Down on Daffodil Lane

by Rebecca Pugh

  ‘No, that’s perfect,’ Brad told her. He moved his hand and touched her wrist. ‘Just make sure you don’t let go, otherwise you’ll go flying backwards and then you really will be thankful you wore a helmet.’ He adjusted the strap of his helmet before asking, ‘Are you ready?’ with a tone of finality that made Maria squeeze her eyes shut tightly. Here goes!

  ‘Yep,’ she replied, although she was nowhere near being ready. She had no idea how fast Shephard could move, no idea whether she was holding on tight enough or whether she was even sitting properly. The opportunity to question herself further was whipped away within seconds as Shephard took off. Breathless, with the air whipping past her cheeks, Maria tightened her arms around Brad’s waist and gritted her teeth. She no longer cared about whether she was holding too tight. Brad would have to deal with it. Every gallop caused her to jolt forward in the saddle, and she was certain she could feel the horse’s muscles moving beneath her. He was a machine. A great, big machine. She was amazed to find that she was still on Shephard with every second that passed, she’d been so sure she’d end up on the ground.

  A short while later, after an exhilarating rush across the field, Maria felt Shephard’s pace begin to slow.

  ‘Everything okay back there?’ Brad called, his deep voice full of laughter. ‘I thought you were going to break my ribs at one point.’

  They’d reached a shaded area and Maria could hear the babbling brook that Brad had referred to when they’d first visited Shephard. The sound of the water trickling past the rocks relaxed her racing heart and when Shephard slowed to a walk, she exhaled the breath she’d been holding. ‘Everything’s fine,’ she replied. ‘And sorry about the ribs.’ Her voice was shaking but it was no surprise. What a shock to her system, but what a thrill it had been. She couldn’t wait to tell everyone about this. Kelly and Kayleigh would be most impressed.

  ‘Here, let’s climb off for a little while. I’ll help you down.’ Brad removed himself from Shephard with ease, then held out his arms to aid Maria in her descent, studying her face as he lowered her to the ground with a frim and steady grip. ‘You look like you’ve seen a ghost,’ he laughed when they were both on solid ground. ‘You’re pale as anything.’

  ‘I never did tan well,’ she replied, brushing the comment off and wishing her legs would return to their normal, well-composed state. They felt like jelly, unable to hold her up. It was the excitement, she knew. The thrill of doing something she’d never done before. She felt ten years younger.

  ‘Come on,’ Brad called to her, ‘come and sit by the brook. Shephard will graze and drink the water, and you can calm yourself down.’

  Maria followed Brad down a small embankment. The brook came into view, glistening beneath the sunshine as it trickled and weaved through the pebbles and rocks within. It was gorgeous little place, and to sit down was something she’d never wanted to do more than at that very moment.

  ‘This is beautiful,’ Maria commented as she sat down on the grass and stretched her legs out with a happy sigh. They’d thank her for the work-out if they could speak, Maria thought to herself. A few stretches here and there had been just what she needed. She was thankful, too, to be sat on solid, unmoving ground that wasn’t bouncing up and down beneath her body. It felt great to be completely still. Her adrenaline had been going wild during the ride, and she’d held onto Brad’s middle so tightly her arms were now aching.

  ‘It is,’ Brad agreed, as he shielded his eyes from sun. ‘So, what did you think? Was it as scary as you thought it was going to be?’

  ‘Only about a million times worse,’ she replied, only half-joking. If she was going to be honest, the whole experience had been exhilarating. She felt more alive than she had done in a while.

  Brad threw his head back and laughed. ‘It wasn’t that bad, but I suppose for your first time, it can seem that way. I’m used to it now, I guess. When we first got him, I was terrified, like you. I was only small and Shephard wasn’t as big as he is now, but still pretty tall. I looked at him and thought, there’s no way I’m riding that. Once I started, I never stopped.’

  ‘You got used to him?’

  ‘I did.’ He smiled fondly at Shephard before turning back to her.

