Catch of the Day

by Whitney Lyles

  “What are they doing here? Prospecting for gold?” Tessa’s southern deb accent had a way of making everything she said sound charming.

  “I think the flyers they posted said something about working on the gas main.”

  Desperate to get out of the corset and stockings, Lissy hurried up the steps, unlocked the door and walked into refreshing coolness—and the delicious garlicky smell of Will’s lasagna.

  “I’ve always said the person who invented air conditioning should get the Nobel prize,” Tessa said. “Mmm, what’s that I smell?”

  “Will’s lasagna.” So that had been his plan. A little homemade lasagna, probably some red wine and maybe some Italian ice. She’d have been toast. She set her briefcase aside. “Make yourself at home in the living room. What can I get you to drink?”

  “Southern sweet tea if you’ve got it. Yankee iced tea if you don’t.”

  “How about Yankee tea with lots of sugar in it?”

  “Sounds lovely.” Tessa wandered off to the living room.

  Lissy went into the kitchen expecting to find Will slaving over the stove. Instead she found a sink full of dishes. Then she saw the purple orchids. They sat on the table in a crystal vase. Tucked among the glossy green leaves was a card that read only, “For my bride.”

  She was admiring the delicate shading of the flower petals when she heard Will striding down the hallway.

  “Hey, Lissy, have you seen my—?”

  She stepped out of the kitchen to find him standing just inside the living room, stark naked, a towel in hand, looking utterly astonished.

  Beyond him, Tessa sat on the couch, her face pink, her eyes wide, her gaze gliding down his body to rest on his groin. She cleared her throat delicately, lifted her chin. “Yes, I believe she has seen it. And now so have I.”

  Will knew he had it coming.

  Lissy was on him the moment he got back from walking Tessa to her car. She looked genuinely angry. “You did that on purpose!”

  “How could I when I had no idea Tessa was coming over?”

  She rolled her eyes at him, put a hand on her hip. “That’s not what I mean, and you know it! You came out here naked, not knowing she was here, hoping to turn me on.”

  He gave her his most charming grin. “Did it work?”

  She glared at him, but her cheeks turned pink. “No, it didn’t work! It’s not like I haven’t see it all before, you know.”

  He pulled her against him, nuzzled her cheek. “Then why are you blushing?”

  She pushed him away. “I’m not blushing! I’m furious! You’ve been doing this all week—trying to get me so turned on that I come begging. You even sabotaged my vibrator!”

  He grabbed her wrist, pressed it against his lips. “And what about you, sugar, teasing me with T and A? You’ve slathered so much cream on that delicious ass of yours I’m surprised there isn’t an oil slick on your chair at work!”

  Her head dropped and she sank against him. “Oh, Will, this - isn’t how the bet was supposed to work. It was supposed to make things romantic, not pit us against one another.”

  He didn’t say what he thought the bet was really about because she was already upset and because he didn’t want to think about her mother. “We could just absolve one another and end the stupid bet.”

  She pulled back from him. “You think romance is stupid?”

  “That’s not what I said!”

  “Kind of sounded like it to me. Maybe it’s all just about sex for you.”

  Now he was feeling angry. “You know that’s not true.”

  “Good night, Will.” She brushed past him and disappeared into the bathroom.

  He stared after her, wondering how she had managed to twist his words so thoroughly.

  Women!

  They made up over breakfast—sort of.

  Will apologized for accidentally walking into the living room naked in front of Tessa when he didn’t have the slightest clue she was there and for wanting so much to make love to Lissy. Lissy said she was sorry for overreacting to his apparent lack of interest in romance, something that really any woman would find irritating. Then, pretending that everything was fine, they got to work.

  Lissy packed things they wouldn’t need until after their honeymoon—wedding gifts, financial records, winter clothes, camping gear, Will’s football memorabilia—cranking En Vogue on the stereo and singing along to “My Lovin’ (You’re Never Gonna Get It).”

