by Cait Ashwood
The lump in Ace’s throat wasn’t getting any better. It had all been discussed ahead of time, but now it was happening. And they’d left early. If that wasn’t a punch to the gut, he didn’t know what was.
“Where are they?” Gwyn seemed curious, eyes sweeping over Owl. The man was middle-aged, one of the last Seekers that could claim Leaf parentage. Rumor even said his father had been marked. I never thought to ask if his mother was among the women rescued.
Owl glanced at the map, though he seemed to know exactly where they were. He’s stalling. “Iceland.”
Tops tilted his head thoughtfully. “Can you still see the lights at this time of year? Bit late in the season, isn’t it?”
Ace’s stomach joined his heart on the floor. How could they discuss the situation so calmly while the life he’d known was literally falling apart with each word? Trust Hound to find the one romantic bone in his damned body when it came to Audrey. I should have thought of something like that. But no. He’d taken her loyalty for granted, assumed that she’d felt the same way. He’d not done one thing to try and win her over. He seethed, though if he found a moment of clarity to be honest, he was more pissed with himself than Hound. Couldn’t blame the man for taking the opportunity handed to him on a silver platter. Audrey was…perfection.
“Ace?”
“Huh?” Had someone been talking to him? Shit.
“She seemed worried about the twins. She didn’t ask, but I’m sure she’d appreciate it if you stayed with them tonight.” Owl had a single eyebrow arched, watching Ace closely.
“Yeah, I’ll go. I’m done here, anyway.” Ace rolled his shoulders, desperate to get away from them. Tops’ glance was pitying, Owl’s appraising.
“May I come?”
Ace turned towards Gwyn, his mouth dropping open in surprise. “Why would you, I mean, what?”
Gwyn clasped her hands behind her back, dipping her head slightly in that humble way she had. “I never really got a chance to spend much time with the twins while she was at the Tower. If it’s a bad time, I understand.”
Truth be told, he wasn’t going to be the most observant parent around right now. Ace’s eyes flicked to the list of those lost. One of those names belonged to Gwyn’s own daughter. Maybe she needed some baby therapy. Well, far be it from him to deny her. “Uh, yeah, sure. I’ll take you.” Ace didn’t even look at the other two men as he swept from the room, keeping an ear out just enough to ensure Gwyn was following him.
Once around the corner, he let out a deep breath. He’d said it was fine, that he could cope, but now that she was gone with Hound, in Iceland of all fucking places…no. He was not okay. He wanted to hit something. The pain might bring him some clarity. One thought in his harried brain skittered to the easily-scared woman behind him and he stilled his hand. He didn’t need to freak her out just when she was finally starting to trust some of them. Why does everything have to be so fucking complicated? Can’t spit around here without worrying which factions you’ll piss off.
It wasn’t until his strident footfalls echoed across the mall entrance hall that Ace realized just how fast he was walking. He slowed immediately, glancing behind him, sure he’d left Gwyn behind. She almost ran into him, not looking the least bit stressed at the pace.
“Sorry. I just wanna get out of here.”
Gwyn’s expression was carefully blank, and it was surprisingly…refreshing. No pity, no goading, no nothing. Just acceptance. She dipped her head and extended her hand, asking him to take the lead again.
Ace focused on his breathing as they headed out into the courtyard, and beyond the Institute’s gates. He was one of the most accurate Seekers when it came to phasing, and that came from an intense level of focus. He was done dealing with people today, and didn’t want to take a tour through his mother’s estate. It would just give more opportunity for more people to ask questions. Who was Gwyn? Where was Audrey? Weren’t they going to be together? Worst of all, his mother would be the biggest one in his face about everything. No. He was going to bring them in right on the balcony to the wing he shared with Audrey. The less people, the better.
