Victory RUN: Collected Victory RUN 1, 2, 3

by Devon Hartford

  When Kellan sings, I’m blown away.

  “King of today

  Forever I pray

  Hero of sorrow

  Zero tomorrow”

  His rock voice is gritty, manly, dangerous, and powerful. I’m not surprised. It sums up everything I know about him. Amazing.

  He pours his heart into the mic as he plays the heavy riff on his guitar:

  “All of this will pass

  Youth won’t last

  Terror fills my head

  Choices made in dread.”

  The riff changes for the pre-chorus. The drummer does an amazing fill. He’s incredible.

  Kellan sings:

  “Addiction to gain

  Birth of our pain

  Then one day

  We give it away

  Oblivion

  A cold dark grave awaits”

  I’m struck by the maturity of Kellan’s lyrics. They’re not stupid “party all night and chase girls 24/7” hard rock fluff. I’m not surprised. Kellan never struck me as shallow.

  When he sings the chorus, the whole band harmonizes with him and they sound amazing:

  “Live it Uuuupppp!

  Yeah!

  Death ain’t catching me!

  Live it Uuuupppp!

  Laughing while I’m free!”

  After the chorus, Switchblade breaks into a guitar solo. Damn, she’s really good. I’m impressed, and that’s saying a lot.

  While she plays, Kellan leans his back against hers. A huge grin lights his face. Switchblade leans against him like they’ve been playing together for thirty years. They’re the perfect hard rock guitar duo.

  The whole time Switchblade solos, Kellan plays the aggressive rhythm riff that gives context to the intricate melody spinning out of Switchblade’s guitar.

  It sounds really amazing.

  Kellan watches Switchblade’s solo over her shoulder and smiles appreciatively. No wonder he started ignoring me.

  He found my replacement.

  And she even sings harmony with him.

  (never ever ever sing)

  I remember back to that lone night I spent at Kellan’s apartment. He told me enthusiastically about his musical vision, one that included my guitar skills and the possibility of me singing harmony vocals with him. The vision he described sounded exactly like what I’m seeing and hearing onstage right now.

  Was I stupid to say no to Kellan?

  His band is incredible.

  I remind myself I’ve only heard one song.

  But they play two more, and both songs are just as good as the first. I wish I wrote them. I’m totally jealous. That’s why I know Kellan’s band is really good. Because it hurts to hear him and his band sound so damn amazing.

  Without me.

  Liv nudges me, “YOUR FRIEND ROCKS!”

  Yes he does.

  And he sings.

  (singsingsing!!!)

  I have to go get some air.

  This is too much.

  Chapter 104

  VICTORY

  I lean against the front of The Dive Bomb while I listen to the muffled sounds of Kellan and his awesome band rocking the house.

  “Where’d you go?” Liv asks as she walks out the front door.

  “I needed some air,” I say hoarsely.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” I lie.

  “Do you want to go? We don’t have to wait around for our turn.”

  “It’s up to you. My brain is scrambled right now.”

  “What’s wrong, Victory?” Liv asks sympathetically.

  I sigh, “I don’t want to go into it. Let’s go bug Tracy and see if we can get on stage tonight. Although, after Kellan’s band, I don’t know that anyone will care.” I sigh again.

  She says sarcastically, “That’s the spirit.”

  I giggle.

  “Don’t worry about it, Vee. We’ll show them. I’m dying to sing Sunset Farewell. I promise, every one of those bikers is going to shed tears in their beers after they hear you and me play it.”

  “Okay. But maybe we should go have a three way with Tracy so we can make sure we get on stage,” I snicker.

  “He’s cute enough,” Liv smiles, “but I get to sit on his face. No one’s gone down on me in forever.”

  I laugh.

  “Well, well, well,” Scott Walker, my Ex, says as he walks up to the front door of The Dive Bomb with a big-titted rocker bimbo on his arm. He sneers, “If it isn’t Victory Payne.”

  Splendid.

  Scott is wearing sunglasses, even though the last hint of daylight is a thin orange line on the horizon, and a fur coat, even though it’s way too hot for fur. The coat is open and reveals a too short silver shirt that shows off his flat stomach and black-and-white striped pants. His low-profile dress shoes are glittery silver. He’s such a decadent rockstar.

  “If it isn’t Smellton John,” Liv groans.

  Scott frowns at her.

  Liv rephrases, “I mean, Scott Cocker.”

  “Nice,” Scott scowls. He taps his lips with his index finger and quips thoughtfully, “I can’t remember. What was your name again? Something like Olivia… Cunt. Right? Or was it Dunce? I can’t recall. It’s been so long since I forgot your name the last time.”

  Liv shakes her head.

  Big Tits titters and nuzzles against Scott while she stares down at me and Liv. Scott probably has his hand up her back like a ventriloquist dummy and decides when she does or doesn’t speak.

  “In case you forgot,” Liv growls, “It’s Olivia ‘You Better Run Before I Put My Go-Go Boot Up Your Butt’ Blunt.”

  I chuckle at Scott, “I see you didn’t waste any time finding my replacement.”

