Rafe moved to stand shoulder to shoulder with Jace, and Israel had risen and come up behind Kane’s left shoulder.
Jesse shook his head. “Boys, boys, boys,” he said. “Talk about not thinking before you act. How’s a Mexican standoff going to solve anything?”
“It’s not going to be a standoff much longer,” Rafe said, his wolf panting to get out. “I’m planning on beating the shit out of Kane.”
Jesse said, “Because that will make him more willing to protect your mate?”
Kane probably wouldn’t protect Terin anyway, unless Jace ordered him to. But Jesse was right; he definitely wouldn’t if Rafe beat the shit out of him. He let out a huge breath.
Jace and Kane had been ignoring him in any case, staring each other down. Figured. Again, Rafe was not needed.
Jace and Kane stared at each other a moment longer, and then they both sat back down. You couldn’t say they relaxed, exactly, but the Defcon threat alert went down a level.
“So let’s consider Rafe’s request,” Jesse went on, as if they had all been sitting there comfortably sipping beer the whole time.
As usually happened when Jesse took control of a tense situation, Rafe found his anger being defused, his wolf retreating and his brain engaging. He could see it happening to everyone else, too. Nobody knew how Jesse did it. It was his superpower.
“Okay,” Jesse said. He put on his negotiator persona, which he used when dealing with other packs. “Kane is correct, in that deploying an unknown number of troops outside our territory for an unknown period of time, for a threat that involves serious firearms, is probably not the best plan.”
“Fucking stupid,” Kane muttered again.
Jesse didn’t even look at him, just proceeded in outlining the situation. Since smacking the shit out of people seemed to be off the table for the moment, Jesse had apparently concluded that ignoring Kane was the only option left.
Jesse went on, “Were we to extend an official offer of sanctuary, the wolf in question—Terin, you said her name was?”
Rafe nodded briefly.
“Okay. Terin could choose to come here.”
Rafe opened his mouth, and Jesse held up his hand. “Yeah, I get it, bro. She doesn’t want to. But she’s a grown woman, and unfortunately you can’t decide for her what she wants to do. If she wants to take her chances in her cabin, there’s not much you can do unless you decide to kidnap her.”
Israel was watching Rafe’s face. “Oh, geez, he’s thinking about it,” he mumbled.
Rafe didn’t say anything. He was busy trying to figure out if that would work, and if Terin would ever forgive him if he tried.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Kane said. “I’m done here.”
He pushed back his chair and stood up, turning to Jace, his whole demeanor stiff and formal to the point of mockery. “With your permission, alpha, I’ll go take care of my original mission, which is to determine the nature and imminence of the potential threat.”
Kane glanced at Rafe, and then said, “I’m also going to do a background check on this Terin Whitney and find out where she comes from, and who might be after her. Even though no one had the sense to ask me to.”
He turned and stalked out, Israel following.
There was a brief silence.
“Well,” Emma said. “That went well.”
Rafe put his head in his hands. “Shit. This is such a mess.” He didn’t know what to do. His wolf was all for the ‘kidnap Terin’ idea, but that was clearly a bad idea. Probably.
Jace said, “If you are accepting that this woman is your mate, then she’s your responsibility until and unless she agrees to join the pack. She’s welcome to our protection if she wants to come here, but if she insists on staying alone…”
“Women,” Rafe muttered. “Why are women so damned stubborn? Is it an X-chromosome thing?”
Emma snorted. “Yeah, like people with Y-chromosomes are immune to stubbornness. Not.”
Jesse said to Rafe, “Maybe Jace and Emma could go talk to Terin with you. Officially extend the pack’s invitation of sanctuary.” He turned to Jace. “She might feel more comfortable if she actually met you. And you can also assess how likely she is to bond with the pack, and whether—ah—she’s likely to fit in.”
“Meaning, is she a nutcase,” Rafe said. “That was really not as subtle as you thought it was, Jess.”
He hadn’t even considered that the pack might not want Terin. That couldn’t happen. They couldn’t reject her. He didn’t know how, but he knew that would break her forever.
