Playing For Her Heart

by Megan Erickson

  He set his jaw and then plunged inside of her. He immediately began a punishing pace as he gripped her hips, watching their connection.

  He was beautiful, his dirty-blond hair falling in his eyes, his blue irises blazing in the moonlight. Sweat shone off his shoulders, the tendons straining under his skin. “Fuck, Princess,” he gasped. “Fuck, you always feel so good on my cock.”

  His cock felt good inside of her. “Am I worth two grand?”

  He laughed roughly. “Don’t tell your handler, but you could charge way more, Princess.”

  She gripped his shoulders tightly and lifted a leg, curling it around his thigh. “Yeah? I expect a hefty tip, then.”

  “I’d empty my bank account for you if you make it worth my while.”

  Well that was a challenge. She planted her right foot on the bed and with strength she didn’t know she had, she flipped Grant onto his back.

  His eyes widened as she straddled his hips and with one swift motion sank back down onto his cock.

  She planted her hands onto his chest and swiveled her hips. She wanted to get as much out of this time as she could. She wasn’t sure how long this could last, how long she could separate Chloe from the woman in Grant’s fantasy. And she never wanted him to find out the difference.

  So she worked her hips harder, ran her fingers up her sides, cupping her breasts, then into her hair.

  Grant was staring at her breasts, which bounced with every jolt as she rode him hard.

  She reached down, thumbing her clit, reaching for the orgasm that she knew was close, so close, as it always was with Grant.

  “Fuck,” he grunted, his fingers tightening on her thighs. “Fuck, fuck, I’m going to come, Chloe.”

  The veins in his neck were in sharp relief as he seemed to battle his climax, wanting to hold it off. She closed her eyes as her own orgasm curled her toes and forced a cry from her mouth.

  Grant was right behind her, pulsing inside of her, his breath rasping from between his lips.

  She propped herself up with one hand on his abs, rolling her hips slightly, clenching her inner muscles around his cock, cataloging the feel of him. And then she collapsed onto his chest as his arms wrapped around her back.

  She wondered if he could ever like her as Chloe, if she could allow herself to let him in. But she couldn’t imagine anything beyond failing him in some way or another. She wasn’t this fantasy girl come to life. She was Chloe.

  “Hey.” Grant’s voice was low as he shifted under her. “I still owe you a tip.”

  Or not. Chloe sighed, the unfairness of the situation settling deep into her bones. This was her doing, after all. This role-playing. She’d set the parameters of their messed-up relationship. Of course he was only interested in playing the role. Grant was fun and carefree and so super-hot. He deserved a woman who wasn’t a ridiculous, insecure mess like Chloe.

  She took a deep breath and plastered on a smile as she rolled off him. He shifted to his side as she stood beside the bed, beginning to dress again.

  “So,” he said. “Two grand really set me back and I don’t have much food in the house, but I know a place that makes a mean breakfast burrito. Open 24/7.” He waggled his eyebrows. “What do you say?”

  She froze. Was this an extension of their role-playing? Because she wasn’t sure how much longer she had it in her to keep up the role. She was already exhausted and a little foggy from the sex and the facade she’d been keeping up since she got here. “Um…”

  “I got a spare T-shirt or something you can wear, Chlo. Probably a pair of shorts or something, too.” He shrugged, as if the shortened version of her name, said with affection, didn’t steal her breath. “No one where we’re going will care what you look like.”

  “No,” she said, firmly and quickly. The last thing she wanted to do right now was go out in public, as Chloe, without the armor of her clothes or her role. It was no big deal to Grant—Ethan had said he was social, had friends all over town—but that wasn’t her. Going out now would take energy she just didn’t have. And the thought of making small talk while still feeling the effects of him inside of her didn’t sound appealing at all.

  Grant was checking his phone. “What?” he asked distractedly. “If you don’t like burritos, we can just go somewhere else—”

  “No,” she said again and this time he looked up, brow furrowed.

  “No what?”

