“But you don’t know where you came from, or how you got here.”
She shook her head. “Ben didn’t know I was a shifter,” she said. “I knew I was, I knew I could turn into a wolf, and I knew somehow that it wouldn’t be good for him to know that. I was terrified he’d find out, in fact,” she said. “So I hid it.”
She thought back, to memories she hadn’t allowed herself in years. “He was good to me, in his own way,” she said. “He nursed me back to health. He said I was a skinny little thing, but he liked me fine,” she added. “He didn’t—I mean, he didn’t force me to have sex with him or anything. At first, he just took care of me. I helped with the work, and the garden. I cooked. I could remember how to do all that—I just couldn’t remember where I’d learned to do it. And when he found out I liked to read, he bought me books. And drawing materials, and paints. He wanted me to be happy,” she said. “But he’d never take me into town unless I was dressed as a boy. He didn’t trust anyone to know I was here.”
Rafe frowned. “Didn’t you want to go and look for your people?” he asked. “Find out who you were?”
Terin tried to think how to explain it. “I couldn’t remember what had happened to me, but I remembered—fear,” she said slowly. “Danger. It was just a feeling, but it was so strong. I felt like I had to stay hidden.”
Rafe nodded slowly. “So you were okay with hiding up here?”
She nodded. “Over time,” she said, “the two of us—well, a man and a woman alone together. We started into a relationship.”
Rafe was stroking her hand with his thumb. “Did you love him?” he asked softly.
She was silent for a long moment. “I cared about him,” she said finally. “I wasn’t in love with him. I don’t know if he was in love with me. But he was good to me, until…”
Rafe’s hand grew still. “Until what?”
She shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about that,” she said. “He just kept getting more and more paranoid, until I was afraid of him.”
They sat there for a long time in silence, Rafe holding her hand. Somehow, though, like before, the silence grew comfortable. Calming.
Then, without warning, a shot sounded in the woods. Far away, but they both started.
Terin looked at him. “It’s probably just a poacher, hunting illegally,” she said. “It happens all the time. Or someone shooting at a fox going after their hens.”
Rafe’s jaw clenched. “You didn’t see those guys today,” he said. “They were looking for you. They had dogs. If they pick up your trail and it leads here…”
“I can take care of myself,” Terin said. “You don’t have to worry about me.”
Rafe shook his head. “But I will worry,” he said. “This isn’t random danger. They’re targeting you. Why don’t you just come back to Silverlake for a few days? Until I can find out who they are and what they’re doing here?”
Terin tightened her lips. The thought of leaving here, of being trapped in a place with all those people, touching each other and invading each other’s privacy, made the panic rise in her chest.
“I can’t,” she said. “I have my garden. And my painting. I need that. I can’t just go somewhere where I don’t know anyone. Where there are all those people.”
Rafe shifted on the seat so he could face her. “Then let me stay here.”
She moved instinctively away from him. It was so tempting—to just throw herself into his arms and let him take care of everything.
But she couldn’t do that. She couldn’t give up everything she had and everything she was. She felt crowded, suddenly. Breathless. She was so attracted to him. But this was all happening to soon. Too fast.
“I can’t,” she said. “You don’t understand. I just—it makes me feel—” She gave up in frustration. “I can’t.” She heard the panic in her own voice, and felt ridiculous.
Rafe’s lips compressed. She could tell he was beating down his own urge to insist, to persuade her, to try to convince her. She felt her wolf clawing to the surface, wanting to run, to get away from this person who wanted things from her that she didn’t know how to give him.
Who said he cared about her, but didn’t know who she was or what she had done.
Rafe was silent for a minute. “Okay,” he said quietly. “But can I come back and check up on you? Tomorrow?”
“I can take care of myself,” she repeated stubbornly. “Ben made sure of that.”
He sighed. “I’m sure you can,” he said. “But I’m still not happy about you being alone here. And since I’m unable to control my emotions—everyone says so—would you just humor my irrationality and let me come and see you?”