“Sorry,” Jesse said.
“What’s she like, Rafe?” Emma asked.
He tried to think how to explain Terin. “She’s beautiful,” he said, knowing how inadequate that was. “Strong and fragile at the same time. And she’s an amazing artist. Her paintings…” he trailed off, unable to put the power of her paintings into words. “I don’t know everything she’s been through,” he said, “but she’s not crazy. She’s survived all on her own, and she’s brave and funny and…” He choked up and couldn’t continue.
Jesse said, “We’re with you, bro. If there’s anything I can do…”
Rafe thumped him on the shoulder. Then he turned to his alpha. “Jace, I can’t just let her get killed because of fear and stubbornness. I have to protect her, even if I have to do it on my own.”
“I know,” Jace said quietly.
Rafe shook his head, frustrated. “No you don’t. When you and Emma needed help, you had the whole pack behind you. All of us, ready to come to your rescue—to do anything you wanted or needed.”
“This isn’t the same—” Jace started.
Rafe said, “No. It’s not. Because it’s me, not you. Everyone here would do anything for you, but I’m just Rafe the fuckup. Nobody’s coming to my rescue. Or my mate’s. I have to do it myself.”
He shoved back his chair, which tipped over and crashed to the floor. Without even stopping to pick it up, he stomped out in Kane’s wake.
After his dramatic exit, Rafe was full of restless energy that he didn’t know what to do with. This was when he usually picked a fight with someone, or went out and did something crazy on his bike. But he didn’t have his bike and he was too beat-up for a fight. And he couldn’t afford to do that stuff now, anyway, not with Terin in danger.
He didn’t want to talk to anyone in this state, so there was nowhere to go but his cabin. He couldn’t help but feel how ironic it was that he couldn’t seek comfort with Terin. He was going through all this, driving himself crazy and alienating his pack leaders, for a woman who probably didn’t even want him.
He walked through Jesse’s neat and tidy side of the cabin, into his own messy disaster of a room. The cleaning fairy hadn’t made a surprise visit since he’d left, and so he just upended his saddlebags and dumped everything on the floor with the rest of his crap.
He flung himself on the bed—which was really just a mattress on the floor—and stared moodily at the ceiling. He was struck by the contrast between his place and Terin’s cozy cabin, which reflected her personality so clearly. He didn’t want to think about what his living space said about him.
His sharp hearing picked up voices outside. Jesse and Jace. “Kane’s just getting worse,” Jesse was saying. “More ambitious, and less willing to consider the feelings and needs of individual pack members. If we’re not careful, he’ll have us all making strategic mating contracts, just to gather more territory and influence. Which we don’t even want.”
“I know,” Jace said with a sigh. “What he really needs is a mate of his own.”
Rafe could almost hear Jesse rolling his eyes. “I can’t even imagine who’d put up with Sir Stick-Up-His-Ass,” he said. “Whoever that poor hapless wolf girl was, we’d have to stop the mating just out of mercy to her.”
Jace said, “He has the best interests of the pack at heart.”
Rafe heard Jesse snort. He and Kane had never gotten along—not since they were cubs.
>
Footsteps came into the cabin. From the sound, Rafe knew it was Jace, not Jesse. Rafe stayed where he was, flopped on the bed.
Jace came in and leaned against the doorframe. “Forgot to pay the cleaning lady again, I see.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Rafe said, but without animosity.
“Look,” Jace said. “I know how you feel. When I first met Emma, I had no idea how to convince her to be my mate. How much I needed her,” he added.
Rafe didn’t say anything. Jace didn’t get it. No one did.
“But the thing is, if she’s your true mate, she needs you, too,” Jace said. “Trust her. She’ll figure it out.”
“If she doesn’t get killed first,” Rafe said. “Without me there to protect her.”
Jace came and dropped down on the side of the mattress. “I know it’s hard,” he said. “Like your whole world suddenly tilted on its axis. Everything changes overnight, and you’re left with your heart torn wide open, vulnerable to someone who’s not on the same timeline you’re on.”
