door knob digging into his back. “What? How?”

  She twirled the ring he had given her around her finger as words tumbled from her lips. “The Kodiak City police came...he said they were dead...I had to go to the hospital...I...Chloe and Jo went with me...but it didn’t matter...they’re gone...and I’m all alone.”

  Her hiccupped last few words broke his heart. Guy gathered her into his arms and she snuggled her head underneath his chin. She fit perfectly. But why did it have to be for this reason? Her tears dampen his shirt. Soft noises poured forth from his lips, trying to ease the hurt as his hands ran up and down her back.

  She pulled away and looked at him. “Can you come with me to our spot? I don’t want you to get into trouble, but I need you.”

  Her hazel eyes swam with tears and he knew he’d follow her. If he got in trouble, so be it. She needed him and that was all that mattered.

  “Of course, I’ll come. Let me drive.” He brushed a tear away with his thumb and softly kissed her lips.

  Michelle nodded and handed him the keys.

  “Papa, I’m done.”

  He blinked. Rachel’s voice broke through the past; though, it tugged for him to finish the memory. It vied for his attention as the present beckoned him to rejoin. “Good job, Peanut. Let’s go tell Michelle.”

  “Okay. I can put the penny in my piggy bank.”

  Kids bounced back so easy after disappointments. There was probably a lesson to be learned in there, but his head hurt too much to decipher it.

  As they sat down to eat spaghetti and garlic bread, Guy had to force himself to remain still. The scene was too surreal. Charlene hadn’t experienced family dinners. He’d always wondered what it would have looked like to have a woman with him at the table. His mother didn’t count. However, the dream never featured Michelle cast in the role of wife and mother.

  Would this have been his life if he hadn’t left that summer?

  Guy gave a mental shake of his head and tuned into the conversation around him. The past had no place right now. Nor the what-ifs.

  “Miz Chelle, do you work with, Papa?” Rachel asked around a mouthful of spaghetti. Although she always protested when he made the dish, she was the first one finished.

  “Don’t talk with food in your mouth, Rachel.” Guy shook his head.

  “No, I went to school with your dad.” Michelle offered.

  Rachel’s eyes widened as she looked at him, and then back to Michelle. “You’re old like him?”

  Michelle’s laughter rang out, the sound reminding him of Christmas cheer. He snorted in derision. He sounded like a sap.

  “Yes, we’re the same age. Well a few months apart at least.”

  Rachel giggled behind her hand. “Me and Bekah are the same age.”

  “Really? How’s that possible?”

  “We’re twins, silly.”

  Michelle gasped and he felt himself respond with a chuckle. It felt weird, like he was a little rusty participating in the action. His laugh must have sounded odd because Michelle glanced at him.

  “Twins are really special. You’ll always have someone to play with,” she said. “I had to wait until I was older to have a friend to play with.

  “You had no one to play wif?” Bekah’s eyes widened.

  Rebekah had such a compassionate nature. That’s how Charlene had been through and through. He looked down at his meal. Would she hate that another woman was enjoying a meal like they were a family?

  Guy stuffed his face with spaghetti. Anything to block the questions from forming. He was a guy...why did he have to think so much?

  “No one. But when I got to high school I met my best friends, Jo and Chloe.”

  “Nana’s granddaughter, Jo?”

  Michelle nodded at Rachel.

  This was too surreal. Michelle talking to his daughters. In his house. At his dinner table. Another bite of spaghetti was warranted.

  “The food is wonderful. Thanks for the invite.” Michelle smiled at him and he choked.

  He grabbed his napkin.

  “Papa, okay?” Bekah asked, worry furrowing her brow.

  He nodded and wiped his eyes. “Wrong pipe, Jellybean.” More like, bad sense of déjà vu.

  The rest of the dinner went by uneventful. It was almost comical in its normalcy. The only thing different was how well-mannered his daughters were. It made him wonder how much not having a mother affected them.

  As Michelle hugged the girls’ good-bye, he watched, feeling like an outsider. They were all smiles and giggles and he felt the pang of Charlene’s death acutely. Life had too many questions, too many paths that beckoned to be explored. Only once you left one path, it seemed impossible to find the other.
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br />   “Thanks again for the invite.”

  He gave a terse nod. Don’t be a jerk. “You’re welcome.”

  With a wave, she was gone. Out of their lives.

  But for how long?

