I'm the Slut of the School

by Kaitlyn Fetterman

  After my morning routine, I was off to school. My mind kept fluttering off to that stupid dream. I kept telling myself it was only a dream but my heart didn't agree with that. I thought about that for a minute. If my heart wanted that dream to be real, then wouldn't that mean I liked Jay. No, no, no I don't like anyone, even Zachary who I had sex with once a week. Though, if I did like him that would explain the dream, not wanting him to find out that I was a slut and the weird feeling I got in my stomach when he was close.

  That didn't make sense though, I have never had a crush on anyone in my entire life and now a new guy comes here and I like him. Stupid boy, I thought to myself.

  The day dragged bye only because of my new theory which I still didn't know if I was right or not. Was it normal to have a crush on someone at sixteen? On the way back home, my head was filled with thoughts about my newfound 'crush'.

  I called Ginger on my way home and invited her and Jamie over for a sleep over, though it was really for me to ask them about having a 'crush'. They would probably think I had lost my marbles or something because it was the first real girly talk we were going to have. After ten years you'd think we would have but they know that I hate all the girly stuff.

  When they got here, I was in my room making the couch more of a bed. They walked in smiling and giggling like little seven year olds. After they got settled on the couch, I sat between them and plopped a movie into the DVD player. Ginger had picked one of my favorites; Men in Black 3. I had seen that movie in theaters and begged my mom to buy it for like five hours before she finally cracked. I had to admit I could get almost anything out of her, as long as I did my puppy dog eyes that Crystal had taught me when I was seven.

  About half way through the movie Jamie turned it off and turned to look at me. She had a confused look on her face and I knew she had figured something out, I was busted.

  "Out with it, you're hiding something and I want to know what it is." she said crossing her arms over her chest. She really wanted to know.

  "Well..." I started, getting up off the couch. I walked around the couch and leaned on the back, glaring at Jamie. I loved her with all my heart but sometimes I hated her. "I think... I might... have a... crush on... someone"

  Jamie and Ginger smiled and giggled. They started shrieking and pulling on my arms asking so many questions I couldn't even hear them.

  "Hush" I warned. "Now, one at a freaking time. You two are acting like I'm not a girl or something"

  "Well, you have never had a crush on anyone, so it's a big moment for you and us. Now, who?" Ginger practically yelled.

  "Jay. I had a dream last night that I was running from a wolf and climbed up to our Tree House. He was up there with me, and was about to kiss me when I realized who it was. Then I woke up before our lips touched." I explained.

  "Yeah, you like him" Jamie agreed.

  "Definitely"

  "Well, how do I unlike him? I don't want to have a stupid crush on the new guy. My brother told me to stay away from him, not like him"

  "You kind of can't unless he does something really bad that you don't like. It's your heart that will tell you if you don't like him anymore." Jamie said.

  "Plus, you being you, you probably won't be happy until he's your boyfriend..." I cut her off.

  "Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not dating anyone, you know I don't do that. They just end up messing up your life." I said remembering Ethan. "I can't do a relationship again, never again"

  Ginger rubbed my back, trying to comfort me. "We know it would be hard but, that's how me and Beck ended up together. He liked me, I liked him and he asked me out. Jess, we've been together ever since. Maybe it was fate telling you that you and Ethan aren't meant to be together."

  Jamie slapped her arm and gave her a WTH look. "Jay and you are definitely good for each other, and if I could pick someone for you to like, it would be him. Just try a relationship, it might work out."

  "No!" I shouted. I can't have a repeat of what happened to Ethan, it took me five months to admit it wasn't my fault. I could have prevented it, sure but maybe Ginger was right, maybe it was fate. "I can't do that"

  "Stop being a slut and you can"

  "Like I said to Zachary yesterday, Never will I Ever do that. I'm happy now, I get whatever, whenever" I explained sitting back down.

  "What can we do, to make you stop being one?" Ginger asked.

  "Nothing. You can try but you can't, I'm not breaking." I said.

