Fir Lodge

by Sean McMahon

  ‘Hal, you made it! How was the drive?!’ said Rachel, who was positively beaming.

  It was a well-established fact in Britain that there were only two potential responses when using descriptive terminology to quantify traffic; either it was “an absolute nightmare”, or “it wasn’t too bad actually.” There was no in-between.

  ‘Hey Rach’!’ said Hal. ‘Well, Jasmine was driving scrappy…but other than that, it wasn’t too bad actually!’

  Rachel pulled Hal in for a hug, and kissed him on the cheek.

  ‘If you want to dump your bag, your room’s just there,’ she said, pointing to the room to the right of the pool table. ‘You’re sharing with your brother. Jon’s out back setting up the hot tub if you want to say “hey.”’

  Hal hugged her again, then moved to the side to allow his other friends the opportunity to discuss their own interpretation of the traffic with Rachel, and made his way to his designated room for the weekend.

  He entered the bedroom, pushing the door behind him with his foot, so that it was partially closed, as he heard Robert’s booming voice all the way from the hallway.

  ‘Traffic was an absolute nightmare,’ he heard Robert saying to Rachel.

  Hal chuckled, and tossed his case onto the bed that he had decided would be his.

  “First dibs,” he thought.

  Hal freshened up a little in the bathroom, and headed further down the hall into the rear garden. The hot tub didn’t disappoint, an eight-seater beast that sat opposite what he would later discover to be a sauna and steam room.

  ‘Jon mate, this place is awesome!’ said Hal.

  ‘Ah man,’ said Jon, laughing in agreement. ‘I can’t wait to get on it tonight! How you doing? Drive okay?’

  ‘It wasn’t too bad actually!’ said Hal, as they bear-hugged each other.

  Hal was glad to see him. Due to Jon’s line of work, he was often deployed during the gang’s gatherings. This was the first time in a long while that the stars had aligned, and Jon was able to attend one of their spectacular blowout parties.

  ‘Hot tub looks great!’ noted Hal, casually leaning his weight against it.

  The seemingly innocuous action immediately caused the tub to shake, generating a menacing clunking noise that clearly meant nothing good. The jets slowed, causing the bubbles to dwindle away feebly until, eventually, the water was perfectly still.

  ‘What’d I do?!’ said Hal in horror.

  Fearful that he had already managed to ruin Rachel’s thirtieth birthday, he recoiled away from the tub, and inspected his hands, as if he had inherited a dastardly form of destructive telekinesis.

  ‘Ha, oh nothing mate,’ said Jon, ‘I think the power just tripped,’ he added reassuringly, tapping on the control panel of the tub to see if the digital display would come back to life.

  After a short while, the display obliged, flashing happily, as the jets started back up again.

  ‘I’ll keep an eye on it,’ he added. ‘If it keeps doing it, I’ll call the owner out to take a look.’

  ‘Fair play,’ said Hal. ‘Where’s the breaker box anyway? In case we need to restart it?’

  ‘Through that door, in with the sauna and steam rooms,’ said Jon, pointing to the door directly behind Hal, who nodded, and absconded to the garden, which seemed to extend into infinity.

  Hal plonked himself down on one of the picnic benches, feeling a slight shiver run through him as he did so. Reaching into his pocket, he plucked a pre-made, hand-rolled cigarette from a filter box, placed the box back from whence it came, and retrieved his petrol lighter, flipping the lid and the flint in one smooth movement. A party trick that no one had ever asked to see, but one that he was always pleased with when he pulled it off first time.

  Hal took a drag, resting his elbows on the picnic table, lamenting to himself that he really needed to quit.

  “Soon. Just…not this weekend,” he thought, making the conscious decision that he would seriously attempt doing just that, when he departed Fir Lodge.

  *

  Kara walked into her room and dumped her case onto her bed, noting the other cases scattered around her. She’d be sharing with Rachel and Jon tonight, as well as Jasmine. She flew back out of the room, shivering slightly at the cool breeze that had just hit her, and past the pool table that was directly outside it. Walking past the double doors that were on her left, she made her way up the central staircase to the upper level, where everyone was congregating.

