by JJ Ellis
“Ri.”
Why did he hear Aidan’s voice? He fought hard to open his eyes and when he did, his gorgeous ex-boyfriend was next to him. “A? Where am I?”
“The hospital.”
“Jesus, what happened?” he croaked. “Water?”
Aidan gave him a cup with a straw. “The coach found you passed out in his office. You had a high fever.”
“I had a cold a week or so ago but...”
“You had a severe infection in your ears and sinuses,” came a voice from the doorway.
Riley looked at the man walking toward him, not recognizing him at first. But then he knew exactly who he was. “Uncle Johnny? Why are you here?” He hadn’t seen his dad’s other brother in years, pretty much since his mother died and his dad had stopped going to Denver to visit them. Johnny’s daughter, Adella was his age.
“Addie and I just moved back to town. I was with your dad when he got the call.”
“And of course, my father couldn’t be bothered to come see his only child.”
“He’s terrified of hospitals, you know that.”
“No excuse,” Riley grumbled. “I can’t believe you of all people are making excuses for Terry Johnson.”
“Yeah,” Johnny sighed. “Me either but I do know he’s worried about you.”
“Well go tell him I’m fine. When can I get out of here?”
Johnny moved to the door. He wasn’t surprised by the welcome he’d gotten. “Tomorrow if your tests come back okay. I’ll be here to drive you home.”
“Thanks,” Riley murmured. “See you then.”
“So, that’s Uncle Johnny,” Aidan said interrupting Riley’s reverie.
“Yeah. Even more of a black sheep than my dad. But he’s the one who chose to leave the family the day he turned eighteen.”
“He seems nice.”
Riley just shrugged. “So...You’re back for good now?”
“Yeah,” Aidan said with a smile. “And I learned something important while I was gone.”
“Oh? And what was that?”
“Sometimes we do things...stupid things, to keep ourselves or those we love safe. It doesn’t mean we’re bad people. It just means we’re misguided.”
“Samantha?” he whispered.
“Yeah,” Aidan agreed. “I know why you still pretend to date her and I know you love her...”
“But you also know that I love you too and that I have no romantic interest in her.”
“Yeah.” It was a whisper. “I want you back, Riley. And you can still pretend to be Samantha’s boyfriend. But if she gets better you have to break up with her.”
“I will. I promise. But are you sure?”
Aidan laughed. “As much as I can be. I’ll probably go to Hell for this but I want you so...”
“YOLO, right?” Riley chuckled.
“Ugh, I hate that saying but yes, you only live once and my boyfriend is a bad influence on me.”
“I haven’t begun to corrupt you,” Riley teased in a creepy voice.
“See! I knew it.” Aidan leaned in and kissed Riley. “I’ve got to go spend some time with my parents and unpack. You’re lucky I had called your phone when I got back and the coach told me where you were.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll see you Friday night at my house.”
“I’ll be there.” The state of near shock he’d been in when he first woke up returned shortly after Aidan left. Thinking back, he really didn’t remember feeling that sick. But then after some contemplation, he remembered a headache for three days and his ears had been kind of stuffy. Had his body been achy? Maybe a bit. But he had chalked it up to the increased workouts.
“Well, you’re looking better already,” the doctor said as he came into the room.
“Yeah, I feel okay too. When can I go home?”
The doctor gave a small laugh. “The number one question asked by patients. Your tests all came back good. I’d say you’ll be home by dinner tomorrow night. The course of IV antibiotics we have you on will be complete by around noon tomorrow.”
“Thank God!” Riley murmured. “Thank you, Doctor.”
“You’re welcome, son. Get some rest and the nurse will be back to check on you in a bit.”
Riley closed his eyes as soon as he heard the door close. He was so tired. The dreams or visions or memories – whatever they were – that he’d had while he was passed out were kind of hard to deal with all at once. And it all kind of got confused in his mind. Part of him felt like he was lost in the past. All the old emotions were right on the surface.