  “No, I can’t go out.”

  He put his phone to the side and sat up, watching her closely now. “You can’t go out tonight or you…can’t go out ever? What exactly are you telling me here, Chloe?”

  Chloe wasn’t made for relationships. She didn’t know to communicate effectively. She couldn’t even do it with her own family, couldn’t help them through their grief or knit them all back together.

  Emotions and relationships were hard and too gray. She’d stick with debugging computers and out of relationships she had no business being in.

  And above all, she’d stick to the roles she played.

  She lifted her chin. “What, you think you’re my only client tonight?”

  He blinked at her, clearly confused. “Uh…”

  She needed to get out of here before she lost her mind. “So I’m sorry, but you’ll have to do your midnight burrito run by yourself. If you want my services again, you have my handler’s number?”

  He was still staring at her like she’d gone crazy. Something flitted over his face. Frustration, maybe? A little bit of anger? “Uh,” he mumbled again. “Yeah. Yeah sure.”

  She was letting him down already; that was what Chloe did. So this was time for her to get the hell out while maybe he still had the desire to see her again. In a role, of course.

  God, how was this her life?

  She paused in the doorway, biting her lip, thinking she should just go, just leave, but Grant deserved something. She turned her head, to look at him as he sat in his bed, brow furrowed. “Sorry but it’s better this way. What we do now. You wouldn’t want the real me.”

  He looked even more confused. “What does that mean, the real you?”

  That was all she had in her. “You wouldn’t understand.”

  She raised her hand and blew him a flirty kiss, even though she felt anything but flirty, then dashed downstairs, pulling on her crumpled trench coat as she wrenched open the door, getting the hell out as fast as she could, leaving behind a confused Grant sitting naked in his bed.

  But she couldn’t imagine anything beyond failing him in some way or another. She wasn’t this fantasy girl come to life. She was Chloe.

  And Chloe would never be enough for a man like Grant.

  Chapter Nine

  What the hell was that?

  Grant stared at his bedroom door, blinking. Seriously, what the hell?

  He’d gone from having an amazing orgasm to wanting some damn burritos to Chloe disappearing on him before he could figure out what the hell had happened.

  He hadn’t even really thought too much about it, asking her out to get a bite to eat with him. It’d just felt…right. That had been some amazing sex and all he wanted to do was eat and stare into Chloe’s eyes.

  Was that wrong? And why the hell had she looked at him like he’d just asked her to make some lifelong commitment? It was just burritos for fuck’s sake.

  You wouldn’t want the real me. What did that even mean? Chloe had a lot of sides to her, he saw now. Why couldn’t he want more than one?

  Grant ran a hand through his hair and tugged, wishing Chloe was back in his bed, because he wasn’t hungry anymore.

  After he’d slept with her the first time, he’d been mostly glad he didn’t have to deal with the complication of a committed relationship in his life. He was committed to Sydney and his friends and that was all he had time for. That was all he wanted.

  He couldn’t want more with Chloe, could he? The idea of wanting to spend more time with her after sex had sounded damn good. But nah, this was probably better, right? No
strings. She hadn’t wanted him and so he could live with that. His ego was still intact.

  Except, his stomach hurt. It seemed like the roles were all that Chloe planned to give him. And for the first time since they started this charade, he thought that maybe it wasn’t enough.

  The next morning, Grant sipped his coffee and watched as Sydney stuffed her mythology textbook she’d been studying at breakfast into her book bag.

  He’d slept like shit last night because his whole house smelled like stupid flowers from the candle and strawberries from Chloe’s hair and fuck it all, he wanted to rip his nose off his face.

  To top it off, he missed his daughter. They’d both been so busy lately, he hadn’t had a chance to sit down and talk to her like he usually did. He felt like a crappy parent. He needed to get his head out of the clouds and focus on his daughter. “Hey, we never got talk about career day. Did you like the professional you spoke to?”

  Sydney brushed her hair over her shoulder and glanced at the clock. “It was awesome, I had the best mentor.”

