Breath We Take (Cuffed By Love Duet Book 1)

by Amanda Kaitlyn

  That wasn’t me, though. I was going to live every second like it was my last because in my line of work, that was a very real possibility.

  I turned the corner towards the nurses desk where I’d last seen her and a chuckle fell from my lips.

  This girl.

  “Oh, is that for me?” Her sweet voice asked and she turned from where she stood next to the tall and large glass windows across the room. I stalked toward her, my boots eating up the small distance between us. The moment I reached her, I slid one hand behind her head and pulled her in for a quick kiss.

  “I know you need your caffeine, Darlin'. Drink up.” A big smile lit up her face then and my damn chest warmed at the sight.

  How the fuck did she effect me this way?

  “Thank you.” Her eyes lifted to the windows behind her again and that smile somehow brightened as she looked at the array of stars across the night sky. I swept my arms around her waist and she leaned into me almost instantly. My chin pressed to the top of her head and my arms held her close as we stood there. As always, I felt the quiet hum of electricity between us and I forced a breath from my mouth in an attempt to calm my craving for her. As the minutes past, her body begun to press deeper against mine and one of her small hands covered the fingers of one of mine. Moving my hand on her waist up to the slope of her neck, I pushed her long, golden blonde hair away from the side of her face and placed my lips to her neck in a reaffirming kiss.

  “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” She whispers and I smiled against her hair.

  Yeah. She was fucking gorgeous.

  But I was pretty sure she wasn’t talking about my view.

  I knew from the many long nights we spent together at the hospital that she loved looking at the night sky. She believed if she looked at just the right one and made a wish, it would come true.

  Emberly saw the world through the brightest glasses and the hope she had for the future made me want to make it happen.

  The world could be a scary place but with me by her side, I vowed that she would never have to know that.

  Because I would go to the ends of the fucking earth to protect her. As she looked up at me with those wide, lavender eyes, my heart stopped.

  I was so done for.

  Inching closer to her, my hands slid over her cheeks and as I ran my thumb over the rose blush there, my chest tightened and my damn heart kicked into over drive again. I lowered my mouth to hers, softly brushing my lips over hers in hopes of calming the need I had for her with a kiss.

  “Hudson,” She moans my name. The sweet, raspy sound of her voice stirring my cock to life between us and causing me to kiss down her neck, knowing that her scent would help ease my ache for her.

  Her vanilla scent wafted from her lips as she whispered my name again and it alleviated my need for her only slightly.

  This girl would drive me crazy if I let her.

  I placed my mouth over her earlobe as I descended back up her neck and felt rather than heard her gasp of surprise.

  I trapped the skin between my teeth and gave a slight tug, causing her to whisper my name again. Her head rocked against my shoulder and her body leaned even closer to mine as I continued my assault over her heated skin.

  “I would rather look at you than the night sky.”

  I curled my arm around her stomach, holding her to me and I felt the moment she realized what was pressing against her through my pants.

  A shuttered sigh left her as I laced one hand with hers against her hip while the other trailed up to her shoulder.

  “Then why aren’t you looking at me?”

  I chuckled against her hair, the sweet scent of her shampoo enveloped me.

  Feeling her body lock up against mine, I move back a step, taking her hand in mine. When she turned to face me, I could see a darkness in her eyes.

  Fuck!

  Reaching forward, I cupped her face in my hands and looked down at her big, beautiful eyes.

  “I don’t need to be looking at you to see your beauty. It emanates from inside of you. Your goodness shines through like a fucking sun.”

  A smile bursts across her face as she nods and shifts nervously.

  My instincts kicked in then and I knew without a doubt that something was bothering her. My arms crossed over my chest and I caged her in to the window, making sure she knew there was no escaping my question.

  A better man wouldn’t have done that.

  A good man would be patient with her.

  Would wait for her to tell him her secrets.

  But I’m not a good man.

  I’m rough around the edges.

