The New Year Resolution

by Louise Rose-Innes

  As Nicole was eating him up with her eyes, Ryan was pretty much doing the same thing.

  Her legs looked fantastic in those faded jeans, and the tight T-shirt she wore really emphasised her breasts and tiny waist. He felt the urge to stride over, gather her in his arms and kiss the hell out of her petulant lips, but he refrained, of course. This was neither the time nor the place for that. The days when he could accost her whenever he liked were over.

  “Mummy, are we having a party?” came a little voice from down the passage. It was followed by rapid footsteps and a rhythmic squeak as a pretty, little blonde three-year old wheeled a doll in a pram into the lounge.

  “No sweetie. This is a friend of mine.” Nicole smiled at the little girl. Ryan was aware she purposely didn’t introduce them.

  “Hello,” said Olivia, taking matters into her own hands. “I’m Olivia. Who are you?”

  Ryan smiled and held out the bear. “I’m Ryan. I’ve brought you a present. Do you like bears?”

  Olivia nodded eagerly and clutched the bear to her chest. Nicole looked like she was about to intervene, but then thought better of it.

  “Mom, would you mind taking Olivia to her room while I talk to Ryan?”

  “I’m so sorry, I’m Ryan Jackson. I didn’t see you there.” Ryan hurriedly cut in, walking up to Nicole’s mom and shaking her hand. “And I apologise for all this mayhem.” He nodded to the window. “I know how frustrating it must be.”

  Nicole’s mom shook Ryan’s hand, her eyes darting from Ryan to Nicole and back again. “I think I’ll wait in the bedroom,” she said, picking up Olivia, the doll in the pram and the bear and carrying the lot of them down the passage towards the bedroom.

  “Bye-bye, Ryan,” called Olivia in her sing-song voice.

  Nicole glared at him.

  “You look good,” he remarked, attempting a smile but fearing he’d grimaced instead.

  “Ryan, what are you doing here?” Nicole cut straight to the chase.

  “Aren’t you pleased to see me?” he asked, teasingly.

  “Of course, but I thought we had an agreement. After the holiday everything returns to normal. You don’t bother me. I don’t bother you. Now you’re here, you’ve met my mother and my daughter, and I want to know why?”

  Her no-nonsense tone bought him down to earth. He didn’t like the way she said “bother”, like he was being a pest. That had never happened to him before. It was usually the other way round. But he had wanted to see her, so he persevered.

  “I was worried about you,” he said, dropping his gaze to the floor. “I wanted to make sure you were okay. All this,” he motioned to outside the door, “can come as a bit of a shock.”

  “That’s very kind of you, but as you can see, we’re fine – if you don’t count the journalists and cameramen outside.”

  “Yes, I’m sorry about that. It was never meant to happen.”

  “No. I know. Did you manage to speak to Vincent?” Nicole eyed him suspiciously.

  Ryan flinched. How he wished he could – before any serious damage was done to the project.

  “No, Vincent isn’t back from Medjumbe until the end of next week. I have no choice but to wait and hope he doesn’t hear anything in the interim.”

  Nicole nodded. “So if you aren’t here to tell me about Vincent, why are you here? And don’t make out like you were worried about me, because I know that isn’t the case.”

  Ryan gazed into her clear oval eyes and found himself having doubts. She was so cold. He had known it would be difficult meeting her again but he hadn’t expected quite such a frosty welcome.

  “Actually, that is the truth,” he said, swallowing his words. How could he convince her he really did want to see her again? That an hour didn’t pass without him thinking about her gorgeous body and soft lips? That he still wanted her as much as he did when they were living together on the island?

  “I feel really bad you got dragged into this.”

  Nicole’s shoulders slumped and she sank down onto the couch. “You might have warned me,” she whispered. “I never would have agreed to come with you if I’d know this might happen.”

  “I didn’t know,” he said softly. “I thought we were safe. Nobody even knew I was back in the country.”

  “Somebody obviously did,” scoffed Nicole. She looked up at him with wide eyes. “How long is this going to go on?”