She hesitated, torn.
“You could make me lunch again,” he said. “I’d let you do that.”
Like he was doing her a favor. “Oh you would,” she said. “Gosh, thanks. I suppose you’ll let me do the dishes afterward, too.”
“Sure,” he said. “You don’t think badasses like me do dishes, do you? At least, not without the right incentives.”
“I bet,” she said.
“So can I come?” His dark eyes were pleading.
She sighed. He was so damn irresistible. “Okay,” she said. “If it makes you feel better.”
He kissed her forehead. “Thanks,” he said.
He left soon afterwards. She could tell by the way he slid his hand slowly from hers, until only their fingertips were touching, that he didn’t want to go. But he’d said his pack would be worried about him, not having heard from him for so long.
She wondered what that was like, to have so many people wanting you to come home to them.
He stripped down and packed up his clothes, then shifted to wolf form and ducked his head through the strap of his saddlebags, letting them settle over his shoulders. She watched him leave from the front porch, and he paused at the edge of the forest, looking back at her.
She could feel how much he wanted to stay. Part of her wanted to call him back, to wrap herself in his arms and let him handle everything.
But she couldn’t do that. She had to be strong. She had to take care of herself.
All the same, once he was out of sight, she shifted and ghosted after him, following his scent, wanting one last glimpse of him. She didn’t know if he knew she was behind him. But when he reached the border of Silverlake territory, he stopped.
In the distance, she saw him turn and look back in her direction. He stood there for a long moment, and then turned and headed back to his own territory.
She doubted that he would come back. Once he was with his people, he’d feel different about her.
That thought made her feel lonelier than she’d felt in a long time.
Chapter 9
Rafe got a better homecoming than he’d expected.
Jace came bounding out of his cabin as soon as he heard Rafe arrive. He thumped Rafe on the back and pulled him into a bear hug, despite the fact that he was naked.
“Hey, man,” he said. “Emma was worried sick about you. Where have you been? Why didn’t you call?” He stood back and looked into Rafe’s face, frowning. “You look like shit, man.”
Rafe clapped him on the shoulder. “My buddy. Always making a guy feel like a million bucks.”
Jace grinned, but it soon faded. “Really. You okay? Where’s your bike? How come you’re traveling four-legged?”
Jesse burst out of the cabin they shared, letting the screen door slam. “Is that Rafe?” he called. “Where the hell you been, deadbeat? I’m gonna kick your ass for making us worry like that.”
Half the pack gathered around, everyone wanting to talk to Rafe, to touch him, to make sure he was okay. The feeling warmed him. He hadn’t really thought they’d miss him so much. Of course, he was Second. But still…
“There’s something going on,” Rafe said to Jace, when he’d finished greeting everyone and exchanging friendly insults with the guys. “I need a meeting. You, Jesse, and I guess Kane and Israel
better be in it too.” He paused. “And Emma, of course.”
“Emma better be included,” she said, coming out of the cabin and giving him a big hug. “You jerk, you should have called!”
“Phone’s dead,” he said briefly. “And I ran into some trouble.”
He looked meaningfully at Jace, who nodded.
“Somebody find Kane,” he said to the people still milling around. “And Israel. Tell them to come to my cabin.”
Everyone began to wander back to what they’d been doing, and Jace led the way into the cabin. Rafe dug the pants Terin had given him out of his bag and put them on, and shrugged into the work shirt without bothering to button it.
Emma had given him one considering look and then gone into the kitchen and started putting a plate of food together. “Are you sure you’re all right?” she asked, handing him a sandwich.
Rafe nodded. “I crashed my bike and got busted up pretty bad,” he said around mouthfuls of bread and meatloaf. He couldn’t believe he was hungry again. Healing took a lot of fuel.
“God, Emma, this is great.” He added, “It took me all this time to heal. I’ll tell you the story when everyone gets here.”
