The Maybe Boyfriend: A YA Contemporary Romance Novel (The Boyfriend Series Book 6)

by Christina Benjamin

  He was on the verge of breaking down and all he knew was that he needed to be alone when he did. He could barely face his own weakness, but having Megan witness it would be unbearable. A twisting emptiness filled his heart, fueling him on, and he was desperate to outrun it.

  Zander had a vague recollection that his feet were carrying him upward as he scrabbled up the steep terrain. He could hear the rush of the waterfall growing near, but its sound was nothing beyond the screaming turmoil that was echoing in his skull. He pushed harder, punishing himself. Heart, lungs, muscles—they all must pay for his inadequacies. He needed something to hurt worse than the brokenness inside him.

  Physical pain was something he knew, something he could master. Pain centered him. It gave him something to focus on. It was all he thought of as he charged up the side of the sheer mountain running dangerously close to the waterfall.

  Megan

  “Where are you going?” Megan shouted after Zander.

  He’d fled like a spooked deer, bounding up the mountain away from her.

  “I’d like to point out that you’re the one leaving!” she called.

  Stubborn Irish bastard.

  “People always leave, my ass,” she grumbled under her breath.

  Zander had another thing coming if he thought he was going to add her name to his list of deserters. She tied the laces of her boots tighter and charged after him.

  Megan’s progress up the slick rocks was painfully slow. She was still trying to figure out how Zander had made it look so easy when she heard a bone-shattering scream.

  Her heart jumped to her throat. “Zander!”

  His answer was another gut-wrenching cry that sent a chill racing down her spin.

  She doubled her efforts, her lungs burning as she scrambled up the rocks as if chased by a demon. By the time she got to him, her fingers were bloody and raw from gripping the unforgiving terrain.

  Zander lay on his back, a gash dripping blood from just above his eyebrow. But the worst of it was his leg. It jutted out at an impossible angle and he writhed in pain trying to unpin it from the rocks that weighed it down.

  “Zander!” Megan rushed to his side. “My God! What happened?”

  He grunted, unable to get words out through his gritted teeth as he shoved at the rocks that trapped him.

  “Stop moving! Let me help you.”

  Slowly, Megan worked at the rocks, cringing each time Zander screamed in pain. When his leg was finally free the relief she expected didn’t come. Blood pooled around his ankle and it was clear that his injury was severe.

  “Can you stand?” she asked.

  Zander tried and failed. Megan steadied him, putting her shoulder beneath his arm. But even with her supporting his full weight, Zander could barely manage to stay upright for more than a minute at a time. It became apparently clear that Zander wouldn’t be able to walk out of forest on his own, and Megan feared her help wouldn’t be enough.

  Mist from the waterfall cloaked them like a fine silk, making the mossy rocks even slicker. Megan had barely been able to manage the climb on her own. There was no way she could do it supporting Zander’s massive frame and he knew it.

  Panting, Zander sat down, leaning against the damp mountainside. “There’s an access road about two miles from the base of the waterfall.”

  “No!” Megan objected. “I’m not leaving you.”

  “Ye have to. I’m not gonna make it down the mountain.”

  “You just need to catch your breath. We’re making progress,” she argued.

  Zander shook his head and Megan’s hope weakened as she realized they’d only traveled a few feet from where she’d found him. They were probably somewhere near the middle of the falls. Climbing up wasn’t an option on his leg, and down wasn’t much better.

  Zander continued. “When ye get to the base of the falls there’s a trail. Follow it to the road. It’ll take ye back to the ranger station. It’s a far hike, but if we’re lucky there could be a ranger patrolling the road.”

  “No, Zander! I’m not leaving you.” How could she when he’d just admitted his biggest fear was abandonment? If she walked out on him now there’s no telling the emotional turmoil he’d suffer.

  Zander closed his eyes tightly. Megan could tell he was fighting against the pain that must be eating him alive—from his injuries and the prospects of being left behind. “Megan.” He said her name like a plea. “Ye have to go.”

