Dearest Clementine

by Lex Martin

  His laughter is warm as he reaches across the table and peels my other hand off my face and pulls me around the table, settling me in his lap.

  Our waitress, who has been ogling him all night, walks up and stares at us. Gavin has his arms wrapped around me, and I’m still blushing.

  “Dessert?” she asks.

  He nibbles my neck as goosebumps race down my arms. “Yes, she’s dessert.” My face continues to burn as I playfully smack his arm and slide off his lap.

  Over a couple of slices of cheesecake and coffee, we talk about our classes, my sex-obsessed romance-writing professor, and all the weird things he’s seen as an RA. He seems careful not to ask me anything about my family or Daren, which is a relief. I get the sense that I can tell him when I’m ready, a thought that puts me at ease.

  Actually, everything about our date makes me relax. The way he laughs at me when I’m being a smartass. The way he ignores our beautiful waitress who looks like she wants him for her own main course. The way he holds my hand all night or wraps his arm around me as we walk home.

  So when we reach my building, I’m definitely not ready to say goodnight. He stops in front of the steps and tucks his hands in his pockets. The fact that he’s trying to respect my need to take things slowly makes me want him more.

  I stand on the step above him and pull him to me by wrapping my arms around his neck.

  “Gavin,” I whisper.

  “Clementine.” His breath tickles my ear.

  “I’d like for you to come upstairs with me.” I lean back and look at him, studying his face—his strong jaw, those full lips, his smoldering eyes. Damn, he’s sexy. “I’m not ready for any home runs tonight, but maybe we could go for second or third base?” I keep staring into his eyes as I kiss his lips softly, waiting for him to answer.

  “Have I ever told you how much I fucking love baseball?” He leans down to deepen the kiss as I try not to giggle.

  God bless baseball!

  * * *

  The instant my bedroom door shuts, Gavin’s hands wrap around my waist. He whips me around and presses himself against me, and he feels so good.

  He threads his fingers through my hair, sending sparks through me like a plasma globe.

  “Does this mean you’ll go out with me next weekend? And maybe the weekend after that?” he says in between kisses. “And the one after that?”

  Dear lord. If he keeps talking to me like that, I might not be able to keep this from going too far. Somehow, I have the restraint to push him back, but I keep my hands on his shoulders. He frowns at the lost contact, but there are things I need to ask.

  “Does this mean we’re dating?” I ask hesitantly. Does he think of me as his girlfriend? The thought of that used to terrify me because it means vulnerability and letting someone get close and the threat of getting hurt, but when I think back to Angry Red, it galls me to think of sharing him with anyone.

  He chuckles, pulling me closer. “Baby, I hate to tell you this, but we’ve been dating”—he leans down and kisses my neck—“for a while.”

  It’s difficult to concentrate as his mouth migrates down to my shoulder, and it takes everything in me to stay focused.

  “So you haven’t… you haven’t been going out with anyone else?” His answer scares me, but I need to know.

  “Not since I slept in your bed. On your birthday.” He says it without hesitation, his breath hot against my skin.

  Wow. That wasn’t what I was expecting. It’s better. Grinning, I start to relax against him when he stops caressing me and looks up.

  “Why do you ask?”

  I bite my lip. What do I say to that? I saw you with that bombshell and instantly assumed you guys hooked up? Okay, maybe I don’t say that.

  “I, um, saw you talking to a girl the other day in the student union, and she seemed… comfortable with you.”

  He tilts his head, obviously confused.

  “She had red hair?” I say it like a question to prompt him. I bite my tongue to keep from sharing what I overheard in the convenience store because I really can’t be sure Angry Red was talking about Gavin.

  I don’t mean to bring her up like this, and this is most definitely not the way to kick off a heated makeout session, but I guess we should talk about it if I have hopes of this going anywhere.

  “Angelique? You saw me talking to Angelique?”

  “Beautiful. Tall. Curvy.” Glancing down, even with the push-up bra, I’m immediately disappointed with my B-cup. Jesus, Clementine. Stop being so insecure.

  He angles my chin up with his finger, forcing me to look him in the eye.

