A Chance with You

by Yahrah St. John

  “That’s not fair, Raina,” Spencer said. “You can’t blame me for this. Alexa could have spoken up. If she’d told me she was pregnant, I would have moved heaven and earth to help her, to get Cameron to see reason and step up to the plate.”

  “Like you did to help him get clean?”

  Spencer stared at her in disbelief. How could she say such a horrible thing to him? She knew how hard it was for him to forgive himself for not being able to help his brother get sober. Why was it that the one person you loved the most could hurt you so deeply?

  “Now I understand why Alexa’s dying words were to go to you. That you’d help me. She knew Cameron had passed away a couple of years before because his death had been splashed across the Miami papers. She knew you would be compelled to help me.”

  When he remained silent, Raina kept going. “Nothing to say? I’m surprised. You’ve been pounding your chest about your rights and what my family and I have been denying you when all along you could have been Zoe’s uncle if you had lifted a finger to help my sister.”

  “It’s so easy for you to put the blame on me and make me the scapegoat, isn’t it, Raina?” Spencer responded coldly. “Instead of looking to Alexa. She was the wrong party here. She was the one who had an affair with a married man and got pregnant. She was the one who set all of this in motion by not being honest.”

  “No, no, no.” Raina covered her ears. “How can you put the blame on my dead sister? You’re being cruel.”

  “Because it’s the truth! So what, I didn’t give her Cameron’s phone number? She could have easily hired a lawyer, found Cameron and served him with paternity papers just like you did to me. But she didn’t. She wanted to be a martyr and act like the big bad athlete had done her a disservice. Perhaps you should look a little closer to home for who you’re truly angry at and not at me.”

  Clearly, Raina didn’t like what he said, because she replied, “I don’t have to listen to this. You’ve been sitting on this info for months, worming your way into my life, into Zoe’s, to appease your own guilt.” She turned on her heel and left the kitchen, but Spencer was not going to give her the last word.

  With three long strides, he caught up with her in the living room. “Yes, I didn’t tell you why I suspected Alexa came to me, but I haven’t been worming my way into your life because I feel guilty. Initially it may have started like that, but I don’t feel guilty anymore.”

  “Oh yeah? Why is that?” Raina asked.

  “Because I’ve grown to care for you, Raina,” he said softly. With his free hand, he caressed her hair and then her cheek. “The past couple of months with you and Zoe have been the best of my life.”

  “Don’t, Spencer...” Raina tugged her arm to pull away from him, but his grip was tight.

  He could feel her resistance to his words, but he was determined to get through to her. He had to. He didn’t want to lose her. He released her arm and cupped her cheek and forced her to look up at him. “I’ve fallen for you, Raina Martin. I’m in love with you.”

  “You’re what?” She looked up at him with such surprise that Spencer couldn’t resist lowering his head to have a taste of her lips. It was a light and soft kiss at first, but then it grew more urgent, more passionate, and his tongue began to play at the sides of her mouth until she parted her lips. He wasted no time, darting his tongue inside to touch hers. He pulled her firmly to him, cupping her buttocks, and she moaned against him as he delved deeper and deeper into the recesses of her mouth.

  She tasted so good that he could go on forever. He would have if she hadn’t begun resisting him. “Spencer, stop. Stop.”

  Her words finally cut through the fog and his passion to register and he released her. “What’s wrong?”

  “What’s wrong is that a lot has been said tonight. And I’m confused.”

  “Are you confused about your feelings for me?” Spencer inquired. “Tell me you don’t feel the same way about me. Because if you do, I’ll know you’re lying.” She couldn’t kiss him like that if she felt nothing for him.

  “I need time to process all of this,” Raina responded, flailing her arms about. “Between my parents, Zoe, you, Alexa and Cameron, I’m so confused. I need to go, and you need to let me.”