  As she made her way up the staircase, she was temporarily overcome with an unexpected, split-second, of dizziness, as if she had missed a step on the way up, and her stomach lurched. She flicked her short, auburn hair, and bumped into Jasmine on the stairs, who was on her way back down.

  ‘Hey Jas’, thanks so much for driving!’ said Kara, her dizziness now a mere memory. ‘And for stopping for a Macker’s breakfast, that was epic.’

  ‘You’re welcome,’ said Jasmine. ‘I’m just glad Will took the lead. I don’t think we’d have made it otherwise,’ she said, frowning.

  Jasmine was relieved the journey was over. Hal had programmed his satnav with the voice of a popular talking car from the 80’s, which was fine and all, but the route it was advising her to take seemed to want her to break away from the convoy every time she approached a roundabout. She was relieved that she was able to follow Will for the entirety of the journey. Jasmine flicked her long, black hair, still having to look up at Kara, despite being a step above her on the stairs.

  Jasmine descended the central staircase, and popped into her room, noticing the pool table directly outside it.

  “Well that’s going to be awesome at three in the morning,” she thought to herself.

  She chuckled at the thought that her sleep would be regularly interrupted with the sound of clacking resin, and loud drunken banter, secretly wishing that she could drink this weekend. As Jasmine walked through the open door into her room, she noticed that someone had already been out to her car and placed her bag on the bed for her. She remembered that a few people already knew about her not-so-secret secret, and smiled at the thoughtfulness, her hand subconsciously resting on the slight bump she was sporting.

  *

  With their bags unpacked, everyone met on the top floor, a vast space that was split between a large living area, a modest kitchen, and a larger dining section. Long sweeping balconies bookmarked each end of the building, which overlooked the front and rear gardens respectively. Sofa beds lined the far corners of the open space, which would be claimed soon enough by Peter, Fearne, Will, and Stacey.

  With the tour of the lodge out of the way, the lads had all commandeered the hot tub before the girls had a chance to protest.

  Alex was last to arrive, welcomed by Rachel and Hal, as he pulled up on the driveway. At just over six-foot tall, Alex towered over them. Thanks to Alex’s thick, swooping, black hair, it would have been impossible for anyone to assume he and Hal were brothers.

  As he closed the driver-side door, Alex could hear that the drinks were already flowing, and loud laughter was emanating from the rear garden, as music began to blare from an unseen speaker.

  “I have a really great feeling about this weekend,” thought Alex.

  *

  Jerry stared at the new visitors from the cover of the surrounding trees.

  “Not yet…” he thought, “but soon…”

  And he slowly retreated into the shadows that were being cast by the expansive canopy of the trees.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Jerry

  Friday Afternoon, 2:37pm

  Later that afternoon, the majority of the group headed inside to freshen up and escape the unrelenting sun. Jasmine ran a hand through her long dark hair, as she made her way up the staircase to the communal area. She was all for a bit of sun-worship, but since she fell pregnant, she’d applied an “everything in moderation” approach to how she went about her day.

  She took a seat on one of the sofas, grabbing one of the magazin
es she had brought along with her from the coffee table, and flicked through the various stories that focused predominately on the current wave of pseudo-celebrities. Various fancy weddings adorned the pages, full of staged photos of people wearing more make-up in one photo than she would wear in a year. As she skipped over the majority of the stories, which focused on Shakespearean relationship betrayals, scandals engineered by the agents for the stars they represented, and various articles on two people that wore the same dress to the same event, her eyes glazed over, as the mystery over who indeed did wear it best was about to be revealed.

  Daisy fell down onto the sofa to her right, pulling Jasmine back into the real world as she did so. Thankful for the arrival of a more stimulating pursuit, she turned to her friend.

  ‘You know, it’s a good job I’m not allowed in that hot tub,’ said Jasmine, ‘considering how much the boys are hogging it!’

  Daisy rolled her eyes in agreement.

  ‘Yeeeeah, Robert’s pretty much set it up as a forwarding address,’ said Daisy, smiling playfully in reference to her newly-aquatic husband, ‘he can’t seem to get enough of it.’