  Will seemed not to notice her or her pointed choice of music, hoisting heavy boxes onto his shoulders, carrying them outside and through the Cone Zone to his pickup and driving them to the new house without a word. But the third time she played the same song, he put on his iPod.

  He was ignoring her.

  She set about ignoring him, too.

  They worked without speaking through the afternoon, taking a quick break over chicken curry and Thai iced teas, then showering alone, each getting ready for the night ahead. Holly was coming at seven to take Lissy to a private suite at the Adam’s Mark for her bridal shower/bachelorette party, while Devon was sending a limo to pick up Will and convey him and his groomsmen to certain unnamed establishments on East Colfax.

  It was only after Will had left, looking like pure sex in black jeans and a silky black T-shirt, that it hit her: She’d sent the man she loved off to spend the evening with sexy strippers angry and without so much as a kiss.

  Lissy made it through the chocolate buffet, the gifts and at least ten glasses of champagne acting as if she were having the time of her life. She didn’t want to ruin the evening for anyone else. They’d all gone out of their way to make the night special for her, even arranging for a trio of male strippers, whose pelvic gyrations, bare butts and flexing muscles sent some of the women—Holly among them—into estrogen meltdown and resulted in more than a few phone numbers being tucked delicately into bulging thongs along with dollar bills.

  It was only after most of the guests had gone that Lissy found herself unable to hide her feelings. No sooner had Tessa asked her what was wrong, than Lissy found herself in tears.

  She told them everything: how Will had tried to seduce her, how she’d tried to seduce him back, how she’d found herself on the brink of giving in and had asked Tessa to come home with her, how Will had walked into the living room, naked, right in front of Tessa, how they’d gotten into a fight and had ignored each other all day.

  “And n-now he’s watching b-beautiful women shake their h-hooters, and I didn’t even k-kiss him good-bye!” Lissy blew her nose, sniffed, grabbed another tissue from the box Kara had handed her.

  For a moment no one said anything.

  Then Holly spoke. “You saw him totally naked, Tess? Is he as hot as he seems?”

  “Holly!” Kara gave a disgusted snort and began to pack Lissy’s gifts in bags. “Your one-track mind gets a little old sometimes.”

  But Sophie and Holly were staring at Tessa, clearly waiting for an answer.

  Sophie cleared her throat. “Well, Tess, is he?”

  Tessa nodded. “Oh, my gentle Jesus! Yeah.”

  Lissy had started to cry again when she felt Kara sit down beside her.

  “You know what I think these tears are, Lissy?” Kara slipped a comforting arm around her shoulder. “Champagne, sexual frustration and pre-wedding jitters.”

  “R-really?”

  “Yeah. Now let’s get you home.”

  “I love her so much. She’s smart, and she’s funny, and, God, she’s so damn sexy. And she smells good and tastes good. I could taste her all day, everywhere. I really could.” Will took another sip of Scotch. “And I love her—more than anything. I love just being with her—holding her hand, talking, watching TV or whatever. I - could listen to her voice forever.”

  The woman he was talking to gave him an indulgent smile. “It sounds like you’re really in love with her.”

  He nodded. “I love her so much sometimes it scares me. If Lissy were to leave me . . .”

  The
woman laughed. “That’s not going to happen, honey. Take my word for it.”

  It was then Will noticed the woman wasn’t wearing . . . much of anything. “Did you lose your shirt somewhere? Are you cold? Here, you can have mine.”

  He started to pull his shirt over his head; then he heard Devon’s voice and felt strong arms yanking him to his feet. “Okay, man, time to go. On your feet. That’s the way.”

  “Devon, there’s a naked woman over there. I think we should help her.”

  “It’s your bachelor party, Will, and she’s a stripper.”

  The woman’s voice came from behind them, a mix of laughter and cigarettes. “A stripper who’s apparently losing her touch. Good night, boys. And thanks.”

  A stripper? His bachelor party. Loud music. An endless stream of strip bars and single malt. “I’m drunk off my ass, aren’t I?”

  “Oh, yeah. Watch your step. Nick, catch the door.”