Nailed it. Unfortunately, happy-ever-after Jace perfectly describing the pain in Rafe’s heart wasn’t especially comforting.
“I need to do something, or I’ll fucking explode,” Rafe said. “How the hell am I, of all people, supposed to bond with a woman who needs an unending supply of patience? I have the patience of a gnat.”
Jace grinned. “You’ll figure it out.”
Rafe shook his head. “Who are you trying to kid? Hell, who am I trying to kid? I’m going to suck at this. Even if she doesn’t get herself killed, I can’t make her happy.”
“I think the same thing every day,” Jace said.
Rafe rolled over and looked at him. “You’re nuts,” he said. “Emma adores you.”
His alpha shook his head, looking bemused. “Yeah. And every day I’m afraid she’s going to find out how much I suck and stop,” he said. “But all I can do is keep trying. Keep loving her. Keep saying I’m sorry if I fuck up. And keep reminding myself that somehow, for some reason, she does need me.”
“That doesn’t actually sound that fun,” Rafe said grumpily.
“It’s awesome,” Jace said, a sappy look coming over his face. “You’ll see.”
Rafe grunted.
Jace thumped him companionably on the chest. “Why don’t we do what Jesse suggested?” Jace said. “I’d like to meet Terin. Emma and I can come with you, talk to her. I can get an idea of how she would respond to the pack bond.”
“And if she doesn’t?” Rafe said. “Respond to the pack bond, I mean.”
“I don’t know,” Jace said. “But one thing at a time, okay? Just let us meet her.”
Rafe considered, biting his lips. It wasn’t like he had much of a choice.
“Okay,” he said. “But I don’t want to blindside her. I’ll go over first, tomorrow morning, and see if I can persuade her to at least meet with you. Once I sound her out, I’ll call you and let you know.”
Jace said, “That sounds fair.” He paused, then said, “Rafe, bro, I’m behind you on this. But I also have the whole pack to think of. I have to protect them.”
Rafe looked away. “I can’t do this alone, Jace. You’ve got to help me.”
Jace sighed. “We’ll do everything we can to make sure she’s safe. I give you my word.”
Chapter 10
The next day, Terin decided that she had to save herself.
She’d stayed up all night, trying to read, with a rifle next to her chair. She’d told herself that she was being vigilant, not scared. A few times she nodded off, only to have a small sound jerk her awake, heart pounding.
The men with the guns didn’t come. Neither did Rafe.
She reminded herself she hadn’t expected him to come back last night. He’d said he’d come today. Besides, he was still healing, and he’d been away from his pack—his family—for two days. They probably wanted to spend time with him. And he had to find his crashed motorcycle and try to save it.
But deep inside, she believed he probably wouldn’t come back at all.
And if Rafe wasn’t coming back, then she would have to defend herself. She knew how. Ben had been convinced that government agents were going to show up at any moment to try to take him away.
So he’d taken precautions to make sure they didn’t.
He’d set up traps around the perimeter of the property. Concealed pits, some with sharpened stakes in the bottoms. Trip wires, net traps—plenty of ways to keep people out, or to neutralize them once they were in.
These were things she hadn’t explained to Rafe. She hadn’t had the words to explain. It was the traps that had done Ben in, and Terin hadn’t maintained them since he’d died. She had never believed anyone was after her, once the man Ben brought here was gone. But now that she knew someone was, she silently thanked Ben for his paranoia.
And she prepared her traps.
But she still couldn’t put Rafe out of her mind. She thought about what a luxury it would be, to have someone sweep into your life and take care of everything. But then, what happened if they got tired of taking care of you? What happened if it got to be too much? Or if they got sick, or hurt, or died?
She’d counted on Ben. Ben had promised her he’d always take care of her and protect her. But Ben had changed—and then he’d died. Even though he wanted to keep his promise, he couldn’t.
So why would Rafe be different? Rafe said himself that he was irresponsible, that everyone in the pack called him a fuck-up.