  Chapter Fifteen

  Michelle turned the office lights on and headed toward the back. Coffee was a must. The first cup was always the best and usually the only one she finished. Once clients came in, she got lost in work and finishing a cup of coffee became irrelevant.

  The empty secretary desk beckoned to her as she made her way back to her office. She really needed to consider hiring a secretary or even a paralegal to help do some of the research work. It was time to check her books to see if she could afford to hire someone.

  The door chime rang through the office. It better not be Guy. Michelle still couldn’t believe she ate dinner at his house last night. Her acquiescence of the invitation had been to torture him. It was obvious he didn’t want her to accept, so in true adult fashion, she said yes.

  It really would serve her right if he paid her another visit. She stopped short when she saw a young woman waiting in the outer office. The dark circles under her gray eyes and pallid looking skin bespoke a grave problem. Michelle had seen that expression many times before.

  “Can I help you?”

  “Yes, I’m...I’m looking for a lawyer.” The woman stepped forward then stopped, a look of uncertainty on her face.

  “You found me. I’m Michelle Thomas.” She offered a hand in greeting. “Would you like to sit down in my office?”

  The woman nodded, her black ponytail swinging with the movement. Whatever was going on with her, showcased across her features. Michelle would take the opportunity to watch her body language when she questioned her. It would be a mistake to assume everyone who came through her door was innocent.

  Michelle gestured to the seat in front of her desk. The woman sat down, clinging to her purse strap. She had to be in her early twenties. Her clothing looked new so she couldn’t be homeless. Yet, her face was drawn tight and the circles were deep, making her eyes look lifeless.

  “How can I help you?”

  “I uh...I need a lawyer.”

  Michelle nodded, trying to show compassion and not impatience. She grabbed a pen to jot down notes. “Okay. What do you need a lawyer for?”

  “I uh...I got...” she looked down and exhaled.

  At the abject misery on her face, Michelle’s compassion kicked in. “Take your time.”

  The young woman looked up and gave a small smile. “I suppose I should introduce myself first. My name is Tanya Bledsoe.”

  “Nice to meet you Tanya. You can call me Michelle.”

  “Nice to meet you, Michelle.” Tanya took a deep breath and met her gaze head on. “I was arrested and charged with an OWI and vehicular manslaughter.”

  Michelle’s pen clanged on the desk. What?

  She tried to swallow but her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. She would have guessed Tanya needed an attorney to help with child support or something. Not vehicular manslaughter. OWI and vehicular manslaughter cases were the ones she usually prosecuted. Not defended.

  “I admit I was drunk.” Tanya’s voice was quiet as she stared at her hands. “I...I was really upset about something and had been drinking at a bar.” Her voice was almost a whisper, but it echoed in its starkness.

  Michelle was surprised the sound made it past the ringing in her ears. She picked up her pen and prepared to ask questions. Only she had no intention of taking the case. She’d never defended a person charged with operating a vehicle while intoxicated. “So, you admit you were drunk?”

  “Yes, ma’am. But I didn’t intentionally kill anyone.” Sincerity and strength brightened Tanya’s gray eyes, bringing them back to life.

  If this case went to trial by jury, Tanya’s looks could probably sway a sympathetic juror.

  “How did you make bail?”

  “The legal representative assigned to me got me released on my own recognizance since I had no prior OWI’s. I don’t even have a speeding ticket. It went in my favor, but I knew I needed someone more experienced to try my case. I’ve...I’ve heard your name before.” She leaned forward. “Ms. Thomas, you have to believe me. I did not hit anyone on purpose or because I was drunk. The lady...” her voice quaked, but she continued on. “She wasn’t even using the crosswalk. I didn’t see her but it wasn’t because I was drunk.”

  Michelle sat back. Her inner voice screamed at her to kick Ms. Bledsoe out of her office. She couldn’t defend a person who had killed another, intentional or not. The young man who had killed her parents didn’t mean to either and got off scot free. She couldn’t help this woman get the same fate if she killed another. Especially since she admitted to being drunk.

  But the lawyer in her wanted all the details. Wanted to know how every single second passed by in this woman’s drunken stupor. “Did the police issue you a ticket? Were you arrested at the scene?”

  “I was taken to detox. Later, I received a ticket for OWI. It was the D.A.’s office that charged me with vehicular manslaughter.”

