by Noelle Adams
He wasn’t just a slacker.
He was a person, just like her.
And he could change.
He could get better.
She gave Michelle a sheepish smile. “You’re right. You’re totally right.”
“I didn’t mean to give you a little lecture about it.”
“Well, I deserved a little lecture. You’re totally right. I know how great Lucas is. I really do. But I have been kind of… forcing him into a box. It just felt… safer that way.”
“Yeah,” Michelle murmured. “I kind of had a feeling about that.”
Jill felt herself blushing slightly, but she didn’t deny the implication. She didn’t like to keep secrets from Michelle, and her feelings about Lucas definitely weren’t easy or safe.
With a sigh, she said, “Just think how much I’ve changed since I moved here. When you first met me, did you ever think I’d be anything except that silly, clinging girl who followed a man around and tried to mold herself into what he wanted because she was too scared to let him go?”
“You weren’t that bad,” Michelle said, immediately defending Jill, even against Jill herself. “You were never that bad. You just… wanted a stable life, and you thought you’d found it in Ted. It was totally understandable.”
“Maybe. But I’m glad I changed. I’m glad I… got better. I’m a lot happier not pouring myself out to keep a man who would only give me a few pieces of himself.”
“Well, yeah. Obviously. We’re all a lot happier when we’re not doing that.”
LUCAS DIDN’T MIND WEDDINGS.
And he didn’t mind helping Jill out by attending this one with her even though she’d made it very clear it wasn’t a date.
He liked being Jill’s friend, and he liked helping her out. Going to a wedding for a couple of hours wasn’t any sort of burden, particularly since his schedule was loose most of the time.
But Jill could have worn a different dress.
She definitely should have worn a different dress.
A dress that looked less like lingerie.
He would have been much happier and more comfortable if she had.
It wasn’t that her dress exposed an inappropriate amount of skin. It was short, but women’s dresses were often short and there was nothing wrong with that. It was made like a sundress.
A lot of women had sundresses on at the wedding today even though it was a little chilly.
Jill had been wearing some sort of little sweater when they’d left.
He’d thought she’d looked pretty and had been perfectly comfortable with the whole situation.
Then she’d taken her sweater off when they got settled in their pew in the church.
Her dress had thick lace straps and some sort of a thin sash just under her breasts. It was made of a thin material—not silk or satin but something that looked like it was slippery—and it was a pale purplish-pink color.
It could have been lingerie, one of those little gown things women wore when they wanted to look sexy. That’s what it made Lucas think of anyway.
And now he couldn’t think of anything else.
He was trying to be a decent guy. He was going out of his way to not make a move on Jill, no matter how much he wanted to. He’d resisted even when she’d had her hands all over him and was tempting him into bed with her.
He was trying to be good, and the universe was conspiring to torture him for it.
Jill was sitting beside him wearing lingerie, and he couldn’t drag his eyes away from her.
She wasn’t showing any cleavage at all, but the fabric seemed to cling to the curve of her breasts. They looked touchable.
So touchable.
Nothing but touchable.
And he wasn’t allowed to touch.
His body definitely wasn’t remembering that fact.
He was uncomfortably aroused as the wedding progressed, and it wasn’t going away. Instead of watching the bride and groom, his eyes kept slipping over to Jill beside him.
Her legs were crossed, and she seemed to have some sort of stockings on. Not thick tights like she often wore. Something thin with lace on the top. He knew that because once her skirt had slipped a little too high, and he had immediately taken notice.
The church was full. The couple was obviously popular, and it felt like half the town was in attendance. So he had to sit very close to Jill because there were so many people squeezed into the pew. He’d draped an arm around the back of the seat to get it out of the way, but it ended up around her.
He could smell her.
He could feel every time she made the smallest movement.
And she might as well have been wearing lingerie.
He shifted in his seat again, praying that the wedding would be over soon.
The bride and groom were exchanging vows. They both looked incredibly happy.
Lucas would have been happy for them had he not been suffering torture at the moment.
Why the hell had Jill worn that dress?
When the ceremony finally wrapped up and the wedding party recessed out, Lucas almost groaned in relief.
He needed to stand up.
He needed some air.
He needed to get away from Jill for a few minutes so he could get his body back under control.
When everyone stood up and started filing out of their pews, Lucas stretched his back and buttoned his suit jacket quickly, hoping it would hide his physical condition from any stray looks. When he saw Jill’s little sweater lying on the pew, he picked it up and draped it over one wrist, using it to better shield the part in question.
She glanced back at him. “I was going to get that.”
“No problem.” It sounded like he was grumbling because his voice was too thick, but there wasn’t anything he could do about that.
Jill shot him a quick look as they waited for their pew to start moving out into the main aisle. “You didn’t have to come if you were going to be in a bad mood about it.”
“What?” Lucas asked with a flash of annoyance because Jill was obviously so clueless about all the ways he was suffering.
“You didn’t have to come.”
“I wanted to come. I’m not in a bad mood.”
