Counting Goodbyes

by Whitney Cannavina

  Pouting, Evangeline continues as if I hadn’t spoken. “Awe. Is the poor little orphan girl gonna cry?” Sniffling, I ignore her words while brushing away and invisible spot on my apron. “I saw you talking to Austin.” My ears perk at this. Could this be why she is being cruel to me? Because she want’s Austin and assumes I am making a move or some crap like that? God. This is exactly like those cheesy teen movies where the geeky and understatedly beautiful girl gets the hot and popular star athlete while the hot, popular queen B of the school makes her life a living hell. The difference is I’m not that understatedly beautiful girl. I’m just the plain Jane. And I am not getting the guy at the end.

  “He approached me and we’re just friends. Besides, I am going on a date with Beau.”

  Evangeline quirks an eyebrow, somewhat thrown off by my news. “Well in that case, bravo. Beau is handsome.” For a moment I think she’s done, but her malicious grin tells me she’s not. “Be sure to leave Austin alone when Beau gets through with you. I’d hate for your good girl reputation to be tarnished.” Flipping her hair, she turns and asks her friends what they would like.

  During the whole scene, I replay what she said and try not to think much about it. Was she worried Austin would want me? After seeing just how beautiful she is, even with her cruel demeanor, she’s the perfect match for Austin. And what about Beau? She seemed almost gleeful at the prospect of me seeing him. Is there something wrong with him? Is he a bad guy? Or was it that she already dated him so now she feels as if I am getting her seconds? Who cares about that? Everyone has a past and we are all seconds to someone. Well, except for me since I have never really dated before now. If there were an issue, Bobby would have mentioned it. She’s been kind to me from the beginning, so I doubt she would hide anything that could be concerning.

  After serving each of the girls their cone with a single scoop, they take a seat in the corner of the shop, whispering to each other, giggling, and glancing at me periodically. I know they are probably talking crap, but at this point I could care less. I just wished they would leave already. Their snickers are getting on my nerves.

  To pass the time, I wipe everything down and make sure the cones, bowls, napkins, and anything else that are low are stocked while helping customers in between. The job is easy but sometimes the passing of time is slow. Having only a few customers come in, most likely due to all the parents shopping for supplies their children need for school, today seems to be moving exceptionally slow. Having Evangeline here gossiping doesn’t help either. I am just ready for the day to end already.

  By the time I arrive home after getting off work and stopping at the Dollar Mart to grab some extra folders and paper for class, I fall into my bed with relief. I’m home and I can finally relax. The aroma of spices wafting in from the kitchen causes my stomach to grumble with hunger. Checking the clock, I decide I have just enough time to shower before sitting down at dinner. By the time I’m cleaned and dressed in my yoga pants and tank top, I’m called to come eat.

  “Kayla!” My brothers excited shouts startle me.

  “Hey guys. How was school?”

  Jayden speaks first. “School was awesome!” Bouncing in his seat with delight, the ear-splitting grin slides easily on my face. I love how easily they become excited.

  “I love my class. The teacher has this picture of the world.” Jackson’s amazement at the world is refreshing. If he knew the true horrors of what the world has to offer, he may not find it so beautiful.

  “The world?” I query.

  Jayden nods his head with large round eyes the same as Jackson’s.

  “Did you guys learn anything today?” Levi inquires.

  “Nah. The teacher just talked a lot.” Quirking his eyebrow, I try to hide my laugh, while Levi and Sarah shake their heads in disbelief. I’m not sure what’s funnier. The fact that the teacher most likely taught the class something of importance today, or that Jackson and Jayden seem to have no idea what it is that they were supposed to have learned.

  “Kayla how was your first day?” Sarah busies herself with divvying out the salad onto our plates while she waits for my answer. How was my first day? Good question.

  “It was fine. Nothing exciting to report.” Shrugging my shoulders, I don’t know if I should mention my date to them just yet. I’m still adjusting to the thought of going on a date.

  “Your teachers were they nice?”

