Moving On

by Millie Gray

  ‘Who’s Miss Doig?’

  ‘She’s a teacher at Hermitage Park School. She stays round the corner in Clark Road and every morning, Dotty, she collects Rosebud and takes her to school and every afternoon she delivers her back.’

  ‘Why doesn’t Rosebud go to the local school?’

  ‘She will be when the new school year starts in August,’ Connie replied, continually nodding her head in confirmation, ‘but you see, Dotty, when we first came here Kate’s lassie, Aliza . . . well the wee soul just wasn’t ready to be without Rosebud.’

  ‘And she’s doing okay now?’

  ‘Oh aye, she’s fairly come on.’ Connie leaned in to take Dotty into her confidence. ‘Last week she called Kate . . . Mummy!’

  Kitty smiled because that happening had pleased her too. With delight she remembered how Kate was so over the moon that she had felt it necessary to tell her five times within two hours.

  ‘Look, Connie,’ Kitty began, ‘we are back on duty in a couple hours so when are you going to get around to giving us some tea and toast?’

  It wasn’t just the ringing of the doorbell that startled Kate it was also the quick, loud rapping. ‘Amos, see who that is,’ she commanded as she began to clear the tea table.

  As was his custom now, Hans took nothing to do with clearing up the supper dishes and he was starting to go through to the lounge when he heard Amos speaking to someone and then the door close.

  Hans just humphed thinking that Amos had dismissed some door-to-door salesman but when Amos arrived back in the hall he was not alone. Not only was he not alone but he was obviously visibly upset. ‘Papa Hans,’ he stammered, ‘this young gentleman says he must speak with you.’

  By now Kate had joined the three in the hall and as she looked at the young man she experienced a feeling of panic overcoming her and instinctively she fell back against the wall for support.

  The appearance of the young man also caused the normally composed Hans to turn ashen, and as he extended his right hand, the stranger said, ‘I am . . .’

  ‘I know who you are,’ Hans replied before the young man could finish his sentence. ‘You see, your arrival is not unexpected. I have known from the start that you or someone like you turning up was more than a possibility. Now I think we should all go through to the lounge and sit down.’

  The young man proceeded into the lounge first because Hans had hung back to assist Kate. ‘It’s all right, dear,’ he whispered as he took her hand. ‘Just you sit and listen whilst I speak with . . .’ It was then that Hans became aware that Amos was still in the hall and very quietly Hans said to him, ‘Say nothing just now. In fact come into the lounge whilst we find out exactly why young Mister Sisken has come.’

  Once they were seated, Hans and Mister Sisken in the armchairs and Kate and Amos on the settee, Hans raised his hands to indicate to Mister Sisken that he should advise him of the reason for his visit.

  ‘Firstly,’ Mister Sisken began slowly, ‘I apologise for coming so late in the day. But the last address that I was given for you was Parkvale Place. Unfortunately I had to wait until the new owners returned from work so that I could ask them if they knew where you were now residing. They were happy to advise me that you had bought this house.’

  Hans, Kate and Amos all nodded. The selling of Parkvale and their purchase of this end-terraced six-apartment villa in East Restalrig Terrace had been done in March last year. Hans, to relieve his stress, smiled to himself when he remembered how Kate had teased him by saying, ‘Now before I start house hunting am I right in thinking that we are looking for a house that not only has a lounge large enough to house a piano, a separate dining room, located in the catchment area of Hermitage Park School for the convenience of Aliza, but most importantly, it has to be within walking distance of your shop?’

  Drawing the long uneasy silence that had descended on the room to a close Hans linked his hands together before looking directly at the handsome young man and saying, ‘You are aware that I know who you are, Mister Sisken. The family resemblance is quite remarkable.’

  ‘You are correct and my name is David Sisken. My parents had five children. Only two survived . . . myself, the eldest of the family, and Benjamin, the youngest.’

  ‘You are sure all the others are . . .’

  ‘Yes, I have meticulously checked the records. The Germans are very good at administration and everyone who passed through their hands and what became of them was recorded.’

  ‘Is it not true some records were destroyed?’ Kate asked.

