Circle of Friends: Love, Lust & Destruction

by Rain, Renee

  They planned a June wedding. It was what Tearny had always dreamed of and the weather was perfect for an outdoors event. They had a small ceremony in the courtyard of one of the few five star hotels in the area. Their families both lived quite a distance, so only his mother and father attended and her mother and uncle attended with a small group of friends from school and work. Everyone socialized and got along well during the ceremony and reception which were both held in one of the banquet rooms at the hotel.

  When they retired to the bridal suite after the reception had come to an end, Keith surprised her with tickets for a trip to Barbados. She thought they were simply taking a trip to Miami since it was one place that she always wanted to go and this is where she had told all of their guests they were going. “Can we afford this baby?” She asked as she felt her champagne buzz slipping away.

  “Yes, yes, yes. My mom and dad gave us this as a gift.” He had a relaxed tone as he began to undress. “Okay, well I’ll be on you like a tick on a dog because I read about women being kidnapped and sold as sex slaves down there.” She realized she was feeling quite sober as she turned her back towards him for assistance with unzipping her gown. He unzipped her and began kissing her neck and shoulders. “Sex slave, no baby, if I let you get kidnapped, who’s going to be my sex slave?” She loved the scent of his cologne and the feeling of his breath against her skin. She turned around to kiss him as her gown fell to the floor. The thought of him referring to her as his sex slave had aroused her and she let him know by pushing him towards the bed. For the first time, she heard him moan as she held her position on top of him bucking back and forth until he was satisfied.

  The next morning both families met in the hotel’s restaurant for breakfast. They sat and talked about the news, fashion and of course what the couple’s next steps would be. They wanted to know about children. Keith’s family didn’t know that she may not able to have children. Keith cut the interrogation short by letting them know that they planned to enjoy each other for a few years before they started thinking about children. He kissed his wife on the cheek and asked her if she was okay. She nodded her head and smiled, but Keith knew that this was a touchy subject for her and didn’t want her to become upset with his seemingly insensitive family. Once everyone had finished eating, hugs and kisses were exchanged and their families prepared to head back to their homes.

  The newlywed headed back to their apartment to pack for a week in the islands. The flight left out at 7pm and they had to be on time. Missing it would ruin the connection in Miami and delay the trip by at least a day. She packed ten outfits for a five day trip. She wasn’t sure about the types of venues they would attend, so she wanted to be ready for anything.

  Flights were delayed due to severe rain so they walked around the airport stopping in gift shops. After an hour, they found themselves sitting in an airport bar and grill having drinks and eating fries. Keith had had two drinks and was ordering a third while Tearny was still sipping on her first. “You are beautiful.” He gestured for her to come closer to him. She got up to walk around to his side of the table. She thought he wanted her to sit next to him. “No baby, just stand right there for me, just for a minute.” He was smiling as he told her that he just wanted to look at his beautiful wife. The waitress sat his third drink on the table and walked away as he pulled the bottom of Tearny’s top down as if to straighten it out for her. He took a sip of his drink and asked her to sit down.

  “No baby,” he stopped her as she was getting ready to sit in the chair next to him. “Sit right here on daddy’s lap.” He patted his thigh. Tearny laughed in embarrassment and kissed him while telling him that she was not going to do that. She then reminded him that they were in public and she had on a very short skirt. “So are you ashamed of me in public?” He looked her in the eyes and she sensed that he was getting upset. “Keith, do you hear yourself?” She was getting irritated as she sat in the chair next to him. She moved the chair close to him she that she could talk to him without others hearing. “Baby, we are in the airport.” She looked around to make sure the customers on the other side and the staff didn’t hear her. “I have never been ashamed of you and you sound like a fool.” She whispered in the sharpest tone he had ever heard from her mouth. He leaned over and kissed her. “I know baby, I know. I’m just tripping right now and you know how liquor gets me.”