  I’m trying to be better, though.

  And it was all for her.

  “Tell me, baby.”

  Looking up from her feet with a slight shrug of her shoulders, she retreats from me.

  “I have to finish these reports before the end of my shift.”

  Groaning internally, I nodded.

  The sooner I could get her out of here and safely at home, the better off we would be. But I would be getting it out of her. One way, or another.

  Following her across the lobby, I watched her slip behind the nurses desk and move the folders of papers around the desk, busying herself so she didn’t have to look at me.

  I leaned as close to her as I could and caught one of her hands in mine before she had the chance to move away.

  “You gonna make me kiss it out of that pretty mouth of yours, Emberly? Cus' you know I will.”

  I watched the deep blush rise in her cheeks and I grinned at her.

  I had an effect on her, too.

  My thumb brushed over her palm and I felt the moment she calmed under my touch. I could see that she was hiding something from me, something that was weighing on her and I just wanted her to tell me so I could ease whatever worries inhabited her mind.

  “What is it?”

  Her eyes moved to mine and she nodded, putting the stack of files in front of her away and getting her purse from the bottom drawer of the desk before she took my hand.

  “It’s nothing, Hud. I promise.”

  I brushed my hand over her chin and leaned my head against hers as we waited for the elevator, not for one second believing that it was nothing. She would tell me when she was ready.

  Turning her face into the crook of my neck, she deflected my question with a confession I hadn’t been expecting.

  “You look at me like no one else ever has before. You look at me like I’m-“

  “Beautiful?” I interrupted her, shaking my head in disbelief at the words that fell from her full lips. Who had hurt this girl so badly that she didn’t see how goddamn beautiful she was?

  I didn’t call her mine lightly. From the moment I saw her eating her lunch just outside of this hospital, I was hooked on her.

  Hooked on her beauty. Hooked on her innocence.

  I was just fucking hooked for her.

  If I had to tell her every minute we spent together how gorgeous and perfect she was to me, I’d do it.

  Because she was.

  Her eyes snapped to mine at the word and a slow, shy smile spread over her face. As I pressed my mouth to the top of her head, I felt her melt into the touch.

  “I really want to believe it when you say it.”

  As I led her into the elevator car and held her close, I whispered in her ear.

  “I’ll keep saying it until you do, Darlin'.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Emberly

  “Stay in the car, Darlin’. I just want to check something.” I heard his voice as the car engine turned off and I opened my eyes, blinking the sleep from them. On the way home I must have dozed off and Hudson had let me sleep the whole way home.

  “Is everything okay?” I murmured, worried at the obvious concern in his steely, blue eyes. He nodded his head and rubbed a slow, soothing hand over my back, telling me it would be okay. But, I wasn’t so sure.

  “Okay.” He kissed my cheek before letting himself out
of the drivers side of his car and watching him wander into my garage, I gasped aloud when I saw what had him so worried. He’d turned on the overhead light on his way inside and it shone over my car, my beautiful little Mustang splattered with thick lines of red ink, but could have easily been blood, too. It was vandalized with words that left me shaking and suddenly afraid, as if at any moment the culprate would jump out at me. I took a few deep breaths, telling myself it was just some teenager playing a prank on me but my gut told me an opposite story.

  It had been him. The man that stalked not only my best friend, Ashlee but me, too for the past month. If he had somehow gotten into my home and hacked the security code that locked my garage door, he could break in at any moment.

  Even when I’m alone…

  “Oh my god…” The cry left me on a sudden sob and fumbling with the door handle, I fled from the car as a need for air settled inside of my quaking chest. I had to get out of there. I had to breathe. And locked up in that hot car was suffocating me.

  As I broke into a sprint in the opposite way of my house, I had one, repeating thought.

  Run.

  ***

  “Emberly! Fuck!” His deep and rough, angered voice trailed not very far behind me and biting at my lower lip in hopes of stemming the tears that continued to wet my cheeks, I ran faster.