“You could have fooled me. All that fidgeting through the whole service, and now all the grumbling.”
“I’m not grumbling.” He objected on principle even though he himself had realized it sounded like he was grumbling just a minute before.
She gave him an impatient look but didn’t argue. She was starting to walk, and he followed her, but evidently she’d started too soon.
She had to come to an abrupt halt when the person in front of her stopped, and Lucas was in the middle of taking a step so he ran right into her.
The impact jarred his body quiet dangerously.
He smothered a groan as his arousal throbbed intensely. He needed to step backward. He was pressed up against her back. But her little body was warm and soft and everything he wanted.
He didn’t pull back quite quickly enough.
Jill sucked in a quick breath and whirled around, her eyes wide. “What?” she gasped. “What?”
“What what?” he asked, although he knew exactly what she was responding to.
She’d evidently felt his condition.
It was kind of hard to miss at the moment.
She was looking down to where he was draping the sweater, and her expression was confused and strangely urgent. “What the hell, Lucas?”
There wasn’t anything he could say.
He was turned on. Shamelessly turned on.
In the middle of church at an afternoon wedding.
Jill was looking around now, that same urgency on her face. “What’s gotten into you? Were you sitting there leering at someone during the wedding? What’s wrong with you?” She was talking softly. Almost a whisper.
Lucas replied in the same hushed tone, even though his words were indignant. She evidently had no idea that he’d gotten t
urned on by her. She was looking around for someone else who might have done that to him. “What’s wrong with me? With me? You’re the one wearing that dress.”
The people in their pew had moved on, but Jill was clearly too distracted to take her turn. She looked down at herself in obvious bewilderment and then glared up at him. “What’s wrong with my dress?”
“It’s… it’s…”
“It’s what?” She examined herself again and then turned her head to scan the rows of people leaving the church, as if comparing her outfit to other women’s to verify its appropriateness.
“It’s like underwear!” Lucas burst out in that same harsh whisper.
She gasped again and crossed her arms over her chest in what was almost certainly an instinctive gesture. “It is not. It doesn’t show that much skin. It doesn’t!”
“I don’t care how much skin it shows. It makes me think about underwear, and I’m sorry, but my body responds to that.”
“You’re crazy! It’s not like underwear. It’s a normal dress.” She appeared torn between annoyance and self-consciousness and confusion, and it wasn’t at all clear which one would come out on top. “Look at her dress over there, and then tell me something’s wrong with mine.”
Lucas looked over, scanning the young woman in question. Her dress was made almost exactly like Jill’s—just a different color and with thinner straps. He could see that objectively.
But the other woman’s dress didn’t fire up all the lust in his body. It didn’t get him all wound up this way.
Jill’s did.
So he knew there was a difference.
“I’m not showing cleavage or anything,” Jill said. “There’s nothing inappropriate about what I’m wearing.”
He looked down toward her neckline and saw something else. “Look,” he said, his muscles tightening again and his erection giving another throb at the outline of her tight nipples beneath the fabric of her dress.
She made a little choking sound when she saw what he was staring at. “I can’t help that! And they weren’t like that the whole time. It just happened, and it’s your fault they did that!”
“Why is it my fault?”
“Because you’re standing there all hot and sexy and turned on, and it’s making my nipples… do things. I can’t control them. It’s not the dress. This is your fault!” She was still talking as soft as ever, but she might as well have been yelling at him. Her eyes were angry, and her hands were clenched at her sides.
Despite his physical condition, Lucas got one of those sudden flashes—a vision of them and their conversation from the outside—and it made his mouth twitch slightly.
She narrowed her eyes. “Don’t you dare, Lucas. Don’t you dare make me laugh. I’m angry with you right now, and you deserve it.”
“I know I do,” he said, his voice wobbling as much as his mouth.
Jill’s response spilled over in a little giggle, and it was absolutely irresistible. He had to twist his hands in her sweater to stop himself from reaching out for her.
“Damn it, Lucas,” she said, trying to hide her laughter with one hand. “This is all your fault.”
“You’re right,” he admitted, smiling for real although his arousal was still painfully tight. “Making you laugh is my fault. And your nipples are my fault. And getting turned on is my fault too. It’s not the fault of your lingerie dress.”
“It’s not lingerie. It’s a perfectly good dress.” She looked around her and then said in a stage whisper, “But give me back my sweater. I’m going to put it on.”
“No way. I need your sweater at the moment. It’s serving a strategic purpose.”
“I need it! I’ve got to go to the reception at my boss’s wedding, and I don’t want anyone else to mistake my dress for underwear.” When Lucas didn’t move, she added, “Take off your jacket and use that. I need my sweater.”
That seemed like a reasonable compromise, so he handed the sweater back and replaced it with his suit jacket.
Even when she put the sweater on, Lucas’s body didn’t really behave itself.
He wanted her as much now as he had before.
It had been more than six weeks since they’d had their night together. His desire should be diminishing by now. He should be ready to move on.
