I did as told, not fancying falling down stairs today either.
The building was deathly quiet inside. There wasn’t even a whistle of wind sneaking in to disturb the dust. Sun dappled through the boarded up windows but didn’t make much of an impact overall. The beam from the flashlight was the only real source of light.
“Stairs,” Jet pointed out.
I angled the torch downwards as I followed behind. My feet stumbled after about a dozen steps. I lurched forward, dropping the flashlight, and grabbing onto Jet’s shirt to stop my fall.
His hand shot around to hold me before I could tumble any further. I fell right against his chest as his arms wrapped around me until I found my footing again.
“If you wanted a hug, you could have just asked.” I couldn’t see but I would put everything I had on the fact he was smiling like a fool.
I pushed away, my face burning with embarrassment I was glad he couldn’t see. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, I enjoyed it. Just try not to break an ankle or something.”
The flashlight beam moved upwards as he picked up the torch and held it out for me. “No, you keep it. Clearly I have a problem walking and holding it at the same time.”
He laughed. I was glad to be such a good source of entertainment for him. Not.
He started walking. “Keep holding on if you need to.”
I wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. Because all I could think of was how warm his arms had been when they were around me. And how muscled his chest was underneath his coat. It had been a long time since I’d actually been touched by anyone in a tender and caring way that it almost felt foreign now.
I pushed the thoughts away because I did not like where they might lead me. They weren’t practical for survival and that’s all I should have been thinking about.
“I’m about to turn a light on,” Jet warned about two seconds before I was blinded by a fluorescent white light from overhead. I had to blink repeatedly to see again.
“Damn it,” Jet muttered.
Whatever he was seeing, I wasn’t. The room was an empty space. Nothing but a few pieces of trash littered the floor. Certainly nothing swear-worthy.
“What’s wrong?” I asked when it was clear he wasn’t going to explain. He was just standing there at the bottom of the stairs, panicking over something or other.
“There’s meant to be… I mean, it was all here… It couldn’t have gone… Someone has to have stolen it… But how did they find it?... The door was still locked…”
“What’s missing?”
He finally snapped out of it, turning to face me. “This is one of the places I keep our supplies. I was here only a week ago and that whole wall was full. It’s all gone. Someone’s taken everything.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, of course I’m bloody sure.” He staggered around, like it could just be hiding somewhere even though the whole room was visible to us. He kicked some trash around.
I hoped his tantrum made him feel better.
He slumped on the bottom of the stairs. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
I sat next to him. It beat standing on the stairs awkwardly waiting for him. “It’s okay. I’m sorry you got robbed.”
“It’s not just my stuff, it’s how I feed everyone in the tunnels. It took months to accumulate it all. I can’t let them run out of food. They’ll all starve.” For just a moment, Jet let down his guard so I could see the real fear and vulnerability in his eyes.
I once thought he was heartless.
I once hated him.
I had been wrong. He took the welfare of the entire mole people’s existence onto his shoulders. He wore it as his own burden even though he owed nothing to them.
Nothing.
I slid my arm around his shoulders and squeezed. There was nothing I could do about all the supplies, but I could offer comfort. That was definitely within my capabilities.
And it was something I wanted to do.
Go figure.
“Everyone will understand,” I offered.
“They’re not going to find out.”
“Jet, this isn’t your respons-”
He cut me off. “It’s something I have to do. I promised them I wouldn’t let them starve.”
I could probably have lectured him all day about the mole people – or anyone else – not being his responsibility. I could have talked until I was blue in the face but I knew it wouldn’t change his mind. When Jet decided on something, he stuck to it.
The silence in the empty room threatened to stretch into eternity. I hated it. This wasn’t the Jet I knew. It was better to be scared of him than see him as someone broken.
“You said this was one of a few places you used for storage. What about if we go check on another one?” I suggested. “Then we can work on building up the supplies again later.”
His eyes rose to meet mine. He looked at me so intensely, my heart started hammering in my chest. I had no idea why but I was glad he couldn’t hear it.
Thud, thud, thud.
Way too loud.
Finally, he nodded slowly. “There’s one not too far away. We can still make it before it gets dark.”
That’s the Jet I knew. He was piecing back together his carefully constructed façade, his game face. The person he wanted everyone to believe he was.
I had seen through it.
And I wondered if I would ever see him the same again.
Chapter Eight
The second storage room had not been plumaged. It was a quarter full of boxes stacked neatly against one wall. The nondescript cardboard could have held anything but Jet explained they were full of non-perishable food items and some other necessities like soap and clothing.
This was how the mole people, and everyone else Jet took it upon himself to care for, survived. I had suspected it was some superhuman magic, but it was just a stockpile of supplies.
I helped Jet carry a few of the lighter boxes back to the Crain and waited while he locked up. He was very careful with ensuring the security measures were all in place before leaving.
While I was waiting, Oliver appeared beside me. Scaring me half to death. I hated it when he materialized out of nowhere. “A bit of warning next time, huh?”