  “Really?” He had been pleased with her school. He imagined it was a lot of work to ask community professionals to take time to talk to students, but it was invaluable in his opinion.

  “Yeah, she was really nice and we got along really well. I learned a lot about the field and she made me super-excited about it.”

  “That’s great. What does she do?”

  Sydney dug in her book bag. “She finds problems in software and fixes it.” She pulled out a business card and handed it to him. “And I told her I’d like to meet up sometime to talk more. She said sure but that she’d want a parent present. I guess so she didn’t get in trouble.”

  Grant couldn’t speak, because his tongue froze to the roof of his mouth as he stared at the business card of one Chloe Talley.

  He’d never in a million years thought she’d be at the career fair, so that must have been Ethan’s doing.

  He looked up at his daughter. “Chloe Talley?”

  “Yeah, do you know her?”

  “Sweetheart, Talley is Ethan’s last name.”

  Sydney frowned. “But he’s not married.”

  “No, he’s not. This is his sister.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really. Did she say anything about your last name?”

  Sydney pursed her lips. “I’m not sure I ever said my last name. I told her I was Sydney.”

  The coincidence really wasn’t that great. The community wasn’t that big and the school was surely eager to get a female member of the STEM field.

  “Something wrong?” Sydney asked.

  “No, no, just…you know, this is cool.” God, that sounded lame to his own ears.

  “Well, when I email her, I’ll tell her—”

  “No,” he said before he could think about it. “No, uh, we’ll just have it be a surprise when she agrees to meet, okay?” God, he was a deceitful prick, and he was using his daughter to see the woman he wanted to sleep with again. But Chloe had said he wouldn’t want the real her, and now he was determined to find out who the hell that was.

  Sydney shrugged. “Okay, well I gotta catch my bus. Later, Dad!”

  He waved halfheartedly, and maybe mumbled a good-bye. He clutched Chloe’s business card, running his fingers over the lettering. There was no phone number. Just an email address. He filed it away in his wallet.

  By the afternoon Grant had a headache. A giant one. But he was pretty sure he had reached the daily limit of ibuprofen about three pills ago, so he didn’t think he should take any more. Especially because he was supposed to be working.

  His office door at Gamers opened and shut, and then the leather of the chair in front of his desk squeaked. He raised his head.

  Austin sat across from him, his elbow propped up on the armrest, his chin in his hand. He stared at Grant with raised eyebrows.

  “What?” Grant said irritably.

  “You tell me.”

  Austin was slightly smug. Grant didn’t like it. “What are you doing here?”

  Austin gestured toward the door. “Marley was concerned. She said you’ve been holed up here all day and didn’t flirt once with the hot-ass mail carrier.”

  Grant frowned. “I don’t flirt with her.”

  “Yes you do. And she said you got the Erotech advertising account—congrats on that—but that you didn’t do that little jig thing you usually do when you land big accounts.”

  “It’s called a Riverdance,” Grant mumbled.

  Austin ignored him. “So what’s going on?”

  Grant harrumphed and crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back in his chair. “Since when do you pop in to my office to talk about my feelings?”

  Austin didn’t hesitate. “Since Marley’s in my bed and she told me to get in here.”

  Grant squinted his eyes. “So this is under duress.”

  Austin tilted his head. “Somewhat. But I do care why you’re acting like a hermit.”

  Grant ran his finger along the edge of a yellow notepad, just so he didn’t have to look at Austin. He could email Chloe. He had her email address but somehow that seemed very lame in light of what they had done. And what would he even say in the email?

  “It’s a woman,” he blurted out to Austin.

  Silence. Grant slowly lifted his gaze. His best friend stared at him with a passive face.

  Grant scowled. “No response?”

  “You said three words. I’m going to need more so I know how to react properly.”

  Sometimes Grant wanted to punch Austin. “I met a woman and she’s under my skin, but she doesn’t want me. At least I don’t think she wants me.”