Clear from the magnetic interference of the Institute, Ace offered Gwyn his hand, not looking at her. Her touch was gentle but firm, her palm seeming small in his. Two heartbeats, then a moment devoid of any sensation. The stiffer breeze on the far side of the mountains whipped at Ace’s hair, the gray stone of his mother’s Manse staring him in the face. He could hear baby giggles from out here, and felt the first vestiges of his foul mood beginning to slip away. He would do anything for his kids, but an epic tantrum or meltdown so was not on his list of things he could handle right now.
“Falda?” Ace called out for the woman who had volunteered herself as their nanny, the woman Hallie had intended her son to marry. Thank heavens Audrey put a stop to that. Though now her reasoning seemed curious. If she didn’t want him, why push the other woman away? Women. That’s why.
“Master Ace?” The pale blonde woman came out from the nursery, her jade eyes flicking around the room until she saw him, a smile gracing her face.
“I didn’t want to startle you. This is Gwyn—she wanted to see the twins.” It was odd. He hated it when others referred to them as ‘the twins’, as it made them seem more like a single entity instead of two children with very distinct personalities. When it was just him or the extended family they’d created? It was just easier.
“My Lady, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Falda dipped into a curtsy, dipping her head. Gwyn returned the gesture, less formally. “They’re right through here, if you’d like?”
Gwyn took a long look at Ace, which he intentionally ignored. Doubtless, the two women could handle the twins for a few hours. The only way he was going to make it through this thing was with copious amounts of alcohol. His brain needed to shut the hell up. “I’m going to the kitchens. You ladies need anything?” He waited just long enough to hear their negative responses. It was a shame Deuce was still recovering. Ace might actually appreciate his ale being spiked with poppy this time. Being comatose sounded like an excellent plan.
25
Two sensations hit him simultaneously: cold, and the rotten egg smell of sulfur. Hound wrinkled his nose, still not used to the smell. He glanced at Audrey’s face and hoped it wouldn’t bother her too much. He could barely see her in the darkness, the sun having set hours ago in this part of the world. She’d put her hand over her nose, but otherwise didn’t seem bothered. A thin layer of snow crunched under his boots as he tugged at her arm, trying to get her moving.
The footing was treacherous and he let go of her arm, watching his step and pointing out steaming cracks in the earth’s crust so she wouldn’t get burned. She looked like she had questions, but keeping her feet under her was more important. Finally, only a slight rise in the land blocked her view of their destination. She’d be able to see part of it soon enough, but he hoped to be able to see her face when she got a look at all of it. I’m no good at this romance shit, so I hope it works.
“Wait here for a second.”
She shot him a questioning glance, but stayed put. Hound didn’t feel steady until the slate path was under his boots, the surrounding terrain troublesome, at best. The moisture from the hot springs encouraged all sort of moss and algae to grow on the rocks around it. Didn’t realize we were going to be getting here in the dark.
He ducked into the old stone house he’d been surprised to find here. He’d found the place a few days ago and spent a lot of time cleaning it out and replacing the roof. It was small, but the fireplace had a working chimney and he’d filled it with blankets, pillows, and soft things. Women were supposed to like all that stuff. He searched around in his pocket for his piece of flint, trying to get it to catch on the soaked rags of one of the torches he’d set here ahead of time. After his second attempt, the spark caught, spearing its light into the darkness. He headed outside, lighting three torches on the outside of the house. He took the first back inside
, lighting a tallow candle from it and cupping his hand around the fragile flame, heading outside.
He glanced towards Audrey, who was still standing where he’d left her. Shit. I didn’t make sure she dressed for the cold. He’d have to finish up quickly. He moved silently around the pool’s edge, lighting several little lanterns strewn about. The spring was quite large, but he only lit lanterns close to the hut. When he was done, he blew out the candle, stowing it inside. He walked back over to her, aware of her studying him as he approached. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, feeling uncomfortable with his eyes on his feet.
“I didn’t want too many lamps. Might block out the lights.”
Audrey frowned, confused. “Lights?”
