The Cottage at Hope Cove

by Hannah Ellis

  She also resented that, as the baby of the family, Josie was always handed everything on a plate, while Elizabeth had to work for what she wanted. When she churned it all over in her mind, it seemed so petty. She vowed she would try harder with Josie.

  It wasn’t until they were in the car that Josie asked where they were going.

  “You can have a little nap if you want,” Elizabeth told her, avoiding the question.

  Josie was suspicious. “I feel like I’m being kidnapped. How far are we going exactly?”

  “It’s a little bit of a drive,” Elizabeth admitted. “But we’ll stop for breakfast on the way.”

  “I thought breakfast was the destination…”

  Elizabeth’s features wrinkled in uncertainty. “How long is it since we did anything fun together?”

  Josie shook her head. “Fine. Kidnap me. Just wake me up when it’s time for breakfast.” She closed her eyes, clearly too hungover to cope with Elizabeth being sentimental.

  Apart from a quick stop for breakfast, Josie slept for the whole drive. Elizabeth sang along to the radio and felt more content than she had since her holiday.

  They arrived in Hope Cove early in the afternoon. It was three weeks since she’d been there with Max, and she wasn’t sure why she’d suddenly felt the need to go back. But once she’d had the idea, she couldn’t stop thinking about it. She parked the car by the seawall and got out, taking a lungful of sea air. Automatically, she reached for the clip holding her hair neatly in place. Her hair fell around her shoulders and she shook it out in the breeze.

  “Where are we?” Josie asked, squinting.

  Elizabeth’s gaze didn’t shift from the sea. “Hope Cove.”

  “Okay,” Josie said slowly, shaking her head in confusion. “What are we doing here?”

  “I thought a day at the coast might be fun,” Elizabeth said, beaming.

  She felt different. Like she’d inhaled happiness. It was something she hadn’t felt for a while. She caught Josie taking in the view. When Josie turned to her, they grinned at each other before breaking into spontaneous laughter.

  “Let’s go for a walk,” Elizabeth said after they’d calmed down. She set off up the hill and then took the coastal path.

  “How do you know your way around here?” Josie asked, falling into step beside her sister. The fresh air seemed to be curing her hangover, and the spring was back in her step as they made their way along the path at a good pace.

  “This is where I came on holiday,” Elizabeth said wistfully. “You know, when Phil had to work and I went alone.”

  “It’s a long drive for a day trip,” Josie remarked. “What’s so special about it? ”

  “You’re not allowed to ask questions all day,” Elizabeth replied. “You’ll ruin it.”

  Josie nodded and they continued in silence.

  When they reached the door in the hedge at Seaside Cottage, Elizabeth only gave it a cursory glance. She wanted so badly to push it open and wander up the garden. She longed to find Max sitting on the patio, sipping coffee and smiling at the sight of her.

  Instead, she veered off the path and down to the beach.

  “Where are you going?” Josie asked, hurrying to keep up.

  “Let’s go and sit on the rocks,” Elizabeth said, happily leading the way in long strides.

  She clambered up the rocks, and found a good spot to sit and gaze out at the sea. Grey clouds rolled overhead, threatening rain. Elizabeth wasn’t the slightest bit worried about the weather. Nothing could ruin her mood. It was exhilarating sitting on the rocks with the waves beating nearby. Occasionally, the sea would pound the rocks so fiercely that spray would shoot up and land on Elizabeth in a fine mist.

  “This place is amazing,” Josie said, finally catching up and taking a seat on the smoothest rock she could find. “It’s gorgeous.”

  “I love it here,” Elizabeth said.

  Josie picked idly at a limpet that would never budge from the rock it had claimed as home. “I know I’m not supposed to ask questions,” she said. “But what’s going on with you?”

  Elizabeth contemplated acting as though she had no idea what Josie was talking about, but she didn’t have the energy to pretend.

  “I feel like I don’t know who I am any more,” she said slowly. “I keep thinking I want to stop everything – just draw a line under my life and try something new. I have everything I always thought I wanted, but I’m not happy. So I’m not sure what to do. I’ve tried ignoring it … but that approach doesn’t seem to be working.”

