River... Redeemed (Studs & Steel Book 2)

by Heather Mar-Gerrison

  “Why didn’t you tell me you’d fucked the boss?”

  River looked at me with slightly narrowed eyes, “Because it’s not important.” He said calmly.

  I huffed a loud breath, “Well, it’s fucking important to me,” I said hotly, “Things like that bother me.”

  “Why?” he asked, his eyes glittering, “You and I are nothing but fuck-buddies – and it happened long before I even knew you.”

  My stomach dropped, “No.” I said, “We’re not fuck-buddies – we’re full on lovers. We haven’t just been fucking and you can’t pretend that’s what’s been happening – we’ve been having an affair, whether you want to admit that or not.”

  He shrugged, “I’m happy to admit that – it’s you who won’t tell your boyfriend. It’s you who wants to stay in your ‘committed’ relationship.”

  My eyes filled with angry tears. He was right. I was the one who wouldn’t admit what I was doing but I was so scared that he’d only want to use me for a few weeks and then he’d find someone else – he’d slept with everyone – his boss included!

  “Yes,” I fired back at him hotly, “I do want to stay with Jake – because he loves me and I trust him.”

  River gave me an assessing look. “I find it safer not to trust anyone.” He said.

  The afternoon went quickly and River dropped me off at home, got changed into his dancing clothes and was gone again without a word.

  Jake looked up at me as I went into the lounge, “Hey, babe.” He said, “Good afternoon?”

  I shrugged, “Meh,” I said, “It was okay.”

  He frowned, “Have you and River fallen out?”

  I shrugged, “No.” I lied, “He just had to get off quickly – we got out of work later than usual with it being Christmas – people want to stay and chat so we were a little pushed for time.” Well, that at least was true enough, but the tension between us was clearly becoming obvious. I’d have to make a special effort to start being a little friendlier.

  I looked around the room, “Shall we go and buy a tree and some decorations – this place looks like a fucking morgue.”

  He grinned and nodded, “That sounds like a plan.” He said, “Come on – we’ll go to the supermarket near the roundabout – it’s full of stuff.”

  I brightened, “We could get a turkey too.” I said, “That would be amazing.”

  We set off, full of plans for Christmas Day.

  We got back two hours later, the car boot full of festive food and enough decorations to do about ten trees, never mind the one we’d picked.

  “Are we gonna head over to Studs and Steel, then?” Jake asked once the tree was fully dressed and twinkling beautifully.

  I sighed. The last thing I wanted to do was watch River and his dancing buddies simulating sex that I’d never have with him again. “Sure.” I agreed, “Let’s go and get changed.”

  Jake caught my hand as we started up the stairs, “I know I’ve always said no about bottoming, Jo,” he looked at me, his soft brown eyes looking into mine worriedly, “But if it means so much to you – I’ll give it a go.”

  I swallowed. The truth was that I didn’t really want to give it a go. I didn’t really want to do it at all with him anymore. All I wanted was River... I forced a smile, “Let’s talk about it again after Christmas, huh?” I said, “I don’t want to pressure you.”

  He nodded and smiled, “Whatever you want, baby.” He said, “Whatever you want.”

  The club was heaving as we got there. My eyes immediately found River’s on his podium. He stared at me and then turned around, quite pointedly.

  He was dancing with Alfie and Simon and he shouted something to the pair of them.

  The next second they were simulating a three-way and I could see twenties being throw up to the podiums.

  “Un-fucking-believable.” Jake hooted with laughter but I could see that he was really turned on by their erotic show.

  I was disgusted. “Yeah,” I agreed, “Fucking gross.”

  Jake frowned, “You don’t think that’s sexy?” he asked me, looking utterly bewildered.

  I shook my head, “No.” I said, “I think it’s crass and I think your friend is a dog.”

  Jake chuckled, “Well, no one’s arguing with that – but he sure knows how to work a crowd. I’ve never seen so many horny guys in one place.”

  It was true. There were guys grabbing guys all over the place, kissing under the mistletoe that was hanging from the three podiums. Some were even on their knees giving each other blow jobs.

  I couldn’t deny it was exceedingly sexy viewing – but my feelings for River were beginning to get out of control. I didn’t want him kissing anyone else – I wanted him to only be kissing me. And yes – I’m quite aware that I was being completely selfish. I still hadn’t made a decision to finish things with Jake, after all...

  “Let’s just have a drink and go home and get laid.” I said. That was the answer – go home and make love with my man...

  He nodded eagerly, “Sure.” He said.

  Chapter 42 – The real River...

  River

  I could tell by the expression on Jodie’s face that he was utterly outraged that I was kissing Simon and Alfie. But this was my job and I wasn’t about to start apologising for it.

  I wasn’t, however, wishing to see his look of disappointed disgust either so I turned my back on him. I didn’t need his disapproval. I had low enough self-worth as it was.

  They disappeared to the bar and that was the last I saw of them all evening.

  Once I arrived home, it was clear that they’d come home early – and for good reason.

  I could hear Jodie’s cries of ecstasy from the front door. The bastard. He did that on purpose...

