Black Bear Down: BBW Bear Shifter Paranormal Romance (Return To Bear Bluff Book 3)

by Harmony Raines

  “Let’s picture you running through the snow. Can you describe your bear to me?” she asked.

  “He’s big, and black. Different to the grizzlies around here. My dad comes from another town, another mountain range. They moved back there when I left to join the Army.” Jordan’s voice was strained.

  “Is this difficult, being here?”

  “Yes. I can’t picture my bear, not exactly see him, but I can recall all the emotions.”

  “Then describe that to me,” she said. “What it feels like to you to be a bear.”

  “I’ll try.” He closed his eyes, his face screwing up as he recalled things from his past. Slowly, his head tilted to one side, as if he were listening to something. Skyla stood by, letting him take his time; there was no rush, they had the whole day in front of them. “I recall the wet grass beneath my feet, my claws digging into the ground as I walk over the soft earth, the smells of the mountain invading my senses. In the distance, I can hear another bear. It’s not someone I know, so I go on my way.”

  “Tell me, Jordan. How does the change, the shift, happen?” If he could sense that, try to grab hold of it, maybe he would be able to change into his bear.

  “I let my mind drift, let it go out of focus. I’m still aware of who I am and where I am, but then I sense my bear, picture him in my head. Not just a 2D image, I can almost reach out and touch him. And then I do, and a kind of electricity sparks between us and the world falls away, we are the only two things in existence. Then my bear comes forward…”

  “That is amazing, I’d love to see that.”

  He looked at her sharply. “It’s gone. The spark, it’s not there.” Jordan placed his hand on the key to the ATV. “I think we should go.”

  “Jordan, are you sure you don’t want to give it a bit of time?” The mountain pool was so calm, so serene and she wanted him to soak it up, to let the past come to him, in the hope he might find his bear. She had imagined they would come up here, and something would click for him. It hadn’t, and Jordan seemed agitated, his gaze shifting from the ATV, to the trees overhanging the pool, and then to her.

  She placed her hand on his arm, trying to give him some comfort. “I know what you tried to do,” he said, placing his hand over hers. “But it’s no good, he’s gone.”

  “Will you go over it one more time for me?” she asked. “From the moment of the crash. If it’s not too painful.”

  “I don’t see the point,” he said, starting the engine.

  “OK.” She slipped back onto the ATV, holding on to him tightly once more, scared she’d blown it with him. He needed time. Bringing him up here was meant to put him in touch with his other side, not leave him feeling disappointed.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, half turning, and her hands instinctively gripped his body, wanting to hold him, protect him.

  “There’s nothing to apologize for,” she said. “We do this your way.”

  “I’m scared.” His words were forced out, blunt.

  “Scared of what?” Her breath seemed frozen in her body.

  “I’m scared that my bear is gone for good, like my friends who died. If I don’t look for him, I can believe he’s still there, somewhere out of sight.” His body trembled and she held him closer, if that was possible, her body pressed against his back, while she stroked his chest with her hands.

  “That’s natural, Jordan, it really is. I’m not going to rush you. But if we flip it around, you could look at it that if you don’t ever search, you won’t ever find him.”

  “I know. Just give me a bit more time.”

  “All the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Do you promise?” he asked, his head turned far enough around so she could see the fire in his eyes. The breath left her in a sharp huff, leaving her feeling winded, unable to fill her lungs. He had taken her breath away.

  “Jordan, I…” She what? Couldn’t say she would never leave? Or shouldn’t say she would never leave? There was a difference, a whole gulf of difference. “You are my client…”

  “Is that all?” he asked.

  “You tell me?” It was all she could dare at this moment. She didn’t want to risk everything for him, when he still had not acknowledged their bond, if there even was one. There was a chance that he only looked at her the way he did because he was desperate for something to hold onto, something to bring him back to life.

  Coward, she called herself in her head. You know what you are to him, and you are too frightened to say the words. Was it because she needed him to say them first?

  “I will. Soon. There’s something I need to do first.” He throttled forward, and she held on tightly to him as they navigated the rough terrain.

  The next part of their journey was easier, and slower. The burning drive seemed to have left him and he was happy to take a scenic route, stopping every so often to point out places he knew, places he obviously loved.

  “So that ATV was a good idea?” she asked him as they sat on the tip of the Bluff looking down on the town below. The view was amazing; she could see the forests spread out along the lower slopes of the mountain, swathes of browns and oranges as the trees welcomed the changing seasons. They were eating the meager picnic she had prepared. Skyla had decided not to press him anymore about his bear today.

  “Yes. The mountain is my home. If I can’t get up here on two legs or four, then I want to be able to come up here on a quad.”

  “I’m sure Dylan would let you borrow it any time,” she said, hoping she was right. Dylan had been eager to help today, but he did run a business.

  “I was thinking of buying one. I have some money saved up, and it’s not as if I’m going to be spending it on much else.”

  “You can lead a full life, even if you can’t walk.”

  “I know. But the plans I had, the things I wanted to do, have changed now. My priorities have changed.”

  “So we make new plans,” she said.

  “We…?” he asked, his eyes warm on hers, making flames kindle and burn inside her.