  “Darlin’, that’s been over a long time.” He sighs, and I see exasperation and fatigue in his expression instead of longing or regret. “Yeah, she wants to get back together, but I’m not interested.”

  I search his face, looking for any hint of half-truths or ambiguity but find none. I nod, but I’m embarrassed I asked, and I start to look away, but he won’t let me. He holds my face between both hands, gently stroking my skin with the rough pads of his thumbs. “She’s got nothing on you. Trust me.”

  That’s what it comes down to. Trust. Do I trust Gavin not to hurt me? Staring into his endless emerald eyes, I think I do.

  I smile back, the relief in my chest palpable, and I reach up and run my finger over his lips.

  “If we’re going to do this—date, I mean,” I say quickly, realizing how that sounds—“I want to be clear: I don’t share.”

  He laughs, turning and pushing me onto the bed. “Good. That makes two of us.” He slides over me and kisses me hungrily. “Agreed. No sharing,” he says into my mouth.

  As our bodies meld together, my hands roam down his fabulously rock-hard body, along his broad shoulders until they reach those beautifully sculpted abs. Frustrated by the barrier of his clothes, I tug his shirt out from his pants and drag my fingers down his stomach.

  I love his weight on me, and I’m reveling in his absolute perfection when I hear knocking on the front door. When it doesn’t stop, I kiss Gavin once more and groan. “Hold that thought,” I say as I crawl out from under him. After I let in Dani, who had forgotten her keys, I scurry back into my room. Knowing that I can hear Jenna and Ryan screwing from the four corners of this apartment, I walk over to my desk and pop on the makeout mix on my iPod, the one I’ve been using to write all of my hot hookup scenes in my story.

  As Sia’s exotic voice comes through the speakers, I turn back to Gavin and kick off my shoes. He’s sitting on my bed, watching me. Standing in front of him, I put my hands on my hips as I soak him in.

  “I rather like you in my bed,” I admit. He is a fine specimen of a man.

  His eyes are hooded as he reaches out and runs his hand up my leg. When he reaches the edge of my thigh-highs, his eyes widen briefly and his breath catches. “Do I get to see what’s under here?” he asks, his voice deep and seductive.

  “If you’re very good. Or very bad. I haven’t decided which yet.” I marvel at how I’ve become undone and wanton for this man. How I crave his touch.

  He licks his lips and pulls me to him so that I’m straddling his lap. My dress pulls up, and the edges of my tights peek through. His hands immediately go there, his fingers lightly skimming my pale skin.

  “You know you make me crazy, right?” he whispers as he kisses my neck. His words make my heart thunder in my chest, and I’m aching, everywhere. I’ve never felt like this before. Needy. Euphoric. Wanting him under my skin.

  “I could say the same about you,” I say breathlessly as moisture pools between my thighs.

  His mouth descends to my collarbone as I rock against the hardness between my legs, making us both groan. I want him so badly, my skin burning against him. Pushing him back onto my bed, I lean down to run the tip of my tongue gently over his lips.

  “Fuck, Clementine,” he growls, tangling his fingers in my hair and pulling me tightly to him. I’m careening over a precipice, everything in me yearning to know w
hat’s on the other side.

  I push away and sit up, leaning back to rub the apex of my thighs into him. His eyes flutter closed. There’s something powerful about sitting astride him, watching him react to my movements. As I reach out, tracing his cheekbones with my finger, Gavin looks at me, his expression so intense and full of the same desire.

  His hands travel up my hips and across my stomach until he cups my breasts. The thrill of having his hands on me like this catches me off guard, and I arch my back, shamelessly forcing my body against his. He pulls down the front of my dress, exposing my bra. Before I realize it, he’s unlatched the snap in front, and I’m bare, the cold air giving me goosebumps. I lurch forward a bit, my long hair in my face, almost covering me but not quite.

  “You. Are. So. Beautiful.” The appreciation in his voice has me trembling. When I lost my virginity, the guy basically hiked up my skirt and went to town. And I allowed that memory to harden me to other men, to think they were all alike.

  But this? Feeling cherished. Desired. Worshiped. It’s an overwhelming rush. I’ve always thought getting naked with someone would be embarrassing, but watching Gavin want me somehow makes me more confident.

