by Cait Ashwood
Not really expecting an answer, she sent out another call, but this time she could feel him. She straightened, eyes gazing out into the deepening twilight. She lost track of him for a moment, then he was close enough she could almost reach out and touch him. She half ran to the edge of the balcony, peering over the edge. He was standing outside the wall to the courtyard, staring up at her.
She grinned; she couldn’t help it. He wasn’t bailing on her, at least not yet. She threw on an over-robe, barely remembering to slip on shoes as she darted out of the chamber and through the Manse, making her way out into the courtyard. She was vaguely aware of her guards shadowing her, but they always gave her space when they could. She wasn’t too worried about them, especially having sent word ahead to Tops that she might have a visitor. With Ace temporarily out of the picture, any requests she made went straight to the top, which had been humiliating on more than one occasion.
She made it to the courtyard, breathless, just in time to see him jumping down from the edge of the wall and landing, crouching cat-like before rising to his feet. Suddenly, she was more worried about her guards. The only reason he wouldn’t phase directly here was if he was trying to avoid detection. She stood in the center of the courtyard, torn.
Hound apparently wasn’t worried about anything as he strode over towards her, eyes scanning the building. As soon as he stepped within the torchlight, however, chaos erupted. Audrey was pushed back and there was suddenly a human wall between her and Hound. She fell, scraping her palms against the stone as she caught herself. Brushing her hands gingerly against her robe, the skin of her palms already prickling with a burning sensation, she forced herself back up to her feet and elbowed her way through her guards.
“I had orders delivered that I was having company tonight.” Embarrassment made her words snippier than usual and while the Seekers allowed her to come into their ranks, they wouldn’t let her advance.
“Lady, I’m not sure you’re aware of who this is.” Dagger was staring hard at Hound, gaze unfriendly. His hand was on the hilt of his sword and he looked more than willing to put it to use.
Audrey arched an eyebrow at him, trying to stay calm. “Yes, because I routinely invite strange Seekers to visit me on the eve of the solstice.” She blew out her breath, trying again. “This is Hound, former leader of the Midwest Brotherhood. Tainted Seeker, and the only one on our side.”
“He’s a threat, Lady.” Dagger seemed quite certain of his statement, and Audrey had to wonder if there’d been bad blood between the two before.
“He could no more hurt me than he could himself.” She couldn’t make herself look at Hound quite yet. This whole situation was starting off horribly awkward.
Owl looked over at her, suddenly intent. “What do you mean by that, exactly?”
Dagger snorted. “She obviously thinks she knows him well enough. Lady, I’m sorry, but you’re a poor judge of character.”
“That’s enough out of you.” She walked right up to Dagger, poking him in the chest and staring up at him, indignant. “If I pushed, I could know his every thought, every emotion. Any pain I feel, so does he. I don’t have to judge him.”
Owl swore softy under his breath, motioning for the squad to drop back. “You’ve marked him.” They all obeyed except for Dagger, who had his upper lip curled.
Audrey turned to the older man, the gray hairs in his salt and pepper beard glinting in the torchlight. “What do you know of marks?”
Owl glared at Dagger, not speaking until the other man finally stepped away from Audrey. “My father was marked.” His eyes flicked back to her. “Has it been cemented?”
She frowned, brows furrowing, though at least she knew what the phrase meant, now. “No.”
“Where’s Ace?” Hound finally broke his silence, eyes flicking between the assembled team suspiciously.
Audrey sighed, turning slowly to face him. “He left.”
Hound crossed his arms over his chest. “Left.” He stared down at her. “When?”
“Two weeks ago.” She didn’t like admitting it, because it was one more reason for him to decide this wasn’t going to work.
The grim set of his lips seemed to reinforce her line of thinking. “Why?”
Audrey threw her hands up, exasperated. “Can we get a little privacy here, please? We’ve already ascertained that he’s no threat.”
“My apologies, Lady. Please check in with me if you choose to leave the premises.” Owl gave her a slight bow, motioning for the team to take up perimeter positions throughout the courtyard. Dagger never once turned his back, stepping backward to keep them in his sight.
Audrey headed over to the stone bench near the fountain, sitting down delicately. Hound hesitated, but eventually followed her over. He didn’t sit, standing with his arms still crossed over his chest.
“He said he needed space. I leave the twins each afternoon and he comes to visit them. He’s finally started talking to me again. Only about the kids, but it’s a start.”
Hound shook his head, shaking out his arms. “I knew this was a mistake.”
“It’s not a mistake. For fuck’s sake, will no one ever listen to me?” She wasn’t sure when she’d gotten so frustrated, but the cursing and raised voice were not at all like her.
Hound stared at her, head tilted slightly to the side like he was trying to figure her out. He came over and sat next to her on the bench. “I’m listening.”
She didn’t think, she just opened her mouth and let whatever was inside come out. “The first solstice I was here, did I have a choice? No. Gretta just threw in some random Seeker with me, and wouldn’t even tell me who it was. I went weeks without knowing.” She swallowed, shaking her head. “I didn’t find out until Zeche was smuggling me out of there before the attack that it was Ace. After that, we traveled alone until you and Gretta caught up to us. With you being tainted, the potential consequences were too high to risk, so you left. Once again, I only had one option. No choice.”