  “Yeah. But they all were on the fast track to getting the year started. I think they were trying to kill me with textbooks.” Chuckling, I begin to slice the piece of chicken Levi placed on my plate along with potato wedges, and the salad that Sarah provided me. “I had to bring most of them home, but I left two in my locker that I would have to bring to class with me, along with my notebooks and folders. Then in English class, we were given a five hundred-page book to read within two weeks so all in all; I had a busy and productive day that thankfully didn’t end with a broken spine from the weight of my books.”

  “That sure is a heavy load.” Jayden retorts.

  “Just you wait little buddy. When you get to high school, you’ll have just as many books as me, maybe more.” Winking at him, I turn back to my plate and eat the delicious meal Sarah cooked for us.

  “Thank you for dinner, Sarah. It was yummy.” Rinsing my plate and fork off, I lay it in the sink and head to my room to start on my homework. Yeah, that’s right. I have homework on my first day of school. I have fifty math problems for calculus, twenty questions that require minimum two paragraphs for my English class, and so much more. If college is anything like this, I am so totally screwed.

  Hearing my phone vibrate, I pull it out of my bag and check my messages. There are four from Lacy and one from an unknown number. I open Lacy’s messages first knowing I need to calm her down before she sends the cavalry out to find me.

  Lacy: What?! Tell me everything.

  Hello?

  Kayla, you better not be ignoring me. I only have a short break before I have to get back to work.

  KAYLA!!!

  Me: I’m here. Calm yourself. Call me when you get off work and I’ll tell you everything.

  Lacy: You better. I’m off in two hours.

  FYI. I hate these stupid customers always asking for help.

  Lacy is a very exuberant person. You would think she would love talking to customers but apparently not. Opening the second message, I don’t recognize the number, but the area code is from here.

  Unknown: Hey beautiful.

  Me: Who’s this and how did you get my number?

  Unknown: Don’t tell me you forgot about me already?

  Me: Beau???

  Unknown: No. Why would Beau be texting you?

  Me: I don’t know. Maybe because we have a date on Friday and he wanted to finalize a time. Why are you texting me?

  Unknown: You and Beau have a date?

  Me: That’s what I said.

  Unknown: Why?

  Me: Ok. I hate this whole texting thing. Call me so I know whom I am talking to.

  A moment later my phone vibrates with an incoming call from the same unknown number that was texting me only moments ago.

  “Hello?” If I had a name to go with the number then I could answer with a hello, insert name here. I wait to hear the voice on the other end of the line to say something, but they stay quiet only further irritating me.

  “You know, it’s quite rude to text and call someone who hadn’t given you their number to begin with, and then after calling, you don’t reply with even a hello.”

  “Beautiful.” Austin’s deep, husky voice tinged with warning instantly sooths my irritation and surprises me. If the surprise is a good thing or not, is still debatable.

  “Austin.” I breathe out. God, I sound like those sappy women who fall at a gorgeous man’s feet willing to do anything they ask. Clearing my throat, I start again. “How did you get my number?”

  “I have my ways.” I say nothing, wondering if he’ll elaborate if I stay sil
ent. On a sigh Austin explains. “Bobby gave me your number this afternoon.”

  “Oh.” I wait a beat, wondering what to say next, instead coming up blank. I have no idea how to do this whole talking to boy’s thing. I’ve never really been on the receiving end of a boy’s interest, so this is new territory. Do I talk about school, myself, ask him questions? What’s the protocol? I wish I had Lacy or Bobby here to help me figure this out.

  “You mentioned you have a date with Beau. When is this date supposed to happen?”

  Did I just hear Austin growl?

  “He asked me today if we could go out Friday. I agreed. It’s not really a big deal.” I try to play it down, but I have no idea my date with Beau is a big deal or not. Now if I had a date with Austin; that could be a big deal. My silly girl crush on Austin has even this conversation on the list of ‘things that are a big deal,’ list.

  “It’s a big deal, Makayla.” I love hearing my name as Austin’s deep rumble utters it like a prayer and punishment. “Do you like Beau?”