  Reaching down, I slowly unbutton his shirt. When I reach the last button, he sits up, and my hands travel along his muscular chest until they reach his shoulders. The sight of his bare skin makes me want more. So much more.

  I push the shirt off him and reach for his belt buckle, drawing it open before I scoot off him so he can slide off his pants. Standing next to him, I remember Ryan’s words about Gavin deserving lewd. I don’t know that I’m going to go that far, but I definitely feel safe with him, treasured by him, and I want to show my appreciation.

  His hand goes to the back of my knees to pull me back, but I stop and reach for the hem of my dress, slowly pulling it up and over my head so that I’m only wearing a pair of black bikini underwear and thigh-highs.

  “Damn, baby.” His eyes take me in, the hunger in his stare palpable. I let him look, a wolfish grin spreading on his face.

  In a heartbeat, he pulls me back onto the bed, flipping us around so that I’m on my back, making me gasp. He settles between my legs, fitting our bodies together, with only his boxers and my underwear separating us. I’m drenched there and a little embarrassed by my own desire, but as he presses against me, I could care less.

  We rock together, his mouth on my neck like he’s tasting me. I almost can’t stand what he’s doing to my body. I’m on fire everywhere we touch.

  His hand travels up my thigh, and as it reaches the edge of my panties, he looks up at me, a question in his eyes. I wrap my arms around his neck to pull him to me, an answer to his unspoken words because, God, yes, I want him to touch me.

  As he slips his hand beneath my underwear, sliding across the most sensitive part of me, I moan, arching my back, unable to control myself. His finger travels up and down in a slow, delectable rhythm that has me panting.

  I’m so close a few minutes later when he slides in and palms me, and I explode, gripping his shoulders as I come unraveled, shaking and delirious with pleasure.

  When I finally stop shuddering, I laugh. I can’t help it. I’ve never let myself go like this. Sure, I messed around with Daren, but I never let him touch me so intimately. I mostly touched him. I don’t think I ever really trusted him enough to be that vulnerable.

  Gavin watches my expression and grins. “That good?”

  If I weren’t already flushed with that earth-shattering orgasm, I’m sure I’d be blushing right now. I shake my head a bit, brushing off the embarrassment before I look him in the eye.

  “Mind-blowing,” I say, still out of breath. He leans down and kisses me gently, and as our lips touch, I know I am gone. I am his.

  My hands travel down his chest until my fingers dip into the sculpted V of his hip muscles that I’d love to lick. Hmm, that’s definitely headed beyond what I should do tonight. I wouldn’t even know how to do that, which makes me think I need to sit Jenna down for a tutorial.

  Gavin drops his head to my neck, his breath hot against my skin. He groans as I reach under the waistband of his boxers, my palm sliding against his hard, velvety skin. And oh. My. God. My fingers barely wrap around him, which has me all kinds of hot and bothered—again—and, let’s be honest, scared, because holy shit, how would we fit together?

  My breath hitches in my throat, and it takes me a second to gather myself. Relax, Clem. You know how to do this. When I wouldn’t sleep with Daren, I got really good at this. But I never wanted Daren the way I want Gavin. This… this is different.

  He breathes against me as I stroke down on him.

  “Fuck, Clem, that feels good,” he murmurs.

  His words make me shiver, and I smile. I want him to fall apart. I want to do this to him, for him.

  Feeling a little bolder, I pick up the pace as I pull his face to me and kiss him gently before I take his tongue into my mouth and suck. He groans again, and right now I want to devour him whole.

  “Shit, I’m going to come.” He starts to pull away, but I shake my head.

  “Uh-uh. Don’t even think about it.” I kiss him again, sucking his tongue to the same rhythm as my hand moves along him, and his whole body tenses before warmth spreads against my wrist.

  We lie there, quiet, our chests heaving against one another.

  “You’re so amazing,” he whispers in my ear, and I don’t need to see his face to know he’s smiling.