  “It’s better if we stay together. Someone will come.”

  “No. They won’t.”

  “They will! We’re near the falls. It’s a tourist attraction.”

  “Not in February,” he muttered.

  “Then Sam and Devon. They’ll send someone when they don’t hear from us.”

  “Not in time. We’re not due back for another day, we have no cellphone service and my leg . . .” he swallowed. “It’s bad, Megan. Ye have to go for help.”

  “I’m not leaving.”

  “If ye don’t—”

  “No!” she yelled. “If you think we’re going to fail then we will. You have to stay positive.”

  Zander closed his eyes again and leaned his head back, grunting as he tried to find relief, shifting his weight further from his injured leg. Megan’s heart was tearing itself in two. She couldn’t stand to watch him suffer. She knelt close to him taking his cheeks in her battered hands. She didn’t know what to do to take the pain away but she was desperate to do something. Megan pressed her lips to his forehead. “I can’t leave you,” she whispered.

  Zander opened his pain-shot eyes, giving her a long, pleading look. He pulled her toward him and kissed her lips. “Please,” he begged. “Please go, Megan.”

  Tears welled in her eyes as the mist turned to rain. Their situation was getting worse by the minute. Zander wasn’t wearing a jacket and their packs had been left behind—cast aside in the heat of their argument. The sun was already making its descent. Even if someone did come, it wouldn’t be until morning, and Megan and Zander’s odds of surviving the night weren’t great. He was right—she had to find help.

  “Okay,” she whispered. “But I’m coming back.”

  “I know.” But his eyes said he didn’t believe it.

  “I am, Zander. I promise.”

  Zander

  Before Megan left, she’d insisted on finding Zander a more sheltered spot to wait out the rain that had turned from a fine mist to raging downpour. It had been absolute agony trying to move the few yards to the rocky overhang she’d found, but at least it was dry.

  Zander wiped his mouth as he leaned back against the cold cave-like outcropping. He had vomited twice from the pain trying to get there. He was almost certain the gash to his shin was deep enough to reach bone, but the searing pain that radiated through his knee was worse. It had finally given out when he was blindly charging up the mountain.

  When his knee buckled, he’d heard a sickening pop. Something snapped and the sudden pain had made him lose his footing. He tumbled down the steep ridge, sending an avalanche of stone behind him. He was lucky to be alive, or perhaps unlucky. Zander could feel death waiting to steal him.

  There was no way he and Megan would survive a night in the elements without proper shelter. He didn’t even have a jacket and his clothes were soaked through from the rain. Hypothermia was a very real risk in this situation.

  But he’d be damned if his stupidity would cost Megan. He needed to get her to leave him. If she kept moving, it would keep her core temperature up and there was hope that she’d make it to shelter.

  “Megan, ye need to go, now. Yer losing light.”

  She stilled. She’s been doting on him, cleaning the wound on his head with the soft lining of her glove. He knew she was procrastinating.

  Her face was etched with worry. “What if I can’t find my way back?”

  “Ye will.”

  She looked at their surroundings, doubt swimming in her beautiful blue eyes. Suddenly, she pulled off her boots and
tugged off her red socks. “I’ll leave pieces of these behind.”

  Zander did his best to give her an encouraging smile. “Good. Now get going.”

  Megan leaned in, wrapping her arms around him one last time.

  Zander tried to memorize her touch.

  “I’ll come back,” she whispered desperately.

  “I know.”

  She kissed his forehead lightly and shrugged out of her jacket, draping it over his chest.

  “No, Megan. Take it with ye.”

  “You can give it to me when I come back,” she murmured before backing out of the overhang.

  Zander’s heart hammered as they stared at each other for a long moment. And then she was gone.

  32

  Megan

  Megan thundered down the mountain at breakneck speed. She knew she should take it slower and use caution, but fear drove her on. The sun was already sinking in the sky and she was desperate to reach the road Zander had given her directions to before dark. There would be no hope of her finding her way back to him once night fell.