Hound looked up at her. “It’s a little late in the season, but I was hoping the northern lights might come out tonight.” He looked over his shoulder, but had too many spots in his vision from the torch and candle to be able to really see properly.
“Hound, where are we?”
She really looked cold, all folded in on herself. He shrugged out of his jacket, wrapping it around her shoulders. She tugged it over her, tucking the extra up under her chin. She shivered, much like one of those little birds might in the winter time, looking at him expectantly.
“I think it was called Greenland? No, Iceland.” He rubbed a hand over the back of his head. “Always mixed those two up.”
She stared up at him, her eyes wide in the moonlight. “You brought me…to Iceland?”
“I mean…if you want to go back.” He scuffed his boot on the rock. “But you at least should see the best part, first.” Dumbass. Just knew this wasn’t going to work.
“No, I didn’t mean…” she sighed, slipping her arms in the sleeves of his jacket properly. “What’s the best part?”
“Come on.” He was more nervous than excited, but when they rounded the corner and she gasped, it warmed something in that dead place he called his heart.
“It’s beautiful.”
The steam hovered over the hot springs, rising into the night like so many wisps of clouds. The lanterns gave everything a magical, slightly eerie glow, and the torches crackled merrily. Hound pointed off to one side, hoping he had the timing just about right. A few seconds later, the geyser blew, sending super-hot water rocketing skyward. It was small as far as geysers went, and would go off about every five minutes or so.
She turned towards him, putting her hands on his arm. “Please tell me the water is safe.”
Hound frowned. “Yeah but…it’s kind of cold out.” He gestured around them at the layer of snow on the ground. Summer in the southern hemisphere was winter in the northern one. Hound was honestly just glad it wasn’t snowing.
Her grin was nearly infectious. “Oh, come on, you can’t bring me out here and expect me to stay out of the water. Besides, it’s obviously warm.”
“Yeah, it’s the getting out and freezing to death part I’m worried about.” He crossed his arms over his chest, still frowning.
He’d never seen her pull her puppy dog eyes before, but he lasted about all of two seconds before sighing, shaking his head. “Let me at least get the fire started.”
Her eyes darted to the spring and back to him.
He tossed his hands up in the air. “Yes, you can go ahead and get in.” Well, she likes it all right. He tried to keep in mind that it was a good thing. He was nervous enough about tonight as it was. He hadn’t been with a woman in, what, ten years? Yeah, about ten years, when he’d taken over the Brotherhood and started spending all his time away in the field. He certainly hadn’t gotten any younger.
He got the fire started, then dragged over the towel stand he’d brought in earlier. He arranged the towels on the stand, spacing them as best he could before placing the stand near the fire. He had a feeling she was going to be freezing when she came in. Speaking of Audrey…
He stood, turning toward the window to see where she was. He wasn’t at all prepared for what he saw. Her robes were in a careful pile on the ground some distance from the pool, her skin a soft white in the lantern glow. Her hair was down past her waist now, but even without being able to see her, he knew she’d put the Greek goddesses to shame. He swallowed, his throat suddenly dry as he watched her dip her toe in the water. She used her foot to feel around, her other knee bending gracefully before she dipped into a full crouch, her hair pooling on the ground around her. Seemingly satisfied, Audrey jumped into the spring.
Without consciously deciding to, he exited the little house and strode towards the spring. Steam rose all around him, and the sulfur smell wasn’t as strong now. Either that or his nose was getting used to it. Not that it mattered now.
Looking down at her in the water, he suddenly couldn’t think of anything to say. The water came up nearly to her shoulders and she dunked her head under water, smoothing her hair down in the process.
“Are you…warm enough?”
She arched an eyebrow at him, her chuckle soft. “Yes, I’m fine. You should come in. It feels absolutely wonderful in here.”
She didn’t stick around to hear his response but struck out, swimming through the water with smooth strokes. She got a ways out, no longer swimming but floating. Her breasts broke the surface of the water, her skin gleaming in the moonlight. Hound thought he was going to lose his mind on the spot. There were a million reasons he shouldn’t get in the springs, but there he was, unlacing his boots and piling his gear up in a neat stack. He barely remembered to fetch towels from the hut and get them within reach. He left his dagger at the water’s edge before slipping into the pool.