  “If I let you go, will you come back to me?” Spencer asked. Despite everything that had happened at her parents’ home, she’d still come to him tonight to talk, so he knew they’d made progress. A couple of months ago, Raina would have never come to him to hear his side of the story. He’d slowly chipped away at the walls she’d erected around her to let him in. He didn’t want to go backward and have her shut him out again. He loved her with all his heart. He couldn’t lose her.

  “I guess you’re just going to have to wait and see,” Raina said quietly before walking out of his penthouse.

  Chapter 14

  Raina was thoroughly confused by the turn of events. So much had happened in the course of the night that she didn’t know what to do. She drove home on autopilot. She’d left Zoe at her parents because she hadn’t known how long her conversation with Spencer would take.

  Raina was thankful for the solace so she could allow her mind to wander and not worry about what her six-year-old niece was doing or how she was coping on her first Thanksgiving without Alexa. And wander her mind did. Spencer wanted a say in how Zoe was raised? Alex came to Spencer and he didn’t tell her? Spencer was in love with her? Any one of these questions was enough to send her mind whirling, but all three?

  As she entered her house from the garage, Raina automatically punched in the security password and set the alarm. Then she went upstairs to her master bedroom and sat on the damask-covered bed. She fumbled with the zipper of her knee-high stiletto boots before the catch finally released and she eased them one after the other down her toned legs. When she was done, she unbuckled the belt over her sweater dress and reached over her head to remove the dress and her undies. Padding into the restroom, she turned on the taps of her jetted bathtub and poured a generous amount of bubble bath in.

  While she waited for the tub to fill up, she went downstairs in the nude to uncork a bottle of wine and pour herself a glass before returning upstairs to sink into the luxurious lavender-scented water. Lying back in the tub with her glass of wine, she thought about the day. How could it all have gone so terribly wrong and right at the same time?

  Although Spencer had never said anything, in her heart of hearts, she’d always known that he wanted a larger role. He loved his niece and felt responsible for her. But her mother just had to keep poking the tiger until Spencer had snapped. Despite his anger at her mother, Raina didn’t believe Spencer would take her to court to force the issue because it wouldn’t be in Zoe’s best interest. But she had to be willing to compromise.

  Raina took a large sip of her pinot noir.

  What she wasn’t so sure about was whether she could forgive his lie of omission. Alexa had come to him years ago, pregnant and alone and needing help, and Spencer had covered for his brother and sent her away. Perhaps if Cameron had known about Zoe, knew he was going to be a father, he would have cleaned up his act. Perhaps he’d still be with them today.

  But was Spencer the only one to blame? He had a point. Alexa could have spoken up. She could have come clean and told Spencer about her condition. Better yet, she could have told Cameron about Zoe years before his death in a car crash. Zoe had been two years old when he’d died. Was it fair to solely blame Spencer for her twin’s shortcomings?

  Alexa was not blameless by any means, Raina thought as she indulged in more wine. She’d knowingly had an affair with a married man. Their parents had taught them the difference between right and wrong. But then again, they had always held Alexa to a different standard. She’d been so high on her pedestal, she probably thought she was justified in whatever she did, including sleeping with a married man.r />
  But Spencer should have told her the truth from the start; he shouldn’t have kept the fact that Alexa had come to him seven years ago from her. It did make her doubtful if she could believe the last thing he’d said to her. That he’d fallen in love with her. Did he really mean it?

  She sure hoped he meant it because then it would mean she wasn’t alone in her feelings. She’d been in love with Spencer for a while, but she hadn’t dared to say the words aloud for fear he didn’t feel the same way. But he’d said it tonight. Should she take a chance and tell him that she’d fallen for him, too?

  Raina lowered her empty wineglass to the ledge of the bathtub. She wasn’t going to find all the answers tonight to all the questions that plagued her. After lathering her skin and rinsing off, Raina exited the bathtub and hugged a large fluffy cotton towel around her bosom. After she’d dried off and changed into a sleep shirt, she drifted off to sleep.