  He placed his hand on her thigh and laughed as he whispered that he wish she would have worn something less sexy. She felt his hand trying to slide further up her thigh and she placed her hand on top to stop him. He began to squeeze her thigh to the point of pain. She let go of his hand and bit her bottom lip in an effort to not cause a scene.

  “Look, we are all the way back here. No one’s paying any attention to us.” He took another sip of his drink and moved his hand further up. “Just slide to the edge and let me feel it. That’s all I want. Just one feel of it”. Hesitantly, she scooted forward until her butt was to the edge of the chair and opened her legs so that he could feel her one time. She couldn’t blink for fear that a tear would drop from her eyes. She was so upset that he would want to do this in public. She felt his thumb begin to go in and out of her. “You’re awfully damned wet for someone who doesn’t want it in public,” he whispered. He pulled his hand away, playfully slapped her outer thigh and wiped his hand off on a napkin. She crossed her legs tightly and looked around as she swallowed the remainder of her drink as quick as she could. The announcement of their flight signaled Keith to pay the tab and they headed out.

  Tearny was silent during the flight to Miami and the connector to Barbados. She started wondering if she made a mistake in marrying this man. Keith fell asleep just long enough to complain of a headache because it was a very short flight from Miami to the islands. They arrived and took a taxi to the resort they were staying at. The hotel was beautiful. It sat on the beach and was everything she thought it would be.

  She took her shoes off as soon as they entered the room. She turned to kiss her husband when suddenly- he smacked her across the face. He yelled at her for allowing him to finger her in the airport. When she backed away from him, he walked closer. “Is that what you like? You like people watching you?” As he raised his hand to hit her again he saw her mouth bleeding and the tears in her eyes.

  “Baby what’s wrong with you?” She was scared and saw that she had literally backed herself into a corner. “You begged me do it. You wanted it.” Her eyes darted around the room looking for an escape. “You..” Before she could finish her sentence, he grabbed her and pushed her back onto the bed.

  She felt like time was standing still. In all the years they had been together, he had never hit her. His hand was still on top of her chest and she could hear him talking with the stench of alcohol on his breath. The words initially sounded muffled. He was obviously still intoxicated.

  “Baby I’m just tense. I need to get a little love and it will be alright.” He started kissing her neck and began to tug at her panties. The last thing she wanted at this time was to be touched by him, but she didn’t want to fight. He slid her panties to the side instead of taking them off. She felt the penetration of his swollen penis and could not believe that he was so aroused. The strokes became painful. She felt that she was getting dry and thought that something was being ripped on her insides. She turned her head to the side and quietly let her tears roll as she listened to him moaning as if they were making love. Her mind drifted to that awful day in the woods when she was a child. Keith knew that she had been raped before and she could not understand how he could do this to her. Since the first time they became intimate, she had never denied him. There was never a reason for him to be forceful with her.

  She was quickly brought out of her daydream with a thump to her cheek. “Answer me when I’m talking to you.” Keith was now angry because he had been talking to her and she was so far into her trance that she didn’t realize he had ejaculated and withdrew. He laughed as he kissed her ear. “Did that feel goo
d to you?” She was convinced that he was sick, possibly possessed. Her mind began racing, looking for an answer to the sick question he had asked. The fact was, she did not enjoy it and was ready to return home. If she said no, would he beat her again? If she said yes, would he think that she truly enjoyed being mistreated and repeat his act in the future? Frozen with fear, she remained silent.

  He looked at her tear soaked face and stroked the back of his hand across her cheek. He kissed her busted lip and whispered to her that he loved her. A whimpering “why” was whispered from her lips. “Why do you say that you love me and hurt me like this?” She began coughing as the tears flowed even more. She fixed her eyes on his and waited for an answer. He looked at her with a blank expression as if he didn’t understand the question. He rolled to the side of her and placed his hand on her trembling stomach. His eyes scanned her up and down. “For better or for worse, until death do us part,” he whispered. He rolled onto his stomach, placed his arm around her waist, and said nothing more. She laid still for what seemed to be hours. Tears were flowing, pain was increasing in her pelvic area and her heart was dissolving. She didn’t know the man who was lying with his arm around her. She was miles from home and all she wanted was to be away from him.