She’d felt how much he cared about her. How much he wanted to help her.
She just didn’t know if she could trust him to keep caring.
She closed her eyes and relived the feeling of his hands on her body—the way he’d kissed her. The passion, the heat. How gentle he’d been with her, how patient, when all the time she could sense how wild he was underneath.
How much he wanted her.
She wanted him too. Her body yearned for him, wanting to wrap itself around him and soak in his scent, his heat. To feel his throbbing cock inside her, stroking her until she cried out and felt her orgasm shatter around her.
But she was the real fuck-up. Beyond that, she was cursed. Dangerous. And he would see that and he would leave her, and then she would be even more broken. So broken she’d never heal.
But she still wanted him.
She went into the house and baked a pie for lunch. Just in case he came back.
And then she went back to setting her traps. Just in case he didn’t.
Chapter 11
Rafe drove his truck up to Terin’s cabin. The door was propped open, and clean laundry was hanging on the clothesline, fluttering in the slight breeze.
He got out of the truck, leaning on the open door, and sniffed the air. He couldn’t get a fix on Terin. This was her place—her scent was everywhere.
“Terin?” he called out. “It’s Rafe. I just wanted to see if you’re okay.”
Silence. A chicken squawked inside its coop, and there was the low buzzing of insects in the grass. The place looked peaceful in the sunlight. Like somewhere you could sprawl out with a beer and just chill. Where you didn’t have to worry about anything but tending the garden and feeding the chickens. Or eating them.
When Terin didn’t appear, Rafe went up to the house and knocked on the open door.
“Terin?”
There was still no answer, and the house felt—empty. Still, he went inside and checked. He was starting to get worried, even though he knew there was no reason. There was no scent of the men and dogs he’d encountered—no scent of anyone who shouldn’t have been here.
But there was no Terin, either.
Despite himself, he peeked into her studio again. She’d done more work on the painting. The dark wolf.
He was sitting on a mountaintop, nose raised to the wind. He looked lonely, and yet the bright colors in the sky seemed full of hope. It took Rafe a minute to realize that another wolf had been added to the scene. Hidden in t
he trees near the bottom was a pale wolf. Watching. And every line of her body spoke with longing.
He stared at it for a long time, wondering what it meant. Hoping it meant she felt something for him. Then he turned away and went back out of the house.
Where was she? Had she gone for a run in the woods? That was crazy. What if she ran into the hunters? He knew he shouldn’t worry so much, but he couldn’t help it.
He walked around the perimeter of the property, where the woods surrounded the sunny clearing. Something was bothering him—small changes in the landscape that his wolf was processing on a subconscious level. He couldn’t have said exactly what they were, but he felt a prickle along the back of his neck, like there was danger nearby.
Then he saw her. She was at the edge of the woods, watching him, just like the wolf in the painting. He couldn’t help but smile when he saw her, and he felt his shoulders relax in relief.
“There you are,” he said. “I couldn’t find you.”
She just looked at him, staying in wolf form. As if she didn’t want to talk to him.
He began to get a little annoyed. “You scared me,” he said. “I was afraid those hunters had met you in the woods and—and taken you.” He couldn’t bring himself to say ‘killed.’ Ever since he’d realized she was his mate, the thought of losing her felt like he’d swallowed ground-up glass.
“You need be more careful,” he went on, hearing himself sounding like an overprotective chauvinistic ass, but somehow unable to stop talking. “Look how open this place is. A million ways to get in. At least stay near the house.”
Her head had gone up as he was talking, and she gave a soft growl.
“Come on, don’t be like that,” Rafe said. “You know I’m right.”
Shut up, shut up! he was telling himself. But his mouth just kept moving. “It’s why we form packs. Why won’t you at least think about coming back to Silverlake with me? You might like it there. And it would be safer than here.”
He was walking forward as he spoke, eyes on her. She backed up, still watching him, her tongue out now. As if she’d stopped being pissed and started laughing at him.
White Wolf Mate (Silverlake Shifters Book 2) Page 6
