Kissing Cousins

by Lexi Buchanan

  “I don’t know what I’m doing Paige. I love Alexander so much, and I thought we’d be able to spend today together, but that didn’t happen because our dads kept us apart, and I’m tired because every time I try to sleep I play over and over in my mind what I’ll say to you when I see you. You’re my twin Paige. I love you and I don’t want anything between us. I can’t handle it anymore.” I sniffle into a tissue. “I want my sister back, my best friend.”

  Now Paige is crying and it’s my entire fault. I don’t know how to make it right. I’m not giving up Alexander. Although he might want to give up on me when he realizes what a wreck I am.

  “I’m sorry, Rachel,” Paige whispers. “So sorry that I’ve caused all of this between us.” She pauses. “Once I started I didn’t know how to stop. I love you both and I really am happy for you, but … but, I’m jealous as well. You’re my twin and we had plans for our future together, and then the minute Alexander decides he can’t live without you, you’re no longer mine. You’re his. I should have been happy for you instead of making your life difficult.”

  “I have enough love for the both of you,” I admit and smile through my tears.

  “When you come home, we’ll talk, okay?” Paige tells me, sounding tired.

  “Are you sure everything is okay with you? You sound stressed.” I wipe at my tears and try to concentrate on the phone call. I want to catch anything that tells me what really is going on with her. “There is something I need to tell you, but I refuse to do it over the phone … I got your postcards.”

  There is real amusement in her voice now.

  “I’m glad.”

  “Four arrived on the same day, so the date being on them helped.”

  I laugh. “Well I hope you make room for them because there’s more on the way.”

  She chuckles. “I can’t wait to receive them.” Silence follows and then she says, “Will you tell Alexander that I love him, and that I’m sorry for being a bitch to you both?”

  “You can tell him yourself when we’re home.”

  “No,” Paige says sharply. “You have to tell him today. Promise me Rachel.”

  I frown. “I promise, but you have me worried now. You’re not hurt or anything?”

  She sighs heavily.

  “We’re friends again?” I plead.

  “We’re twins again,” she replies.

  “I love you, Sis.” She disconnects the call.

  We’re twins again makes me smile. We’ve always said that. When we use that term, it means we’re stronger than friends.

  It feels good to have talked to her, but I’m more worried about what is really going on with her. She didn’t answer my question about being hurt.

  I switch my phone to silent and let it drop to the floor while I snuggle into the bed I share with Alexander. His scents all over the bed so I move to his side and bury my face into his pillow, and drift off to sleep.

  27

  Alexander

  Sitting alone in the dark, I watch Rachel sleep on my side of the bed and wonder what to do.

  I had to put my foot down with everyone about coming back here alone. The last thing I’d wanted was for Rachel to feel pressured, which she would if faced with everyone.

  She’s my girl and I don’t know what really happened out there today. She’s been totally fine with our relationship, and then she lied to me. She needed to be away from everyone, which I totally understand especially with how we were kept apart. But I never thought she’d just up and disappear.

  I knew she’d come back here even though my heart didn’t calm down until I saw her with my own eyes.

  She sleeps softly while I try to force the anger away. It won’t go anywhere. I’m not only angry, but also frustrated with her. I knew when she broke down in the gardens that there was something more to it, but I let it go once she’d settled down.

  Her phone is on the floor as though its landed where it had been dropped, and she faces away from me. Tonight, I’d wanted to eat with my parents. I wanted to celebrate my engagement to the woman I love, but glancing at the digital clock on the television, that won’t be happening.

  I could have gone alone but what would be the point?

  “I guess you’re really angry with me if you’re over there and I’m in our bed?”

  My eyes meet Rachel’s and it takes a great deal of effort to not go to her when I see her puffy red eyes.

  “We should be celebrating now with our parents,” I comment looking away from her.