  ‘Yes. But the ones that concerned my family were not.’

  ‘So?’

  ‘Well Mister Busek,’ David looked about the room and when his eyes rested on Amos he seemed puzzled. ‘I am here to take on the responsibility for my younger brother, Benjamin.’ Pointing at Amos he said, ‘But I do not recognise him.’

  ‘That is because he is not your brother. David, may I introduce you to your brother’s friend, Amos Kramer.’ Amos got up and went over to David and shook his hand.

  ‘I should explain that Ben – we call Benjamin what he wishes to be known as and that is Ben – is over in the Links playing tennis with some friends.’ Hans had now got up and, placing a fatherly arm around Amos, he continued, ‘Amos here prefers to play the piano.’ David nodded. ‘Now, Amos, would you just run down to the Links and ask Ben to come home?’

  After Amos had left Hans said, ‘Now, David, what are your intentions where Ben is concerned?’

  ‘He is all that remains of my family and I intend, as I am duty bound, to look after him.’

  ‘Does that mean that you intend to remove him from our guardianship?’

  ‘Yes. And I do not have to point out to you that I have every right to do so.’

  ‘Does Ben have no say in this?’

  ‘Mr Busek, when you agreed to foster Benjamin it was on the understanding that should any family relative turn up then that relative had the right to remove Benjamin from your care.’ David paused and seemed to ponder before adding, ‘You and I are of the same faith so you know how important it is for families to be together.’

  Defeated, Hans nodded.

  Kate, unlike Hans, was not hampered by any religious obligations and she quietly, yet firmly, asked, ‘And when did you last see Ben?’

  ‘It was in 1941,’ David answered quickly. ‘That was when our family required to go into hiding. Good people sheltered us. Unfortunately in the four years that followed we were all betrayed.’

  The emphasis that David put on the word ‘betrayed’ and his now heavy and laboured breathing made Kate realise that David was also a much damaged young man. She also realised that David and so many of the survivors like him would fight to their last breath to ensure that nothing like the Holocaust would ever happen to the Jewish people again.

  ‘It has taken me from my release in 1945 until today to find Benjamin, my only surviving sibling.’ David stopped. His head shook from side to side before he added emphatically, ‘And now I have found him he and I will go to Israel and meet up with others. Then we will band together and build up a new and strong Jewish state.’

  ‘That may be your wish, David, but you have a problem.’

  ‘In what way, Mister Busek?’

  ‘Amos, whom you met, and Ben will not be happy to be parted,’ Kate answered for Hans. ‘You see Amos, in Ben’s eyes, has become his brother. Indeed if it was not for Amos befriending Ben in the concentration camp then he would not have survived.’ David shook his head. ‘Believe me, I do not know how the two of them survived all that happened. I also do not know, and I am amazed, that they managed to crawl their way out . . . but crawl they did . . . Amos hauling Ben every inch of the way. They shared everything . . . even the misery . . . the cruelty . . . the inhumanity and the few crumbs that were thrown to them. You will be wondering Mister Sisken how I know all this?’ Kate stopped to look at Hans before she could continue. ‘I know all that worries Ben, even something that he could not confide
to Amos. You see I have lost count of the times when in the stillness of the night I have held Ben in my arms when he was plagued by nightmares of all that has happened to him.’ Kate sighed. ‘At first the nightmares came every night, forcing him to relive the terrifying things he had seen, had endured. Thankfully, as he began to heal, their frequency lessened . . . so much so that they are only occasional now. But make no mistake about it, Mister Sisken, whatever happened to Ben in the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp Amos saw him through it and always when he relives the horrors he has seen and endured he calls out for Amos.’

  Before Kate could continue she heard the outside door open and just at that Aliza burst into the room and chanted, ‘Mummy, I think it is time for you to hear my reading.’ She then turned to address everyone in the room. ‘I am a good reader now,’ she said with a chuckle, ‘and I can count and write my name.’

  Kate nodded to Aliza but her eyes were fixed firmly on Ben, who had just entered the room. On seeing David a weeping Ben collapsed down on to the floor.

