Dirty Mother (The Uncertain Saints MC Book 5)

by Lani Lynn Vale

  “Alright, boyo,” Griffin said. “Get this covered up so we can get the fuck out of here. Being away from Lenore makes my heart hurt.”

  “Pussy,” I said, but I was beginning to have that same feeling again. Being away from Freya, these last two weeks, had been hard. Knowing she wasn’t anywhere near me had been torture.

  “Y’all keep an eye on Coller?” I asked as I stepped down and went back to the seat.

  Peek handed Freya the bottle of ointment and Freya got to work, using her soft hands to rub it all into the skin of my back over the tattoo and the area surrounding it.

  My mind started to wander, but what Peek had to say next set my teeth on edge.

  “He disappeared into the shadows where we assumed he had his bike parked,” Peek said. “Sent a few of the prospects after him, but they couldn’t locate him.”

  Of course they couldn’t.

  “That’s not very good news,” Freya murmured. “Is it?”

  I refrained from saying just how ‘not good’ it was.

  Instead, I sent a silent plea towards Peek, and he nodded his head in confirmation.

  They’d help me look out for Freya.

  The knot in my belly loosened.

  Thank fuck.

  “You done, baby?” I asked Freya when she started to move down to my ass. I knew for a fact that there wasn’t any ink down there.

  “Oh,” she said, snatching her hand away. “Yes, I’m done.”

  Griffin snorted. “Your body makes her lose her mind.”

  I flipped him off and stood up, but Peek pushed me back down and covered my back in fucking plastic wrap, of all things. “You’ll need this for the ride back home.”

  I didn’t doubt him.

  It was already starting to throb.

  But it was fucking worth it.

  Chapter 17

  I’m with stupid.

  -T-shirt

  Freya

  “Hi,” I said as I walked into the kitchen the next afternoon to find Apple sitting at the kitchen table.

  Apple smiled at me, but behind that smile was a little calculation as well.

  “Yo,” he answered, standing up and making his way to the sink where he placed his mug.

  I took in his attire.

  He was wearing brown slacks that fit him well and a tan long sleeved shirt. He had on a black tie with a white cowboy hat on his head, and my eyebrows furrowed.

  Ridley came in short moments later, in much the same attire, only his shirt was short sleeved rather than long sleeved like Apple’s.

  His hair was a mess, and his beard was trimmed today, coming to a stop closer to his face than it had been yesterday.

  He moved stiffly, and I hid a smile as I saw him move carefully, being sure to keep his back away from accidentally being touched.

  My nipple piercing felt pretty raw, too.

  Which was why I wasn’t wearing a bra.

  I’d put a sweatshirt on over my shirt, though, in hopes that I wouldn’t show everyone in the house my new accessories.

  Ridley took his gun out of his holster, followed by his nightstick, and placed them both on the table in the middle of the room before he walked to the fridge and opened it, scanning its contents.

  “Have you eaten yet?” he asked.

  I shook my head.

  “No,” I answered, walking further into the room. “I’m just getting up.”

  He grunted.

  “Must be nice,” he said. “I’ve yet to go to sleep.”

  He said it as an accusation as he stared at me over the fridge door.

  I shrugged. “You could’ve called and achieved the same effect.”

  He growled in frustration, but Apple laughed, drawing his ire.

  “What are you still doing here?” he asked. “Don’t you have some innocent duck hunter to harass?”

  “I came home for lunch, just like you did,” he answered calmly. “What’s it to you?”

  Ahh, he was a game warden.

  That made sense.

  His badge didn’t look like the usual law enforcement badge.

  The patch looked a lot more familiar now, too.

  “How’s my niece?” he asked. “I haven’t seen her in a couple of days.”

  “She’s teething. Kitt’s tired as hell,” Apple answered. “And Kitt’s mad that you keep posting people outside of our house when you or I’m not here.”

  “She can suck it up,” Ridley shrugged.

  My brows furrowed. “Don’t you have this place monitored 24/7?”

  Ridley turned to me.

  “Yeah,” he responded.

  “And what’s the point of having a man outside and the place wired?” I asked. “You have the feed monitored by a live person, from what she told me last night when we got in.”

  “I do, and what happens if something happens to her, and there’s no one close enough to do anything to help her?” Ridley asked. “I’ve been doing this for a long time. I know what she needs.”

  “That’s what 9-1-1 is for, brother,” Kitt breezed into the room, her baby in her arms.

  My eyes went to the little bundle of pink, and my heart lurched when Ridley walked up to her and ran his finger down the baby’s cheek.

  “You forget,” Ridley muttered. “That I’ve had to witness what happens to you during one of your seizures. I’ve had to do things to you that most brothers should never have…”

  Kitt held her hand up. “I thought we decided that we’d never discuss what you’ve had to do? Because I don’t like to think about it, either.”

  My eyes went back and forth between the two, enraptured.

  “Give me my kid if y’all are gonna duke it out,” Apple snapped.

  Ridley ignored him and picked Emily up out of her blanket, disturbing her warmth, and then her sleep, as he did.

  Ridley smiled when she started to cry.