  After a few minutes, once his breathing begins to slow, I start to pull away, but he rolls over onto his back, tucking me beneath his muscular arm. I laugh, wiggling free to grab the box of tissues next to my bed. He peeks up at me as I kneel over him, his eyes sleepy, and he shakes his head.

  “I can’t look at you unless you want to go for a second round.”

  I grin, kissing him softly before I snuggle back down against him, pulling a blanket over us. My limbs go limp, and I’m awash in a euphoric afterglow as I fall asleep.

  I dream about Gavin and that as we’re tangled together he tells me he loves me.

  Best dream ever.

  -

  18 -

  Daylight breaks through my window when I wake. Gavin is draped over me, his face peaceful and relaxed. Nuzzling against him, I inhale his scent. I could stay wrapped up in his arms all day.

  “Morning,” he says groggily.

  “Hi. Did you sleep okay?” Considering we’re crammed into my narrow bed, I’m hoping he wasn’t miserable last night.

  “Hell, yes, I slept well.” He chuckles and peeks under the covers before he lets his head fall back onto the pillow. “Feel free to wake me up half naked any day.”

  I elbow him, and he laughs.

  “Do you have to go to work?” he asks.

  “Not ’til noon.”

  My phone rings in my purse, which is by the bed, so I reach over him and grab it. The call is from an unknown number, and when I pick up, no one responds.

  “Weird.”

  “What is it?” Gavin strokes my back.

  “This is the third or fourth hangup I’ve gotten from an unknown caller in the last couple of days.” I shake it off. “It’s probably nothing.”

  I shiver in the cold room, and he wraps his arms around me.

  “Want to grab breakfast?” Morning Gavin has the sexiest voice.

  I smile. I’ve heard so many stories of guys who race for the door after they’re intimate with a girl. I love that Gavin isn’t like that.

  “Sure. I’m gonna jump in the shower first.”

  He groans at me. “Not yet. I’m not ready to let go of you.” He wraps himself around me. His hand trails up my waist, making me squirm. “You’re ticklish?”

  “Maybe. A little. But don’t tell anyone.”

  “I’m learning all kinds of things about you this weekend,” he teases.

  I cover my face, embarrassed by the sheer number of things to which he could be referring.

  He whisp
ers, “You’re so damn adorable, I want to bite you.” When I peek over at him, his eyes are closed, a smile teasing his lips.

  In the light of day, he’s even more stunning. Light stubble covers his face, and when he glances at me through those long lashes, I have to bite my lip to stop from grinning. I push him off me so that he’s on his back, and I cross my arms over his chest, peering down at him because I want to soak him in. I rest my chin on my arms as he plays with a long strand of my hair. Simply having our naked chests pressed together is almost indecently intimate. And maybe that gives me a certain kind of courage.

  “Can I ask you something?” I ask hesitantly. His eyebrows perk up. “Have you… have you been with many women?”

  His lighthearted demeanor shifts into something more serious as he studies my face. “Uh, not that many. No. Have you?”

  “Been with many women? No. Not many,” I joke.

  He laughs a little, pressing his palms to his eyes. “I really didn’t need new material to fantasize about you.”

  “You… you fantasize about me?”

  He drops his hands and grins at me. “Have you seen yourself lately?”

  I look away, embarrassed, and holy hell, flattered. I try hard to focus on my point. “The reason I asked about the women is because—”

  “Because we’re dating and you have a right to know.” He brushes hair out of my face.

  “Yes, that, but you’re…” You’re good with my girlie parts and something about that makes me nervous. “You have some skill with those hands, not that I have all this firsthand experience for comparison, because I don’t. Not really.” Why the fuck am I telling him this? I have no idea. Something about Gavin makes me say things that normally would never come out of my mouth.

  “What do you mean you have no experience? Are you saying nobody has ever…”

  “I mean, I’m not a virgin, but I’ve only slept with one guy, and it wasn’t Daren. Actually, I never got close to letting Daren get in my pants,” I say as I run my finger along his chest. “I think I never really trusted him, and I guess I had good reason not to in retrospect.” I could get lost in the ridges of muscle on Gavin’s chest. “The second guy was only one night the summer after high school, and the experience definitely was not memorable. So to answer your question, no, no one has ever… gotten me there.”