  She slips into the room and straddles me, her small hands cupping my face and turning me to face her. “I know I acted like a two year old, I just couldn’t be around them. I thought I was fine with ignoring my sister, but I’m not. She’s my twin and I love her, just in a different way than I love you. I need you to survive Alexander, and I’m so sorry that I lied to you.

  “My dads love to tease and usually I’d be okay with that and play along, but with lack of sleep, too much sun, and worrying about Paige, it just all got the better of me and I broke down. Please don’t be angry with me. I can’t handle that.”

  I let out a loud exhale and gather her into my arms. “I wish you’d have told me instead of letting me persuade you to wait until we get home to talk to Paige.” I kiss the side of her face. “You need to video chat with her, and really talk.”

  “I called her before I cried myself to sleep. She told me to tell you that she loves you, and that we’re back to being twins.”

  I tip her face up to mine, so I can watch her eyes. “Did she say why she’d been acting the way she has?”

  “She said she was jealous. That I was hers and now I’m yours.” I scrunch my brows together. “I got the feeling she was hiding something, but at least we’re friends again.”

  Her face nuzzles into the crook of my neck. “Please don’t let things linger on your mind, Rachel. You can always talk to me.”

  “I know and until I got upset, I hadn’t realized I had so much simmering. It was just there, under the surface and once I’d started I couldn’t stop and I needed to be here. I wanted you with me, but I didn’t want to take you away from visiting with your parents.”

  I rearrange us so that we’re both lying on the sofa, and admit, “You are going to be my wife, and that means you will always come first. I need you to accept that, Rachel. Yes, it was nice seeing my parents away from home, but it wasn’t the same because you weren’t with me.”

  “God, I really screwed up today.” She covers her face with her arm, which I tug back down. “Are we good? I need us to be good.”

  “We’re more than good.” I dip my head and capture her lips in a lingering kiss. “We’re together which is everything.”

  “Ugh,” she grumbles and pushes me away so that she can kneel on the sofa facing me. “I’m so embarrassed by the way I acted. What will your parents think? Oh God, and mine.”

  I laugh. “Rachel, my parents have known you since you were a baby. They’ve known you through those awkward teenage years.” I grin and kiss her on the nose. “They’ve known you when you were dressed for prom and I wanted to kill the boy with his arm around your back.”

  She leans forward laughing. “He didn’t stand a chance, from the moment I’d realized I love you.”

  Moving closer, I tease, “Is that right?” I toss my shirt to the floor.

  “Oh, yes.” Her dress and bra follow my shirt closely. “When he kissed me, I imagined it was you.”

  “What? That asshole kissed you?”

  “I did think about you at the time. That should make you happy.”

  “Hmm.” I tackle her to the sofa and moan when I fill my hands with her bottom in thin silk panties. “You drive me crazy.” I hover over her. “I love you, Rachel. That won’t ever change.”

  She brushes the hair back from my forehead. “I love you too, Alexander. So much.”

  I quickly kiss her on the lips and move down her writhing body to the tiny panties. These have driven me nuts all day, kno
wing she had them on. All I’d wanted to do was take them off with my teeth.

  I nip her mound through the sheer material and smile when she pushes her pussy against my mouth wanting more. Spreading her legs wide, I nuzzle and nip through the material enjoying the teasing.

  Her fingers spread through my hair, holding me against her. “Too many clothes,” she whispers, her voice rough, filled with desire.

  I’m the one wearing too many clothes, so I quickly pull away and remove my pants and shorts. Her eyes darken while she looks me over. Knowing what she likes, I wrap my fist around my erection and start jerking myself off. That soon ends when I watch her slip her fingers into her panties, nearly causing me to come all over them.

  Another time.

  I rip the material away and growl when she arches, her large breasts pushed together. “I’m not going to survive this,” I hiss, putting my tongue between her swollen folds. I swirl my tongue in her arousal while my hips pump into the sofa cushion. I’m too far-gone to give a shit about anything but our pleasure right now.