  Jamie took out her phone and texted someone but I couldn't tell who it was by her expression. "See if that will."

  I sighed and walked into my walk-in-closet and picked out a short, sexy, red silk nightgown and changed into it. I put my favorite black silk robe over it but even that went a little above my knees.

  When I came out of the bathroom, after changing I saw the last person I wanted to see on my couch. Jay.

  He turned around to look at me and even I could tell he eye-raped me. I pretended to ignore it and sat next to Ginger on the couch. They were lucky I wasn't sleeping in something more revealing.

  "Jay, what are you doing here? It's nearly 10PM" I said giving Jamie a 'You're dead' look.

  "Oh, I invited him over. Hope you don't mind"

  "No, of course not..." I was cut off by Jake walking in the door. He was wearing black boxers and no shirt. Jamie got a kick out of that.

  "Oh!" he said when he saw us all sitting on the couch. "I didn't know you had company, thanks for the warning"

  I got up and leaned my back against the back of the couch, allowing my robe to open. "I have company, Jake"

  He shook his head. "Before hand. Anyway, what did you want for a midnight snack tonight"

  "Um..." I said trying to think. "Doesn't matter"

  "Hey, Jake" Jamie said.

  He waved then rolled his eyes, so Jamie couldn't see. "Hey. Oh, sis next time you have Jamie in particular over, let me know"

  I shook my head. "Nope, I'm good"

  "Maybe, I won't convince mom to give you your..." I cut him off not wanting Jay to hear what he was going to say.

  "You have them?" I questioned, he only nodded. "Your dead"I chased him out of the room and into his, so I could pin him on the floor. He gave them back but only after I promised he'd get something of mine. We walked back into my room and he started looking around, while I hid my birth control.

  "Anything, but any of my movies" I said.

  He nodded and found a picture of Zachary naked that I was supposed to give to Ginger, when she asked. "Um..."

  I glared at him, took it and handed it to Ginger. "That was very hard to get, you owe me"

  She smiled and took it. "Sure it was. All you have to do is get him naked then take a picture."

  "Like I have that kind of time to stand around taking pictures of naked people." I added. I heard Jay mumble something under his breath that I couldn't hear. Shit! "What was that Jay?"

  "Oh, nothing just laughing" he chuckled.

  "No, you said something. What?"

  "Nothing I want you all to hear" he mumbled. Ginger and Jamie didn't hear it but I did.

  When Jake finally found something, he picked a poster of Miley Cyrus that was on my wall and went to his room to put it up. I slammed the door behind him and locked it so he couldn't come back.

  "Oh, Jay. Were you planning on spending the night?"

  This time when he mumbled something I heard it but Jamie and Ginger didn't. "I'll stay every night if that's what your going to wear"

  "I'm sorry, was that a yes" I asked as I blushed.

  He shook his head and left. I climbed in bed, shut the light off and went to sleep as soon as possible. I didn't want Jamie or Ginger asking me any questions. It worked, to my surprise.

  I was running, that part was obvious but I didn't know what from. Yesterday it was a wolf but today I had no idea. I had already passed the Tree House by about a mile and I was almost in Connecticut.

  My v
ision was getting blurry and I realized it was because I was crying and the tears had already gotten to my chin.

  Suddenly, I was pushed to the left and landed on the ground with a thud. It was a person that had pushed me out of the way. Though, it wasn't Jay like yesterday, it was the person I was running from.

  I screamed and screamed but no one heard me, or at least no one was coming to save me. I closed my eyes and waited for something bad to happen that I would regret but it never came.

  When I opened my eyes, Jay was standing in front of me with an arm stretched out towards me. I willingly took it and he pulled me up to standing. My heart accelerated again and the butterflies were back. He leaned over to kiss me but I was awake before our lips touched.

  I quickly sat up to come face to face with the two worried faces of my best-friends. Ginger's eyes were wide and full of worry and I couldn't say Jamie's face was much different.