  David’s reaction was to rush over to Ben. ‘It’s okay. You are not dreaming.’ David was now wiping the tears from Ben’s eyes. ‘But I am sorry to tell you, Benjamin, that we, you and I, are the only members of our family to survive.’

  Kate now began to steer Aliza out of the room and just as she was about to pass over the threshold she turned. ‘Hans, Amos,’ she began as her eyes were drawn to Ben, ‘I think that it is only right that Ben and David are left alone with each other.’

  Two agonising hours passed before Ben opened the door and asked Kate, Amos and Hans to join him and his brother.

  It was obvious that Ben had been crying and when David started to speak Ben hung his head. ‘Mr and Mrs Busek, firstly I wish to say how grateful I am for the care you have taken of Benjamin.’ Hans was about to interrupt David but he put up his hand to indicate that he had more to say and he then blundered on with, ‘My thanks are especially for you Mrs Busek because you are not of our faith but from what Ben has told me you are obviously a good person . . . possibly I think a practising Christian.’

  Kate was incensed and no one could stop her from saying, ‘David Sisken, I did not take on your brother because I am a Christian. And let’s get it straight from the start, you are not the only one in this room who had to endure losing your whole family. My husband did. Oh yes, his wife and children were all killed and when he saw the plight of the children who had survived he wished to help them, heal them. So we agreed to foster one of the Jewish refugees. But when we decided to take Amos he came as a package with Ben. Since their arrival in our home, religion has had nothing to do with how we treat them. Before I am a Christian I am foremost a human being who looked at three children . . . three very damaged children and we, that is my husband and I, decided there and then that we had to help them. Mother them. Love them. Nurse them back to some sort of normality.’

  David was obviously taken aback by Kate’s direct manner and as soon as she stopped speaking he said, ‘Please accept my apology. I did not mean to offend you. But I belong to a group who intend to go to Israel and help build up that country. Benjamin will be leaving your care and he will go with us and he also wishes that Amos would join us.’

  Flopping back against the wall Kate cried, ‘Oh no, I have grown to love these boys. Please leave them here with us at least until they finish their education. Your brother is very bright. He will go on to university.’ Panic was now rising up in her chest and choking her. She just could not accept that she would lose Amos and Ben – especially Ben who was her special boy, her miracle boy, the boy who had trusted her with his secrets. Stuttering, she added, ‘They have a privileged education at George Heriot’s. Education is so important, especially to Ben.’ She wished she could say to David Sisken that Ben, who because of the German programme where Jewish males were sterilised, might be like herself and never hold his own child in his arms. But she couldn’t because Ben had told only her his shameful, as he saw it, secret about the dreadful surgical procedures that were carried out on him.

  Hans had now moved over to comfort Kate and very quietly he said, ‘David, I know we should avenge what was inflicted on us. But I worry that in doing so we may destroy ourselves . . . lose our humanity. Also I know Israel will have to be fought for . . . here the boys live in peace. They are not fully recovered enough, in my opinion, to be taken from our loving care.’

  David nodded. ‘Mr Busek, I accept that you are entitled to your point of view, however I have already stated what has been agreed concerning Benjamin. I will call tomorrow to collect the boys. All that requires to be done now is that we arrange a time . . . let’s say about ten tomorrow morning.’

  On their arrival back at the hospital to start their late shift Kitty and Dotty drew up abruptly when the duty porter called out, ‘Nurse Anderson, a telegram and a letter have arrived for you.’

  Frowning, Kitty turned to Dotty. ‘Hope it’s not bad news.’

  Several seconds ticked by and Kitty just kept staring at the yellow envelope. ‘Look Kitty, the only way you will find out what the gram says is to open it,’ Dotty quipped. ‘Here, if you haven’t the courage give it over to me.’

  Shaking her head Kitty tore open the envelope. As she read the contents her frown disappeared and was slowly replaced by a smug smile. ‘Oh Dotty, it is from my darling boy. Look,’ she cried passing the telegram over to Dotty.