  Maria listened as he continued to speak. He told her about the riding lessons that used to take place at the farm when he’d been younger. ‘My father led them mostly, on the weekend, and made a killing from it too. A few years back, he had a health scare. Everything turned out to be okay in the end, but after visiting the doctor, he was told that he was doing way too much and needed to cut back, and use the weekend for a break – as they’re intended for. He sold the other horses, but allowed me to keep Shephard here, seeing as he’d been mine originally. I took to him in a way that didn’t happen with the others. That’s not to say that I didn’t care about them, because I did. My dad made sure that they all went to good homes, with loving owners, so we knew that they’d be well cared for.’ Brad glanced towards Shephard who was munching on grass. ‘It was a hive of activity back then though. There was always something going on.’ Brad smiled across at her. ‘Until Sunday when you came to visit the farm, I’d never seen you before.’

  ‘No, you wouldn’t have.’

  ‘You said in the café that you’re here for the summer?’

  ‘That’s right. One of my mother’s friends owns one of the holiday cottages on Daffodil Lane and she offered it to me to stay in. I’m giving it a bit of a makeover while I’m here, ready for when she rents it out next summer. And I’m also now working part-time at the café as the new waitress.’ She shrugged. ‘That’s about it really.’

  ‘So it’s a holiday then?’ asked Brad, seeming keen to know more about her.

  ‘Yeah, I guess so.’ Maria ran her fingertips through the cool blades of grass. ‘You live here?’ She turned the questioning on him, intrigued about the man beside her. Plus, all of his questions were getting a little too much.

  ‘I do, and I have done all my life. My dad’s a farmer, and I became a farmer too.’

  ‘And is that what you always wanted to do? With your life, I mean?’

  ‘It’s in my blood,’ he shrugged, as if it were obvious. ‘I love it here. I love the fields, the fresh air, and the animals. I love pushing my body to the extreme with the hard work. There was a time, a while back, where I did plan to leave, but it didn’t happen in the end so…’ He tailed off, his face turned up to the sun, eyes closed as it beat down on his skin. Maria took that moment as another chance to admire his fine facial structure.

  ‘I see,’ she said. Did that have anything to do with what Millie had told her about Brad and the pub owner’s daughter, she wondered? It wasn’t her business so she decided against bringing it up. She’d never been the nosy type. She was happy to listen if anyone felt like offloading, but Brad didn’t seem like he had a burning desire to tell her all about his past. ‘Are you glad you stayed here instead of leaving though?’

  ‘Completely. It’s what I know best. Honestly, I can’t imagine myself being stuffed into a suit and sitting cooped up in an office all day like a lot of people do. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with it, I’m not judging them for their job, but for me, it wouldn’t work. I have to be out in the elements, tending and overseeing the produce here alongside my dad. I love the land, the smells and sights. It’s my idea of paradise, and thanks to my dad, I’ve learnt everything from someone who knows farming inside out. The plan is to take over completely one day, whenever he decides to step back, which is hopefully sometime soon. He and Mum deserve a break. They’ve both been doing this for years now and it’s bloody hard work, I can tell you. I keep telling them to step back and leave it to me. Dad knows I’m more than capable of taking care of things here if they fancied a change of scenery. He’s a bit of a workaholic though, and stubborn at the best of times. Mum’s the only one who he ever really listens to.’

  ‘It’s a beautiful place,’ admitted Maria. ‘I’m really happy I came here. Where I�
��m from, there are barely any fields left. Everything’s being turned into housing estates. Sometimes I wonder what it will look like in years to come, when all of the fields have been built on and there’s nowhere left for the wildlife to go. It’s sad really, when you sit and think about it properly, isn’t it?’

  Brad nodded. ‘It is. Horrible, in fact. So, was there a particular reason you came here, or was it just because you wanted a holiday like you mentioned?’

  Maria stiffened. Why so many questions? And that was clearly off topic from what she’d just been speaking about. It felt like he was digging for the real answer, as if he knew she was holding back information about herself that she didn’t want to share. But then again, she had to admit, she was just as curious about Brad. ‘Just… things,’ she shrugged, deciding against revealing the details. It’s not like he really needed to know the ins and outs of her life, was it?