  "Are you okay?" Jamie asked with a shaking voice.

  "You were screaming about someone getting away from you and then said something about Jay." Ginger said with the same voice.

  "I'm fine, trust me. It was just a dream... a really good yet bad dream. Maybe I'm a little mad because I keep waking up right when he's going to kiss me." I said. Did I say that out loud? "I said that out loud, didn't I?"

  They both nodded and got off the bed. We talked the whole time we got ready and most of breakfast. Jake hated the idea, we had come up with but I told him off for that and he didn't say another word after that. It's not like I wanted him to hear but he had good ears and was at the table too, so it was hard for him not to hear it.

  As we arrived to school, Jamie was the first out of my car and she went straight over to Jay. She was going to ask him about what he thought about me and then if it was good, I'd go talk to him but if it was bad then she would talk up about me.

  I didn't know if the plan to make him like me was going to work and really I don't know if I wanted it to. Most guys in this school wouldn't give up the chance to even talk to me but him, he was a mystery.

  "Do you think it will work?" Ginger asked as we got out of the car. She was so excited I could see her eyes light up when I slowly nodded. "Me too"

  I shook my head and put my bag on my shoulder. "You are so excited and I don't get why. He is after all just a boy" My heart disagreed with that sentence but I wouldn't let anyone see that. What was wrong with me? I had never liked anyone before, why now? Why him?

  "You really should be more excited. Oh, and he's not just some boy, he's your first crush. Which is a major deal."

  I shook my head, not seeing the point in some guy. " Sure, I guess"

  Jamie walked over, well skipped really and had a huge smile on her face. "He said your a nice, pretty girl that he'd love to get to know better. Go over there and talk to him."

  I shook my head. "I can't"

  "Why? We are talking about Jessica Ann Hamilton here, not some shy girl. You don't get nervous or frightened by anything." Ginger reminded me.

  "Well, I get nervous around him. I can't go over there and talk to him after you went over there and talked about me. He's not stupid, he will think something is up." I told them.

  "Go!" they said and pushed me in his direction.

  I gave them death glares but walked the short distant between us. I fell into walk beside him and smiled at the close distant. What was happening to me? I'm nervous to talk to a boy, since when? I had never in my life got nervous or anything so it was all new to me and made me feel like a child. I hated it.

  "Hey" I finally said.

  "Hey, do you have any idea why Jamie came over here and asked me about you?" he asked in a flat voice.

  I looked over at him and meet his gaze. I wanted to melt just looking into those eyes, those amazing dark brown somehow beautiful eyes. I hated feeling low, shallow. "No, she didn't mention anything about that."

  "Huh, weird" he said back in a normal voice.

  Damn, I was busted. I may not know much about him but I do know a lot about boys and he knew something was up. Dammit! "Yeah."

  The rest of the day we didn't talk except when he needed help in Math and asked me but I had no clue. I hope he didn't like smart girls. Whoa, wait, why did I want him to like me? I'm turning into a girly girl, urgh.

  When I went home, Jamie and Ginger came over again and again we watched a movie. This time we actually got to the end before I got hammered with questions. Jamie wanted to know if he knew something was up and Ginger wanted to know what I said and his exact words in response. It was weird thinking that I had a crush, considering me being a slut but it was even weirder when I talked about it. It made me feel like I was a girly girl, not a slut.

  That night I didn't have any unexpected or unwanted visitors to my room, and I was happy about that. Only my brother came in once to ask for an extra pillow because he did something with his. I threw it at him which ended up in a pillow fight between me, Jamie and Ginger vs. him. I didn't know who won or if it even had a winner but at about eleven I went to bed.

  I was running from Him, the man who raped me. Him, the man who I hated with most of my heart and would do anything to never see him again. Him, the man who I was running from, again.

  "I will catch you, and when I do you better have and ambulance ready" he said out of breath.