  “Oh, they’ll get tired of you eventually,” remarked Ryan, sitting down next to her. The wooden-based couch creaked under his sudden weight. “Give it a few weeks and things should start quietening down.”

  “It doesn’t help that you appeared.” Nicole gave him a slanted look. “If they’re going to forget about me, it would help if you didn’t keep reminding them.”

  “I know,” murmured Ryan, “but that’s sort of why I wanted to see you.”

  “Oh?” Nicole’s eyes narrowed and Ryan had never felt so awkward before in his life.

  “I was thinking perhaps I was too harsh our last day on the island. I’m really sorry, I acted like a jerk.”

  “Yes, you did,” confirmed Nicole. “But I suppose there was no point in avoiding the fact. We had to have the discussion sooner or later. You just got us there sooner than I’d expected.”

  “This is hard for me to admit,” began Ryan, breaking out into a sweat. “But I was wondering if perhaps we could continue seeing each other for a while.”

  Nicole stared at him. “Are you serious?”

  “Yes, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “I don’t know. You were so adamant before. I didn’t think you felt anything for me....” She let her words fade off.

  Ryan took her hand in his. The contact was a mistake. Immediately he felt like pulling her towards him until her lips met his. Her skin was as soft as he remembered.... He blinked and concentrated on his next words.

  “Of course I do, but my work. It’s always been my priority. I was worried you’d get in the way. That my... feelings for you would keep me from my goal.”

  Nicole stared at his big hand holding hers. Did he really mean that or was he toying with her? Perhaps he missed the regular sex and wanted a bit on the side?

  “How is that going, by the way?” she asked suddenly, deciding to reserve judgement for a while.

  “Good. I’ve got a lot of work to do but I’m getting there.” He didn’t go into detail.

  “And you’re confident Vincent isn’t going to pull out once he realises we’re no longer together?”

  “I hope not because if he does I owe him a great deal of money.” Ryan looked at her apprehensively.

  Suddenly Nicole clicked. How could she have been so stupid?

  “I know why you’re here,” she blurted out, snapping her hand away from his. “You’re trying to make out like we’re still together, aren’t you?”

  At Ryan’s startled look she stood up.

  “For them!” She pointed at the window.

  Ryan looked from Nicole to the window and back again.

  “You’re covering your bases in case Vincent sees a photograph of me and Olivia before you mange to talk to him.” She paused for breath. The anger threatened to overwhelm her. The audacity of the guy.... Was there really no end to what he would do to protect his business?

  “Well, I won’t do it, Ryan. I told you already, my part in this is over. I’m not going to continue your little charade any longer.” She gazed at him with tears in her eyes. “Not even for you. I can’t believe you’d even ask.”

  Ryan slowly got to his feet and said in a strained voice, “I know you don’t believe me, but none of this is for appearance’s sake. I genuinely wanted to see you again and I thought coming here and talking to you in person would help you see that.” He looked around the room. “It turns out I was wrong.”

  “Of course you were wrong. Didn’t we have this discussion already? I don’t have space for someone like you in my life.”

  At least that much was true.

&nb
sp; “You come with publicity and money and demands on my time – all of which I won’t be able to measure up to.” She chocked back her tears. “I’m not like you, Ryan. I’m not from your world.”

  “We’re from the same world, Nicole,” Ryan tried to explain. “Mine got a little out of hand, that’s all. Don’t you want to see me again?”

  Nicole ignored his imploring look. “I’m sorry, Ryan. I don’t trust you and I’m not prepared to be used again. I know it’s for a good cause, but I can’t do it. I won’t put myself, or my family, through that.”

  At Ryan’s disconsolate expression she added, “I’m going to have to ask you to leave now.”

  With her eyes firmly focused on the door Nicole walked across the lounge. Ryan followed her.

  “I’m sorry you feel like that,” he said, not without a trace of bitterness. “I thought maybe we had a chance.”

  Nicole shook her head as she opened the door. “No, Ryan. That was the only reason why I agreed to this in the first place. We never had a chance.”