  *

  I caught up with him over breakfast the next morning, “You were having a good time when I got home last night,” I said drily as I put the coffee pot on. I turned to face him, “– but let me ask you something,” I narrowed my eyes at him, “– who was it you were imagining you were fucking in your head?”

  Jodie looked at me as if I was something he’d just stepped in, but his red face gave him away, “Fuck off.” He said, “I don’t have to imagine anyone – unlike you, I’ve got what I want.”

  I swallowed and nodded. That had hurt more than I thought it would, “Of course you have.” I said, “And that’s good.” I took a deep breath. This game of cat and mouse we had going on had to end. “I’m sorry for ever coming between you two.” I said, “Rest assured it will never happen again – I promise that I’ll never bother you again. I’ll make sure of it.”

  He looked at me suspiciously, “Good.” He said, “That’s quite a relief actually.”

  I nodded, “Friends?” I asked, as my heart broke in two.

  His beautiful smile was genuine enough. He nodded in relief, “Of course we’re friends.”

  I nodded, “Right.” We wouldn’t be friends for long. I knew he was putting a brave front on it and if I didn’t do something to make him hate me, we’d continue to be attracted to each other – poisoning his relationship with Jake and ultimately, ruining my friendship with the only guy I’d ever had a lasting relationship with. I was going to have to make him see what I really was... The real River...

  *

  My heart was heavy on the way to work. Jodie chattered on about all sorts of stuff. “I’ve got you a great present for Christmas.”

  I blinked, “You got me a present?” I asked in surprise.

  He nodded gleefully, “It’s nothing much,” he said, biting his lip, “But I couldn’t stay in your house pretty much rent-free and not buy you a gift.”

  I smiled. He was unbelievably cute. I felt guilty for not even thinking about gifts and shit, “I didn’t buy you anything.”

  He shrugged, “Doesn’t matter.”

  I smiled at him, “And I never thanked you for the tree and all the trimmings either – it looks lovely – thank you.”

  He beamed at
me, “It’s fine.” He said, waving his hand in the air, “I just hope the turkey’s okay tomorrow.”

  I grinned, “I’m quite sure it will be absolutely perfect.” I said.

  Chapter 43 – Christmas Eve from hell...

  Jodie

  Christmas Eve at a restaurant – even for the afternoon shift – was unbearably busy when Luca Toscano was the head chef of the establishment. I swear I’d never seen finer food being produced. He and Sam worked together like a well-oiled machine and their kitchen hands were in tune with them too; plate after plate of perfection were being delivered to delighted customers. There was no way he wasn’t going to have a Michelin star before long...

  It was exhausting, but great fun and I was buzzing to know that neither River, nor I were working Christmas Day. That was a job for Mandy and Franny...

  Tomorrow was a day for me to be with my two favourite people – and I wanted it to be perfect...

  “Ready to go?” River asked with a smile.

  I nodded, “Definitely.” I said, “I’m absolutely knackered!”

  He chuckled, “I’ve still got five hours of dancing to do too.”

  I shook my head, looking at him in bewilderment, “But it’s not your night in, is it?”

  He shrugged, “Alfie swapped.” He said, not looking me in the eye.

  I frowned, “Since when?”

  He raised an eyebrow, “Who are you?” he asked, “My mother?”

  I shrugged. I was disappointed that we weren’t going to spend the evening all together, “Just thought you could do with a rest...”

  He grinned and shrugged, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead, dude.”

  *

  River

  Maybe it was a stupid move of me to bring two guys home on Christmas Eve, but I had to make sure our affair ended – and ended properly.

  It was going to kill me for him to look at me with hatred in his eyes – but that was easier to live with than the longing I could still see there at the moment. He couldn’t have both Jake and me – and he wasn’t going to choose – so I’d been forced to make the choice for him and there was only one way I knew how to do that...

  I stuck my key in the front door and giggled as the door swung inwards with me still kind of attached to it, “Ooops!” I whispered loudly, sending the three of us off on a new bout of giggles.

  Jake appeared in the hallway, “Oh, hi, River – hi guys.” He added uncertainly as he spied my two companions, “We’re just watching Love Actually – wanna join us?”

  “Oh, that’s my favourite movie!” Shaun gushed.

  “You old romantic,” his boyfriend, Ashley, said, “Come on then – let’s go and watch it.”

  I grinned and showed them to the lounge.

  Jodie was sat on the sofa to the left of the TV. I chose the one on the right so he had the best view of the boys and I making out with each other.

  Ashley turned to me first, “Hey gorgeous,” he said, “How about another one of those delicious kisses.”

  I grinned and leaned into him. I made sure I used plenty of tongue, making him groan and writhe ridiculously. He was a total drama queen. It worked though. I looked over at Jodie as I plundered Ashley’s mouth with my tongue. He was watching me. His face contorted with rage. I closed my eyes and continued to kiss the guy. His hand slid down my chest to my crotch where I allowed him to slip his hand inside my jeans.

  Shaun started to kiss my neck and then they started to kiss and touch each other as he trailed kisses up to my mouth and joined in.