  I on the other hand wasn't out of breath at all but I couldn't figure out why. I shrugged and pushed myself to go faster. My destination was the basement in the tree house. We had made a 'basement' so that if we were hiding from something or someone we could hide in there, all we needed was the key.

  I climbed the stairs as quickly as possible then searched my pockets for the keys. I didn't see it anywhere, or feel it. Dammit, I was dead meat. I had cornered myself in a small Tree House with a murderous man chasing me. I was so stupid at times.

  I heard him climb up the stairs and I guarded my face with my arms hoping I wouldn't die. But the pain I was expecting never came. I unblocked my eyes to see someone standing in front of me, protectively. I didn't recognize him from the back but it looked like someone familiar.

  After he had scared the murderer off, he turned around to show his beautiful face. It was my hero, Jay.

  I woke that morning with a frightening view, my brother's face was right there blocking my view of anything. I slapped his cheek making a loud sound and moving his head to the side. He slapped me back and we continued this until my alarm went off. He moved off my bed and I was happy with that but then I noticed Jamie and Ginger weren't up yet. I got out of bed, woke them up and got in the shower before I could hear them complain. I was in the middle of my shower when I heard banging on the door, then it opened. Ginger did her make-up and Jamie brushed her hair. Thank god for opaque things.

  After we finished getting ready, I grabbed my bag and we headed downstairs. My brother had just started eating and I had regretting running early. My dad came downstairs and hopped in his car with saying a word, he must be super late. The three of us got in my car and headed to school as fast as possible.

  Jay was standing near my parking space when I pulled in and that alone put butterflies in my stomach. I walked over to him with Jamie and Ginger on either side of me and looked up to meet his gaze. Those eyes, would be an amazing weapon to just stare someone down with.

  "Hey" I said.

  "Do you even know my name?" he asked looking over at me.

  I nodded. "Jay, why wouldn't I?"

  "Well, everyone here says you sleep around and don't even bother remembering people's names. I was seeing if it was true"

  I shook my head and cursed my bad reputation. "I know everyone's name, I don't know where you heard that from. I promise you I know people's names"

  He shrugged. "Prove it"

  "How? Do you want me to tell you everyone's name?" I asked even though I already knew the answer.

  He nodded eagerly. "I was just going to ask you who was who but that works."
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  All day I told him everyone's name in the grade, and even some in higher grades though I didn't know anyone in lower ones. He thought it was pretty cool that I knew everyone, and in a way it was cool. You could walk down the hallway and say hi to people you never even talk to.

  "You know, I would bet someone just made that rumor up. I'm sorry I believed it" he said as we walked to the last class. Wow, someone actually saying sorry to me, that was a first.

  "Apology accepted" I said and walked into the changing rooms in Gym. He had told me that I didn't have to tell him everyone's name anymore but I did just to show off, which got a laugh out of him. I had to admit he was really nice, sweet, honest and everything Ethan was. This guy might have a chance.

  Jamie and Ginger had tons of questions for me and that's why I dropped them off at their houses instead of coming back over to mine. I drove home slowly, not in any rush and it was nice to just calm down once in a while. Once I got home, my mom had me put the dishes and new groceries away which I got payed for.

  I went upstairs and went straight to bed. I didn't fall asleep until after midnight but that night was the first in four days that I didn't dream.

  The Big Question

  The past week had been pretty intense, and wild. Jay and I had become great friends and I haven't had sex since I met him. It was really weird not going to Zachary's every Friday but there are bigger things in life then sex. I had gotten everyone to start calling me by my actual name instead of the slut of just slut.

  Jamie and Ginger were just waiting for the day Jay would step up and ask me out but I wasn't going to hold my breath. I still hadn't decided if I would even say yes considering I don't do long-term relationships. Ginger had been trying to help me get over that but so far it wasn't working. Jamie on the other hand was teaching me how to flirt which was new for me because to get a guy all I needed to do was ask. I never had to flirt. It was hard, and at least ten times I almost gave up, but she wouldn't let me.