  It was only after Ryan had scampered down the path and climbed in the safety of his car that Nicole threw herself down on the couch and sobbed her heart out.

  “But you said you didn’t have space for him in your life,” said Janine as she made Nicole a cup of tea. It was a Friday night and Janine had popped round to check on her lacklustre friend.

  “I don’t,” sniffed Nicole. “But I would have made space for him. What I object to is being used.”

  “But you don’t know he was using you. Perhaps he really wants to carry on seeing you.”

  Nicole raised her eyebrows. “Please. The only thing he’s interested in is his business. If Vincent finds out we conned him, he’ll revoke the funding and Ryan will be back at square one. Ryan can’t afford to let that happen. He’s even prepared to carry on seeing me to prevent it.”

  “It may have been worth it anyway,” Janine suggested, bracing herself for a swift response. “You never know where it might have led and at least you would have been getting some....” She winked at her friend.

  “I can’t do it, Jan,” Nicole moaned, gazing at her friend with desperate eyes. “I’m half in love with him already. Imagine what a few extra weeks would do? I’d be destroyed. My heart would be smashed into so many tiny pieces I’d never find them all. I can’t go through that again. Stephen was bad enough.”

  “Not even for the sex?”

  Nicole shook her head. “No. Not even for that.”

  Janice let out a low whistle. “This is bad. What about that other guy you mentioned? The one with the yacht?”

  “Dominic?”

  “Yes. Why not go out with him? He might take your mind off Ryan.”

  Nicole shook her head. Dominic was fun but right now she was simply not interested in another jet-setting playboy. Besides, he didn’t make her stomach churn the way Ryan did.

  “In that case....” Janine chucked her freshly made cup of tea down the sink, then reached for Nicole’s.

  “What are you doing?” asked Nicole in amazement as she watched that disappear down the drain too. “I was drinking that.”

  “This situation calls for something much stronger than tea,” insisted Janine, opening Nicole’s fridge and pulling out a chilled bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. “We need wine.”

  Nicole managed a small smile. “I completely agree. Ryan is a man worth getting drunk over.”

  “The first in a while,” smiled Janine, twisting the lid off the wine bottle. Nicole retrieved two glasses from the cabinet and Janine filled them liberally.

  “Let’s hope it’s the last,” muttered Nicole, taking a glass from her friend.

  “Cheers,” sang Janine, raising her glass in the air.

  “Cheers.” Nicole put the glass to her lips and drank.

  “What is that noise?” Nicole stumbled from her bedroom to the door looking at her watch. It was eleven thirty in the evening. Who the hell was calling on her at this time?

  She glanced out of the window but saw only a nondescript blue car. “Who is it?” she called through the door.

  “It’s Ryan,” came the reply. “I need to talk to you.”

  Not again. How much of this was she expected to bear? It had been two weeks since she and Janine had cathartically removed him from her system, so to speak. If he kept this up, she’d be an alcoholic before long.

  “Go away,” she tried, weakly.

  “Nicole, please let me in. It’s important.”

  With a tired sigh, Nicole unlatched the door.

  “I see the media have dispersed,” remarked Ryan as he slid through the door and into the lounge.

  “They’re probably in bed,” said Nicole pointedly. “Like I was.”

  Ryan looked down at her leggings and tank top. “Sorry,” he said gruffly. “I need to talk to you. Can we sit down?”

  “If you insist,” murmured Nicole, leading the way to the dining-room table. The couch was too informal and he’d be too close to her. Nicole wanted something hard and at least a metre long between them.

  They sat. Nicole waited for him to speak.

  “I saw Vincent,” he began. “I told him what we’d done. All of it. The New Year’s Eve ball, Mozambique. Everything.”

  Nicole stared at him. “How’d he take it?”

  “Not well.” There was a pause. “He said he had a suspicion, ever since he saw you kissing Dominic on the beach the day we were due to leave.”

  Nicole hung her head. “He kissed me,” she muttered. “I couldn’t avoid it.” She knew someone had seen her. How awful it was Vincent. He must have been so confused, yet he’d said nothing until now.