  * * *

  Spencer stared at the calendar perched on his office desk. It reminded him that the father-daughter dance with Zoe was approaching on Friday. The problem was he hadn’t heard from Raina in nearly a week since she’d come to his penthouse after that disastrous Thanksgiving meal. He’d hoped after he’d revealed that he was in love with her that Raina would have come to him and repeated the words back, said she loved him as much as he loved her, but she hadn’t. She’d stayed away. And it scared him. Had he lost her for good?

  “Mr. Davis, Ty is on the line for you,” Mona said through the intercom.

  “Thank you, Mona,” Spencer said and picked up the receiver to talk to his best friend.

  Like Raina, Ty had been MIA for nearly a week. He probably felt bad that he’d opened his big mouth and told Raina about Spencer’s involvement in Alexa’s paternity reveal. But Spencer didn’t blame him. He hadn’t known that Raina would use her key to come to his place and overhear their conversation. Further, the truth would have come out eventually and it might as well have come out now before Spencer fell further in love with Raina only to have her walk away from him.

  “Hey, man,” Spencer said. “How are you?”

  “The more important question,” Ty said on the opposite end of the phone, “is how are you? I know I messed up royally on Thanksgiving, and I’m truly sorry.”

  “Listen, Ty, don’t worry about it. You didn’t say anything that shouldn’t have been said.”

  Ty paused for several beats. “How’s Raina?”

  “Dunno. Haven’t heard from her.”

  “It’s been a week.”

  “I know.”

  “Did you guys talk at all after I left?” Ty inquired. “Doesn’t she know that you’re not to blame? Alexa could have told Cameron, too.”

  “I said as much to Raina.”

  “And?”

  Spencer shrugged. “And nothing. She listened to what I had to say. Listened as I told her I loved her and then she left.”

  “Loved her?” Ty repeated Spencer’s words. “Did you say love?”

  “Yes, I did. I love Raina. I love everything about her. Her beauty, her wit, her charm, her incredible body, the incredible food she makes, her maternal instinct even though she doesn’t think she has one. I love it all.”

  “Did you say that to her?” Ty asked. “Because if you did, I can’t imagine she would have walked away.”

  “No, I started to say more but she was staring back at me so shocked that I was afraid to spill my guts and have her walk away. It would have devastated me, like when I lost Cam, and I doubted I would recover.”

  “Ouch. So what now?”

  “I don’t know. I guess I wait. She told me she needed time to process it and I want to give that to her, but Zoe asked me to the father-daughter dance at her school and it’s coming up in a few days. What should I do?”

  “You keep your word to your niece,” Ty replied as if the answer was clear. “And then you tell that woman just how much you love her. And I promise you if you tell her everything you’ve told me, she can’t help but tell you she feels the same.”

  “You really think so?” Spencer asked incredulously.

  “I know so. Trust me on this,” Ty said.

  “Time will tell,” Spencer responded. “Time will tell.”

  * * *

  “What about this dress for Zoe?” Raina’s mother held up a black-and-red dress with long puffy sleeves; a high waist with a bow and a pleated tulle-lined skirt.

  Raina, her mother and Zoe were shopping for a dress for Zoe to go to the father-daughter dance on Friday. Although Raina hadn’t spoken to Spencer after their talk over a week ago, she knew that he would come and take Zoe to the dance. Of course, her father was hoping the exact opposite because he’d said as much a few days ago when she’d indicated she hadn’t spoken to Spencer. She was sure her parents would like nothing better than for Spencer to fall off the face of the earth, but Raina knew that would never happen.

  Zoe shook her head. “Grandma, that dress is ugly.”

  “It’s a perfect holiday dress,” Crystal retorted and held up another monstrosity of a dress. It was blue and silver with a faux velvet top, flower detail at the front and ruched short sleeves with a silver sash.

  “I agree with Zoe,” Raina said. “It’s not the right dress for her.” Then she laid eyes on a beautiful red dress with lots of sparkly detail and a gorgeous long overlay skirt. She reached for it instantly and slid it off the rack and held it up to show Zoe. “This is the one.”

  The red dress was sleeveless with a sequin soutache detail on the bodice and a simple empire waist with a bow.

