Around the Bend (Sandy Cove Series Book 4)

by Rosemary Hines

  “So what is Ben telling him?”

  “That there’s a God who loves him and is ready to forgive him.”

  Silence.

  “We all need that, Amber. Surely you’ve made mistakes, too. I know I have.”

  “Yeah, but not like that.”

  “I understand. But here’s the thing. God doesn’t weigh out our mistakes and pick and choose which ones He’ll forgive.”

  “So he’s free and clear if he just asks for forgiveness?”

  “No. There are consequences he’ll have to live with. But if he seeks God wholeheartedly, he can receive His forgiveness. That’s the amazing thing about the cross. No matter how guilty we are, there’s hope for restoration if we are willing to humble ourselves before God and confess our need for His forgiveness.”

  “Is he doing that? I mean humbling himself and asking God to forgive him?”

  “Seems to be. And, Amber, if there were anyway he could take back what happened, believe me, he’d do it in a heartbeat. He’s learning about God’s forgiveness, but it’ll be much more difficult to learn how to forgive himself.”

  “So how do I forgive him like you said?”

  “It’s a choice you have to make. It’s not about how you feel. It’s about deciding to let go of the anger and bitterness. The best way to start is just to pray for him. And ask God to give you a heart of forgiveness. The same heart that gave Jesus the courage to face the cross for each of us.”

  Silence.

  “Okay. I’ll try.” She said softly and then asked, “What else? You said I have a couple of issues.”

  “The other thing is discovering God’s purpose for your life, Amber. I know you hoped it would be being Chad’s wife, but now you need to start over.”

  “How do I do that?”

  “Well, what things in life are really important to you? What do you like to do? What are you good at?”

  “Caleb’s important. I like being with him.”

  Kelly nodded. “Yeah, I know. But Caleb’s got a family here. Michelle and Steve have given him a wonderful home, and he needs to have his focus on them as his parents, not you. You need to look at the bigger picture and move forward with your own life.” She paused to let her words sink in. Then she asked, “Do you like kids in general?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You seem like you’re pretty good with them.”

  “You think so?”

  “Mmm hmm. I’ve seen you interact with our kids. They like you, Amber.”

  “They do?”

  “Yeah. Have you thought about a career working with kids? Like maybe teaching or something?”

  “I think I might like that. Or maybe social work.”

  “Okay. So that’s a good start. You’ve been taking classes at the local community college out there, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Do you have resources for the university to complete your degree?”

  “Not really. I could ask my parents, I guess.”

  “See what they say. Maybe I can help you explore some scholarship and loan options, too.”

  “You’d do that?”

  “Sure. It’ll be good practice for me. Luke will be in high school next year. We’ll be looking at colleges ourselves before you know it.”

  “You’re amazing, Kelly. Thank you so much for talking to me.”

  “You’re welcome. I’ll check on you in a few weeks, okay? In the meantime, see what you can find out about universities in your area and what your parents say about helping you out with that.” She paused and then added, “And pray for that man, Amber. Seriously. It will bless both of you.”

  “Okay.”

  After they’d hung up, Kelly sat back in the chair and closed her eyes. Fatigue mingled with a sense of deep satisfaction infused her body, mind, and soul. Well done, a voice breathed into her spirit, and she felt joy.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

  Phil and Joan sat on the porch swing together holding hands. The sun was setting, and Thumper slept peacefully at the top of the steps.

  “We’ve had a good go of it, haven’t we, sweetheart,” Phil said.

  She nodded. “That we have. Lots of good times and memories.”

  “I’ve been thinking about what the doctor said, and I’ve been praying about our options.” He paused and squeezed her hand. “What do you think I should do?”

  “What do I think or what do I want?”

  “Are they different?” he asked.

  She smiled but the joy never reached her eyes. “You old coot. Of course I want you to fight.”

  “But?”

  “I heard what the doctor said. It’s really going to be a rough battle, and one with no guarantees.” She turned his face to look at hers. “Phil, you are the one who needs to decide this. We both know our lives here are brief, and we’ll be spending eternity together on the other side. If you want to just live your life to the fullest right now and skip all the months of chemotherapy and radiation and the side effects of those treatments, I’ll be right here by your side grabbing every moment we get.”

  “You won’t be angry or resent me?”

  “I’ll be mad as blazes that you get to go home ahead of me, but I’ll work through that.”

  “Would you stay here in this old house after I’m gone?” he asked, gazing out over their property.

  “I don’t know. I’ve been giving that some thought,” she replied. “Sheila’s invited me to come up and live with her.”

  “What about her new beau? Would he go for that?”

  “She told me the offer stands regardless. But if she were to remarry, I wouldn’t want to be underfoot. Maybe she’d help me find a little place of my own up there in Sandy Cove.”

  “I’m sure she would,” he said, draping his arm over her shoulder and pulling her close. “Let’s sleep on this tonight, and then I think I need to make my decision and let the doctor know which route I’m going to take.”

  She leaned into him and nodded. “Okay.”

  After breakfast the next morning, Phil said, “Let’s go for a walk.” Thumper heard the magic word and was immediately at Phil’s side, his tail wagging.