She took another breath, her chest heaving and catching. “Then came the capture, torture, and I discovered I was pregnant when the taint tried to take my child from me. Except it wasn’t one, it was two. We were gonna be parents. At no point did I ever say, hey, I like this guy and I want to be with him. No. It’s all been circumstance.”
She turned slightly, trailing her fingers in the water of the fountain. “We work well together, and he’s a good guy. I was okay just letting things stay as they were. I certainly wasn’t going to tell him I wasn’t interested in being with him and kick him out, keep him from his own children. Plus, we were on the run, constantly moving. He was the one person that could be trusted no matter where I was.”
She put her elbows on her knees, staring at the dirt between her boots. “Things are different, now. People know who I am. They work together to protect me, and with the raid we’ve put a serious dent in Zaddicus’ forces. It’s safer for me now. But all hell breaks loose if I try to make a decision for myself, if I dare to try and choose who I want to be with.”
“Audrey—”
“No. You’re just as bad as the rest of them.” She sniffed, not sure when she’d started crying. She turned away from him, curling her knees up to her chest, dropping her chin to rest on them.
Hound shifted behind her, and it almost sounded like he was going to stand up and leave. She cringed, waiting for it, but it didn’t happen.
“Every time I turn around, you’re saving me from something.” The leather of his pants creaked against the stone as he shifted his weight again. She turned her head slightly in his direction, listening.
The silence stretched on. Audrey sighed softly. “Saving people is kind of my job.”
Hound snorted softly. It was a while before he spoke again. “You’re the only one that’s seen any good in me since it happened.”
It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what ‘it’ was. Ever since Gretta had used the taint to control him the first time, no one had trust
ed him.
“Even Ace would have turned against me. If not for you.” His normally gravelly voice had lost its edge, instead holding onto a note of wonder.
“They couldn’t see, that’s all.”
“You’ve never been afraid of me. Even with Ace out cold in those caves for days. You never once shied away.”
She shook her head silently. There was never anything to fear, once Gretta was out of the picture. Audrey picked up her head, an unsettling feeling coming through the mark.
“I’m the one that’s terrified.”
She could feel it. Disgust, self-loathing, anger, all masking a very real base of fear. The sensation was cut off, but she’d gotten a taste. She cleared her throat. “What are you afraid of?”
He answered faster than she expected. “Every woman in my life has died. I’ve failed every one of them.”
She turned, swinging her legs around to the ground, eyes searching his face. “You can’t blame yourself for that.”
The corner of his mouth twitched. “Pot, meet kettle.”
She rolled her eyes. Of course he’d throw her own words back at her. “I’m not some dainty little flower, Hound.”
His eyes were somber. “But you’re no less precious for it.”
She smiled, touched and simultaneously flustered. She had no clue what to say back to that.
He looked away. “I don’t deserve you.”
The happy feeling vanished and she wanted to smack her forehead against a wall. Instead, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “You deserve everything this life has seen fit to deny you. Most of all, you deserve to be your own man again.”
He stood, shaking out his arms as if he could drain the tension out by doing it. He paced in front of the bench, running his hand through his hair as he came to a stop. “Is that all it is to you? Fixing me?”
“No.”
He searched her face, likely as desperately as she was searching his.
“No.” She sounded more sure of herself. “For once, I’m being selfish.” And I just pray you feel the same way.
He looked torn. He took a few steps closer, casting his eyes off to the side. “I want to be a choice. Not a duty.”
Her insides melted and turned into a puddle of warm goo. “It was duty that kept me from choosing you before.”
The transformation of his features was like the wave of a magician’s wand. The near-permanent frown lines eased, and the corners of his eyes began to crinkle. Slowly, his lips curved upward, pushing his cheeks up and softening the hard lines of his jaw.
She found herself smiling back at him, as if she could resist. “So, are we gonna do this, or what?”
Hound glanced at the sky, squinting his eyes at the rising moon and getting that look he had whenever he was calculating something. “You want to leave now?”
Oh, thank heavens, he’s got somewhere for us to go. “I think we’ve had enough of an audience.”
Hound shook his head, a wry smile on his lips. “Fair enough.” He didn’t offer her his hand, but instead stalked off into the darkness. It took her a minute to figure out he’d gone to talk to Owl, and as she stood from the bench and walked over, both men stopped talking and looked up at her.
“We good?” Hound wasn’t exactly deferential to Owl, but seemed to treat him like an equal.
Owl glanced between the two of them. “When will you be back?”
Audrey had never seen such a perfect example of a deer in the headlights look as the glance Hound threw her way. It took everything she had not to chuckle. “Before sunset tomorrow, at the latest.”
Hound raised an eyebrow at her, but said nothing.
“Well, I’ve got your coordinates. Stay safe, kids.”
Hound shot Owl an expletive-laden glance, to which the older man just laughed.
Audrey found herself gazing up at the balcony with her departure now imminent. The twins had never spent the night without at least one of their parents there. She knew Falda would take fine care of them, but still found herself twisting her hands anxiously.