“Sorry.” The smile on his face told me he was anything but sorry. “What are you doing here? I couldn’t find you for ages.”
“Getting supplies with Jet.” I nodded over toward where Jet was double checking all the windows of the building were secured. He’d already done it once. “What have you been doing?”
“Talking to people.”
Oliver rarely spoke about what he did when he wasn’t with me. I knew he was comforting the new spirits – and there were plenty of those with the harsh winter conditions – but he also spent a lot of time reassuring the other spirits that we were working on their problem.
I suspected he thought it upset me when he spoke of the dead, reminding me that he was one of them.
He was right.
Which was why we rarely spoke of it.
“What is this thing?” he asked, his eyes scanning over the car.
“It’s a Crain. A car/train hybrid.”
“It’s ugly.”
I couldn’t disagree. “Jet made it. He’s really proud of it. Considering it’s a Frankenstein of machinery, it goes pretty well.”
Oliver shrugged. “Whatever works, I guess.”
“We’re almost finished here,” I explained. “Then I’ll get back to the apartment before sundown.”
“Good, it’s too dangerous to stay out much longer. You need to get home.”
“You’re so bossy.” I poked my tongue out at him, earning a genuine chuckle in response.
Jet joined us at that moment, catching the end of my conversation that would have seemed very much one sided. “Who’s bossy?”
“He’s pretty bossy, too,” Oliver pointed out.
I suppressed the smile. “No-one.
Are you ready to go?”
“Who were you talking to?” Jet eyed me suspiciously.
I would not tell him about Oliver.
I wouldn’t do it.
“I told you, no-one. Can’t a girl talk to herself anymore?” I raised a single eyebrow, silently setting down the challenge to question me further.
“You do talk to yourself a lot,” Oliver agreed. At least one of them was on my side.
Jet climbed into the Crain and took his seat next to me. “Whatever. Let’s get going before it starts to get too late.”
I gave Oliver a nod, hoping he understood I meant I would see him back at the apartment. I knew he wouldn’t try to keep up with the Crain – not that it would be too hard with its slow pace – but I didn’t want him feeling like he had to linger anyway. I could look after myself.
We putted along, skirting the city on the railway until we were back at the entrance to the tunnels. Two boys were waiting for us, eager to help with the boxes.
Jet jumped down, holding the Crain’s door open for me. “Come on, I’ll walk you home.”
“What about the boxes? I can help you inside with them,” I said. The boys were only young, about eleven or twelve, it seemed harsh leaving them to do all the heavy lifting.
“They’ve got this. It’s going to be dark soon.” Jet held out his hand, determined. “I’ll take you home and then come back and help.”
“You don’t need to walk me home. You’re not my babysitter.” I accepted his hand anyway and stepped out of the vehicle. It felt safer being back on stable ground again.
“Let you walk around alone?” He gasped, scandalized. “Who knows what you could conjure up on your way back.” His grin split his face.
I wanted to slap it away.
We started walking. I wouldn’t be able to change his mind so it was just easier letting him do whatever he had to do. And honestly, I liked his company. I never thought I would say that but the truth of that fact seemed to be more apparent the longer I spent with Jet.
I was doomed.
No-one bothered me when I walked with Jet. Even through some of the worst streets, the kids stayed away. They were all scared of him. Perhaps that meant I should be too but I couldn’t quite muster that emotion any longer.
Not after everything I had seen today.
We spoke about nothing in particular, passing the time until we reached my apartment. Not satisfied with leaving me at the door, Jet insisted he took all four flights of stairs until he could see me right through my apartment’s front door.
“Do you want to stay or anything?” I asked, feeling obliged to at least remember manners from before the Event. It had been a long time since they were needed.
“I should go check on the adults,” he replied. He stood there, waiting for something but I wasn’t sure what.
The moment was painfully awkward and long. I grappled for something to say. “Thank you for helping me with my arms this morning. And the bandages. I really appreciate it.”
“No problem. Do they feel okay?” He eyes travelled to my bandages, as if he expected to see oozing blood.
“A bit tender, but better than they were.”
“You should come back tomorrow so I can change them for you.”
“You don’t need to do that.”
Jet shrugged. “It’s a bit hard to wrap bandages around your own arms.”
Yes, yes it was.
But something told me that wasn’t why Jet wanted me to return. He still didn’t trust that I would uphold my promise to him. That I would do something stupid and chase down Kostucha by myself.
All the warm feelings I had inexplicably had toward him suddenly vanished into thin air. “I’ll be fine. Thanks for everything.”
I placed a hand on the door, silently warning him that I would close it in his face if he didn’t leave soon. He got the hint, taking a step back. “Okay. Well, I’ll see you around.”
The moment he left, I closed and locked the door. I didn’t want him hovering around me. I had Oliver and he was everything I needed.
It didn’t take long for me to settle in for the night. And when Oliver returned, I relaxed and drifted off to sleep in the relative warmth and safety of the apartment.