  “We. For as long as you want me around.”

  He leaned forward, his hand on her cheek, stroking it softly. “What if I never want you to go?”

  “Then I’ll stay forever.”

  This time she knew he was going to kiss her, and she was sure as hell not going to let him pull back away again. Career or no career, right or wrong, this was where she was supposed to be, here right now, with Jordan.

  Questioning, his lips touched hers, softly, before becoming firmer in each moment, each movement he gave her the chance to back away, to call him a jerk and slap him across the face, but she would never do any of those things. She wanted to tell him how much she wanted this, but this was not time for words. Action was needed.

  Skyla slipped her hand around the nape of his neck, stroking his skin with her fingertips. He trembled, a shiver through his body, did he feel it in his toes? She longed to ask him, but her mouth was too busy, her lips pressed against his. When his tongue slid along her lower lip, she opened her mouth for him, allowing him in, just as she wanted him to let her into his life, to his thoughts, so she could help him.

  It went deeper than wanting to help. When his hand touched her breast, squeezing it gently, she wanted him to lay her down on the coarse mountain grass and make love to her, to put a child inside her, so they could be a family. They were bound together, and she needed him to be ready to admit that. To her and himself.

  He groaned, his mouth urgent, his hands exploring her body. Skyla pulled him closer, offering herself to him; she was his to take. His to claim, mates. Her thoughts flitted briefly to Donnie and his explanation of the bond and the need to make the other person happy. What would it take to bring happiness back into Jordan’s life if he never learned to walk again, and if he didn’t find his bear? Would she be enough to fill that chasm left in his life?

  She would try, try to make their lives perfect, she didn’t care about anything other than being with h
im. Never one for love, not after witnessing her father bringing Skyla up alone when her mom left him for another man, she couldn’t believe they had been brought together for any other reason than they each had what the other one craved.

  They completed each other; they simply had to trust in fate.

  Chapter Twelve – Jordan

  Sweeter than any honey, warmer than any sun, Skyla was the center of his world as they kissed. He wanted to stay like this forever. In her arms, he could forget everything that had happened, everything he no longer was, and be everything she needed him to be.

  But moments don’t last. Life moves on. And he had decided he was ready to move on. Even before this kiss, he had made a commitment to himself, and Skyla, to be the best he could be.

  With these thoughts in his head, he pulled back, his eyes scanning her flushed face, seeing her lips swollen from their kiss, and he smiled. “I couldn’t help myself.”

  “I’m not going to complain about that,” she answered, licking her lips. Did he linger on her lips as she did on his? He could taste her, the unique taste of his mate. And one taste was never going to be enough.

  “You know what we are?”

  “A couple of people sitting on the side of a mountain?” she asked, her expression hopeful. She wanted to hear it from his lips, and she deserved to hear it.

  “You are my mate.” He savored the words. “I should have told you before, when we first met. But I wasn’t ready, didn’t think I had anything to offer you.”

  “You have everything I need,” she said, her hand stroking his cheek. “I’ve never sought out relationships, I’ve thrown myself into my career. But now, being with you. It seems so right. I can’t explain it.”

  “I wasn’t sure if you would feel it the same way I do.” He shook his head. “I always thought it was a shifter thing.”

  “It is. At least for me, it wasn’t a smack between the eyes like it’s supposed to be for you. It’s deeper than that. A knowing.” She kissed his lips, a brief touch. “If you sent me away, I’d live, I don’t think I’d ever forget you, or if it would taint any other relationship I had with a man. But I would live.”

  “Which is why I thought it was better for you to leave. Yesterday, in the hospital, I wanted to scream at you to get out. I wanted to make you see you were better off without me.” He smiled. “But that was yesterday.”

  “And today?” She leaned on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close.

  “Today I’d fight anyone who tried to come between us. I might lose, but I’d fight all the same.”

  “Jordan, I don’t want you to fight other men for me, but I do want you to fight.”

  “My bear?” he asked, a whisper in his head catching him unawares. He stopped speaking, trying to figure out where it had come from and where it had gone.

  “Not just your bear. You need to let your guilt go. Move on, be happy, remember your friends, but take the advice you would no doubt offer them, and live for them, love for them.”

  “And what if I can’t… love…?”

  Her fingers dug into him, he’d shocked her with his words. But then she giggled. “The direct approach. I like it.”

  “I’m serious.” He pressed his lips together and shrugged. “What if I can’t make love to you?”

  “Then we get creative,” she said, and a hint of red flushed across her cheeks. “Sex talk with a man whom I’ve known barely a day! Bear Bluff has been enlightening.”

  “I have been thinking of lots of creative ways to please you.” He grinned and kissed her, taking away her embarrassment and replacing it with something else, something he planned to nurture and make explode, when she was ready. And damn, he hoped she would be ready soon. A stirring in his groin made him pull back.

  “Are you OK?” she asked.

  “Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “Yes. We should go. We have to pick the car up, and I wanted to talk to Dylan about something.”

  “Oh?” she asked.

  “It’s about the job he offered me.”

  “You’re going to take it?” she asked, stunned.

