Benjamin

by Catherine Lievens

  “Michael,” Benjamin’s father said. “Go to your room.”

  Michael arched a brow. “I’m thirty-two.”

  “Michael,” his father repeated in a harsher voice.

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Benjamin isn’t your brother anymore.”

  Michael snorted. “Why, because you decided so? Sorry to tell you this, but you don’t decide who I want or don’t want in my life, Dad.”

  “You’re my son.”

  “Yeah, and so is Benjamin. Like I said, I’m thirty-two, so I’m old enough to make my own decision. I want to stay here and talk to Benjamin a bit longer, but don’t worry, I’ll go back to my room soon.” He grinned. “Gotta give them the time to mate, you know?”

  Benjamin’s father swallowed loud enough that even Lucas heard it. His face flushed, but Lucas thought it was probably in anger rather than embarrassment like it usually was for him.

  “Michael.”

  Michael rolled his eyes and finally got up. Lucas thought that no matter how much Michael thought he was the quiet one, he was more similar to his siblings than he thought. He turned to Benjamin, and Lucas expected him to kiss his cheek like Rachel had, but instead he smiled. Something seemed to pass between the brothers, because Benjamin grinned back, looking happy even after what his father was trying to do.

  Michael waved. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he told Benjamin as he started walking toward the door. “Just try to keep it down, yeah? My room’s next door. I really don’t want to be woken up by your headboard slamming against the wall.”

  Lucas blushed, because—seriously?

  The flush on Benjamin’s father looked like it might rival Lucas’, and it deepened when Michael stopped next to Lucas, looked at his father, and kissed Lucas’ cheek.

  He left without saying another word, and Lucas relaxed. There would probably be no more talks about sex and mating, or at least he hoped so. He didn’t think he’d be able to survive it if Benjamin’s father decided to talk about that.

  “Did you need anything else, Dad?” Benjamin asked.

  His father looked from him to Lucas, then back to him. “Are you mated yet?”

  “No.”

  “Are you going to mate?”

  Benjamin looked at Lucas, and his smile was soft and inviting. “Yeah.”

  Benjamin’s father narrowed his eyes. “You shouldn’t.”

  Benjamin rolled his eyes. “Why? Because he’s a guy? Because he’s human? Because he’s not a fox shifter?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, you were the one to decide I wasn’t your son anymore, so I really don’t see how this is any of your business.”

  “You’re the eldest.”

  “And I should give you grandchildren. Really, Dad? You can’t still be this antiquated. The world is changing, even the shifter one. Besides, you don’t seem to mind Dominic.”

  “It’s different.”

  “Because he can protect you and help you and I can’t? Of course it’s different, but trust me, he’s just as gay as I am. Of course, I’m not sure he bottoms, but I do know he’d let Ani fuck him if Ani wanted to.”

  Lucas groaned and wished he were anywhere but there. He wasn’t about to leave, though, not when Benjamin might need him. He seemed to have the situation under control, but with the way he was provoking his father, Lucas wasn’t sure it’d last.

  Benjamin’s father took a step forward, but Lucas was there, reaching out and grabbing his arm to stop him. His head snapped toward Lucas, and he looked furious, but for once, Lucas straightened to his full height and stared him down.

  People wouldn’t believe he’d never hurt a fly, not with his body, and it served him well right now.

  “Nothing you can say will stop me from doing this, Dad,” Benjamin said. “You know how it is. Mom’s your mate. Could you have stayed away from her? Would you have wanted to? Because I don’t. Lucas is it for me, and I won’t let you or anyone else step between us.”

  Benjamin’s father wrenched his arm away, and Lucas let him go. “I won’t let you see your siblings anymore.”

  Benjamin’s face tightened, but he nodded. “I know. I didn’t expect anything else, and I’ll hate not being able to see or talk to Rachel for years, but I’ll survive, and once she’s old enough, we’ll get back together.”

  Benjamin’s father opened his mouth to protest, but there wasn’t much he could say to that. He could forbid Rachel to see Benjamin until she was eighteen, but that was all. If Rachel was ready to leave her parents behind so she could have a relationship with her brother once she was older, that would be her choice.