  Jake was watching the three of us hungrily. Jodie got up and excused himself. The look on Jake’s face said it all. He was torn between watching us and wanting to follow Jodie to bed. In the end he followed him, leaving us to make out without the audience. I quickly disentangled myself from the two of them, leaving them making out with each other. Openly touching each other and beginning to shed their clothing.

  “Condoms and lube are in the drawers upstairs, guys,” I said, “I’m pooped so I’m heading for bed.”

  Shaun looked up and me and blinked, “I thought we were gonna have a threesome?”

  I shrugged, “what can I say – I’m knackered. I’ve been working since eleven this morning – sorry to be a let down – but there’s plenty of toys in there too – help yourselves.” I shot them a grin and winked.

  They looked at each other gleefully and headed off for the spare bedroom I showed them to, hand in hand and still kissing each other like there was no tomorrow.

  I headed for my own room and lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I was broken. The only guy I wanted was currently getting it on in the next room – quite vocally I might add – with his boyfriend... Holy hell. What the hell was I going to do?

  I put my pillow over my head and tried my best not to listen. In the end I guess I drifted off to sleep but I awoke with a bit of a start a couple of hours later. Had I heard something? I lay there for a moment but the whole house was silent – even the twinks had decided to sleep in the end...

  I was absolutely dying of thirst from all the shots I’d had early to give me the courage to bring the guys home. I headed for the kitchen.

  A noise on the stairs alerted me to the fact that I’d been followed. I looked up as Jodie appeared in the doorway. “What the hell are you doing?” he hissed at me.

  I raised an eyebrow at his tone, “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m getting myself a glass of water. I’m thirsty.”

  He scowled at me, “That’s not what I meant and you know it – are you deliberately trying to hurt me by bringing two guys home to fuck?”

  Well, wasn’t that just the height of unfairness? I had to sleep alone, listening to him and Jake going at it all night long but I wasn’t supposed to have a sex life of my own? I looked him in the eye and took a deep breath, “Let’s get something straight here,” I said as calmly and as quietly as I could to say I was in a towering temper, “You decided that you couldn’t keep seeing me behind Jake’s back – and I agreed with you. It was wrong of us. We both accepted and agreed on that. Right?”

  He stood a little straight and stuck his jaw out, “Yeah.” He said.

  I nodded, “So are you telling me that you made a mistake and want to carry on?” Please say you did...

  He frowned, “No,” he mumbled.

  I nodded, “Then why are you so disgusted with me for wanting someone to hold me and to love me and to satisfy me?”

  His face said it all. He was jealous. “Two guys, though River?” he asked, pain and disgust written all over his face.

  I could feel my eyes getting hot. I didn’t want to be a disappointment to him and I really didn’t want to get it on with those two guys either. If that had been my intention at the club, it had certainly diminished on the way home. They could sleep over, sure – but they were in the spare room together. I was definitely sleeping alone.

  Hoping my voice wouldn’t crack and show what I was really feeling, I looked Jodie in the eyes. “This is me, Jodie. The real River.” I shrugged, “This is what I was like before you came along. Jake told you I was this guy – you just got star struck.”

  Jodie’s eyes flashed with anger, “No,” he said, “I didn’t. Not ever. I saw something else in you, that’s all – but I guess I was wrong. I guess you are the shallow lap dancer everyone sees you as. Nothing more.”

  He turned his back to go. I grabbed his arm, “But you’d still come with me to my room if those two guys left.” I said softly, “Wouldn’t you?”

  He shrugged away from me and looked at me as if I was nothing to him, “I’m not into promiscuity, River – and I never have been. This affair we’ve been having is something I never thought I would do. It’s probably for the best that you’ve moved on.” He walked out of the room and I don’t know if he heard me or not. I guess it didn’t really matter either way.

  I sighed, “They’ll be screwing each other’s brains out in the spare room, Jodie. I guess at the end of the day, I have changed
– I don’t want to join them. All I want is you.”

  Chapter 44 – Moved on...

  Jodie

  It was stupid of me to be so angry that River wanted to have sex. Of course he wanted to have sex. It was just that he’d never flaunted it at home before. But he’d shown up just before midnight, definitely having had a couple of drinks – because he’d come home in a taxi – and with two horny looking twinks. The bastard.

  Jake had looked across at the three of them on the sofa all kissing each other and smirked, “Wow, that’s hot.” He said allowing his hand to wander to my crotch. I batted his hand away, “I don’t have sex while others are watching, Jake.” I snapped, “And I certainly don’t want to watch these three – I’m going to bed.” I stomped out of the room, deliberately averting my attention away from River.

  Jake followed me a few minutes later with a massive boner, “Aw, c’mon babe.” He said, stroking himself, “That was hot – you’ve got to admit.”

  Yes. It was. But it was also painful because I was in love with one of the three guys and it really wasn’t fun watching him making out with someone else when I knew what it felt like to be touched and caressed and kissed by him.

  Jake came over and started to kiss my neck. I closed my eyes and tried to forget what I’d just seen. Instead, all I managed to do was to imagine that River was kissing my neck and unbuttoning my jeans. I imagined that it was his hand around my cock, rubbing and stroking me, his lips closing over the head of my cock and sucking, dipping his tongue into the sensitive slit and then licking my length and sucking on my balls.