  My tongue enters her and the minute it does, she comes.

  She gasps and rubs her pussy on my mouth while I suck and fuck her.

  “More,” she shouts, thrashing her head on the cushion.

  Rising above, I guide my throbbing cock and thrust forward. Her walls immediately grip me so tightly that my eyes cross with pleasure, and then without even moving I’m coming. I grind against her hard clit with my pelvis while my dick squirts semen into her.

  I wrap my arms around her hips and clamp my lips around one of her engorged nipples, suckling, causing hard contractions within her, around my cock.

  So fucking good.

  “I can’t stop,” I grunt thrusting hard. “Can’t stop.” I bury my face between her breasts—heaven.

  My hips pump and thrust and there is nothing I can do to stop. Rachel doesn’t want me to stop and her fingernails digging into my ass cause another release to rush through me, and I’m thankful when Rachel joins me.

  Not only do I not want her frustrated, not that I’d ever leave her in that condition, but it feels more amazing than I can ever describe when we come at the same time. The pressure surrounding my cock when that happens is unbelievably good.

  “My ass is wet,” she comments, her nails dragging up my back sends shivers through me. “Your penis released so much semen in me that it’s running out,” she explains.

  Groaning, I bury my face into her neck and fail miserably at controlling my laughter. “Although I love that explanation, I think less explicit would be good, or I’m not going to be able to walk tomorrow.” To show her what I mean my hips rock.

  “How are you still hard?” she asks, amused.

  “I only have to think about you to be in this condition, and being buried inside of you while you talk about my penis and semen, is hot as fuck.” I bite a nipple and tease, “I also have the image in my head of me sitting on this sofa while you bounce on my cock, your breasts swaying and jiggling in front of my face.”

  I thrust and grind, watching as her eyes half close. “Yes.”

  28

  Rachel

  The apartment that I shared with Paige, no longer feels lived in. Looking around, I can’t quite put my finger on it, but something is different.

  Paige isn’t here because the place is too quiet, but where is she?

  After a month in Italy with Alexander it feels even stranger being here without him, but I persuaded him to stay in Lexington because talking to Paige face-to-face is something I have to do alone. I know he was hurt with my decision, but he told me he understood, and I really hope he meant that.

  Although I’ve spoken to Paige a few times from Italy something had felt off, which is why I’m here the day after arriving back in the states. I’m worried about her.

  Her bedroom door is ajar, so I slowly enter and frown. Her bed hasn’t been slept in. She could have a boyfriend but surely she’d have mentioned it if she had. I move into the kitchen area and open the fridge. No food—only a few cans of diet coke. The cupboards are also half empty.

  A key being placed in the lock to the apartment reaches my ears. I turn and find Ramon coming through the door looking tired. Actually he looks exhausted.

  “What’s going on?” I ask, startling him.

  “You’re here,” he states. “I thought you’d have stayed in Lexington a few more days before coming to find Paige.”

  “Where is she? And Please don’t lie to me.”

  He nods and drops onto the sofa. “She’s with Noah.”

  “That doesn’t answer my question.”

  I realize there is something terribly wrong when he holds my gaze. My feet take me closer to him and my legs give way, dropping me beside him.

  “The day everyone met in Stowe for Charlotte’s wedding, she received a phone call from her doctor here in Boston.” He swallows hard and looks away. “She’s sick, Rachel, and the biggest issue has been her not wanting anyone to know.”

  “What’s wrong?” I ask my eyes filling with tears.

  “She hadn’t been feeling well, and after numerous tests, they decided to operate. She was fully aware that there was a possibility of losing her womb during the operation to remove the growth attached to it. That happened.”

  When I see the tears on my dads face, I climb onto his lap like I did when I was a child and wrap myself around him. Offering comfort while taking my own.

  “They said they got it all, but to be on the safe side, she’s having radiotherapy.” He grips me so tight; I can hardly breathe until he loosens his hold. “She’s going to be okay.”