  Austin’s face changed now, softening slightly. He leaned forward. “And you want more?”

  “I guess I’d like the chance to get to know her better. It’s complicated but she isn’t comfortable being herself around me.”

  “And you can’t convince her?”

  Grant threw up his hands. “I have no idea. But Austin, man, she’s beautiful and smart as hell. In bed, she’s…” Grant stared out the window of his office, picturing Chloe’s long hair draped down her back in the hotel room in Philadelphia, then her breasts bared to him in the supply closet of the club, and the sight of her braced against the wall in his house, ass pushed out for him. Just him. “In bed, she’s out of this world,” he finished, thinking that phrase didn’t even come close to what Chloe was like when she let herself go.

  Austin sighed. “You’re a persuasive guy. You can’t give up this easily. Imagine if I would have given up on Marley.”

  Grant wasn’t so sure it was in his power to talk to Chloe. And even though the thought made him want to hurl, maybe Ethan was his only hope in this whole mess. Grant wished he could just forget about her, and return to his uncomplicated life but he simply couldn’t. He’d seen glimpses of the Chloe she seemed intent on hiding—the loving sister, the smart businesswoman, the caring mentor. He wanted her to let him in.

  Grant tapped his fingers on his desk. “You’re right. Maybe I’ll get in touch with her.”

  Austin stood up and stuck his hands in his pockets. “I’m taking Marley out to lunch. Do you need anything?”

  Grant shook his head. “No, and thanks for coming in to talk to me. Tell Marley I appreciate it.”

  “I hope I helped.”

  “Yeah, you did. Thanks, buddy.”

  When Austin had closed the office door behind him, Grant stared at the phone on his desk. Talking to Ethan, coming clean, would be one of the hardest things he’d ever have to do. Ethan was a rational man, but not when it came to his sisters. He carried guilt on his shoulders like a crippling weight.

  Grant wondered how much Chloe was affected by Samantha’s death.

  He wondered if it had anything to do with how she was reacting to him.

  Before he chickened out, he picked up the phone and dialed Ethan.

  “Yes,” his friend answered.

  “Hey, it’s Grant.�
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  “I know that.” Ethan sounded irritated and out of breath.

  “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

  Ethan blew out a breath into the phone. “I’m fine, it’s…Chloe.”

  Grant leaned forward, gripping the edge of his desk with white knuckles. “What’s wrong? Is she okay?”

  “I’ve been calling her and she isn’t answering. She texted that she was fine and to stop bugging her. But fine means not fine, right? I know it’s been a while, but I’m pretty sure when a woman says she’s fine, it’s time to panic.”

  That seemed a little nosy to Grant, but then, he didn’t know their relationship. Still, his chest squeezed. Now definitely wasn’t the time to come clean about what he and Chloe had been doing. He hoped Chloe was okay, and vaguely wondered if this was his fault, if he’d pushed her too far, made her feel unsafe in any way.

  Shit.

  “Is this about Samantha—”

  “No,” Ethan said quickly.

  Grant didn’t ask and he hoped Ethan knew what he was talking about. He did still wonder if Chloe had come to terms with her sister’s passing. Grant wanted to be able to be there for Chloe, to tell Ethan that he cared for her and wanted to help. He hated that he was in this helpless position. “If there’s anything I can do—”

  “It’s fine, Grant, but I have to go. If she doesn’t pick up my phone calls, I’m going over to see her. Did you need something?”

  “Uh, well.” He licked his lips. “I was actually going to ask you for Chloe’s phone number.”

  Silence.

  Grant never could stay quiet during silence. “I had some questions…for a friend…about…security.” He was fumbling over his words. No way would Ethan not see right through that. “But it can wait. Take care of your sister, Ethan.”

  There was a pause. “Will do.”

  The call ended.

  Grant stared at the phone for a minute, silent in its receiver. Then he pulled up his Internet browser and began to research grief. It made him feel a little bit less helpless.