  Sometime during the night, she finally cried herself to sleep. She woke up with the sun shining in her eyes. She laid still just listening and looking around. She was afraid to sit up for fear that the monster she recently married would attack her verbally or physically. She heard a noise coming from the other side of the room and instinctively turned to see what it was. Keith was at the table setting it up with breakfast items. “Good morning,” he said when he realized she was awake.

  She began to sit up and paused as she started thinking that she was in the middle of a weird nightmare. He smiled and spoke pleasantly as if he had not beaten and forces sex on her mere hours ago. “Morning,” she replied. She felt no need to use the word good. She sat on the edge of the bed for a moment before heading to the bathroom.

  While standing at the sink, she realized she was not in the middle of a dream. Her face was swollen on one side, her lip had dried blood and was swollen as well. It stung when she washed her face. As she turned to look at her sides, she saw a large bruise on her left shoulder and scratches on both sides of her waist. She ran the water to make it warmer and cried as she washed her face. As she turned the water on in the shower, she thought of how a razor blade and hot shower could end it all. She felt trapped like an animal and when she stepped out of the shower; her capturer would be standing there waiting for her.

  “Tearny.” He started walking closer to her in a slow pace with a sad expression on his face. “I know that my telling you that I’m sorry will not take away the fact that I hurt you.” She turned around to look him in the face. She felt a rush of adrenaline that would not let her hold anything else in. “We just got married.” She spoke in a firm tone. “You are a liar. You lied to me. You lied to that preacher. You lied to our family. But above all,” she yelled, “YOU LIED TO GOD!” She looked around the bathroom. “Where is the honor in beating and raping me Keith? Can you tell me that?” She threw the wash cloth on the counter and walked passed him. “How can I honor when I want to slit my wrists and be done with this life already?” She sat on the bed wrapped in her towel and stared at him as he stood speechless in the bathroom doorway.

  “I just have to stop drinking.” He started scratching his head as if he were looking for an answer. “I’m cool, but sometimes it hits me the wrong way and I get crazy.” “Keith, that is not good enough”, she calmly stated. “A drunk’s action is his sober thought. It’s in you and the liquor just gives you the courage to do it.” She sat shaking her head. He sat next to her and tried to hold her hand, she pulled it away. “Don’t do that to me,” he begged as if his feelings were hurt. She stood up in front of him. “Then don’t do this to me!” She yelled while pointing to the bruises and swollen areas she now had.

  She walked over to the window. The view was beautiful. She had seen pictures of ocean scenes, but none could compare to actually seeing it in person. Her thoughts shifted from her husband to what seemed to be endless water. She stood listening to the waves softly crashing on the coastline and saw windsurfers off in the distance.

  “You want to take a walk out there?” Keith asked as he walked to the table to pour coffee. She responded, “Yea”. It was just enough to let him know that she had heard him, but that she wasn’t paying him much attention.

  He suggested that they have something to eat and then go to the beach. “I’m not really hungry. But I’ll drink some coffee while you eat.” She sat across from him but didn’t make eye contact. Some time had passed since he had ordered room service. He was pleased that it was still warm. As they sat, she looked at him intermittently. Her heart felt love for this man. She decided that it must have been some bad liquor at the airport bar that made him act the way he did. After all, they had been going out drinking together for years and he has never acted this way.