Jace nodded, and waited for the others. Rafe continued to chow down until they got there, building up his strength. After a few minutes Kane walked in, huge and stone-faced as usual. His shadow Israel trailed silently behind him—also as usual. Israel uttered like maybe three words a week. Both of them irritated Rafe. They were good fighters, good at security, but nobody could ever tell what the hell they were really thinking. Except they obviously thought that nobody besides the two of them was worth talking to.
When everyone was settled around the dining table, Jace passed around beers and Rafe started his story.
He told them the whole thing, from the bar fight to the crash, to Terin’s rescue and meeting the hunters, and then finding Terin’s cabin.
Jace’s face grew more and more concerned as he took in the information about Terin and the hunters. “They were looking for this woman specifically?” he said. “But they weren’t ordinary hunters?”
Rafe shook his head. “They said they were hunting a wolf, but the way they tracked her, the way they entered the cave—it was like a military unit on an operation, where they expected the person they were tracking might have a weapon. They weren’t approaching it at all like a hunt for an animal.”
“So they probably knew she was a shifter,” Jesse said. Everybody looked edgy at that. Heavily armed hunters who knew about shifters could be very bad news. “Were any of them shifters?”
“No,” Rafe said. “All completely human. Which is what bothers me the most. Who were they? How did they know about Terin, and why were they after her?”
“And how did they know she was in this particular area?” Kane added. “They didn’t track her straight to the cave from somewhere else—you said you’d been there a couple of days when they showed up.”
Rafe nodded. “They said that the guys who chased me were telling everyone they’d seen a ghost wolf.”
There were snorts and eye rolls at that.
“So the hunters have been canvassing the area, picking up rumors,” said Kane. “But what brought them here in the first place? Who knows about shifters and would have sent them here?”
Jace and Emma exchanged a glance. “Not Alexander Grant, I hope,” Jace said.
Rafe hoped not too. Grant was Emma’s psycho ex. She’d been on the run from him when she and Jace met, with some evidence that could hopefully bring down his criminal empire. The FBI was working on it, but as of now the evil empire was still standing. And Grant was pretty pissed off at the Silverlake pack. Especially at Jace, who’d clawed up Grant’s pretty-boy face when the douchebag had tried to kill Emma.
“Do you think?” Emma was saying. “But why would he go after this Terin? He can’t use her against us—we didn’t even know she existed.”
Jace shook his head. “I don’t know which idea I like less,” he said. “That Alexander Grant is targeting shifters, or that someone in addition to Grant knows about us and is targeting shifters.”
Yeah, Rafe thought. Either possibility sucks.
Israel murmured something to Kane, who nodded. “It’s possible that it’s someone from Terin’s past,” Kane pointed out. “She may have been running from someone when she ended up in these mountains in the first place. Did she ever try to find out who her people were, or where she was from?”
Rafe shrugged. “Not that I know of,” he said.
“So there could be any kind of trouble following her,” Kane said, glancing pointedly at Emma. She raised her eyebrows at him. Kane hadn’t been happy about Emma mating with Jace, and, as the pack’s Enforcer and head of security, he really hadn’t been happy about having to defend the pack from her evil ex and his security forces.
Jace said, “Kane, go back down to that bar Rafe was drinking at and see if you can track down the hunting party, or the guys who told them about the white wolf. Find out everything you can about how and when those hunters showed up, and where they might be from.”
Kane gave a curt nod, glaring at Rafe like all this was his fault.
Rafe ignored him. Turning to Jace, he said, “I’m trying to convince Terin to come here. She’s not safe at that cabin on her own. They could track her there, if their dogs are good enough. I did it.”
Jace said slowly, “I suppose she could come here, if she wants to.”
Emma gave Jace a ‘what’s wrong with you’ look. “Of course she can. She must be really scared, all by herself, with no pack. You should have brought her back with you.”