  “That’s what I like to hear,” he said happily.

  I snorted, bringing Ridley’s eyes to mine and he grinned.

  “My brother likes to wake her up after she’s had her bottle because he likes to hear her cry,” Kitt said dryly. “And he’s mean about it, too.”

  “That’s kind of…morbid,” I finally got out, looking at Ridley with a frown.

  Ridley shrugged. “Everyone likes the sleeping babies. The screaming, though, makes me feel alive.”

  “That’s strangely metaphoric,” I finally settled for. “You want babies of your own?”

  It was an idle question, but the vehement shake of Ridley’s head and his, “Hell fucking no, I don’t want kids,” had me reeling back in surprise.

  How could someone that loved kids—and I could tell that he loved them—not want kids of his own?

  Ridley’s radio squawked, interrupting anymore talk of kids or his niece.

  “Deputy Walker,” a woman’s voice called, sounding slightly distorted through the small radio at Ridley’s shoulder. But I didn’t miss the worry in her voice. “There’s a couple of feds here to see you. They’re waiting in your office, and I haven’t been able to get a hold of the Chief.”

  “Fuck,” Ridley sighed. “I’ll be right in, Joanna.”

  With that, he passed Emily off to her father, then took his leave with a wave in my direction.

  I raised my brow at that.

  I didn’t really know what I’d expected, but a hug or something was at least on the list.

  I got a freakin’ nod of his head and a wave.

  Impressive.

  “Give him time,” Kitt said softly. “He’s breaking all his rules for you.”

  “What?” I asked in confusion.

  Kitt nodded. “He is. Rule one is to not date, ever. Two is to never bring a woman home. Three is to make no attachments. Four is to run far and wide if he smells a commitment.”

  I blinked.

  “What?” I asked. “Who has rules like that?”

  “
Your man does, that’s who,” Apple declared.

  “How do you know, Apple?” I asked, turning more fully towards him so I could get his perspective.

  “Core,” he said. “Can’t have you calling me Apple, too. Then everyone else will want to do it.”

  I blinked. “Okay,” I conceded. “But you didn’t answer my question.”

  “Because everyone who lost something has to protect themselves somehow,” he answered evasively.

  “What are you talking about?” I wondered aloud. “Who did he lose?”

  Kitt’s brows lowered down in a frown.

  “His wife, that’s who,” Kitt informed me. “Hasn’t he told you yet?”

  No. Because had he told me, I wouldn’t have been playing the part of the confused girlfriend.

  Or was I a girlfriend?

  Was I just a girl that he was worried about?

  He hadn’t been interested in getting me home until he found out that Hanson Coller had made his presence known there.

  How convenient is it that he shows up the day that Hanson makes an appearance?

  Too big of one, that’s what.

  One would think that after all this time we’d been talking, nearly three whole months, that the subject of once having a wife would have come up.

  But it hadn’t.

  And I was left wondering why.

  ***

  It took me nearly half the day to realize that the room Ridley had set me up in wasn’t his.

  When I’d first arrived, it was in a heap of exhaustion.

  I’d been way too tired to care about where he was putting me for the night.

  I’d barely shuffled in after the four-hour long drive on top of the twelve hour shift I’d just been a part of.

  Now, though, as I was lying there getting ready for bed, I could tell that this room wasn’t anybody’s.

  It lacked ‘shit’, as I liked to call it.

  No clothes. No knick knacks, whether it be spare change or dirty clothes.

  Hell, the pillows and bedding even looked new and unused.

  I doubted anyone ever slept in here.

  In fact, I doubted that anyone ever stepped foot inside the room except to change the sheets and dust every once in a while.

  So there I sat, in the middle of my borrowed bed, and thought about what I’d gotten myself into.

  The longer I sat there, the more I decided that I really should just leave.

  I’d made a promise to stay, but that was before I realized I was falling in love with someone that was still pining over his dead wife.

  A wife that I didn’t know a damn thing about, and hadn’t known anything about until earlier in the day.

  To add insult to injury, I hadn’t even learned of the wife from Ridley. I’d learned about her from his sister.

  A timid knock had my head turning to face the closed door.

  I knew for certain it wasn’t Ridley.

  He wouldn’t have knocked.

  So I got up, sighing all the way, and walked to the door, waiting to see what was on the other side of the door.

  Surprise lit my face as I opened the door to find Core on the other side.

  “Can I help you?” I asked him, exhaustion rolling over me.

  I’d had a long day.

  I’d helped Kitt clean after the men had left, and I hadn’t stopped cleaning until about a half hour before when the house went quiet after everyone had retired to their bed.

  “Your dog’s here,” he pointed behind him.

  I smiled and opened the door wider, uncaring that my hair was a mess and I wasn’t wearing shorts. The shirt I was wearing was my brother’s, and it was long enough to be a dress on me.

  I dropped down to my knees and held my hands open for Sharpy.

  Core let him go and he bounded to me, licking me from head to toe in excitement.

  “Oh, I missed you,” I told him excitedly.

  I’d boarded him. The place where I was staying didn’t allow pets, and although it’d broken my heart, I’d taken him to the vet and given him to them with the promise that I’d be back to get him soon.