  Immediately Dotty began to read aloud from it. ‘Congratulations. And top of the class at that. Did you get the important letter I sent you last week? It has instructions in it.’ Dotty hesitated. ‘Instructions! What kind of instructions?’

  ‘It will just be about my travelling to Canada.’

  ‘Oh, that will be what’s in the letter.’

  Kitty looked at the Canadian postmark and she grinned from ear to ear. ‘But here,’ she said glancing up at the clock, ‘look at the time. The letter will have to keep until I come off duty tonight.’

  Friday night shifts were always busy in Leith Hospital especially in Accident and Emergency where Kitty and Dotty were on duty.

  By the end of the shift Kitty was completely drained of all energy. She had only one desire and that was to flop down on her bed and drift off to sleep. Slipping her hand underneath her apron she felt for her precious letter that every so often during her shift she had covertly stroked. Now in the privacy of her room her first desire was to open the letter and start reading it. Then she thought, No, I must have a bath. So she went along to the bathroom and filled the bath with warm water, which she then scented with a whole Radox bath cube. Whilst she lay in the comforting suds her mind relaxed and she became consumed by sunny thoughts of her impending wedding day. After half an hour she reluctantly got out of the bath and towel dried herself before liberally dusting her body with Yardley’s talcum powder. She had done this because even although her Dougal would not actually be with her when she read his letter he would be in her mind. Donning her flannelette pyjamas she chuckled. They were so different from the black silk negligee that she had splashed out on – the gorgeous creation that she would wear on her wedding night.

  Once she had snuggled up in bed with her head supported by two pillows she opened the letter.

  By the time she reached over to switch off her bedside table lamp she had read, and read, and reread the letter over and over again. It was just so important to her to digest every word so that she was sure that she understood exactly what he wished her to do.

  Kitty awoke early in the morning. She didn’t feel quite rested but she knew that further sleep would evade her. This being so, and because she was not on duty until early afternoon, she decided to go and visit her Aunt Kate. Dear, dependable Aunt Kate who throughout all of her life had always been there to listen to her – to advise her – to pick her up when she had been kicked down. This all being true she was anxious to get to Kate as soon as possible so after hurriedly dressing, she quickly left the hospital.

  She had just emerged into
Great Junction Street when she became aware that the bus was arriving at the stop so she quickly jumped aboard. After alighting from the bus in Lochend Road she checked her watch and noted that it was now nearly ten thirty so she began to sprint towards her aunt’s house. Whilst she was running she tried to shift her thoughts from Dougal’s written suggestions. As she neared her aunt’s house, that was situated in East Restalrig Terrace, she was thinking how wise her Aunt Kate and Uncle Hans had been to follow her dad and Connie’s example and purchase a bigger house. A house that was about the same size as her father and Connie’s and afforded them more living space. Both houses, although larger, were in no way ostentatious. Oh no, the houses were homes – homes that were always clean and fresh but in no way sanitised – homes in which you never felt you should take your shoes off at the door. It was also gratifying for Kitty to acknowledge that Amos, Ben and Aliza had been fortunate enough to have been fostered by Aunt Kate and Uncle Hans. Yes, she agreed as she opened the gate to her aunt’s path, these poor abused children now lived in a comfortable home where they were valued and loved.

  Aware that Hans would have left to attend to his shop around eight thirty and that being so her aunt would be alone with the children, Kate opened the unlocked front door and as she bounded into the house she cried, ‘Just me, Aunty Kate.’ However, when she advanced into the bright, airy kitchen she became concerned because her aunt looked so tired and washed out.

  ‘You feeling all right?’

  ‘It’s nothing, Kitty,’ a melancholy Kate replied. ‘I didn’t sleep well last night. But what brings you here today? I wasn’t expecting you until Monday.’

  Kitty pulled out a dining chair and she sat herself down opposite Kate. Without saying a word, Kitty fished Dougal’s letter from her handbag and she slipped it over the table towards Kate.

  Immediately, Kate took the letter from its envelope and, like Kitty, when she first read it she appeared to become dumbfounded. Also, like Kitty, she read it another three times before she spat, ‘Is he all there?’