Rafe sighed. “Do you think I didn’t try?” he asked. “She wouldn’t come. She’s terrified of people. She’s been alone there so long, and I think something bad happened to her when her husband died.”
Kane muttered, “Oh, great. A trauma queen.”
Rafe continued to ignore him. It was really the only way of dealing with Kane, except for smacking the shit out of him, which he preferred not to try and do in his half-healed condition.
“If she won’t come here, I’m going to have to go back there and at least see if she’ll let me stay with her,” he said. He turned to Jace. “Can I have some troops to help me out, in case those guys show up again?”
Kane frowned. “Wait a minute,” he said. “It’s bad enough taking her in, if this militia group is after her. Did you all learn nothing from the Alexander Grant disaster?”
Emma gave him a slitty-eyed glare this time, which Kane ignored.
He went on, “I can’t stop you from bringing her here, and of course my people will defend the perimeter of our territory regardless of the source of the threat. But as head of security for this pack, I have to say that it’s fucking stupid to jeopardize our territory by pulling our defense team and sending them into a probable military action to protect a non-pack member who doesn’t even want to be protected.”
Rafe’s wolf felt like it was going to burst out of his chest and rip Kane’s throat out. What the hell was the matter with that guy? Terin had to be protected, at all costs.
He growled, deep in his chest. “Don’t you get it?” he snarled, rising out of his chair. “She’s scared of people. She’s been traumatized—maybe more than once. But we have to protect her. If anything happens to her—” He moved in on Kane, who also rose to his feet. Both of them were growling now.
“Jace?” Emma said faintly. “What’s going on?”
It was Israel the silent who finally spoke. “Oh, fuck,” he muttered to Kane. “She’s his mate.”
Everyone stared at Rafe. Kane raised his eyes to the ceiling, shaking his head in despair.
“Is she?” asked Jace.
“I—she—we haven’t—we just met—” Rafe stammered to a halt. Oh, shit. Was that what this feeling was? Somehow he’d thought that finding a true mate was supposed to feel better than this.
Jesse clapped Rafe on the shoulder. “Judging by the look on
your face, I think she is,” he said. “But I’m guessing she doesn’t know it yet.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Kane said. “Another ‘fated mate’? When are you people going to get rid of these antiquated notions about magic and true love?”
He put his hands on his hips and stared at Rafe. “Look at you,” he said. “You’re a mess, over a woman you’ve known for two days and who’s an emotional train wreck, to hear you tell it. We’re a small, new pack, and we need to move forward making rational, strategic mating and trade decisions that bring us beneficial alliances. We need to start thinking, to use our heads instead of basing all our decisions on overblown emotions. Remember what happened with our old pack?”
He looked around the room. “Am I the only one who remembers that we were decimated because certain people couldn’t manage to keep their fucking pants on?”
Jace pushed back his chair and rose slowly to his feet. “That’s my family you’re talking about,” he said in a low, deadly voice. “Watch yourself.”
Kane refused to back down. He snarled, “We need to build a strong pack, not a camp for fugitives and refugees. How the hell am I supposed to do my job if I have to trail around behind a string of guys who can’t think with anything but their dicks?”
That was it. Rafe lunged at Kane, growling. Jesse grabbed him, hauling him back. Kane snarled again.
Jace slammed his hand on the table. “That’s enough!” His voice thundered through the room, backed by his alpha energy. Rafe shook Jesse’s grip off him, panting. Kane had frozen in place, but his chest was still out, his stance aggressive.
Jace said dangerously, “Are you challenging me, Kane?”
Jesse chimed in quietly, “Okay, now, this is fun and everything, but let’s not tear Emma and Jace’s kitchen apart rolling around in a fight like cubs.”
Jace and Kane were still staring at each other, eyes burning gold. Emma was staying very quiet, which Rafe thought was a good plan for someone who couldn’t turn into a wolf if things got crazy.
White Wolf Mate (Silverlake Shifters Book 2) Page 5