  “Looks like your boy wants to go, too,” Joan replied with a smile. She knew this would be an important walk. Help me really listen, Lord, and be the wife he needs.

  As they headed out with the dog close on their heels, Phil took her hand and for the moment, they were young again. Two people in love sharing a stroll on a beautiful, sunny morning.

  Joan’s heart swelled with deep affection and gratitude for the man who’d walked through most of her life with her. Ever faithful. A safe harbor for her in the storms of life. She knew all of that came from his love of God, a love that flowed through him to her.

  I will never leave you nor forsake you, a voice spoke into her spirit as she wrestled with the uncertain future before them.

  “Look how the roses are all opening up,” Phil observed.

  She glanced over and smiled. “It’s your green thumb,” she said. A gentle breeze carried their fragrance over to her. It would be difficult to leave this home and the garden Phil had lovingly tended throughout the years.

  As they walked, he reminisced about raising Sheila on the property and how much Michelle and Tim had enjoyed coming and playing there on family visits. Now Michelle’s kids had even romped on the lawn and climbed the trees.

  They strolled up the avenue, passing the homes of neighbors and friends, some who’d been there as long as them, but many who were starting families of their own.

  “This is nice,” Phil said, glancing over at her and smiling.

  “What?”

  “Just taking a walk with my bride and my boy,” he said, patting Thumper on the head.

  Joan nodded.

  Then he said, “I’ve made my decision, Joan.”

  “I figured that,” she replied.

  “I’d like to spend whatever days I have left like this, honey. Just soaking in each moment with you.
I don’t want to be stuck in some hospital bed or tethered to a chemotherapy IV.” He looked over. “Am I being selfish?”

  She returned his gaze. “No. You are being wise. And as much as I hate it, I have to say I’d do the same thing if the situation were reversed. If we were younger, I’d feel differently. You wouldn’t get off so easy then.” She wagged her finger at him, and he smiled.

  “If we were younger,” he began, and then stopped. He turned and wrapped his arms around her, drawing her close against his chest. “I’m so sorry.”

  She looked up. “For what?”

  “For getting sick. For leaving you behind.”

  “You old fool. Don’t be silly. Who knows? I could drop dead on you tomorrow, so don’t think you’ve got a guaranteed jump on me on going home.” She spotted a bench in the shade of a tree. “Let’s sit.”

  After they got settled, Joan felt a strength and peace settle over her that she knew had to be from God. “All these years, you’ve been the strong one, taking care of me and making sure I was okay. Now it’s my turn, Phil.

  “And you know what we’ve always said. God’s got each of our days numbered. If it’s your time to go, all the treatments in the world aren’t going to matter a hill of beans. If God intended to use those treatments to lengthen your days, He’d have made that abundantly clear to us, and we’d feel an urgency and confidence about going that route.”

  “You’re right,” he said. “So you understand?”

  “Completely.”

  He looked over at her, eyes filled with love and gratitude. “Did I ever tell you how much you mean to me?”

  “Once or twice,” she replied, patting his hand and smiling.

  Over the next few days, Joan noticed Phil poking around in closets and then retreating to the little outbuilding they had in the backyard. It had originally been built as a potting shed. Since it was within view of the kitchen, Joan insisted it be “cute,” so Phil had put a miniature front porch outside the door, old-fashioned windows that opened, and a shingled roof.

  When Sheila was five, it was transformed into a playhouse with a little girl kitchen, a table and chair set, a child size sofa and rocker, and of course the doll’s cradle. Their daughter and her friends spent many an afternoon playing house in the adorable little cottage.

  After Sheila outgrew dolls and make believe, Phil had converted it once again to his own space. This time it became an office of sorts where he could sit with his various Bible study books and prepare sermons. He even held some premarital counseling sessions there, and Joan would bring out a tray of coffee and cookies for all of them to enjoy as they planned their futures together.

  Now Phil was carting bags of this and that out to the cottage. “What are you doing out there?” Joan asked.

  “Just a little project,” he replied with a wink. “You’ll see.”

  That was her cue not to pry or snoop. She’d learned the hard way not to go poking her nose into one of her husband’s projects. The surprise was such an important element to Phil, and she’d crushed him one year when she’d wandered out and discovered a special clock he’d been making for her for Christmas.

  No, she’d not go poking around this time. When he was ready, he would show her. In the meantime, she savored the look of joy and mischief on his face every time he headed out there with another bag of whatever it was he needed for this project. She’d noticed the neighbor boy, Trent, had come over to help him a few times. Always wearing a backpack when he walked past her kitchen window, she wondered what Phil had roped the young man into doing.

  When her husband came back in the house about an hour later, he looked satisfied but tired. “Think I’ll stretch out on the hammock for a spell after lunch,” he said.

  “Okay. I’ll get the sandwiches on the table,” she replied, and then added, “Aren’t you supposed to go to Tranquil Living today?”

  Phil snapped his fingers. “You’re right! I can’t believe I almost forgot.”

  Joan placed their lunch on the table and sat down beside him. She rested her hand on his. “When are you planning to tell them?”