  Michelle’s nails tapped against the table as she fired question after question. “Do you remember the day of the incident? Was it day time or night time? How much did you drink? What was your blood alcohol level?” The questions slipped out fast and fierce, despite the fact that she wanted to escort Ms. Bledsoe off her property.

  “It was night time and I remember it. I wish I didn’t. I had four pomegranate martinis before I decided to drive home. According to the officer, my blood alcohol was 0.15.”

  Michelle’s mouth dropped open. “You were that drunk and thought it was okay to get behind the wheel of a vehicle?” The censure in her voice echoed loudly in the office. All she could think of was that night...that terrible night Officer Simpson had turned her world upside down.

  “Ma’am, I know what I did was reckless, but you have to understand, I was already upset and not thinking rationally. Yes, I drank and got in the car afterward, but I passed at least two cops which shows I wasn’t driving erratically. The only reason I got ticketed was because I hit a woman and she died.” Tanya’s voice broke off and she started crying.

  Michelle’s jaw threatened to crack under the strength of her clenched teeth. Calming down was no longer an option. The haze clouding her eyes propelled her out of her chair as she placed her hands on the desk.

  “I think you need to go. I can’t help you. I would suggest you retain the legal representative assigned to you or find some attorney who defends drunk drivers regularly. I’m not the right attorney for you.”

  “Is it because I’m white?” Tanya asked, tears rolling down her face.

  “What? No. That’s absurd. It’s because you’re a drunk driver and I prosecute drunk drivers, not defend them.”

  The young woman wiped her nose with the sleeve of her shirt and Michelle struggled not to shudder.

  “I’m not a murderer.”

  “That’s for the judge to decide. And since I’m not going to be your attorney, that does not concern me.”

  “Please, you have to help me. I don’t want to go to jail. I don’t deserve that for one time of drunk driving.”

  Michelle stared at the wall, willing herself not to peer into the pleading gaze of Ms. Bledsoe. She would not be persuaded. For the first time, Michelle wanted no part of an OWI case. Her anger swirled around her, tightening its hold. It held her by the throat until she was forced to spew the venom churning in her gut.

  “What makes you think I would represent a person who would be reckless enough to get behind the wheel and drive drunk? Are you out of your mind? No one has an excuse to get behind the wheel after indulging in alcohol. And I do mean no one. My parents were killed by a drunk driver so forgive me if I have no sympathy for your supposed plight.”

  “I had just had an abortion!”

  Her heart stopped.

  Time stood still.

  Michelle was sure the earth
probably stopped spinning as well.

  The weight of the words pushed against her, weighting her body down. Michelle dropped into her chair like a sack of flour, stunned by Ms. Bledsoe’s revelation. Nothing could have prepared her for those words nor the depth of emotion that laced each one.

  Nothing.

  Tanya continued speaking, her words edging on hysteria and incoherency. “I couldn’t have the baby. There was no way. I had to have an abortion. The minute it started, I regretted my decision, but I couldn’t take it back. It was done in a matter of minutes and all I could do was stare. I have no clue what the doctor said after ‘that’s all.’ No clue.” Tears coursed down her face. “I couldn’t take it back.”

  Michelle closed her eyes, steeling herself against the onslaught of memories. She took deep breaths trying to control her emotions, but they would not conform to her desires. One tear slipped over her eyelid, then another, and another until soon her face matched that of Tanya Bledsoe’s.

  “SHERIFF, I WAS WONDERING if you’d like to schedule a play date for our girls?”

  Guy looked at his secretary. The look of hesitation on her face seemed to emphasize the freckles. He sat back in his chair. “Uh, what did you have in mind?”

  With a smile, Holly stepped into his office. “I was thinking a park date. The weather has been beautiful, and Sam loves to play in the park, but hates to do it alone. So I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to get the girls together.” She laced her hands in front of her. “What do you think?”

  Decisions, decisions. He crossed his hands over his stomach. “I think the girls would like to have a new friend. Were you thinking Saturday?”

  “Saturday sounds good. How about noon? I usually feed Sam around eleven o’clock, so she’ll have had her food digested by the time we get there. It will help them run out that excess energy.” She frowned. “Or is that your girls’ nap time?”

  “No, no it’s not. Unfortunately, they refuse to take naps. I would give anything for a little break in the day.”

  She chuckled. “I totally get that. Hopefully the park date will tire them out enough for one. Well, back to work I go.”