  ‘Aren’t you worried he’s going to shrivel up?’ asked Jasmine, with a chuckle.

  ‘Nope, he’s his own person,’ said Daisy, ‘I’m just thankful for the peace and quiet to be honest,’ she joked, a layer of sincerity in her tone.

  Daisy was always looking out for the members of the group; it was in her nature. Always advising them all whenever they were about to do something ill-advised, whether it be smoking a cigarette, or investing in an interest-only mortgage. To the untrained eye, it might have come across as being interfering, but they all loved her for it. She had a heart of gold, and if she was disappointed in you, it was a general rule of thumb that it was a direct result of your own misdemeanor that got you there in the first place, and you did your best to do better next time.

  *

  Robert sat in the hot tub, unknowingly satiating his wife’s desire for peace and quiet. He was patiently waiting for Jon to rectify whatever it was that was causing the jets to keep cutting out, and was already three beers in; well on his way to becoming inebriated.

  ‘Any luck, mate?’ he said, calling out to Jon.

  The hot tub immediately sprang to life, as if there was a direct correlation to his quandary and the desired outcome. Jon returned, flicking his sunglasses down from his forehead and discarding his white dressing gown to join Robert in the tub.

  ‘Must be something wrong with the electrics,’ he surmised.

  ‘Maybe a fuse?’ suggested Robert, bringing the exhilarating conversation to its natural end whilst simultaneously masking his complete lack of understanding when it came to anything electrical.

  Peter and Will joined them next, having just returned from sourcing more alcohol, and jumped in next to Jon. Due to his always-active lifestyle, Peter was similar in physique to Jon, his short black hair, meticulously-maintained designer stubble, and ridiculously-perfect jaw-line working in harmonious tandem to make him look like a male model. He was always the smartest-looking man in the room, thanks to wearing the latest styles, nailing that edgy, fashionable look that Hal himself could never seem to get right, and his dark brown eyes smouldered, even when he was thinking about a grilled-cheese sandwich. Peter, having just returned from working in Vietnam for the past year, seemed positively glowing that he was back home, and getting to spend some real time with his friends again.

  ‘Cheers everyone,’ said Jon, and they clinked their bottles of beer in celebration of their long-overdue reunion.

  *

  At 3:37pm, Kara, Hal, Jon, and Fearne headed outside into the rear garden to kill some time by blasting a shuttlecock between them, having discovered some badminton rackets stored in the supply shed of the lodge, completely oblivious to the fact that Jerry was about to introduce himself to them, and that his arrival would turn their lives completely upside down.

  ‘Right, we’ve formed a badminton! Let’s do this!’ declared Jon, his badminton racket shredding through the air and colliding with the already-beleaguered shuttlecock.

  Hal wasn’t sure what “forming a badminton” meant exactly, though he assumed it must have been a “Northern thing.” Nevertheless, he accepted the responsibility of whatever that entailed by volleying the shuttlecock back at full pelt, inches above Jon’s head, which Jon expertly deflected over to Kara who then, in turn, redirected it towards Fearne. And so it continued, as Robert acted as an intoxicated referee from the comfort of his new, oceanic-themed home.

  Jerry approached silently, utilising the tall hedges to cloak his presence. He was so close, he could smell them now. He breathed deeply, memorising their scent. Jerry sensed they would trust him, and he would use that to his advantage.

  He stalked ever-closer, actively analysing the entirety of his surroundings for any other people.

  They were alone.

  “It’s now or never,” he thought.

  Exhaling sharply, now resigned to his plan, he searched inside himself for the bravery he would need in the moments ahead. Impulsively, Jerry ran through the hedges, moving with incredible speed, remaining unseen, despite being in plain sight. As he charged towards them, he experienced, as he always did, the purest joy that came from following his animalistic impulses. With sheer brute-force, he set his sights on the short-haired one, briefly acknowledging the weapon she was brandishing, but not feeling afraid. After all, he’d done this so many times before, and had always reached his prey before they had time to run.