He always was.
He rode the tide, waiting for it take him wherever it wanted to go.
He was normally ready for it by now.
But he wasn’t.
He still wanted her just as much, and it didn’t seem to matter what she was wearing.
He wanted her just the same.
DESPITE THE FIASCO over her dress, Jill had a really good time at the reception. Lucas found a restroom and came back in much better condition.
And she had fun with him.
She enjoyed him.
The reception was just heavy hors d’oeuvres, so they didn’t have to sit through a long, plated dinner. They found a well-positioned table and stuffed themselves on yummy food and champagne. Lucas was engaging and amusing, and he charmed everyone who came over to say hello to her. And he even danced with her after the bride and groom had had their first dance.
He wasn’t much of a dancer, and she wasn’t either, but it didn’t matter. They moved together, and she enjoyed it, and as far as she could tell he did too.
She’d been planning to stay at the reception an hour at the longest, but two hours passed and she had no pressing desire to leave.
She did have to eventually go the bathroom, and as she was coming out, she ran into Carol, the bride.
“Jill!” Carol said, reaching out to give her a hug. “Thank you so much for coming!”
“Thank you for inviting me. It was beautiful. I’m so happy for you and Patrick.”
“I’m so happy for us too,” Carol said, flushed and visibly emotional. “I can’t believe we’re actually married. I’ve been crazy about him for what feels like forever.”
“Well, no one deserves to be happy more than you do.” Jill meant what she said. Carol was one of the most genuinely good-hearted people she had ever met.
“Now tell me about your date,” Carol said in a different tone. “He’s absolutely gorgeous!”
Jill felt herself blushing. “Oh. He’s… he’s not really my date.”
“He’s sure acting like your date. I see the way he’s been looking at you.”
“Oh no. No. It’s nothing like that. He’s actually my roommate. He’s the guy who moved into our spare room. Remember? I was wanting you to move in?”
“Yes, I remember. You didn’t want to move in with another guy. But what a guy he turned out to be.”
Jill shook her head. She felt fluttery, but she knew that was dangerous, so she tried to stamp the flutters out. “It’s really not like that. I mean, I like him. A lot. And he’s obviously… I mean, he looks the way he looks. But it would never work between us. We want totally different things. He’s… he’s not looking for a real relationship, and you know that’s what I want.”
Carol’s face fell slightly. “Oh. That’s really a shame. He seems so… good for you. But there’s no use in hoping for someone who wants something different from you.”
“Yeah,” Jill said, feeling kind of depressed even though she’d always known that was true.
Carol’s mouth turned up slightly. “But at least you can have fun with him for a little while. Right? It doesn’t mean you’re giving up on what you want. It just means you haven’t found it yet.”
Jill stared at the other woman, feeling like she’d been hit with an emotional sledgehammer.
Why did she always have to compare Lucas to the mental image she’d constructed of her forever man? Why did she always have to judge him on those qualities?
Why couldn’t she just take him for who he was? Why couldn’t she just have a little fun with him?
She’d had one really good night with him.
Why shouldn’t she have another?
She wanted to so
much.
She wanted him so much.
“What is it?” Carol asked with a frown.
“Nothing.” Jill shook herself off. “Nothing. You’re absolutely right. At least I can have fun with him for a little while.”
“Good for you.” After giving her a little hug, Carol moved on, and Jill returned to the reception hall to find Lucas.
Lucas was incredible.
There was no denying that fact.
And he was only going to be around for a little while.
He wasn’t her forever man, but why shouldn’t she have a little fun with him while she could.
It didn’t mean she was giving up on her forever.
It just meant she hadn’t found him yet.
Lucas was leaning back in a chair, finishing off a glass of champagne. When she reached him, she tugged on his arm. “Dance with me again.”
“Okay.” He swallowed down the last of his glass, put it down, and put his hand on her back as they went back to the dance floor.
She wrapped her arms around him and pressed her body against him.
He adjusted his stance, easing back from her slightly.
She moved closer.
Lucas leaned down and said into her ear, “Uh, Jill? Remember what you were saying about your nipples being out of your control? There are parts of my body that are equally out of my control, and you’re getting them going right now.”
She was excited now. Her heart was doing a wild gallop. “I’ve got my sweater on over my dress.”
His thick voice wafted against her ear. “It was never about the dress.”
Her whole body leaped in excitement, and she pulled back enough to look him in the eyes.
“What’s going on, Jill?” Lucas asked, sounding hoarse, slightly confused, careful.
“I still want what I want,” she began.
“I know you do.”
“And I know you’re never going to want what I want. But…”
His eyebrows shot up. “But what?”
“But I’m wondering if maybe we can… we can just have a little fun. Until it’s time for us both to move on.”
He stared at her speechlessly, but a fire had awoken in the green of his eyes. It took her breath away.
“You’re serious?” he asked at last.
“Yeah. I don’t know why… why can’t I just have a little fun? What would be wrong with that?”