  “And I’m pretty sure Michael made his decision very clear just now,” Benjamin added, and Lucas thought the pride might have just gained a member. He might not know Michael, but it was obvious he wasn’t going anywhere once his parents left.

  Benjamin’s father started to move forward again, but he stopped and looked at Lucas. Lucas stared him down, and he wasn’t surprised when the man turned around and stomped to the door. It was still open, and he walked through it.

  Lucas rolled his eyes and went to close it, and he and Benjamin were finally alone again. He looked at Benjamin, still on the bed, and arched a brow. “You’re going to be the death of me, you and your siblings.”

  “Probably, but do you really mind?”

  Lucas smiled. “No. So, what were you saying about mating?”

  * * * *

  Benjamin licked his lips and stared at Lucas. “What do you mean?”

  “You told your father we were going to mate.”

  “Well, yeah. Sooner or later.”

  “Why not now?”

  Benjamin frowned. “You said you wanted to date, that this was going too fast for you.” Benjamin knew they’d had that conversation. He might have been in pain and maybe under the influence of painkillers, but he remembered it.

  “That’s right.”

  “I don’t get it.”

  Lucas strode closer to the bed and sat on the edge of it, in the space Michael had occupied earlier. It meant Benjamin couldn’t see his face, so he grabbed one of Lucas’ shoulders and pulled until Lucas turned sideways and folded one leg on the bed.

  “I don’t get it,” Benjamin repeated, even though he wasn’t sure about it anymore. He didn’t want to let himself hope, though.

  Lucas seemed to need a moment to gather his thoughts, and Benjamin pressed his lips together to avoid pressing even more. It was something Lucas did often, and Benjamin liked it. They were quite the opposite in that, because Benjamin was much more impulsive, no matter what everyone around the mansion thought.

  “Mating is like getting married,” Lucas finally said.

  “In a way. It’s more than that, though, because there’s no divorce when it comes to mating. You could probably walk away from me, but I’m stuck with you.”

  Lucas arched a brow. “You’re stuck with me? That sounds so flattering, Ben.”

  Benjamin grimaced. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it in a bad way.”

  “I know.”

  “I just meant that if we mate, I’ll never be able to leave you, and if you do, well—it’d take me years to get over it, if I even managed to get over it in the first place.”

  “But I’m human.”

  “Yeah.”

  “What does it change?”

  “Well, humans don’t feel the bond as strongly as we do. That’s why you could walk away. You’d probably still feel it for a while, but it would fade.”

  “Would it fade for you too?”

  “A bit, but more than the bond itself, it would be my fox who wouldn’t let me get over you.”

  “I didn’t know foxes mated for life.”

  Benjamin smiled. “Real foxes don’t, or at least I don’t think so. Foxes shifters aren’t only foxes. It’s, well, complicated I guess. Shifters all have a soul mate out there, but some of them die, or reject their mat
e. Being without your mate isn’t impossible, and it’s not impossible to be with someone else after it happens, but there’s a difference between having your mate die and your mate walk away.”

  Lucas scrunched his nose, and it was adorable, even on a six-foot-eight man. “Isn’t talking about breaking up before we even get together bad luck or something?”

  “I think it’s just being cautious. I’d like to think you’ll be completely in love with me in no time and that you’ll never want to leave me, but I know it’s not realistic.”

  Lucas looked at him, his gaze intense. “Who said I’m not already completely in love with you?”

  Benjamin snorted. “Why would you be? I’ve spent most of the time since we met each other sleeping or in pain. That doesn’t seem like a good basis for falling in love.”

  “Maybe not, but being stubborn, impulsive, loving and smart are.”

  Benjamin blinked. “What are you saying?”

  Lucas shrugged and his cheeks flushed. “Just that I like what I know of you.”

  “Nope, I’m not buying this. You were talking about being in love.”

  “It’s... too soon to be in love, no matter how much I like you.”