  ‘Things?’ laughed Brad. He tilted his head to the side slightly and pinned her with his inquisitive gaze.

  ‘Yes, things,’ she replied, his smile catching as her own lips quirked. ‘Annoying things. Things that tipped my world upside down and left me wondering what the hell I was supposed to do next. Those sorts of things.’

  ‘Ah,’ Brad nodded as if he understood. She wondered if he did. ‘Yes, I’ve had to deal with a few of those sorts of things myself, I’m afraid. Not nice, is it? Having to start again, rebuild yourself from the ground up? It’s like you’re a completely new person again. Everything changes. Your beliefs, your opinions… It’s hard.’

  ‘That’s it exactly.’ Maria picked an invisible piece of thread off her cardigan and tried not to acknowledge how spot-on he was with what he’d said. She decided to move the conversation along instead. There was no point in dwelling on it all. ‘But anyway, now that I’m here, I want to move on. Forget about the past and focus on a brand new future. Or rather, that’s what I plan to do. Whether I achieve it or not is another matter entirely. I like it here though. It seems to settle me. It’s weird, but nice.’

  Birds chirped from within the woodland beside them. Brad studied her for a few moments, but Maria refused to look back at him. She was scared of what she’d see. Sympathy? She’d hate it if so. He had no need to feel sorry for her. She was on her way. ‘Anyway!’ she announced brightly, wanting to move on from that topic. ‘How about we head back to the farm?’ She stood quickly and brushed off the blades of grass she’d begun to shred in her lap. They fluttered to the ground like confetti and Brad watched them.

  He remained where he was on the grassy embankment with his long legs stretched out in front of him. He didn’t speak for a moment. Maria watched and waited. What was he doing?

  ‘It is possible, you know.’ He looked up with one hand shielding his eyes from the sun. ‘To pick yourself back up, carry on, begin anew.’

  ‘Is it?’ She tried to sound breezy, as if she didn’t really care, but her voice caught and gave her away. She wrapped her arms around herself protectively.

  ‘Yeah, it is. I know it is. I’ve done it myself,’ he confessed. ‘It takes a while for you to find your feet again, but you do get there in the end, even if it does seem impossible at first. The pain, the sadness, the shattered hope. None of it lasts forever. It all sort of… peters out in the end.’

  Maria tried to hold herself together but the fact that he was hitting so close to home with his words was enough to tip her over the edge. Did he really understand? She refused to let any of the threatening tears surface but she could feel them stinging the backs of her eyes, determined to break the barriers whether she liked it or not. ‘That’s good to know,’ she said simply. She turned away, allowed the warm gentle breeze to caress her face.

  Brad nodded and finally pushed himself up from off the ground. ‘I just wanted you to know. In case you’re struggling. It helps to have someone who understands, and I think I do.’ He stood in front of her and smiled.

  ‘Why did you invite me here?’ Maria blurted out quickly. She’d been curious about it and couldn’t hold back any longer. It seemed odd, that they barely knew each other yet he’d invited her to spend some time with him and Shephard.

  ‘I guess,’ Brad began slowly, treading carefully, ‘I recognise something in you that I’ve seen in myself.’

  ‘Which is?’

  ‘I can’t put my finger on it exactly but you seem… defeated. As if you’ve been trying too hard for too long to stay strong.’

  Maria stared at him and wondered how on earth he had managed to hit the nail on the head so easily when they barely knew each other. She felt naked, exposed, as if all of her deepest, darkest secrets and fears were laid out on a table before him to inspect. He was perceptive, but she wouldn’t let him know that.

  ‘I’m fine, actually. So, what do you say? Should we head back to the farm now?’ She walked slowly back up the mound, feeling annoyed that he’d sussed her out so quickly. It wasn’t fair.