  The two walked to the beach and down the shoreline. After a few minutes they both took their sandals off. “I love the feeling of sand between my toes.” She spoke, but she continued to look straight ahead. Keith remained silent. “I’ve never been to the ocean or even to a real beach”. She quietly wiped the tears that were forming before they were able to run down her face. She wanted to forget about the previous night, but her heart was hurting. She continued talking in an effort to keep her mind off of him.“It’s funny how the waves look like soap suds when they crash into the sand. I read that the shorelines dissolve a little more each time the waves hit them. So maybe one day there won’t even be shorelines left.” This time she let the tears fall as she compared her heart with Keith to the water hitting the sand. Keith looked straight ahead. He knew she crying, but didn’t know how to fix what he had broken. He reached to hold her hand, she accepted and the two continued to walk through the sand.

  The remaining days were much better. The couple wined and dined as if the island was theirs alone. On their last full day at the resort, Keith surprised her with a gift certificate for a half a day at the spa. She indulged in the full body massage and special treatment while Keith opted to play golf. She enjoyed relaxing in a tub filled with mud. She was coated from the neck down, even though the attendant told her how soft it would make her face, she decided against it.

  While soaking, another guest came in and was placed in the mud tub next to her. They exchanged hellos and Tearny quickly turned to not look towards this woman as she thought about the now yellowing bruise on her face. The middle aged, red-headed Caucasian woman continued to talk to her despite her turning her head. She too was from the U.S., Louisiana to be exact. She shared that she was vacationing with her husband who decided to play golf.

  She asked the dreadful question. “Child, what in the world happened to you and that pretty face of yours?” Rubbing mud across her face, Tearny gave a delayed response that clearly showed she had to think of an answer. “Well”, she paused, “I was rushing to get my bag and lost my balance trying to run in high heels.” She gave an uncomfortable, short laugh and ended her statement saying, “although I love them, I really am no good trying to walk- let alone run with heels”. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes hoping that this lady would just stop talking to her.

  “Does your old man like oil water,” the lady continued talking. Tearny wanted her to mind her own business and stop talking to her. After all, she needed to relax in peace and quiet. “I’m sorry ma’am, what is oil water?” she sincerely asked. The lady informed her that she called liquor, oil water. “Yes, on occasions he does drink.” She was getting annoyed with this lady and the conversation. She began to get up to go rinse when the lady started talking to her in a matter of fact tone. “The oleander is my favorite flower. You keep on falling and bruising yourself all up- you might want to make it your favorite too. A little tea for his oil made from the root or petal and never aga
in will you feel your old man’s boot if you get clumsy and fall in those high heels.” The lady placed a cucumber over each eye and leaned back into the mud. Tearny had no idea as to what she was talking about and walked away. She dismissed this as the ramblings of one with early dementia.

  Keith was approached on the golf course by a man who was short, stout, dark brown skinned with thick curly hair. He looked to be in his 50’s and spoke with a heavy accent indicative of being from the islands. He asked Keith if he was from ‘The States’. He informed the man that he was from the U.S. and asked why he was concerned. “Well, you look like you could use a little female companionship.” His statement caused Keith to miss his swing. “No man, I’m good.” Keith shook his head and began laughing. He could not believe that he was approached by some kind of pimp. He couldn’t help but to think about what Tearny had told him she heard about the white slavery that went on in that area.

  By the time he got back to the room, Tearny was already waiting and had just run him a bubble bath in the oversized soaker tub. She greeted him with a kiss and led him to the tub. He asked if she would join him and she did just that. Pouring water over each other’s bodies and massaging each other’s shoulders were precursors to a romantic evening. They ordered room service instead of going to the restaurant. By midnight, the sheets were soaked with sweat from hours of intense and passionate love making. She didn’t feel pain, only pleasure mixed with bliss. She couldn’t see her bruises and during that time, they didn’t seem to exist.

  The next morning, as the sun was shining on her back, Tearny woke to find Keith laying in bed staring at her. He hadn’t said anything, he was just looking. “Good morning,” came from her mouth. “Good morning baby,” he said in a soft tone. “You were sleeping so peacefully,” he gave a small smile. She loved looking at his smile. His lips were so full and his jaw line was chiseled. But she had never known him to watch her sleep and this made her feel a little weird.