  “Bullshit. It’s never too soon to be in love. No one can tell you that. You know what you feel, not anyone else.” Benjamin knew it was different for humans. He might have lived with shifters for his entire life, but he had internet and a TV. Love at first sight was ridiculed most of the time, or treated as something that wouldn’t last. It might be true for humans, although Benjamin didn’t really believe that, but it definitely wasn’t for shifters and their mates, no matter what the mate was.

  “You’re cute when you’re angry.”

  “Shut up. Look, I’m just saying that you know better than anyone else what you’re feeling and what you want. That’s it. Don’t let anyone tell you this can’t last, because it can, and I’m going to make sure of it.”

  Lucas’ lips twitched in an almost smile. “How are you going to do that?”

  “I’m not an idiot. I know mating doesn’t magically solve all the couple problems we might have. I know it’s going to take compromises and work for both of us to be happy, and I’m ready to do that.”

  “So maybe we should try to solve some of those problems before they arise.”

  Benjamin cocked his head. “Like what?”

  “Like where we’ll live.”

  “At the ranch.”

  Lucas blinked. “Really?”

  “Of course? Why, you want to move here?”

  “No. I can’t move. The ranch is my life.”

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  “I didn’t think you’d give in so easily.”

  “Look, I love living here, and my job is here, but that’s all. I have a few friends, the people are nice, but I wouldn’t mind being alone more, and the ranch isn’t that far away. I can drive here, or I can have a Nix shimmer me to work in the morning. It’s not like I have fixed hours anyway.”

  Lucas smiled. “Books don’t mind if you’re a little late.”

  “Exactly. And I can do a lot from my computer, while you can’t move your horses and your business. Did you have any other problem you wanted to talk about?”

  Lucas looked a bit lost, and Benjamin gave him time to think. He pressed his lips together when Lucas shook his head. “I actually thought this was going to be the main problem. I know you agreed to move to the ranch when you were injured, but I didn’t think it would be a definite decision.”

  “Well, it is.”

  “Okay.”

  “I can move once my family leaves, if that’s fine with you. You can go back right away if you want, of course.”

  “I don’t know. Heath and Jayden seem to have everything under control.”

  Benjamin smiled. “Take this as a vacation, then.”

  “It’s already been a week.”

  “So? You said they have everything under control.”

  “Doesn’t mean I don’t want to check, just in case.”

  “Then go. You can stay there or come back if you want.”

  Lucas slowly nodded and reached out. Benjamin wasn’t sure for what, but he moved his hand closer, just in case, and he smiled back when Lucas grinned and took it. “I want to spend time with you,” Lucas said.

  “I want that too.”

  “I guess I could go, check on the horses and the house, then come back. You said I could maybe ask a Nix so I don’t have to drive there?”

  “Sure. I can think of at least five Nix who’d help you.”

  “Good. I’ll take that opportunity, then. But in the meantime... ”

  Benjamin swallowed, because Lucas’ eyes were suddenly heavy with promises, and Benjamin wasn’t sure how to interpret them. “In the meantime?”

  “We talked about mating and agreed to maybe wait a bit, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “We haven’t talked about sex.”

  “What is there to say about sex?”

  Lucas grinned, and the gentle giant impression suddenly vanished, leaving place to a very sexy man whom Benjamin was almost sure wanted to bone him right now. “Sex doesn’t imply mating.”

  Benjamin shook his head. “No.”

  “We can have sex without mating.”

  “Yes,” Benjamin said, conscious his voice was trembling just a bit. “We can also mate without having sex.”

  “Right. That’s not what we’re interested in right now, though.”

  “And what are you interested in?”

  Lucas raised Benjamin’s hand and pressed a kiss on the back of it. “Honestly? I’m interested in having you naked and on your back, with me between your legs.” He turned Benjamin’s hand and kissed the palm, right in the center. Benjamin was almost sure there’d been a hint of tongue, but he was feeling too flustered to be sure.

  The last thing he’d expected was for shy, tame Lucas to be talking dirty to him. He loved it.