  “I love it, Auntie Raina,” Zoe gushed, taking the dress out of her hand. She walked over to the floor-length mirror and pranced around with it from side to side so she could see it from every angle.

  “I think that dress is inappropriate,” her mother said. “And it’s sleeveless. In case you hadn’t noticed, Raina, it’s the dead of winter.”

  “Mom, Zoe loves the dress, look at her.” They watched her in the mirror. “And she’ll have her coat on over it. She’ll be fine.”

  “Why must you always be so obstinate where Zoe’s concerned? I did rear two girls.”

  Raina was furious with her mother’s tone and grabbed her by the arm, pulling her off to the side so she could speak with her privately while still keeping an eye on Zoe. “And I’m rearing Zoe,” Raina said. “And I’m telling you that you need to start trusting my judgment.”

  “You mean the judgment that had you dating the man that wants to take Zoe away from all of us? You mean that judgment?”

  “Listen, Mother.” Raina pointed her finger at her mother. “I’ve had about enough of this. I’m not going to listen to you bad-mouth Spencer. He’s not to blame for Alexa’s mistakes. He’s right. She should have told Cameron the truth long ago. She had time. Zoe is six, nearly seven. She could have told him the truth before he died in that car crash. But she chose not to.”

  Her mother seemed genuinely offended and tears welled in her eyes at her daughter’s harsh criticism. “How can you say such things about your sister? When she’s dead and can’t defend herself?”

  “Because it’s the truth, Mother, and it’s time you finally start facing it.” Raina sighed. “Alexa was no angel. Zoe is the result of extramarital affair.”

  “No, no, no.” Her mother shook her head as if she didn’t want to hear Raina’s words, but Raina was going to end this once and for all.

  “Your precious Alexa had an affair with a married man and she chose to keep the truth from him that he’d sired a child. It was her choice to raise Zoe alone and only in her last breath did she finally give a clue about Zoe’s true parentage.”

  Her mother broke down and started sobbing as she finally let the truth about Alexa sink in. Raina rubbed her mother’s back as if she were an inconsolable c
hild. “I’m sorry, Mama, but Alexa is gone and you’ve just got me. I know I may not be the first choice of daughter you would have picked to survive, but I’m here and I’m doing the best I can to raise Zoe.”

  Suddenly her mother looked up through her tears. “Why—why would you say something like...like that? I would never want anything to happen to you, Raina. Never.”

  “Really? You could have fooled me,” Raina huffed.

  “I love you, Raina,” her mother said, pulling a tissue from her purse and blowing her nose. “I always have. If I paid more attention to Alexa it was because she always seemed to need it more. She had no self-confidence and never felt lovable. I think it’s why she may have gone looking for it the wrong places, like with that Cameron fellow. But you? Even when you were a little girl, you were always strong and independent. If you would fall, you would just brush yourself off and get back up. But not Alexa, she would fall and cry until someone went to pick her up. Alexa always needed someone.”

  Raina nodded and tears began to descend down her cheeks. “I understand that, Mama. I do. But the thing is, I needed you, too. Sometimes I needed to be held, too.”

  “Oh, Raina.” Her mother pulled her into her arms. “I love you, child. I always have and I always will.” She stroked Raina’s back as she began to cry again.

  “Grandma?” Zoe came toward them after she’d finished admiring herself in the mirror. “Is everything okay?” She looked back and forth between her aunt and grandmother, who had tearstained cheeks and red eyes.

  “Of course, sweetheart,” her grandmother said. “Come give Grandma a hug.” And together the Martin women formed one giant hug.

  * * *

  Spencer tugged on the tie of his suit to make sure it was straight as he stood at the doorway to Raina’s home. He’d finally broken down and called her yesterday to check and see if he could still take Zoe to the father-daughter dance. Raina had said of course, as if it should be obvious to him. It hadn’t been. How was he to know she hadn’t changed her mind and wanted no part of him? She sure as hell had maintained silence when it had come to their relationship.