  Scott chuffs dismissively, “It wasn’t hard.”

  Big Tits goes, “Snicker, snicker.”

  I sneer, “Yeah, because you were probably hooking up with her long before we broke up.”

  He doesn’t deny it. Instead, he says doubtfully,“We? I broke up with you.”

  Big Tits goes, “Cackle, cackle.”

  I guess since Scott doesn’t know how to throw his voice like a real ventriloquist, he can only make Big Tits mumble and snort.

  I take the high road, “And for that, Scott, I thank you. Breaking up with me was the nicest thing you ever did. Now I know for sure how worthless you are.”

  “Go, Victory!” Liv cheers.

  Scott opens the door of The Dive Bomb and pulls his big titted dummy in after him. She walks stiffly on her too-tall heels. Like a mannequin.

  Liv pinches her nose like something smells bad and drawls,“Scott is laaaaame.”

  I grin, “Do you smell farts or something?”

  Liv winces, “Just Scott’s breath.”

  “Same thing” I giggle.

  Liv laughs, “I’m so glad you’re done with Turd Breath. I missed you, Vee. You know that?” She smiles earnestly.

  “I missed you too. Now let’s go show Scott how we rock the house.”

  Liv raises her hand for a high five, “You go, girlfriend! Remember, I get to sit on Tracy’s face! He has the nicest lips!”

  “So do you, Liv.”

  “Which ones?” she giggles.

  “I guess I’ll find out in five minutes,” I laugh as we walk around back.

  “Are you going to let me sit on your face too?” She gasps gleefully.

  “If you’re nice,” I joke.

  “I’m always nice!” she shrieks.

  We both laugh and walk around the back of the bar, arms around each other’s shoulders.

  Liv reaches down suddenly and pinches my butt.

  “Hey!” I shout.

  “Just getting you in the mood!” she giggles.

  Chapter 105

  VICTORY

  Liv hisses in my ear, “You should’ve let me suck Tracy’s dick earlier, Vee! The crowd is thinning out and the place is going to be empty before we hit the stage!”

  I hiss in her ear, “Tracy is gay! Weren�
��t you listening when he told us?”

  Liv scoffs, “Show me a gay guy who doesn’t like a good blowjob. For that matter, show me anything with a penis that doesn’t like a good blowjob. Mice, goats, tarantulas…”

  I frown, “Do tarantulas even have penises?”

  Liv nods emphatically, “I’m pretty sure tarantulas have two penises!”

  “Two?” I ask skeptically. “Where’d you get that number?”

  “Duh! They have twice as many limbs as a person, so they must have twice as many penises!”

  I chuckle and roll my eyes, “Don’t ever ask me to have a three way with you and a tarantula.”

  She snorts, “I’ve got a hand, I can work both spiny appendages at once.”

  An image of Liv and a human sized tarantula in a seedy hotel having insectophelia sex attempts to enter my mental theater, but I drop the curtains before it fully forms. My mental audience whooshes a sigh of relief.

  Liv definitely makes waiting less boring. Fortunately for us, the bar is still two-thirds full when Tracy motions for us to take to the brightly lit stage.

  Tracy shouts over the microphone, “Everybody, please welcome Ninth Street Nymphos to The Dive Bomb stage!”

  The applause is moderate. Nothing like the reception Kellan got from all the girl tarantulas in the audience. I snicker to myself. Liv sure put me in a wacky mood.

  “You suck!” someone shouts.

  It sounds like Scott. Wow, he’s so magnanimous. And definitely a male tarantula.

  I lean into one of the stage mics and say sarcastically, “Not you, I don’t.”

  I hear one person laugh, or maybe that’s my imagination.

  This is a far cry from the reception I got as part of Skin Trade. The band I helped build.

  Fucking Scott.

  Why did he have to come here tonight?

  Liv is at the front of the stage beside me, since it’s just the two of us. She leans toward me and asks, “You ready?”

  I nod.

  We only have two songs, because that’s all we’ve had time to write.

  The first one is called Rave To The Grave. Liv wrote most of it, including the lyrics. Liv starts the backing track drums on her laptop, which is mounted to the top of her keyboard stand. It’s not the same as Logan on drums, but it’s good enough. Liv joins in with her keyboards, and a measure later, I add guitar. Liv wrote the lyrics and sings them. I think they’re a bit too Party Pop for this crowd. The chorus doesn’t sound nearly as good without Lucas and Logan harmonizing along with her.

  But we get some token applause when we finish.

  “Get off the stage!” Scott yells.

  But we do get that.

  “Shut the fuck up, man!” someone responds. Was that Kellan? I can’t tell for sure. The lights are shining in my face, so I can’t see the audience, just outlines. But it sounded like Kellan.

  “Fuck you!” Scott grumbles absently.

  Liv says on mic, “I think we have some admirers, Victory.”

  “Uh…yeah. We’ll be signing autographs after the show,” I joke into my mic.

  A few laughs from the crowd.

  “This next song,” I say, “is called Sunset Farewell.”

  Liv cues up the backing tracks and the soft drums start with a slow tom fill. It’s a power ballad. I wrote it about Scott.