  I nod, crying into his chest. “Why didn’t she tell me? She’s my twin. I’d have been here with her every single day.”

  “She was angry because of the situation she’d found herself in, and she lashed out at you. She’s sorry about that now, she didn’t want you to find out while you had the chance to finish up your language program in Italy.”

  “I need to see her.”

  “I know.”

  “You’re exhausted though, so tell me where she is and I’ll go to her while you get some rest.” I frown. “You’re not staying here though, right? It doesn’t feel like anyone has been here for a while.”

  “We’re at the hotel next to the hospital. I’ve come to get her a couple of books from your bookcase.”

  “Then we’ll get the books, and I’ll take them too her while you rest.”

  Dad goes to argue but I put my hand over his mouth. “I don’t want to have to worry about you and Dad making yourselves sick. Promise Dad that you’ll look after yourselves as well?”

  “I promise.”

  “Will you get the books from my room.” I move to sit in the armchair. “I didn’t pack all of them, so there should still be some there. I need a minute.”

  He nods and disappears into my room while I try and control my emotions. How do I forgive myself for living my life so happily while she’s suffered through so much? “I should have been here for her. I would have been if I’d known.”

  “She knows that, honey.” Ramon leans against the doorjamb, listening to my private conversation with myself. “You ready to go?”

  No.

  I nod.

  The minute we enter the hospital the nerves in my belly grow until I feel dizzy with fear. My palms are sweaty and my forehead feels clammy.

  Ramon glances at me from the corner of his eye, a worried looking passing over his features.

  Hospitals have always made me nervous but add in the fact that I’m going visiting my sick sister. My twin. The guilt that is eating away inside of me is unbearable. I was so selfish, when she needed me the most. Why didn’t I realize she needed me?

  “Stop!” Ramon makes me jump with the sharpness of his tone. He turns me to face him. “You have done absolutely nothing wrong. Paige made the decision to keep this to herself. She didn’t even tell us, Rachel.” His voice cracks. “We only found out because we’d arrived
to talk to her as she was getting into a cab. We followed and confronted her.”

  He shakes his head. “She’s always been the stubborn one.” He smiles. “You can’t blame yourself for anything. Paige is to blame for not telling anyone. No one else but Paige. Of course, we’d never tell her that because then she’ll be upset, and she already has enough to deal with. But please don’t blame yourself for anything.”

  Ramon pulls me into his arms and holds me close. “Noah and I have always loved you for who you are. That will never change.” He cups my face in his rough hands. “I’m so sorry we hurt you in Italy. We love both our girls unconditionally.” He moves closer and holds his lips against my forehead in a lingering kiss.

  “Let’s go and see your sister.”

  “I’m afraid,” I admit.

  He wraps an arm around my shoulders and keeps it there as we enter Paige’s room.

  Paige and Noah turn to the open doorway and are surprised to see me with Ramon. I hold Paige’s gaze and burst into tears seconds after she does.

  I run to her bed, and kicking my shoes off, I climb in with her, minding the wires and her stomach. We cling together, and I only faintly hear the door closing.

  I had the feeling that I’d be in tears the moment I laid eyes on her, and that’s exactly what I did. It feels good to be with my sister again and I’ve missed her so much.

  “I want to be angry that you didn’t tell me, but seeing you now, I can’t be.”

  “I’m so sorry Rachel.” Paige sniffles. “I wanted you with me, but at the same time I knew how long you’d waited to be with Alexander. I know I was a bitch to you both. I just wasn’t handling the news well at all. I didn’t know what to do.”

  “You’re my twin, and Alexander would have wanted to be here for us both if he’d known.” I wipe my tears away. “Let’s not talk about what should have happened, but about what’s going to happen now.”

  “What do you want to know?”

  “Everything, Paige. And don’t even consider leaving anything out. I mean it.”