  “What is this, twenty questions?” That’s right Makayla. Keep the invisible ball in your court. Play hard to get.

  “No, just curious. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Austin’s abrupt end to the conversation shocks me and before I can say anything more, the line clicks. Why is it that I feel a significant loss now that he is no longer on the phone? I should feel irritated that he questioned me about my date, but instead I feel a thrill at his jealousy. Maybe there is more to his feelings than I originally thought.

  Sometime later as I sit in my room finishing up my homework, I feel my phone vibrate with an incoming call. Hope blooms in my chest, wanting to see Austin’s name flash across the screen. Seeing Lacy’s name instead, slight disappointment flares before I realize how ridiculous I’m acting. I swipe the green phone to answer.

  “You have a date?” Lacy squeals out without giving me a chance to say hello.

  “Well hello to you too.”

  “Eh, no need for hello’s. Just tell me how on the first day of school you already have a date for the weekend? That’s gotta be like some kind of record.”

  “Gee thanks.”

  “Oh, you know what I mean. I’m not saying you’re not dateable just that you never give any guy a chance to ask, and now you have a date.”

  “What can I say? I’ve turned over a new leaf. I thought about what you said before I left. I decided you were right. It’s my senior year. I’m starting over in a new town, new school, new family. It’s time I step out of my comfort zone and try new things.”

  “You’re actually going to take my advice?”

  “I just thought I would try it out. If I don’t like it, I’ll go back to being a wallflower.” Although, feeling my nerves kick in just thinking about all the changes I’ve made and new things I plan to experience, I almost want to go back to being just that, a wallflower and hide in the background.

  “I wish I were there to watch you start to really live life.” Hearing the pout in her voice, I wish she were here to. “You better keep me updated.”

  “I will.”

  “So, about this date, tell me all about what you’re doing, where you’re going, and who the guy is. I want details!” Lacy shouts causing her mom to yell back, asking to keep her enthusiasm to a quiet roar. I laugh, missing my best friend and wishing I had her here with me. Telling her about how I met Beau, how he asked, and what he said we we’re going to do, Lacy’s excitement starts to rub off on me. Maybe this won’t be so bad. I may just find it to be the best night of my life.

  Hanging up the phone, I notice an unread text message by the same unknown number as before that I now have listed as ‘Austin aka Gorgeous’ I open his text.

  Austin aka Gorgeous: Don’t go on that date with Beau.

  Go out with me.

  Feeling confused by his words, the thrill of knowing he wants to go on a date with me soon becomes drowned out by the fact I have no idea why he would want to date me. Is it because I am dating his friend? Is this a game between them or is he actually interested in me? Why is he waiting until now to ask me on a date? Why hadn’t he asked me sooner? What would I say to Beau if I agree to a date with Austin?

  So many questions and too many possibilities plague me. Choosing to ignore the message, there is nothing I can say to Austin when I don’t even know what I want, or what I should do. Deciding to sleep on it, I shut my phone off and turn in for the night.

  Chapter 10

  Kiss me under

  the light of a

  thousand stars

  -Ed Sheeran-

  As the rest of the week flies by, I realize the football game that Beau wants to take me to is a huge deal in this town. Banners are posted throughout the school all over the halls and on the football player’s lockers, while the cheerleaders decorated the doors with pictures, balloons, and ‘Go Team’ banners. School spirit is definitely in the air.

  Tonight’s game is away, yet the students and townsfolk support the team regardless if they have a kid playing or not. It seems just about everyone that lives in this town are following the team to the next town over to watch them play. I’ve never seen or heard of anything like it. Where I lived in California, most of the students and people who lived in town didn’t follow the team on an away game unless the game was at a school that was close by or they were the families or friends of a player.