  “Get a drummer!” Scott shouts.

  I can’t wait to hear what he thinks.

  Liv shoves her arm out in the general direction of Scott and flips him off.

  Chuckles from the crowd.

  “Tell it,” a woman cheers. I think it might have been Switchblade, but I can’t say for sure.

  I play clean, shimmery chords as accompaniment for Liv’s keyboards, which are set to an echoey grand piano sound. The chords are haunting, and so is Liv’s voice. She does total justice to my lyrics.

  She sings:

  “You left me behind

  Your journey into night

  I asked you to return

  The treasure of our light

  You needed it for guidance

  So keep it for a time

  The only chance to find it

  Your pathway into light”

  The room is now silent, save our music and Liv’s amazing singing.

  I hope Scott is listening. He really needs to hear this.

  Liv and I change keys as we move into the plaintive pre chorus:

  “My soul has been unwell

  Since your heart set sail

  I never said goodbye

  Still seek our holy grail

  Memory fades with passing days

  Forgotten how you fell”

  We’ve played the song enough times, and the guitar part is really easy, so I’m able to concentrate on

  (Vic—)

  Liv’s amazing singing and memories of

  (Vict—)

  my relationship with Scott climb into my awareness. He wasn’t always an ass. But he was always troubled. I had high hopes in the beginning. I worked really hard to accept his bleak moods and his nasty temper. Even now, after his total rudeness since I saw him outside, I can feel the sadness of a lost relationship and all that

  (Victor—)

  wasted effort.

  Liv sings the chorus over swelling ambient keyboards on the backing track that bolster her voice with added textural harmony:

  “Trapped in your sunset spell

  Eternal carousel

  Believing my own lies

  Trapped in our sunset spell

  The prison where I dwell

  Holding onto life

  Trapped in your sunset spell

  Eternal carousel”

  We change to the bridge chords, and it takes everything I have to hold it together and not start weeping onstage. The song is powerful. Liv’s voice is haunting and it seems to be peeling back the layers of my armor. I still haven’t finished grieving about what I lost when Scott trashed everything.

  Liv sings the second verse:

  “You got lost in darkness

  You said there’s room for two

  I begged for you come back to me

  Together we’ll renew

  Your heart and eyes said yes

  Your hurtful words said no

  Your soul confessed it was distressed

  And didn’t want to go”

  I realize I wrote this song as a way to grieve the loss of what I had with

  (Stop!!!)

  Scott.

  I’m a bit jealous Liv gets to

  (singsingsing)

  sing it. But at least

  (Victory!!!)

  someone is singing it. Even if it isn’t me. I can grieve through Liv’s amazing performance just like I’ve done with songs played by other bands that I’ve loved and listened to hundreds of times because those songs speak to something deep within me. Just like most people who aren’t musicians do with their favorite music, processing their pain with the help of music they love.

  In this moment, I’m totally grateful for Liv’s amazing voice:

  “My soul has been unwell

  Since your heart set sail

  I never said goodbye

  Still seek our holy grail

  Memory fades with passing days

  Forgotten how you fell”

  When Liv finishes, I break into a wailing guitar solo. I pour my heart into it, and my sadness flows from my fingers, into my Fender and out of my amplifier, filling The Dive Bomb with my pain. I’m weeping by the end as my tears drip onto my guitar.

  It feels so good to let Scott

  (Stop, Dad!!!)

  go.

  Liv repeats the chorus a final time:

  “Trapped in your sunset spell

  Eternal carousel

  Believing my own lies

  Trapped in our sunset spell

  The prison where I dwell

  Holding onto life

  Trapped in your sunset spell

  Time to say farewell


  Time to break your spell

  Time to say farewell

  Time to break your spell”

  The song fades away softly on Liv’s last word.

  I hang my head over my guitar. My shoulders shake as I weep silently onstage in front of the entire room.

  So much pain.

  The Dive Bomb is dead silent.

  Five seconds later, the crowd explodes and the whole room cheers. People are whistling, clapping, shouting.

  I can’t believe it.

  I giggle through my sobs and look over at Liv.

  She looks surprised, her eyes big, her lips pursed oddly. For once, she is speechless.

  I smile at her, and I feel so much better

  “That was shit!’ Scott shouts.

  Yeah, whatever, Scott.

  I’m done with you.

  But my pain remains…

  (Victor!!!!!!)

  Chapter 106

  VICTORY

  The caster wheels on our amps clatter across the cracked sidewalk as me and Liv push our amps back to my car, past the front of The Dive Bomb.

  The crowd of bikers smoking cigarettes outside start clapping forcefully as we pass.

  “Yeah!” one of them shouts. “You guys rocked!”

  Another biker walks over and says, “You need help with those amps?”

  Liv giggles and mutters to me, “We have fans!”

  “Sure,” I smile at the guy.

  The two bikers pick up our amps and walk us to our car. We stash everything in my trunk. “Well,” I say, “we’re going inside to get some drinks.”

  The taller biker, who wears a Motörhead shirt under his thin leather vest says, “Can I buy you guys a round?”