  The floor wobbled. His stomach lurched. “Devon, I want to see Lissy.”

  “I know.”

  Lissy woke, her head pounding, her mouth full of sand. She heard someone moaning, realized it was she.

  “Here, sugar.”

  She forced her eyes open, saw Will sitting on the edge of their bed beside her in his boxers, a glass of water and what she hoped were aspirin in his hand, though arsenic would have been fine, too. She vaguely remembered getting into bed with him, both of them too drunk to do more than fall asleep. She sat up with a groan, took the tablets, popped them into her mouth, then drank.

  The water felt like salvation. She drained every drop and fell back on her pillow, in agony. “How come you’re on your feet? You were in lots worse shape than I was.”

  “Practice. Some rumors about football players are true.”

  The next time she awoke, her face was pressed into Will’s chest, his arms wrapped around her. She might have enjoyed being close to him had the throbbing in her head not been so terrible. It was pounding so hard, she could hear it.

  Pounding. Ringing. More pounding.

  Someone was at the door.

  Will groaned. “Christ!”

  Because he’d brought her water, she forced herself out of bed and into her robe, then stumbled through the darkened condo - toward the brain-piercing noise coming from the front door. She glanced through the peephole, felt her stomach hit the floor.

  More impatient pounding.

  Reluctantly, she slid back the bolt and opened the door.

  “Really, Melisande, did you have to keep me waiting?”

  “Mother.”

  “We should set her up in a hotel.” Will ran the comb through his wet hair, his temper only slightly worse than his hangover. “It’s not like she warned us she was coming.”

  “But what if she really has accepted our marriage and just wants to get to know you?”

  He heard the hope in Lissy’s voice, and anger with Christa Charteris swirled black in his gut. He knew she hadn’t changed her mind about the marriage and suspected she’d come to make trouble. But he wouldn’t be able to explain his hostility toward her without also letting Lissy know the woman had tried to bribe him, and he didn’t want to hurt Lissy.

  “Then I guess she can stay in the guest room.” He set the comb aside, pulled Lissy into his arms and kissed her forehead. “If she hurts you or tries to interfere with the wedding, I’ll stuff her and her designer luggage into a cab bound for the airport. I mean that, Lissy.”

  “Don’t worry, Will. I can handle my mother.”

  Will worried, but then something occurred to him. If Mrs. Charteris slept in the guest room, Lissy would have no choice but to crawl back in bed with him.

  Lissy shut the door behind her, the bedroom now a refuge. She undressed, put on the old T-shirt she’d been sleeping in and hung her clothes in the closet. Then she crawled into bed and tried to relax, listening to the rumble of approaching thunder.

  A part of her wished she’d followed Will’s suggestion and banished her mother to a hotel. Her mother had been with them for four days, and Lissy’s patience was shredded. Though her mother - hadn’t done anything unforgivably horrid and had even managed to be pleasant at times, she hadn’t been easy to have around.

  The first thing she’d done was to insist upon meeting with the wedding planner. When Lissy had assured her everything was in good hands and declined even to give her the phone number, she’d acted insulted—as if being the mother of the bride meant something after six months of trying to get the bride to call off the wedding. Then she’d watched with a knowing look on her face while Lissy had changed the sheets on the bed in the guest room.

  “Sleeping apart already, I see.”

  “It’s not what you think, Mother. Will and I are simply abstaining from sex until after the wedding in order to make things a bit more traditional and romantic.”

  Her mother hadn’t said a word, but the look on her face hadn’t changed.

  After work on Monday, they’d taken her to their favorite seafood place, where they’d had a good enough time. Her mother had asked Will polite questions about his job at the paper and what it was like to do live television. Though she’d complained about her salmon and the service, she’d also complimented Will’s choice of wine. But when they’d taken her for a stroll down the 16th Street Mall, she’d turned up her nose at everything from the street performers to the store displays. By the time they’d gotten home, Lissy felt ready to scream.