And then there was the sudden reappearance of his uncle. So long ago they’d been close, his cousin had been his best friend. But now Terry seemed to hate them both. He called his big brother an asshole on a regular basis and the R word was always used to reference Adella who was autistic. Riley was so uncomfortable with it but to keep the peace at home, he played along. Life could be getting a bit awkward for all of them soon.
“SO, HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?” Johnny asked his nephew as they left the hospital parking lot.
“Okay.”
“And your dad?” There was an extra tone to his voice like he was waiting specifically for Riley’s take on things.
“He’s okay. I think he might prefer living away from the ranch.”
“I’m not surprised,” Johnny said. “What...what about his health?”
“Okay...I guess.”
Johnny looked over at Riley. “Really?”
“What the hell do you want me to say, that he’s a fall down drunk who ‘barely functions’?” He knew immediately that he’d let his temper lead him into trouble.
“If it’s true, yes, I’d like to know. Maybe I can help.”
“Do you really think he wants your help?”
Johnny kept driving, letting silence build between them until he pulled into Harper’s Rock Diner’s parking lot. “I’ll let it go for now. Are you hungry?”
“Yeah, but I kinda just want to go home if that’s okay.”
“Look, son...”
“Please don’t call me that,” Riley whispered. He didn’t feel like he was anyone’s son so he didn’t deserve to be called that.
“Okay. I’m sorry. You’ve been sick and you need to eat to regain your strength. Can you honestly say you have any food at your house?”
“Probably not,” Riley murmured.
“Then I’m going to feed you and get you a week's worth of groceries.”
“Dad’s going to be angry,” he warned.
“I really don’t care. I stopped caring what Terry thinks years ago. I’ll deal with him if there is any fallout.”
Riley turned to his uncle, he couldn’t help but smile. “I’ll warn you, I’m starving.”
“Then we’ll order the biggest dinner on the menu, followed by dessert.”
“How can I say no.”
“YOU FULL?”
“I think so,” Riley said ducking his head. “Thanks for getting appetizers too.”
“You’re welcome. All this food will make you feel better.”
“I hope so. I can’t believe an infection would drop me on my a...butt like that.”
“The doctor said you’re probably not getting enough sleep and you were seriously dehydrated. Does...does your dad keep you awake at night?”
“No,” Riley admitted. “Other than hearing an occasional woman in the house, he’s pretty quiet. I just have a racing mind and lots going on.”
“I do too. It can be a curse when you’re sick.”
“Speaking of which, I’m so tired. Could you take me home now?”
“Sure. I’ll go pay if you want to meet me in the car.”
Riley nodded and headed outside. It was hard to see his uncle in the same way his dad did. He actually kind of liked him. It would be hard to badmouth him anymore. “You should go home to Adella. The condo’s not far, I can walk.”
“No, I’ll drive you. You just got out of the hospital. Adella isn’t ho
me anyway, she’s a junior counselor at the therapy camp for autistic kids that the Harper’s just opened. She’ll be there most of the summer.”
“Oh, okay.” He settled in for the short ride to the condo and when they arrived a Harper’s Rock Grocery and Pharmacy truck was parked outside.
“That will be the grocery delivery,” Johnny said. “Do you think you’ll be able to put them away?”
“Yeah, no problem. Thanks for everything.”
“You’re welcome. If you need anything, give me a call at any time.” He held out a business card. “Don’t let your dad find that. I don’t want you getting into trouble.”
Riley took the small paper and slipped it into his phone case under the phone itself. “Thanks again, Uncle Johnny.” He left the car and headed for the front door. The delivery guy followed him inside.
BY FRIDAY, RILEY WAS feeling a lot better and he couldn’t wait to spend the evening with Aidan. He spent most of the day riding his motorcycle up by Harper’s Rock and then he headed home to shower and get ready. They were meeting at the diner for dinner and would head over to the multiplex for a movie. They wouldn’t be alone together until after that and Riley was crazy with anticipation. “Hey, how are you?”