The next morning I awoke with a resolve to stay away from Jet for as long as I could. He didn’t trust me and had managed to manipulate me into trusting him. I had fallen into his trap and now had to make sure he didn’t eat me alive.
There was a reason everyone was scared of him.
I should have known better.
But I did need bandages for my arms. They wouldn’t last too long without being changed and I did not want to get an infection in the burns. An infection was like a death sentence after the Event and I could not risk it.
So Oliver and I decided to brave the city. We knew they had bandages in the shelter and hopefully they would still have some to spare. I only needed another set so I could wash my current ones and then continually rotate them.
Snow was still falling in soft swirls down to the ground. It crunched underfoot as the wind whistled through the streets and whipped up the kind of chaos only Mother Nature could.
“Everly? Everly Hilton?” The female voice triggered something in the back of my mind. A forgotten memory that tickled as it stirred to life.
I turned around and saw Violet Arnold rushing toward me, her arms outstretched. We met in the middle of the street, hugging as we shivered in the cold.
Oliver stood close by, she was his friend too.
When I let her go, I studied my old friend’s face. She was just how I remembered her, all blue eyes and thick lashes, surrounded by mousy blond hair. She also wore a look of weariness like it was a burden.
“It’s been ages,” I said.
“Since…”
“Yeah.” She didn’t have to mention the Event. It was the line drawn in the sand for many things. “Are you okay?” What I really meant was ‘are you safe?’ because that was the more relevant question.
Violet knew that, too. Her eyes went to the floor before managing to find their way back to mine again. “Yeah. I’m doing okay. How about you? I haven’t seen you around.”
“No, I got out of the city for a while,” I replied, remembering all those days in my house on the hill.
“That explains it. I’ve been floating around, staying here and there,” she said with sadness more than tingeing her voice. “Are you staying in the city for a while now?”
I shrugged. “I guess. It’s kind of difficult to make plans these days, you know.”
Violet nodded. She knew exactly what I was talking about. I took a glance at Oliver, he gave me a reassuring smile as he listened in. I wasn’t about to break his sad news to Violet. It was easier simply assuming everyone you ever knew and loved were dead already.
“It’s funny I should run into you,” Violet said, pushing away the sadness.
“Why’s that?”
“Because I saw your sister a few days ago.”
I felt like I was falling, the instant reaction I normally experienced when someone mentioned Faith. My heart picked up a beat, racing into the unknown.
I hadn’t seen my sister for more months than I wanted to think about. I had stupidly let her out of my sight and she disappeared into the unknown. I looked for her in every face I passed in the hopes she was still alive.
I swallowed down the emotions causing a lump in my throat. “You saw her a few days ago?”
“Yeah.” She studied my face while I tried to process the information. “You haven’t seen her?”
I shook my head because it was easier than trying to find the appropriate words. Oliver was silent beside me, his arms crossed over his chest. He didn’t like it when I got my hopes up. The crash that would surely follow it was too great to bear.
“I lost her,” I confessed. “Where did you see her? Tell me exactly, I need to know.”
Violet took my hands in her own. They were just as cold as mine were. Glo
ves were a luxury neither of us had. “She was down by Bay Street. I think she lives in the green building there. You know the one, it used to be the Department of Transport.”
I did know that building. It was only half a dozen blocks from where we were currently standing. “Did you speak with her? Did she say anything?”
“No, sorry, I didn’t. She was with some other people, I didn’t think she’d appreciate someone approaching her. You know what it’s like now.” Violet’s forehead was creased with a dozen wrinkles as she scrunched up her nose.
I leaned in for another hug. “Thanks, Vi. Seriously, it is exactly what I need to hear right now. Are you okay? Do you need anything?”
She gave me a weary nod. “I’ve got everything I need. Do you?”
“I’m fine. But I have to go, I have to find Faith.”
Violet gave me a kiss on the cheek, just like she would do when we’d see each other at school every day. “Go then. I hope you find her. Say hello from me.”
As much as I didn’t want to leave my friend, if there was a chance Faith was near, I had to search for her. All I knew was that if I found her again, I would never let her out of my sight. Not for anything in the world.
I took off at a run. Not even the slippery roads could slow me down. All that mattered was getting to the green building in Bay Street and finding my little sister.
It didn’t take long for Oliver to start running beside me. “Think about this, Ev. You don’t know if it’s her.”
“I don’t know if it isn’t either,” I replied. Talking slowed me down, I didn’t want to engage in a conversation. I was too malnourished to do both successfully and I needed to do one more than the other.
“Slow down. You’re going to fall over.”
I ran faster.
The blocks passed by in a blur. All I wanted to see was the green building and the crooked street sign that declared it to be Bay Street. Anything else was superfluous.
It was a relief to see the sky muted by the color green. I ran into the building without thinking. Normally I would have staked it out first, the walls could hide too many desperate kids willing to do anything to protect themselves and their meager possessions.
I Am Never Alone Page 8