  He took a deep breath and let it out. “Better do it pretty soon. I’d like to keep going for a while longer, but they should know and start putting out feelers for other pastors in the area who can step in when I’m no longer able to be there.”

  Joan nodded and gave his hand a squeeze. Then they bowed their heads and thanked God for another day together.

  Within a few weeks, it was clear that Phil could no longer continue his ministry at the Alzheimer’s facility. He needed to conserve his energy for his time with Joan and to finish his project. They hoped to make one more trip to Sandy Cove, but that was looking very iffy, too. Most days, just spending an hour out back in the cottage and then sharing lunch and a little walk with his wife was about the extent of Phil’s stamina.

  He made the decision to go and tell the folks at Tranquil Living that this would be his final visit. They’d found a young pastor named Chris who was interested in stepping in for Phil, and Phil really liked him. He’d joined Phil there once and was introduced to the residents, but both men knew the people living there would need time to settle in and recognize or remember him. In fact, many still needed to be introduced to Phil each time he came.

  It was a particularly warm afternoon, the day Phil went to say goodbye. The residents were gathered on the patio under a shady trellis with overhead fans providing a gentle breeze. In spite of the warmth, some of them were huddled under throw blankets. Others sported baseball caps or sunhats. Lilliana wore her bright purple large-brimmed party hat with the big white orchid on the side. She smiled and chatted with Brewster, who kept leaning over and asking, “Say what?”

  Phil took in the scene, memorizing faces and reflecting on each of these precious people’s impact on his heart. He’d known most of them for years. Their families, too. He was just about to begin sharing with them, when music filled the patio and all the workers came filing out. Sadie, the owner, was pushing a cart with a large sheet cake on it. Some residents started singing happy birthday, but Sadie clapped her hands to get their attention.

  “We are having a little party today,” she announced, “to say goodbye to a very special friend of all of ours.”

  Phil’s heart was in his throat.

  “Today is Pastor Phil’s last day with us. So we wanted to do something very special for him.”

  The residents were silent. Phil scanned their faces. He could see confusion on many of them, but a few of the folks seemed to understand. Brewster pushed himself out of his chair and stood up. Facing Phil, he began to clap.

  Soon they were all clapping. All except those who had dozed off.

  Phil glanced over at Sadie and saw tears in her eyes. “We will really miss you,” she mouthed. Then turning her attention to the group, she said, “Anyone for some cake?”

  As the residents enjoyed their dessert, Phil meandered from one to another until he’d spent some time with each of them. Some gave him hugs and well wishes; others seemed confused about who he was and why they were having a party. By the end of the hour, he was tired and his back was aching. Giving Sadie one last hug, he whispered, “Thanks.”

  “We’ll be praying for you,” she replied softly.

  He smiled and gave her a thumbs-up sign before walking away.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  The next few weeks, Phil and Joan did all the things they loved to do. Walks along shaded roads, buying fresh produce and flowers at the farmer’s market, sipping lemonade on the porch swing, and going through old family photos and scrapbooks.

  They ate at their favorite local restaurants, listened to the little bands that played on the weekends, took Thumper to the swimming hole, and watched old movies.

  Each day held special memories, old and new, as they savored their time together.

  Joan kept a close eye on Phil, watching for signs of pain or fatigue and encouraging him to take little siestas as needed. She c
ould tell he sometimes pushed through his discomfort in his earnest desire to live each day to the fullest. Most of the time, he was in good humor, and she tried to be the same.

  They talked to Sheila on the phone every few days. She would fill them in on the kids and grandkids, as well as her blossoming relationship with Rick Chambers. Every call ended with her asking if she should come down to be with them.

  Finally, one day Joan said yes. Phil’s stamina was faltering, and the pain was getting worse. Their doctor recommended hospice, and Joan realized their time was dwindling, especially when Phil agreed to that plan. Sheila would come at the end of the week.

  Soon a hospital bed was delivered to their home and placed in the front room, where he could see the garden through the big bay window and wouldn’t need to climb stairs to their bedroom to rest. A wonderful hospice nurse named Annie became a regular visitor, helping Phil with his daily needs and monitoring his pain medications.

  The day of Sheila’s arrival was upon them. Everyone agreed the best plan would be for her to rent a car at the airport to get home. Both Phil and Joan were pleasantly surprised when their granddaughter arrived with Sheila. “How did you manage to get away?” Joan asked Michelle.

  “Steve had some vacation time coming,” she replied. As she hugged her grandmother, she added in a whisper, “I really wanted to be here.”

  Phil seemed to perk up somewhat. “You two gals are a breath of fresh air,” he said with a smile. Joan immediately busied herself with getting refreshments for them, while they unloaded their things from the car.

  After Sheila and Michelle had taken their bags upstairs, they joined Phil in the front room. Before they could ask him how he was doing, he began inquiring about the family. “How’re the kids?” he asked Michelle.

  “They’re good. Enjoying their last stretch of summer vacation,” she replied.

  He smiled and nodded. Then turning to Sheila, he asked, “And how’s that new beau of yours?”