“I’m good,” Aidan answered as he slid into the booth across from Riley. “This almost feels like a date except we can’t kiss or hold hands until we’re alone.”
“I know, I’m sorry but my dad is still an issue.”
“It’s okay,” Aidan said softly. “And what about your uncle?”
Riley thought about it. “I...I’m not really sure. I mean, he is a male Johnson so he’d probably feel the same as my dad but he seems so nice.”
“Maybe he’s different,” Aidan asserted. “Maybe he’s an ally.”
Riley never had a chance to answer when the waitress came up and took their orders. By the time they’d shoveled in their last bites, both boys knew there would be no movie that night.
“You ready to go to my house?” Aidan asked as he stood.
“More than!” Riley agreed.
They made it to Aidan’s house in one piece, despite speeding the whole way. And the minute they were inside with the door closed, they were in each other’s arms.
“God, I missed this,” Aidan moaned as Riley tossed his shirt across the room.
“Me too,” Riley breathed. “You have no idea.” At this point, he didn’t care if their relationship was based only on the physical. It wasn’t until after, when they were resting in each other’s arms, that Riley started to wonder if what they were doing was right. And if in fact, it wasn’t then he had to wonder who in the hell Riley Johnson was. He’d seemingly changed without realizing it. He wasn’t sure he liked himself anymore. There was something to be said about living in the moment and not worrying about the consequences. But with Aidan, especially lately he seemed to do that a lot.
“That was amazing,” Aidan whispered in his ear. “I think I missed you more than I thought.”
“Did you miss my charming whit or my sexy bod?” Riley asked with a grin.
“Can’t I miss both?”
“Of course you can. I was just wondering. Did you miss anything else?”
“I missed your laugh,” Aidan admitted after a moment. “And the way your curly hair gets caught on my fingers.”
“I missed your voice and your smile and those eyes...damn! Oh, and I definitely missed kicking your ass at video games.”
“Is that a challenge?” Aidan asked as he got out of bed and slipped into his clothes.
“Sure, it can be anyway,” Riley stated as he followed suit.
“I’ll get the snacks. You set up the game. And we’ll see who beats whose ass!”
HOURS LATER AFTER ANOTHER trip to Aidan’s bedroom, the boys laid in the dark talking.
“When do I have to go?” Riley asked.
“Whenever you want. My parents are both gone until tomorrow afternoon.”
“It must be nice having parent’s who are always at the oilfield or the hospital working.”
“It can be,” Aidan admitted. “What time does your dad want you home?”
“He’ll go out drinking after work. He won’t know if I came home or not.”
“I’m sorry, Ri.”
Riley shrugged even though he knew Aidan couldn’t see him. “No biggie. So, do you want to come watch my practice some time?”
“Sure. But won’t people get suspicious if I’m in the stands rooting for you?”
“They might know that you’re my best guy friend. Or you could bring a notebook and pen and they will think you are my stats guy.”
“Okay. Sure, I’ll be there. You’re still planning to go for the starting quarterback position?”
“Yep. I’m tired of being backup.”
“I saw your competition yesterday,” Aidan admitted.
“Whoa, wait a minute,” Riley said sitting up in bed. “What competition. I thought I was the only one.”
Aidan cocked his shoulder. “It’s some new guy. Big, red hair, related to the Harper family. I think his name is Ben Croft.”
“Yeah, I know who he is. I didn’t realize he was up for my position, though. God, if he’s a Harper and I lose the position to him my old man will kill me twice.”
“Nah,” Aidan assured. “You won’t have to worry. As far as I could tell, this guy isn’t even going to be much competition.”
“Uh...yeah. Yeah, I’m sure you’re right.”
A WEEK LATER, WHEN football practice started, Aidan was in the stands watching over Riley as he’d promised. He didn’t much like football but he sure loved seeing Riley perform. “You look great, Ri.”
“Not competition, huh?” Riley snarled as he stood next to his boyfriend on the field. “The guy is freakishly good. As my grandfather used to say, my goose is cooked.”