  “Thank you,” I said to Core. “I really appreciate you going to get her.”

  “It wasn’t him,” Ridley’s deep voice said from the darkness beyond Core.

  I followed the sound of the voice, finding him deeper in the shadows.

  “Thank you,” I replied softly.

  He shrugged, then disappeared down the hall as if he’d never been there in the first place.

  “Where are you going?” I called to him.

  “To bed,” he muttered darkly.

  “But you just got back!” I yelled, looking at my watch and seeing it was only eight.

  “So what?” he asked, his voice cut off abruptly by the slam of his door.

  Frowning, I watched where he’d disappeared, and then looked up at Core in confusion.

  “Like I said,” he muttered. “Gotta give him time.”

  I didn’t want to give him time. That was the problem.

  I’d given him plenty.

  I looked at the room behind me, seeing all of my stuff that’d been driven in my car by one of the prospects straight to Ridley’s place, then back at Core.

  “Yeah,” I said. “Thanks.”

  He nodded, then he, too, disappeared.

  It took me about five seconds to decide to leave.

  I blame it on my period—my inability to think straight.

  But I’d had enough.

  For some reason, even the thought of staying here when he obviously didn’t want me in the space that he’d shared with his wife was unbearable.

  So I did what any woman who was hurt, pissed off and not thinking straight would do.

  I left his stupid ass and went back to my house.

  I wasn’t driving all the way home in the dark.

  And I had to grow a pair and get it done eventually.

  Now was better than staying at Ridley’s where I wasn’t wanted.

  It proved to be a very bad decision on my part.

  Very, very bad.

  Chapter 18

  Sometimes I use words I don’t understand so I can sound more photosynthesis.

  -T-shirt

  Ridley

  I woke up two hours after going to bed in a cold sweat.

  Nightmares swirled in my brain, and I swallowed thickly to coax the bile back into my belly where it belonged.

  Freya dying.

  That’d been the fourth dream this week about her dying.

  I picked at the comforter that covered my body.

  It was the same one Aerie and I had gotten on our wedding day.

  I hated it.

  Hated the color. Hated the way it felt. Hated that it reminded me of her.

  Hated might not be a strong enough word for what I felt about the stupid comforter.

  My eyes scanned the space surrounding me, and what I saw made my heart hurt.

  Everything screamed Aerie.

  The curtains. Her jewelry box.

  Without thinking, I threw off the comforter covering my lower half, wadded it into a ball, and threw it onto the floor.

  Then, without another thought, I started gathering everything that reminded me of her.

  Everything.

  Once I was done, I walked into the kitchen, grabbed a black trash bag from under the sink, and went back to my room where I proceeded to throw Aerie away.

  Everything that she was, memorialized for the last five years, gone in a matter of minutes.

  Once I was done, I looked around at the bare room, my heart beating a frantic tattoo against my ribs.

  But as I looked, I realized everything that I’d been holding onto, wasn’t really Aerie at all.

  Aerie was gone, and it was time for me to stop acting like the poor, wounded widower and take control of my life.

  If I wanted Freya in my life, I had
to stop giving her mixed signals.

  And I’d start by telling her about Aerie right this second.

  I didn’t even spare a glance at the clock, because if I had, I would’ve probably halted and waited for morning.

  But I didn’t.

  Padding down the hallway, I peeked my head into the bedroom I’d stashed Freya in and studied the bed.

  It was empty.

  Frowning, I walked further into the room, flipping the lamp on at the bedside as I did.

  “Freya?” I called loudly.

  She didn’t respond.

  My niece did, though.

  Trying to hide my smile, I walked out into the hallway and moved one door down, opening the door to Emily’s room and smiling when I saw her flailing in the bed.

  “What’s wrong, pretty girl?” I asked, reaching for her.

  “Probably the fact that you woke her up because you’re screaming at three in the goddamned morning,” Apple growled from the doorway.

  I shrugged.

  “Where’s Freya?” I asked him. “Did you pass her in the living room?”

  “Nope,” Apple held out his hands for Emily.

  I handed her over and walked into the living room.

  By the time I hit up the garage, I knew she wasn’t there.

  “Shit,” I groaned, walking back to my bedroom and getting my phone.

  Pressing her number into the dial screen, I waited while it rang and rang.

  She never answered.

  I called again.

  She still didn’t answer.

  “Fuck,” I said, dropping the phone onto my bed.

  Where was she?

  I knew she wouldn’t go home.

  She wasn’t that crazy.

  She knew I was having her here with me not just because I wanted her here, but because fucking Hanson Coller was a douchebag and deadly when it came to me.

  Since he knew I was with Freya, he’d stop at nothing to fuck with her.

  I wasn’t sure if he’d kill her, but I wouldn’t put it past him.

  I’d taken his son away, and he’d never been very happy about that.

  By the time I was able to get Wolf on the line, I had worked myself into a fine panic.

  “What?” Wolf asked, his voice thick with sleep.

  “I need you to tell me where Freya’s car is right now,” I said, staring at the part of the driveway where her car had been when I’d arrived home.