  “Wow,” Josie said. “I wasn’t expecting that.”

  “Sorry,” Elizabeth said. “Do you think I’m crazy?”

  “No. It’s probably the most sensible thing I’ve ever heard you say. If you’re not happy, then you need to change something. Life’s too short to be unhappy.”

  “I keep thinking that if I keep going in to work every day, if I keep living my life, it will get better. And maybe it’s easier to carry on the way things are and be miserable than it is to try to change things. Who’s to say I’d be any happier?”

  Josie shook her head. “What would you do,” she asked, “if you could have anything? What would be your ideal life?”

  Elizabeth appeared to contemplate the question, but she knew the answer immediately. It surrounded her. From their vantage point, the first floor of Seaside Cottage was visible over the hedge. She could see the top half of the upstairs windows with their bright white frames.

  What if it was her house?

  What if it was hers and Max’s?

  She went back to watching the waves hit the rocks. “What if what I want is impossible?”

  “Nothing has ever been impossible for you,” Josie said. “Whatever you want, you always get it. It’s bloody annoying, to be honest! But if you set your mind on something, things usually work out.”

  “Not this time,” Elizabeth said, struck by a sudden wave of reality. Max had gone back to his life – he probably hadn’t given her a second thought. She’d let her feelings for him affect her too deeply.

  “It’s not like you to be so defeatist,” Josie said, standing when Elizabeth did.

  “I’m just being realistic,” she said. “What I want is completely unrealistic. I’ll make some changes, but I need to be realistic too.”

  When she jumped from the rocks back onto the sand, for a moment her heart stopped. A man walked along the path further up, and she was convinced it was Max. As he came into focus, she laughed at herself. “I really think I’m going crazy,” she said, marching up the beach. If it had been Max, what would she have said to him?

  She paused on the path and dithered for a moment.

  “What are you doing?” Josie said in a stage whisper as Elizabeth opened the door in the hedge.

  She checked the coast was clear and then slipped into the garden. “Come on,” she said to Josie.

  They ran along the garden like a couple of giggling schoolgirls.

  “What are we doing?” Josie demanded as they hid beside the kitchen window with their backs to the house. “This is trespassing, you know?”

  “It’s not the first time!” Elizabeth peeked in the window and when she saw no sign of anyone, she leaned onto the glass, cupping her hands to peer inside. There was no one there. No signs of life.

  She tried to open the back door, only to find it locked. Down the side of the house she caught sight of a For Sale sign in the front garden. Tears filled her eyes and she rattled the door again, as if it might magically open. Sadly, she rested her forehead on the windowpane.

  “Liz,” Josie said softly, “what’s going on?”

  “Nothing,” she replied, but the tears wouldn’t stop. He should be there. In her head it was the only place that Max existed. When she thought of him he was always there in the cottage, and he should be there now. She wanted to tell him that she’d been an idiot to go back to Phil. That they should have stayed in touch. That she should have given up everything for him.<
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  “I’m worried about you,” Josie said, gently patting her arm. They’d never been affectionate and she was clearly unsure how a hug would go down.

  “I’m fine,” Elizabeth said, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. “I’m an idiot. But I’m going to be okay.”

  Her mind tortured her on the walk back to the village, teasing her with the thought that Max could be just around the corner. Back in Hope Cove she kept imagining he was there too. It was both an exhilarating thought and a slow torture.

  She knew Josie would love Hope Cove Gallery, and watched as she flitted about the shop exuberantly.

  “It’s all beautiful,” Josie said to the woman on the counter. “There’s literally nothing here I don’t love.”

  “I knew it would be right up your street,” Elizabeth said.

  “Oh! I want this,” Josie said excitedly, stopping in front of a display.

  “Really?” Elizabeth asked, dropping her voice to a whisper. “It’s some sea glass on a piece of string…”

  “It’s gorgeous,” Josie said, unhooking it from the wall. “I’ll hang it in the window. It’ll look stunning when the light catches it.”