“You’re better.”
“What the fuck do you know,” Riley grumbled and walked away.
“Whoa, what the hell is your problem?” Aidan asked hurrying to catch up with him. “Just because you’re mad at him doesn’t mean you can take it out on me.”
Riley sighed and turned around. “I’m sorry, A. I just have so much riding on this.”
“We’ll talk when you’re done showering,” Aidan said. “We’ll go to Movie and a Pizza Place.”
“I’d kiss you if I could,” Riley whispered.
“I know,” Aidan chuckled. “You stink.”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m going. See you in a few.”
“DO I SMELL BETTER?” Riley murmured as he slid into a booth opposite Aidan at the pizza place.
“Much!” Aidan laughed. “How are you feeling about practice now?”
“The same. I’m just not snapping everyone’s head off anymore. The new guy really is freakishly good.”
“I think he’s all talk and no walk when it comes down to it, you have better basic skills.”
“You’re not just saying that, are you?”
Aidan raised his eyebrow. “No! Why would I do that?”
Riley shook his head and looked away. “I don’t know, it just seems like most people are doing it all the time.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not just most people. I’m your boyfriend.”
“Okay, I get it.” Riley finally gave up. “I guess all we can do is wait and see. I’ve got until next month to prove I’m better than he is.”
“I’ve got faith in you.”
Riley could only smile. At least one person had faith in him. His dad sure as hell didn’t a majority of the time. When Terry found out about his competition, he’d drunk lectured Riley for over an hour about the evils of men in the Harper family and if he let Ben Croft beat him it would just go to prove that he was a pansy, a disgrace to the Johnson family name. After the lecture, Riley had gone to his uncle Joseph to hear the history between the Harper’s and the Johnsons. His uncle had reluctantly told him what he knew but Riley felt like there had to be so much more.
He’d always
thought Samantha was someone he could count on too, but she’d recently gone for testing to see if her cancer came back. She hadn’t been quite the same since and he still didn’t know if she was sick again.
“Hey, you look so sad, what’s on your mind?”
Riley was shocked to discover that he was still at the pizza restaurant with Aidan. He’d been a million miles away. “I was just thinking about Sammi.”
“Still haven’t heard one way or another?”
“No. I’m kind of scared for what it might mean.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sure she’ll talk when she’s ready.”
“She will. Hey, here comes our pizza. I’m starving.”
“You worked hard today. Eat as much as you want.”
“Oh, I plan to! You’d better grab some while you can.” Riley was going to enjoy sitting across from this gorgeous boy who loved him for as long as he possibly could. Soon enough, he would have to go home and answer Terry’s drunk questions about how the first day of practice went. He couldn’t wait to hear ten or eleven times what great quarterbacks his brothers had been and how it was practically a family tradition.
RILEY KNOCKED ON AIDAN’S door, restlessly pacing in front of it.
“Hey, Ri! What’s wrong?”
“My dad just said he’d kick me out if I didn’t get quarterback next week.”
Aidan grabbed his hand and pulled him inside. “Calm down, man. You don’t even like living with Terry.”
“I know, but at least I have a roof over my head and food on the table. What the hell will I do?”
“I don’t know. Maybe you could live with one of your uncles or here even. Your dad probably won’t even remember what he said by tomorrow.”
“I hope so. I’m scared, man. What if I totally fuck it up. I don’t know if I can perform under this kind of pressure.”
Aidan took Riley into his arms. “It’s going to be fine, Ri. You need to block Terry and Ben Croft out of your mind and do what you do best.”
Riley relaxed against his boyfriend. He was right. But it wasn’t that easy for him. He wished he could talk to his mother about things. She would have helped him tamp down some of the fears and self-doubt. But he hadn’t talked to her or dreamt of her even in probably eight years. He’d somehow stopped believing in the power of a mother’s love. And he was now pretty sure it was too late. He’d strayed too far from the purity that had been Merilee Johnson.