“Owl?” She called after his retreating figure and he paused, coming back their way. She raised her eyes to the balcony again and he followed her gaze.
“Keep them safe for me. Please.” The anxiety was unexpected and flooding, nearly carrying her away with it.
Owl smiled gently at her. “Like they were my own.” He crossed his fist and smacked it over his heart, dipping his head with the pledge.
“Thank you.” As if words could express her actual gratitude. Hound’s gaze was concerned when she turned back to him, but she put a bright smile on her face.
“I’m ready.”
He offered her his arm and she slipped hers through his. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as the world in front of her vanished.
24
“Have you managed to compile a list of the missing Leaves?”
Ace glanced at Tops, wondering if the man could be any less sensitive. While he was technically representing the Seeker’s interests, there was no need to be senselessly cruel.
“I have, I believe.” Gwyn’s voice was low, her eyes downcast. She slid over a piece of paper with a list of names on it, blessedly short in comparison to the list of Seekers that had perished.
“And do you have a current roster?” Tops barely glanced at the first list, tossing it on a stack of other papers.
Ace frowned, shaking his head and crossing his arms over his chest. This is why Audrey needs to be at these meetings. He never thought he’d see the day that he wanted her here. Normally, things were easier without her. Today, though, they’d both decided it would be better for her to stay at the Manse. Ace was somewhat surprised Gwyn was willing to schedule a meeting the day before the solstice. Apparently, though, the Order had a way to drug themselves with a combination of herbs so they could sleep through the days when they’d otherwise be struck. Most of the women planned on doing that, he’d heard, though a few had sent requests for Seekers to be present. Ace wasn’t sure he understood the reasoning, but that wasn’t his fight to pick. The Order wanted them, they would serve as they always had. Just not him. He couldn’t even handle the thought of it right now. It was bad enough not being with Audrey. Serving someone else? His stomach turned, roiling.
“I do.” Gwyn was stiff, and said little. The disrespect wasn’t lost on her, but she likely didn’t know how to handle it.
Tops perused this list more thoroughly, holding the papyrus-like paper in his hand. “And of these, how many are pure and how many are half-breeds, or worse?”
Gwyn arched an eyebrow. “I fail to see why that matters. You wanted to know how many healers you had. You know.”
A frown tugged at Tops’ lips. “And I also need to know how many women out there may decide to take it upon themselves to destroy the Groves.”
Gwyn’s face remained impassive. “And why do you think they’d do that?”
Interesting. She’s not arguing the possibility, only the motive.
Tops shrugged. “Far be it from me to understand the motives of women kept captive their entire lives. They could hold us accountable for their bad fortune.”
This has gone on long enough. “And they would be well within their rights to do so. Look, Tops. Audrey should really be here for this sort of meeting. Gwyn has provided enough information for us to get started. That’s enough for now.”
Gwyn snorted. “It’s not as if we can leave the tower without you knowing immediately. I fail to see how much damage we could do within a few miles of the tower.”
Tops glanced at him, and Ace raised an eyebrow in response. She’s right, you know. Tops nodded nearly imperceptibly. The two men had gotten good at reading each other’s facial expressions, which was a godsend in situations like this.
“Fine. How many Seekers will you be requesting for the summer solstice?” Tops was letting the matter drop, but Ace knew where he was going with this. Tops wanted to know if there was a possibility of any other
pure-blooded births from the solstice. There was always Audrey…and that is precisely where I want to stop this chain of thought. Because this time, he wouldn’t be with her.
It was hard not to place the blame for that on Hound, and Ace had to constantly remind himself that the man hadn’t asked to be tainted. A moon-struck Leaf was a force of nature, and Ace was one of the few men alive that knew what exactly that meant. While Audrey wasn’t entirely impossible to handle, it could be a bit much the first time. Heavens knew he’d had scratches down his back for days. Then again, Audrey had been nearly feral her first time with him. He hadn’t known. None of them had known.
“Ten of your quietest, gentlest men. I can’t guarantee they’ll all be chosen, understand, but options should be presented.” Gwyn paused, leveling a hard gaze at Tops. “In case it’s been too long for your memories, being chosen is an honor, not a right. It does not entail that a relationship will follow, nor does it provide parental rights to the Seeker in question.”
“I’ll be sure to brief the selected men on what to expect.” That was something he could do, at least. As long as Hound isn’t in the group. Ace honestly didn’t think he could look the man in the face right now without wanting to hit him. Audrey had come home, true enough, but he could tell it was only for the sake of the children. Despite what Gwyn said about Seekers not having parental rights to their children, it was something Audrey seemed to believe in fiercely.
A tap at the door caused three heads to swivel in that direction.
“Enter.”
Ace’s heartbeat quickened as Owl, one of the watch captains of Audrey’s squad, entered the room. He crossed his arm over his chest in a salute to Tops, then turned to Ace. He found himself unable to speak, a lump in his throat.
“Audrey has left the premises. I have their intended coordinates and have set up a warded perimeter one mile outside their location.”