  Kara saw him now, but it was too little, too late. He was on her. Tackling her legs, Jerry pinned her down, and extended his tongue, running it across her cheek. Kara screamed in shock at the violation of personal space, laughing loudly.

  ‘Arg! Dog attack!’ shouted Kara. ‘Good doggy! Are you a good doggy?! Yes you are! Off now! Get off!’

  Jerry, a white and red springer spaniel, obeyed immediately, assumed the sitting position, and barked loudly, seeking the customary validation for a job well done, what with him being the embodiment of “a good boy.”

  Kara rolled onto her front, picked herself up, and dusted herself down, as Jerry barked a second time, growing impatient for what was surely a well-earned reward. Hal went to fetch the football Stacey had brought with her, a crucial part of the costume she would be adorning the next day, and jogged back to where Jon had formed The Badminton Alliance.

  Hal tossed the ball to Kara, and Jerry caught on immediately. Jerry barked intermittently, seemingly exasperated that Kara was taking so long to lose her grip on the spherical trophy that he was so desperate to intercept, fearful that she would return it to the man standing a fair distance away before he could strike.

  ‘Wow, if you weren’t a dog person, you’d think he was being aggressive, right?’ said Hal, raising an eyebrow as he surveyed the dog.

  ‘Yeah, definitely,’ said Kara, using an underarm-throw to launch the ball down the seemingly endless garden.

  Jerry overshot his mark, and went head-first into a hedge, then launched himself back out, wrestling the ball on his own for a bit. Jon sighed, as the realisation that he was never going to talk Rachel around into having a dog set in, what with her being regimentally concise about being a “cat person.”

  Hal went to pick up the ball, and Jerry resumed his tirade of barks, refusing to let him pick it up.

  ‘You wanna play kid? Or are you just going to be a jerk about it?’ said Hal, causing Jerry’s ears to twitch, as he looked up at him.

  Kara seized the opportunity to grab the ball whilst Jerry was distracted, taking advantage of Jerry’s momentary lapse in judgement, as he apparently mulled Hal’s question over. She threw it once more, and Jerry bolted off after it at full pelt, his legs flailing wildly, as if they were working independently from his adorable mind.

  Once Jerry has used a fair portion of his seemingly-endless reserve of energy, Kara, Hal, and Jon all took turns fussing over him. Jerry’s collar flashed in
the sunlight, revealing his name, which was engraved on the front. Kara flipped it over and noted his address, which was etched on the back.

  ‘Anyone else think it’s weird that whoever his owner is has just let him roam free out here?’ said Fearne, raising a valid point. ‘Do you think he’s lost?’

  Jon gave it some thought, and then dismissed her concerns.

  ‘Nah, probably lived here for years,’ said Jon. ‘Probably lives close by too.’

  ‘His name’s Jerry. Says he lives at number 51,’ said Kara, chiming in and referencing the tag. ‘No idea where that is though, our lodge doesn’t even have a number, does it?’

  Jerry’s ears twitched once more, as if catching a sound only he could hear. He moved away from them, and shook from head to tail, his comically flapping jowls revealing his teeth, as if he was shaking off water after an unexpected dip.

  Having seemingly decided that their fuss and attention was no longer required, he shot off around the side entrance, stopping briefly to examine an interesting scent. Whatever had caught his attention didn’t distract him for long, however, and he continued on his way, disappearing from sight.

  ‘Why do I get the feeling that won’t be the last we’ll be seeing of him?’ said Hal with a chuckle. ‘See ya later Jerry!’ he added, shouting towards the hedges, despite knowing that Jerry was surely long gone by now.

  Wrapping up their badminton quartet, they headed back inside, leaving the current Master of The Seven Seas to his own devices in the hot tub.

  *

  At 8pm, everyone met in the communal dining area for a sit-down meal, and the luxurious cabin was filled with the sound of clinking wine glasses, laughter, and music.

  After their meal, the drinkers in the group moved on to the stronger liquor, indulging in the delights of shots, mixers and the over-powering cocktail monstrosities that Jon was throwing together with reckless abandon.

  Not one of them suspected that they were being watched, or that their actions and conversations were being monitored.