  She’d used Zander’s pocketknife to leave torn pieces of her red Gryffindor socks, marking a path back to him. But they would do her little good in the dark. The thought pushed her on.

  Megan allowed herself quick moments to stop and check her phone for service while she caught her breath, but it was useless. The no service icon greeted her each time. Still, she typed out an SOS message to Sam and Devon, praying she might cross a miracle pocket of cell service that would deliver her distress call.

  She reached the bottom of the waterfall sooner than she’d expected. Megan followed the trail Zander described and made it to the road. It was deserted and the light was fading quickly. She rubbed her arms and jogged in place to stay warm as she desperately hoped to see headlights.

  An hour later the road was still empty. Megan had a choice to make. Attempt the near ten-mile hike to the ranger’s station or go back to Zander?

  She checked the time. She had about an hour left before the sun was completely absorbed by night. An idea stirred her and she made her decision.

  Zander

  Zander assumed he was hallucinating when he saw Megan coming toward him through the mist. It wouldn’t be the first time he thought he saw her. He’d spent the hours since Megan had left thinking of nothing but her—reliving each of their kisses, begging his mind to recall her sweet floral scent and the feel of her peach-soft skin.

  He shivered as his grip on reality slipped away. The temperature was dropping and Zander could see each frigid breath he exhaled. He shifted deeper into Megan’s jacket, disgusted he hadn’t the strength to stand up and wrap it around her shoulders before she’d left.

  Guilt gnawed at him as he shoved his numb hands into the pockets of her jacket. His fingers wrapped around something silken and he pulled out a single yellow daisy. Zander was stricken by how much the stubborn flower reminded him of Megan—it’s beauty relentless and unyielding, even in such inhospitable conditions.

  Megan was Zander’s willful daisy, determined to make him see beauty and light even when drowning in his own darkness.

  “Zander?”

  Megan’s voice shattered Zander’s hallucination and he dropped the flower, startled to see her beautiful face staring back at him. She had raindrops tangled in her dark eyelashes and he smiled, sure he’d never seen something so lovely.

  Megan

  Megan was so relieved she’d made it back to Zander that she was near tears. She crawled next to him, dragging her pack behind her. Her plan had worked. She’d found her way back to their abandoned packs, put on his jacket, gathered everything that would help them survive, and made her way to Zander.

  “Megan?” Zander whispered, sounding astonished to see her again.

  “I told you I’d come back,” she panted, throwing her arms around him.

  He was shaking and she quickly dug through her pack, pulling out a small wax fire starter log, along with the kindling she’d collected. With the help of Zander’s lighter, she had a tiny fire blazing in minutes.

  “It’s not much, but it’ll help,” she offered.

  Zander was still staring at her in disbelief.

  “Ye didn’t go to the road?” he finally asked.

  “I did. I waited and waited but there was no one.” She frowned, picking up his frozen hand. “Please don’t be mad, but I couldn’t just leave you here alone all night. I can try again tomorrow.”

  “I’m not mad,” he whispered, pulling her tight to his chest. “How could I be mad? Ye came back.”

  “I told you I would.” She laughed at the absurdity of their situation. She clung to him. “We’re in this together now.”

  Zander repeated the word, like it was foreign to him. “Together.”

  They spent the rest of the frigid night huddled together under their sleeping bags and the tarp Megan had pilfered from Zander’s pack. Megan forced him to eat and drink, and demanded he move every few hours to keep his blood pumping. She didn’t know if it was the right thing to do, but she’d seen enough survival movies to feel her actions had merit.

  She wanted to keep Zander conscious. He seemed to be drifting in and out of coherence, which prickled at Megan’s nerves. The gash on his head had clotted, but there was no telling how hard he’d hit it. She was afraid he might have a concussion. Then there was his leg. An alarming amount of blood soaked his pant leg from knee to ankle, but Zander was in too much pain to let Megan examine his injury—not that there was much she’d be able to do for him. She didn’t have any medical training and their supplies were limited. Her best hope was to keep his spirits up.