  On Tuesday, her mother had taken the liberty of arranging a lunch for herself and Lissy at an exclusive restaurant near the federal court building, ignoring Lissy’s desire to share her lunch break with Will as well. Then she’d proceeded to name every quality about Will she liked and every quality she didn’t like. He was well-mannered. He was intelligent. He was articulate. He was good-looking—too good-looking. He was arrogant. He had no family. He’d grown up grasping for money. He didn’t even know who his father was.

  Lissy had cut her off by standing and dropping a twenty on the table. “You’re forgetting the thing you hate most about him, Mother. I love him.”

  Then she’d walked out of the restaurant, fighting tears, leaving her mother to take a cab.

  Today, Lissy had avoided her mother by pleading a busy day at work. It wasn’t entirely untrue. This was her last day at the paper before leaving for three weeks of vacation, and she’d needed to make certain the fall fashion special was organized and moving forward before she walked out the door: cover design, photo shoots, articles. She and Will had enjoyed their only real time alone together since Sunday over a couple of Chicago-style hot dogs they’d bought for lunch from a vendor on the street. Being with Will for those few minutes—just sitting beside him—had been heaven.

  Will had worked late taping a special Broncos team camp wrap-up and still wasn’t home. She and her mother had spent an uncomfortable evening in front of the television. Lissy had tried to enjoy Will’s segment, while her mother had whined about every aspect of football and sports she found disgusting. When her complaining had interrupted Will, Lissy had snapped and asked her to be quiet or leave the room. Her mother had sulked off and gone to bed early, leaving Lissy with her anger and guilt.

  Through the closed curtains came a flash of blue light, followed by a peal of thunder.

  Only three days.

  The thought bolstered her. Tomorrow, she and her bridesmaids were spending the day at a downtown spa. Friday afternoon was the rehearsal, followed by the rehearsal dinner. Saturday morning she would become Will’s wife, and they would leave for two weeks in France. Then all of this—the bet, Tessa seeing Will naked, her mother—would be far behind them.

  Lissy closed her eyes and tried to sleep, listening as the bluster of wind and thunder turned at last to rain.

  Will hurried through the downpour, up the steps of the darkened condo, unlocked the door and let himself in. He’d spent more time at the station than he’d intended and wasn’t surprised to find Lissy and her mother already in
bed. At least he wouldn’t have to face his soon-to-be mother-in-law.

  The woman spread poison every time she opened her mouth. She hated him—that much was clear. She rarely made eye contact with him, and when she did, her eyes were full of rage and bitterness. He knew she’d been young when she’d married Lissy’s father, and that she’d desired the bank account more than the man. He knew, too, that her husband had been unfaithful almost from the start and that she had answered in kind, avenging infidelity with infidelity until she was worn and hollow. He’d have felt sorry for her if her venom hadn’t been so harmful to Lissy and aimed at their marriage.

  He set his briefcase aside and slipped out of his shoes, and then checked the mail before heading off to the bathroom to brush his teeth and get ready for bed. He found Lissy lying in the dark, still awake. He slipped into bed beside her, made room for her to snuggle up against his chest, pulled her close.

  “What are you still doing awake, sugar?” He thought he knew.

  For a moment she was quiet. “My mom and I got into a bit of a tiff.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?” He could feel the tension in her body.

  “No. I want you to kiss me.”

  He traced the fullness of her lower lip with his thumb. “Well, okay, but when you kiss and make up, aren’t you supposed to kiss the person you argued with?”

  She gaped at him for a moment, then burst into giggles, burying her face in his chest to mute the sound. “Oh, Will, you always make me laugh!”

  “No, sugar. Sometimes I make you scream.” He ducked down, took her mouth with his.

  He kept the kiss light, more about lips than tongues, comfort than lust. The bet was still in full force, and though going twelve days without sex had left him as randy as a frat boy, her mother’s presence had left no doubt in Will’s mind that there was more at stake for Lissy in this little wager of theirs than which one of them caved first. She was trying to prove something to herself about him, about their relationship. He didn’t want to let her down.