  Beau explained to me that he was also a player and that even though we are supposed to have our date that night, he would still like to take me to dinner before the game and the party after. When he’s on the field, Beau suggested I sit with Bobby and watch him, ‘kick butt’. Beau’s excitement over our date made me realize that I couldn’t back out. I told Beau yes when he asked and I’m not going to back out just because someone else who makes my heart beat out of my chest whenever they breathe in my direction, asks me to go out with him instead. It would be cruel not to follow through and see what happens. Who knows? Maybe I’ll have a lot of fun, enjoy our time together, and maybe find I like Beau more than for his humor and fun-loving attitude. Besides, there is no point for me to back out when I have no idea what Austin’s true intent is.

  During class, Austin continued to pester me about going on a date with him, not seeming to care that Beau was his friend. When we weren’t in class together, he was gruff and brooding acting as if someone kicked his puppy. I’m not sure if it’s because I continually turned him down, if Evangeline constantly hanging on him was getting on his nerves, or if it was something else. Maybe it was a combination of issues, I have no idea.

  “What is her problem? Did you steal her lip gloss or something?” Bobby questions as she stares down Evangeline. Shrugging, I shake my head in answer.

  “Not sure. She came into my work earlier this week and basically claimed Austin, inevitably telling me to keep my paws off of him. She didn’t seem to understand that I have nothing going on with him.”

  “Are you sure about that? Because that boy has not once taken his eyes off of you.” Glancing over at Austin leaning against his locker, he watches me with a determined stare, so I turn back to mine, digging through the textbooks to find the one I need for my next class to avoid him.

  “He asked me not to go on my date with Beau and to go out with him. I turned him down, though.”

  “You did what?” Bobby whisper exclaims. Shoving my locker closed, I slide my arm through Bobby’s while shushing her, as we head to our next class.

  “Quiet, will ya? I turned him down because it wouldn’t be right to dump Beau before we even went out just to go out with his best friend. Beau is nice, even if he is a major flirt. I couldn’t do that to him.” Bobby chews her lip, contemplating what to say.

  “Ok. I get that. Beau probably wouldn’t have taken it personally though. He seems to be pretty easy going.”

  “Maybe, but I still think I should keep our date. I need to at least give him that chance.”

  “Fine, fine. But if it doesn’t work out with Beau, ple
ase tell me you will tell Austin yes to a date?”

  “I don’t know if I want to date Austin.” As gorgeous and kind as he has been, I could see him shattering my heart and stomping on it, ruining me for any future relationships. Not that I think he would intentionally hurt me. I know if I fall for Austin James, there will be no going back. I need to keep my distance because I am just not ready for any more heartache.

  “Why not?” Bobby questions, as if she knows there’s more to my answer.

  “Because if I date Austin, there won’t be anything left of me when he’s done.” The sadness tingeing my words catches Bobby’s by surprise, but she leaves it alone.

  “Ok. Let’s make plan to meet up at the game tonight so we can watch Beau kick some butt.” Grateful for the change of subject I nod my head before walking into our last class.

  ****

  “Do I look ok?” Asking my brothers is probably not the best option but it’s all I have at the moment. Taking a slow spin around with my arms spread out, my simple outfit seems just that, simple. I don’t have much in the way of sexy, blow your mind clothing but my black skinny jeans, knee high biker boots, and cream colored flirty shirt that hangs off one shoulder; I hope I look the part of a girl ready for a date and a party. Not that I want to be known as a party girl, but I need an outfit that can go good with a dinner date, football game, and after party.

  “You look beautiful.” The sweet cadence in Jayden’s tone tells me I’m on target. That is, if I want to take a child’s point of view. Jackson nods his head in agreement seeming distracted by the Gameboy in his hand.

  When I finally got the nerve to tell my dad and Sarah about my date, Sarah was excited while my dad groaned in exasperation. It took some convincing, but Sarah warmed my dad up to the idea of letting me go on this date. I promised them that I would have my phone on me at all times on vibrate in my back pocket, so I would know if they needed to get ahold of me. I gave them the rundown of what we were doing for our date, and I promised them if I had any trouble or needed them to come get me, I would call. The only thing they requested was that they meet Beau. I understood this. I believe they had already mentioned that when they gave me the rules of the house, so I immediately let Beau know Wednesday morning when he greeted me at my locker that in order to take me out he had to meet the parents.