  Stupid!

  God. I’d been so stupid to think that I could escape my past and find a man like Hudson; good, gentle, rough, sinful… If it was even possible to be a complete and utter contradiction, he was. He was all of those things and more. And when I was with him, I wanted it. I wanted all of him and more, more, more. But if seeing the letter from my father hadn’t done a number on my resolve to move on from the dark, dark place my past had been, the message painted across my car did.

  The letter… the texts… the vandalizing of my car…

  They were all puzzle pieces that succeeded in tearing apart my belief that good things could last for me and even though Hudson was still here, he wouldn’t want me after I told him my past, my secrets, my shame…

  Even thinking about it created dreadful chills to skate down my neck and spine, reminding me of the danger that still touched my seemingly safe life. I’d left everything behind back home, not willing to take even an ounce of my past with me when I left for nursing school and later, my placement at the hospital. It wasn’t much, but it was my life. It was a life where I was happy, content. I didn’t have to look over my shoulder every second of the day, I didn’t have to live in fear.

  At least, that was what I thought.

  Now? I was terrified, all over again.

  “Hey, hey, it’s okay, Darlin’. I’m here and I promise you, nothing will touch you as long as that’s true.” His voice was like liquid fire and the softest cotton, all at once. Hard with a determination he couldn’t hide, even if he tried and laced with affection that I instantly wanted more of. Warm breath bathed the side of my neck while my fisted hands rested against his wide, hard chest, intent on pushing him away before it was too late for either of us. I didn’t get to have this. My past wasn’t going to let me go and he deserved so much more than the pieces I had left to give him.

  Clenching my urgent fingers into the fine material of his shirt, I had to shake my head a few times before I was able to speak, unsure if my voice would hold.

  “I don’t- we can’t do this anymore, Hud. We just can’t.” The words rushed out of me, the meaning behind them causing my chest to heave with anxiety and my heart to beat a frantic, hurried beat. The frown that marred his otherwise expression less face told me he didn’t agree and with a shaky exhale, I did what I should have done in the beginning. I pushed him away.

  “I’m sorry but I don’t think you should protect me anymore.” He rocked his head back and I watched his hair fall in front of his eyes as he shook his head at me, his frustration darkening his normally pale blue irises. I shook with the gravity of what I was doing, knowing it was one of those moments I would look back on and regret and also knowing that I couldn’t change my mind.

  This was for the best. If I let myself feel the crazy way he made me feel, I’d hurt him. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But I would. Loving me would wreck him and the mere pieces I had of my heart wouldn’t be enough to do his justice. I knew someday he would find a girl that could be what he needed. I just wasn’t her. I couldn’t be, right?

  “I don’t fucking protect you because of some detail, Em. I do it because I love you.” He gritted out in a rough, aggravated whisper and silence met his declaration because in that moment, I found it hard to breathe; never mind speak coherently. He’d stolen my breath straight from my lungs. Was that even remotely possible? With him, I had a feeling it was.

  It couldn’t be true. He was my body guard. My protector. My lover…

  As that revelation settled in my gut another one stopped my heartbeat, all together.

  I loved him, too.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Hudson

  She was as quiet as a mouse as she stood in front of me, her wet hair matted to her forehead from the downpour of rain that started not long after she ran out on me, never looking back until I’d forced her to face me as I’d chased her.

  Never chased a woman in my fucking life but when she disappeared on me, there wasn’t a second thought in my mind. She was all that mattered. I’d run to the ends of the world for her, if I had to. I was reminded of how my parents always told me that falling in love was the easiest part of a relationship. It was making that love last that was the true struggle and if you truly cared for and respected her, she’d never have a reason to leave.

  I wasn’t completely sure that was true, with Emberly. She was stubborn and jaded and so beautiful it sometimes physically hurt me to look at her. Her beauty shone brighter when she looked at me, with such love I was overwhelmed.