  When they stepped back into the street, the sun had come out. Elizabeth squinted and wished she’d brought sunglasses. “How can you afford to buy sea glass when you can’t afford to pay rent?”

  “I do a bit of freelance work now and again,” Josie said as they wandered slowly back down the quiet street, past the brightly coloured cottages. “Just online typing jobs and stuff. Gives me a bit of pocket money.”

  “Shouldn’t you use that for rent?”

  “If I used it for rent I’d have no money for food or nights out… or sea glass!”

  Elizabeth had a lot more to say on the subject but didn’t want to spoil their day out so bit her tongue.

  “Why didn’t you buy anything?” Josie asked.

  “I bought a painting last time I was here.”

  Josie beamed. “What’s it like?”

  “I can show you later. It’s in my car.”

  “Your car? Why on earth is it in your car?”

  “I just keep forgetting to take it out,” Elizabeth said. That wasn’t actually true. The painting taunted her constantly. At first she’d convinced herself that she was waiting until she’d decided where to hang it, but there was much more to it than that. Every time she looked at the picture she was transported back to Hope Cove and her week with Max. She wasn’t sure she could face that every day in her house. Then there was Phil. She didn’t want to share her beloved painting with him. She didn’t want his opinion on it; didn’t want him looking at it. It was completely irrational but that was how she felt.

  A voice called out. It was Verity, the owner of the café. She was standing outside the café in her familiar apron, waving madly. “A batch of scones have just come out of the oven!”

  “It’s as if you knew I was coming,” Elizabeth said. She crossed the street and introduced Verity to Josie.

  “How long are you here for this time?” Verity asked.

  “Just a day trip, unfortunately.”

  “You got lucky with the weather,” Verity said, glancing up. The grey clouds had passed right over. “Here, take a seat in the sunshine. What can I get for you?”

  “A pot of tea and a couple of scones will do nicely, I think.”

  “Coming up!”

  “The view is fantastic,” Josie said. They were sitting at the same table Elizabeth had sat at on her first morning in Hope Cove, with a perfect view of the bay.

  Verity appeared with their order five minutes later.

  “I saw Seaside Cottage is up for sale,” Elizabeth remarked casually.

  “Just went on the market a few days ago.” Verity nudged Elizabeth’s shoulder. “That’s right, you helped with the redecorating, didn’t you?”

  Elizabeth ignored Josie’s puzzled expression. “Yes. A little bit.”

  “You must have done a good job,” Verity said jovially. “They’ve whacked a good price tag on the place…” She glanced around, before leaning in to whisper the asking price as though she was giving up a state secret. It actually sounded quite reasonable to Elizabeth. “It’ll be snapped up regardless, I’m sure.”

  “Probably,” Elizabeth agreed. “Have the owners been around much?” She spread jam on her scone and hoped she sounded as casual as she intended.

  “Gosh, no, I don’t know when last I saw Charlotte. She always was an oddity anyway. Pleasant enough but not a particularly warm woman, if you know what I mean. Now her husband, on the other hand, he was a character. Lovely man.”

  Elizabeth nodded and smiled. “You’re not in touch with Charlotte, then?”

  “Oh, no. I know her to say hello to, but that’s about it. I’ve only seen her a handful of times since they stopped using the cottage themselves and started renting it out.” Verity greeted a couple of customers and scuttled away to take their order.

  Elizabeth had no idea why she’d asked if Verity was in touch with Charlotte. What was she expecting? That she could pass on a note for Max?

  “Are you sure you were just here for a week?” Josie said, breaking her thoughts. “You sound more like a local, gossiping away!”

  “I wasn’t gossiping,” Elizabeth insisted.

  “What was all that about redecorating?”

  “I just helped out with a bit of painting, that’s all.”

  “At the cottage we were at before? What’s so special about the place?”

  Elizabeth bit her lip. “You’re not allowed to ask questions, remember? Just eat your scone,” she ordered, smiling. “They taste divine.”