  “Yes. You’re right. I need to get back to normal. Or at least find what my new normal is. Life goes on, and I intend to lead my life to the fullest. On my own terms.”

  She laughed. “That is the soldier in you talking. Welcome back, Sergeant.”

  “I have a good nurse. She’s good at setting me straight.”

  “You are the quickest success story I’ve ever had.” She got up and brushed her jeans down.

  “There’s still a lot I’m going to need your help with,” he said.

  “I know, but we’ll get there.” She looked at the ATV. “First thing we have to do is get you back on the quad. I’m going to have muscles to rival yours soon.”

  She moved around to hook her hands under his arms, and the sense of weakness, of being vulnerable, came rushing back to him. He pushed it aside. If their roles were reversed, she would expect her to allow him to help her. For this to work, he had to embrace any offer of help he needed. He needed to be independent, but he also needed to let go of his obstinacy.

  In his job, rebuilding communities, he had often met men who felt powerless to help their families after war or natural disasters had taken their toll. How many times had he watched those same once-proud men and women learn to rebuild their lives by accepting help they would rather not have to receive? This was his turn to be the one powerless, and allow others to help him rebuild.

  So, with some struggle, and a lot of pushing and pulling from Skyla, he finally sat astride the quad, and they made their way back down across the lower slopes. He followed Skyla’s directions, impressed that she was getting her bearings when it came to navigating her way around Bear Bluff.

  “My Sergeant Major would have been proud of you. One of the things he hammered into all of us when we landed in unknown territory was how important it was not to get lost. You seek your landmarks, triangulate them, and you will always know where you are.”

  “I go by the Bluff,” she answered. “Everything is north or south of it, then it’s a matter of adding in how far west. We need to turn right up ahead.”

  The sign up ahead read Bear Bluff Construction, and he guided the ATV into the yard. He remembered it from years ago; then it had been disused, falling to pieces, now it held stores of timber, neatly piled and waiting for use. The scene brought back memories, and he wondered if he would actually be able to go through with working for Dylan.

  “Shall I go and see if Dylan’s around?” Skyla asked.

  “Of course.” He had no choice but to stay on the ATV, frustration mounting that he couldn’t get up and walk around like everyone else. Jordan closed his eyes and took a deep, steadying breath before letting it go. He was alive, and all these small inconveniences were nothing compared to what the families of his friends must be going through. He was here, he was alive; he would always be grateful for that.

  “Sleeping on the job?” Dylan’s voice called from across the yard. He was coming out of a building, which Jordan presumed was the office. In its past life, it must have been a barn, stone-built and robust. It was good that the whole place was getting renovated and cleaned up.

  New beginnings, he thought. He’d fit in well here, if Dylan really wanted Jordan to work for him, and he hadn’t just been nice.

  “It’s been a hard day,” Jordan said, glancing at Skyla and wondering if she had spoken to Dylan about him, either now or when she came earlier to fetch the ATV.

  “What can I do for you?” Dylan looked at Jordan and then to the car. “Do you need me to carry you to the car?”

  “No,” he snapped.

  Dylan held his hands up. “I was just checking.”

  “We can manage getting to the car, I can reverse back so Jordan can slip in. It’s my fault; I never thought it through. I should have dropped Jordan back home first. But…” She glanced at Jordan, encouraging him with a small smile.

  �
�I came to see if the offer of the job still stood. If it was a legitimate offer,” he added.

  “Legitimate?” Dylan nodded. “Of course it was. I’m here to make money, I’m not a charity.”

  “Then I’d like the job.” Jordan pointed to the neat piles of timber. “Although you seem to have it all together.”

  Dylan huffed. “You should see inside the warehouses. We need everything cataloged and placed in some kind of order. I’ll take on someone to help you. I need this yard run with military precision. Which is why you would be ideal. I heard of what you did when you were in the Army. You have the knowledge and experience to make this work.”

  “When do you want me to start?” Jordan asked.

  “Eager, I like that.” Dylan rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Give me a week. I’ll ask around, find someone who needs the work.” He nodded his head thoughtfully. “Look, you know my past. So I have a favor to ask.”

  “You want me to do you a favor?” Jordan asked.

  “Yes. It’s just…” Dylan turned and looked at the mountain, and then around the forests; he looked thoughtful, not the same Dylan that Jordan had known when they were growing up. “I want to give someone a chance.”

  “Isn’t that what you are doing with me?” Jordan asked.

  “No, I know you are fit for the job.” He turned his attention back on Jordan, his hands on his hips. “I went to juvie, you know that.”

  “Yes.”

  “When I got out, my grandpa told me I would be better off getting a job away from here. I did. I got lucky and someone gave me a chance. I worked hard, and look at me.”

  “Nothing like a bragger,” Jordan joked, waiting for Dylan to get to his point.

  “I want to give someone else that same chance. I’ll speak to Declan, see if he knows of anyone who needs a second chance.”

  “I didn’t know you were so soft-hearted.”

  “I’m not where business is concerned, but this is close to my heart.” Dylan held out his hand. “Do we have a deal?”

  “Let me get this right. You want me, a cripple, to work with a young offender?” He kept his face blank, watching Dylan frown, and then nodded.