  “I hate that he knows I lied to him.”

  “It doesn’t matter. He understood your predicament. It’s me he has an issue with.”

  “What do you mean?” Nicole frowned.

  “He cut me off, Nicole. Withdrew every cent of the loan.” He scoffed. “Now I owe him.”

  “Oh, Ryan. I’m so sorry. But why did you have to tell him everything? I thought you were going to tell him we’d broken up? That way he wouldn’t suspect anything.”

  Ryan shook his head. “Well, apart from seeing you and Dominic on the beach, I didn’t have the heart to lie anymore. I’ve always looked up to Vincent and I didn’t want to deceive him any longer. You were right about that. He doesn’t deserve it.”

  Nicole studied Ryan’s long lashes as they brushed against his cheeks. He desperately needed a shave and his hair was still too long but she didn’t think she’d ever met anyone more gorgeous or as sexy.

  “And,” he added, gazing directly into her eyes, “I was thinking of you.”

  “Me? I don’t understand,” breathed Nicole.

  “I wanted to prove to you that coming here had nothing to do with the money. I’m not trying to use you. There’s no point now I’ve told Vincent everything. There is no more money.”

  Nicole was speechless. She simply stared at him, unable to think of a reply. Eventually she said, “So you blew your contract with Vincent to be with me?” Surely she’d misunderstood him. This couldn’t be happening. This was Ryan, for goodness sake. The man whose business came before everything else.

  “I wanted to do the right thing,” explained Ryan, leaning forward and taking her hand. “You mean more to me than the contract.” He laughed. “I can’t believe I’m even saying that but it’s true. It was the only way to convince you I’m not using you.”

  “I don’t know what to say,” whispered Nicole. This was huge. He’d given up the opportunity of a lifetime to convince her she could trust him. He must be for real.

  “But on the island you were so adamant.”

  “I was an idiot. The amount of work I had to do scared me. I was worried if you were around I wouldn’t be able to commit myself to it a hundred percent. What I didn’t realise was being without you was way worse a prospect.”

  “I don’t know....” Nicole couldn’t get her head around his confession. “I
have Olivia, my career. We’re both such busy people.”

  “I know, but we can make it work, right? What I realised was it doesn’t have to be either/or. Say you’ll agree to see me again.” Ryan massaged her hand with his thumb. “I don’t want to lose you. Not after all this.”

  “But this wasn’t part of the deal,” said Nicole. “I never expected to carry on seeing you after Mozambique.” She looked deep into his eyes. “You don’t have to do this.”

  “It’s too late. I’m changing the deal.” Ryan winked at her. “From now on I want you in my life, contract or not. Children or not. Paparazzi or not.”

  “But what about your project?” enquired Nicole. “How are you going to fund it now?”

  “I’ll find a way,” replied Ryan. He pulled Nicole to her feet and slowly drew her towards him. “There are other avenues I haven’t explored. It may take a bit longer, but where there’s a will there’s a way. I haven’t got this far in life without a decent dose of ingenuity. You should know I don’t give up that easily.”

  “I’m beginning to realise that,” whispered Nicole, wrapping her arms around his neck. All the fight had gone out of her.

  Realising he had a chance, Ryan stood up. “Does that mean you’ll agree to go out with me?”

  “I don’t know. I have Olivia....” Her voice faltered.

  “She likes me, I could tell.” Ryan began nibbling at her neck. Flutters of anticipation spread through her body.

  “That’s because you bought her a teddy bear.” Nicole laughed. “It doesn’t count.”

  “Tell me you’ll see me again, Nicole?” The way he was looking at her made her legs go weak.

  “Of course I will,” she whispered. If she was going to make space in her life for a man he’d have to be pretty darn special – and that’s what Ryan was. With him, she was willing to take a chance on love again.

  Her heart filled with joy seeing his face light up. He grabbed her and swung her around before planting a huge kiss firmly on her lips.

  “With you by my side I feel as if I can conquer anything,” he stated grandly.

  Nicole laughed. “Don’t get too carried away. We’re only dating, remember? This could still all end in tears.”