  “This is kinda of like Hunger Games,” she said, hoping to get him talking.

  Zander’s slight smirk was the only indication that he’d heard her.

  “You know . . . the part where Katniss and Peta are hiding in the cave?” She laughed. “But at least we have Nerds,” Megan said, shaking the box of candy.

  The sugar was helping her stay awake and she forced Zander to eat some as well.

  “I always wanted to be Katniss,” Megan added. “Do you think I could pull it off for Halloween?”

  “Mmm,” Zander murmured.

  Concern swept through Megan. She shook Zander’s shoulder forcing him to look at her. “Zander, stay with me, okay?”

  “I’m here,” he mumbled.

  “Good. Keep talking. We need to stay awake.”

  They were probably only a few hours from dawn. The last of the wax logs was fading and Megan felt the frosty temperature biting at them again. They would make it. They had to. She refused to let her story end this way.

  Megan snuggled into Zander’s chest, comforted by the steady rise and fall of his breathing.

  “Tell me a story,” she begged. “Something I don’t know.”

  She felt him exhale but he was silent for so long she worried he may have fallen asleep. She was just about to check when his voice slipped through the night as silent as a thief.

  “I was the last one with her,” he whispered, his voice heavy with pain. “I was there and I didn’t help her.”

  Megan didn’t move. She wanted to ask him what he was talking about, but the ache in his voice was like a spell she was terrified to disturb.

  “I was there . . .” he said again. “I should’ve saved her.”

  Zander’s voice cracked and it tore something loose in Megan. She sat up, pressing her lips to his temple and pulling him close. “Who,” she asked.

  “My mother,” he croaked.

  Megan watched the anguish fill his green eyes and her heart went out to him. She took both of his hands in hers. “Tell me.”

  Zander let out a shuddering sigh. “My father was a drunk. Did I ever tell ye that?”

  She shook her head.

  “He beat my mother nearly every night of his miserable life, and I did nothing to stop it.”

  “You were a kid, Zander. It wasn’t your job to stop it.”

  H
e shook his head, lost in the painful memories. “I should’ve done more. I should’ve tried to stop him. And now I’ll always wonder if it would’ve made a difference.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “One day the fighting got worse than usual. They didn’t know I was home from school, but I was. I hid in my room, wishing the yelling would stop. Then I heard a crash and the door slam. I found my mother lying at the bottom of the steps.” He shivered. “My father just left her lying there. He must’ve taken off so, I-I took her to bed. She should’ve gone to the hospital, but I took her to bed. She said she just needed to lie down. But she-she didn’t get back up.”

  Megan felt tears burning tracks down her cheeks as her heart squeezed for Zander.

  “I stayed with her, holding her hand. I thought she was just sleeping. But then she got cold. She was so cold, and her lips . . . they turned white. That’s when I knew.” He inhaled sharply. “She was so cold. She wasn’t breathing and I . . . I let it happen.”

  “Zander . . .” Megan didn’t know what to say. No words would make what he’d gone through okay. She couldn’t believe Zander felt he had to keep this part of himself hidden from her. It explained so much. Why he’d freaked out when she’d had her asthma attack and when he’d thought he’d lost her in the woods. Both times she’d been ice cold, her lips probably blue. She was practically a walking ghost of what he’d endured with his mother.

  “Zander, I’m so sorry. But it wasn’t your fault.”

  He shook his head. “It was his fault, but I didn’t stop him, so I’m just as guilty.”

  “Zander, your father is the only one who’s guilty.”

  He huffed a bitter laugh. “Then why did he get rewarded for killing her?”

  “What?”

  “He cashed in her life insurance and then he left us like we were nothing. That’s why Cara had to marry Henry James. She’ll never admit it but I know it’s true. We had no money and she had to keep us afloat. All of it . . . my whole life, it’s all built on a lie.”