  ‘Come on, Shephard,’ Brad called. He performed a strange clicking of his tongue, to which Shephard raised his head and trotted over obediently. Once both Brad and Maria were safely back in the saddle, Shephard galloped all the way back to Meadow Farm. His hooves rhythmically thumping against the ground matched Maria’s heartbeat, although rather than with adrenaline, her heart was racing with anxiety as to how easily Brad had stripped her defences. She didn’t like it at all. Another man, creeping into her life, trying to take over, acting as if he knew her better than she knew herself. As friendly and attractive as he was, it made no difference. She was nervous enough already whenever he was around, and now he knew more about her than she’d been willing to tell. She’d almost go so far as to say she felt angry. At herself as well as Brad with his stupid, all-knowing ways. She wanted so desperately to turn back the time and erase the time they’d already spent together. Then he wouldn’t know so much.

  Back outside the stables, once they’d dismounted Shephard and at that awkward stage of saying goodbye, Maria handed over the helmet and forced a smile. ‘Thanks for today, Brad. It’s been really great. I can now, thankfully, tick “ride a horse” off my bucket list.’ She laughed but she felt no amusement.

  ‘See? I knew it was on there somewhere.’ He took the helmet and looked down at it in his hands. ‘I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. I did too.’ He stayed silent and then asked, ‘I haven’t upset you, have I? With what I said back there? I don’t mean to pry or make you feel uncomfortable. I’ve always been a bit perceptive, I suppose.’

  ‘No, of course not.’ An awkward silence stretched out until Maria began to back away, almost stumbling over her own feet in her haste. ‘I’d better get going. Got a few… things… to do, back at the cottage. More painting. So I’ll see you around, maybe?’ She turned and hurried off. Her heart was still thumping away when she slipped through the gate and hurried down the lane, desperate to reach the safety of the cottage.

  *

  As she put dinner on that evening – a delicious dish of pasta and chicken with a tasty garlic and herb sauce poured over the top – she wondered about the other woman that Mike had strayed with. She hadn’t wanted to know anything about her at the time of finding out. Maria had built up an image of this woman in her mind. Sexy, teasing and tempting, basically all of the things that Maria was not. She’d never been the type to turn heads. In fact, she’d never even been bothered by that matter until the truth had surfaced, which had shot her confidence to smithereens. Mike had always told her lovingly that she was the only woman for him, that she was perfect in every single way. Something else that was shattered when she’d found out about his antics. How could that be true, she’d questioned afterwards. How can I be perfect in every single way, when he’d gone to another woman? What was I missing? What hadn’t I had that he’d wanted? She’d tortured herself over and over again, unable to stop, unable to come to a conclusion that made sense. It had kept her awake after midnight, made her dizzy with confusion. A question with an answer that she’d never know.

/>   Focusing on the pasta and glancing quickly at the sauce simmering away on the hot hob, she realised then that there hadn’t been anything wrong with her. It was Mike who’d had the problems, and she’d been spiteful to herself in thinking it was the other way around. It was time to be kind to herself, she reasoned. Time to be proud of the woman she was to become. The only person’s opinion of her who mattered now was her own and that was the way it was going to remain.

  Chapter Six

  ‘So, I have exciting news!’ Maria announced with the phone held to her ear. She’d decided to give Ellen a quick call to update her on all things new, and was about to reveal that she was the new waitress at Harriet’s Place. She’d held back the announcement in case anything had gone wrong, but thankfully, everything was fine and Harriet had shown no signs of having had enough of Maria already.

  ‘Oh, do spill, darling! You know how much I love exciting news!’

  ‘Remember when I mentioned the café to you? The one that Rob and I visited when he came up for the first time? Well, Harriet was after a waitress. Guess who went and got the job?’ She paused, hoping to keep Ellen dangling in suspense for just a few seconds to achieve the full effect of surprising her. After all, bagging herself a part-time position hadn’t been on the cards.

  The line remained silent for a few minutes. ‘Who’s that then?’ Ellen asked curiously.

  Maria rolled her eyes but smiled. ‘Me!’ she announced. ‘I’m the new waitress!’

  Ellen gasped. ‘Really? Oh Maria, that’s splendid news. How absolutely fantastic.’

  ‘Isn’t it? I know a job wasn’t in the plan but I’m thrilled. It’s part-time, so it fits perfectly around doing up the cottage. Harriet’s lovely and I feel completely at home there. The customers are great, the café’s great. I finally feel like I’m gaining back some of my confidence, you know?’