She was right; the water was the perfect temperature, like a slightly warm bath. The initial ledge was a bit of a drop, the water coming up to about mid-chest on him. The bottom evened out quickly, the depth increasing gradually as he walked out to where she was floating, looking up at the sky.
“This is really beautiful.” Her body sank in the water slightly as she spoke, expelling air.
“Glad you like it.” He wasn’t sure where to look, what to do. They’d never had an intimate relationship, or even a normal emotional one. How did you go from friends to lovers overnight?
She folded her body in half at the waist, moving her arms through the water until her feet touched the bottom. Thank the stars. He could attempt to look at her now without feeling like lecherous scum.
“Where would the lights be?” Her gaze was on the sky and somehow, that helped.
He glanced up, finding the Northern star and orienting himself to the sky. He turned her slightly by the shoulders and pointed. “About there.”
“Hmm.”
“We might be a little early.”
She shrugged, the water rippling outward from the movement. “That’s okay. I wanted to get here before—” she trailed off, shaking her head. Even though most of her was covered by the water, he could tell that she’d crossed her arms over her chest. That tight tone in her voice, the small waver. It almost sounded like she was scared.
He tried to make his voice come out gently, not that rough, hoarse thing it usually was. “Before what?”
She took a deep breath, letting it out in a puff of steam. “Do you know anything about it?”
Hound wracked his brain. He could tell she’d switched topics, but to what? “About…being struck?”
She nodded with jerky, stiff movements.
He shrugged. “Not really. Aside from the fact that it happens, and what soothes it.” He figured that was basic knowledge, though. In everything he’d done to prepare, he hadn’t thought to try and figure out exactly what he was dealing with. There was only one man alive who knew, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to ask Ace.
“I get sick. Every time, when it starts. It…” she let out a frustrated sound. “It’s like I’m trapped in my own skin. Regardless of what I want, nothing matters.” Her swallow was audible even to him. “I can’t be considerate, or careful, or anything. It’s like a wild beast takes over.”
Hou
nd had to fight the urge to physically recoil. He hadn’t talked about his time under Gretta’s control to anyone, but this was eerily similar. “I know a few things about wild beasts.”
She turned, brows furrowed as she stared up at him.
He ran his wet hand through his dry hair, getting parts stuck and tangled. He rolled his eyes, taking a breath and dunking his head to drench his hair, brushing water from his face as he resurfaced. “When Gretta was in my head, it didn’t matter what I wanted. I couldn’t say my own words, move my own hand. It was all her. I was a passenger in my skin; no control.”
The geyser went off again, interrupting their silence. She turned to watch it, her back to him. When the activity finally quieted down, she spoke, her voice sounding small in the darkness. “Did you ever just…blank out? Do your best to pay no attention, sort of shield yourself from what was going on?”
Hound felt the muscle in his jaw start twitching. “Not at first, but eventually? Yeah.” It was why he called himself a coward. He should have fought longer, harder. Given it everything he had. The fact that he’d nearly killed Ace was unforgivable.
“It’s the only way I can make it through.” She shivered, dipping her head back under the water again to warm up.
Hound didn’t know what to say. Audrey was arguably the strongest person he knew, and even she had things she couldn’t stand to be mentally present for.
“I knew Ace was developing feelings for me and it made it even worse, because I knew I shouldn’t encourage him, but how could I control it? How could I make it stop?”
“You couldn’t. No more than I could.”
She turned back to face him, water dripping from her chin. “You’re never going to have to fear that again.”
He snorted softly, half smiling down at her. “Too bad we both can’t get off scot free.”
Her smile was broader. “Maybe. I think this time will be different. I hope, anyway.” She looked away, like maybe she was embarrassed.