  “I think I might be able to give you what you want.”

  * * * *

  Lucas smiled. “You might?”

  It was weird to see Benjamin flustered, but Lucas liked it. It had been a long time since he’d had the time to do this properly. He didn’t hook up often, and when he did, it was generally something fast and anonymous. He certainly didn’t talk dirty to any of his hook-ups.

  “Well, if you’re convincing... ”

  Lucas pulled on the hand he was still holding. Obviously surprised, Benjamin tumbled forward, landing face first in Lucas’ lap. That wasn’t exactly what Lucas had been aiming for, but it was easy to grab Benjamin’s waist and haul him up. He didn’t weigh a thing, not when Lucas was used to working with horses, cleaning their stalls and feeding them.

  Benjamin squealed, and Lucas seated him on his lap. He was sideways, but Lucas wanted to give him the possibility to move away if that was what he wanted. That, and it would have made both of them topple to the floor if he’d tried to get Benjamin to straddle him, since he was still sitting sideways on the bed.

  Lucas cupped Benjamin’s face with one hand while holding him in position with the other, and kissed him. Benjamin didn’t hesitate before kissing back, opening his mouth immediately, and pushing his tongue into Lucas’ mouth.

  When they separated, they were both breathing hard, and Benjamin’s pupils were blown. Lucas imagined his probably were too, and it made him smile smugly.

  “So, sex with no mating?” Benjamin said.

  “Yeah.” Lucas realized he hadn’t asked about what Jared had said, though, and when Benjamin leaned in to kiss him again, he put a hand on his chest to keep him away. “Wait, what did Jared say? I know you went to see him, but I didn’t have a chance to ask because your parents arrived. Are you sure you’re up for sex?”

  Benjamin rolled his eyes, but he smiled. “I’m as good as new, or at least as good as I’m going to be from now on.”

&nbs
p; “What do you mean?”

  “The scars.”

  Lucas shook his head and took his hand away. He grabbed the seam of Benjamin’s T-shirt and slowly pulled it up, keeping his focus on Benjamin’s face to make sure Benjamin was okay with it. They might have just decided they would have sex, but Lucas didn’t want to assume anything, including the fact that Benjamin might not want Lucas to see him naked or even only half-naked.

  Benjamin swallowed hard and bit on his lower lip, but he nodded, so Lucas moved faster. He pulled the T-shirt over Benjamin’s head, smiling when Benjamin emerged with his curls all over the place. Lucas wanted nothing more than to bury his fingers in the red mass and use the hold to guide Benjamin’s head, be it for kissing or something else, but he wanted Benjamin to know how sexy Lucas found him first.

  He looked down. He’d seen Benjamin naked more times than he could count already, but never this close, and never for anything more than stripping to shower or putting clothes on. It was different. It felt different, and Lucas knew Benjamin felt it too, because as soon as Lucas’ gaze stopped on the highest scar, he stiffened.

  Lucas tightened his hold on Benjamin’s waist and pressed the palm of his free hand over the scar just above Benjamin’s heart. Benjamin’s heart was beating like crazy. Lucas didn’t know whether it was from fear or anticipation, and it sped up when he thumbed the scar. It was still pink, but it was healed, and that made Lucas feel better about wanting to have sex.

  He leaned down, even though it was uncomfortable, and he kissed the scar. Benjamin shivered, and Lucas hunched even more, trying to get to Benjamin’s nipple.

  Benjamin laughed. “Maybe we should move,” he said in a husky voice.

  “Maybe,” Lucas answered, his lips still on Benjamin’s skin.

  “You’d be more comfortable.”

  Lucas kissed the scar again and got up, his arm securely around Benjamin’s waist. Benjamin squeaked, but Lucas was already putting him down on his back, stretched out on the bed.

  Lucas took advantage of having his hands free to unbutton his shirt, throw it on the chair by the wall, and take off his T-shirt. Benjamin was looking at him like he wanted to lick every inch of him, and Lucas had nothing to say against that. He had something else to do first, though.