  Josie did as she was told. When they’d finished their tea and scones, they bid Verity farewell and returned to the car. Josie insisted on seeing the beautiful watercolour hidden in the boot of the car, and while she fawned over it, Elizabeth went to take one last look at the view in real life. Her emotions were such a mess. Overall, she’d enjoyed revisiting Hope Cove but it was hard too, as she’d expected. The place was full of bittersweet memories and the promise of a life she could never have.

  “Let’s go home,” Elizabeth said.

  She’d tortured herself enough in Hope Cove. Now it was time to get back to Phil, and deal with the torture that her life had become.

  Chapter 32

  When she finally arrived home, Phil’s smile was as fake as the ones she’d been giving him over the past month. How had they got to this? She knew he was suspicious of her. When he’d called Josie earlier that day, it hadn’t been because he couldn’t reach Elizabeth, as he’d said. He was checking up, obviously not believing that she really was with Josie.

  Elizabeth was angry with him constantly, but she also felt sorry for him. None of this was his fault, after all. He was the collateral damage in the mess she’d made.

  “Did you have a good time?” he asked with fake cheer.

  Her forced smile matched his perfectly. She had arms full of shopping bags and he took a couple and followed her into the kitchen.

  “It was surprisingly nice to spend some time with Josie,” Elizabeth said. “I realised I don’t make enough effort with my family so I invited them over for lunch tomorrow: Mum and Dad and Josie. I called at the supermarket, thought I’d cook a roast.”

  “Lovely,” Phil said, but his confusion was evident. To be fair, her recent foray into the world of cooking was completely out of character. She’d never been interested in cooking, or in entertaining at home. She’d been more inclined towards restaurants and being waited on.

  To her, a relaxing evening always meant going to a restaurant or wine bar. She’d never truly felt relaxed at home. Glancing around her immaculate house, she felt annoyed by the lack of anything sentimental. Josie’s apartment was littered with all kinds of knick-knacks, and the place had Josie written all over it.

  If your home was a reflection of yourself, what did that say about her? she wondered. That she was cold, sterile, generic? The only thin
g she had of any sentimental value was locked in the boot of her car.

  “So what did you get up to with Josie?” Phil asked, interrupting her thoughts. He perched on a bar stool, looking stiff and tense. She pretended not to hear the accusatory tone in his voice.

  “Watched TV and drank wine yesterday and then went for a drive today.” She wondered how vague she could get away with being. Her brow furrowed as she continued, and she made a conscious effort to try to distract him from asking questions about exactly where they’d been. “We had a lot of fun, actually. It was great to spend time with her without arguing for a change.”

  Phil drummed his fingers annoyingly on the kitchen counter. “Why was she suddenly so desperate to see you? And without giving you any warning. She can be very selfish sometimes.”

  Elizabeth tensed. She paused in unpacking the shopping and glanced at Phil. It was an effort not to defend Josie, but she was determined to avoid arguing with Phil. Once she started, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to stop. There was so much brewing inside her: things she wanted to say to him, but knew she shouldn’t. He hadn’t done anything wrong. It was all her.

  She placed the chicken in the fridge, her movements calm and controlled. “She was panicking about the hen weekend,” Elizabeth said, the lie falling easily from her tongue.

  “Surely she’s not organising it? I’m surprised you’d even want a hen night.”

  “It might be fun,” Elizabeth said. And who else did he think would organise her hen night? She wasn’t exactly swarming with friends these days. It was another thing that had started to bother her. Her social life was non-existent. Especially since she and Karen had stopped going out for drinks in favour of drinking wine at the office. She used to have friends – what had happened to them? She had a couple of school friends she was still in touch with and saw occasionally: Jen and Becky. But when she thought about it, she couldn’t actually remember the last time she’d spoken to either of them. They both had kids and when they had begun to insist they met at each other’s house instead of at coffee shops and bars, their friendship had fizzled out. She remembered leaving Jen’s place once with snot on her shoulder and squashed banana on her sleeve and vowing never to go there again. What a great friend she was!