  Did she know she looked at me that way?

  Had she ever truly felt love in her life?

  I doubted it and if that were true, it really didn’t matter to me. I was here now and I didn’t care how long I had to wait, I would make her see that a love like ours was possible. All she had to do was realize it.

  “You can’t, Hudson.” Shaking her head, she tried once more to push me away, her dainty, little hands pressing against my chest as if she’d be able to budge me. Smiling wide, I dropped my head to rest against hers and claimed her mouth with mine in a hot, searing kiss I knew she’d feel down to her damn bones; one I hoped would get through that thick wall she kept around her big, beautiful heart. And when she moaned softly into my mouth and slid her fingers through my hair with a slight tug for more, I knew I had her.

  Right. Fucking. Here.

  “I don’t know how to do this, Hud. I’ve never…” Her sweet voice trailed off as I slid my tongue down the pale column of her neck, earning another distracted moan from her lush lips. God, I loved those lips.

  “Doesn’t matter, baby. What matters is this…” Linking our hands together in a tight, seemingly unbreakable clinch, I raised them to my mouth where I kissed her fingertips and pressed our joined hands over my chest, where I knew she could feel my racing heart beat. I was finally getting all of her and I was a starved man, soaking up every ounce of my girl before she disappeared again.

  “Us, Em. All that matters is us. Yeah?” Quickly nodding, she reached up and cupped my cheek in one of her small hands. She met my eyes with wide, understanding ones and that look of love? It shone in spades.

  “I forgot something.” She whispered, slowly rubbing her thumb over the hard line of my jaw as she spoke. Frowning, I arched an eyebrow at her and her warm, deep laugh met my ears before she caved and told me.

  “I love you so much, Hudson. No matter what happens tomorrow, I’ll love you.”

  Bliss. Grinning against her lips, I kissed her fucking breathless.

  ***

  I laid Emberly on the bed as soon as I stepped inside her bedroom. Then I moved to the wall beside the d
oor, flipped on the light, kicked the door shut at the same time. It had been a long month of watching her from afar.

  Looking at her.

  Watching her. Imagining all the ways I would take her.

  Was this the moment I would take her?

  Fuck, I hoped so.

  “We don’t have to do anything, Darlin'. I need you to know that. If all you want to do is sit here and watch some sappy ass movie that’s what we’ll do. But I gotta tell you,” I paused to take a breath, then lowered to brush my mouth to her forehead, leaving it there as I finished what I was telling her.

  I felt her hands come up to my sides, expecting her to push me back and away from her. To tell me I was wrong, that we were moving too fast, that she needed more time.

  But she didn’t do any of that. She dug her fingers into my shirt and slowly lifted it up.

  “I. Fucking. Want. You.” I growled the words into her ear and she melted against me, whispering my name, making me want her even more.

  Not a minute later, my T-shirt fell to the floor and so did my leathers.

  “Body, heart, soul- every fucking inch of you. Em, I just want you.”

  Her all too expressive eyes met mine then and she smiled shyly, nodding her head.

  When her mouth pressed to my neck and her hands pressed to my chest, fingernails grazing over hot, over-heated skin, I groaned loudly.

  Shit. I needed her naked. Now. I needed to take her and make her mine. Mine.

  “Lay back.”

  She nodded and slowly pressed her head into the pink covered pillow.

  Lust and fevered hunger raced through my veins as I moved to the end of the bed and begun unlacing her black converse sneakers. I felt her eyes watching me and I looked up, piercing her with what I hoped was a hungry look.

  I was teetering between maddening lust and uncontrollable need for this damn girl and I hoped to God I’d have the capacity to be gentle with her tonight.

  Her sneakers were slipped off her feet and I took my time drawing her lace stockings from them, too. I knelt between her parted legs and reached for the hem of her long, flowy skirt making sure to keep my eyes on her for any sign of uncertainty in those vibrant eyes of hers.