Breathless

by Heather C. Hudak

  “Just the truth.”

  A light chuckle escaped my mom’s lips, and I whipped the spoon away from Chaseyn before he could react. Though, I suspected he could have stopped me if he had really wanted.

  “Go. Sit,” I said pointing at the chair. “You’ve lost your helper status.”

  Chaseyn pouted, a look so sultry I thought I might melt. Suddenly, I couldn’t remember what the problem had been just a second earlier. My knees went weak, and I had to put one hand on the counter to steady myself. My reaction didn’t escape notice. Chaseyn could see the effect he was having on me, and the corners of his lips turned up slightly. Like a puppy in obedience school, he dipped his head and took a seat at the breakfast bar. Just then, the doorbell rang.

  “Your turn,” I said, watching as my mom brushed herself off, fluffed her hair, and walked out of the room without so much as one word or glance in my direction. She looked like she might be sick.

  “I thought it was just the three of us tonight,” Chaseyn said as more of a question than a statement. “I was hoping we could play twenty questions again. Maybe I could even ask a few.”

  “Heats off,” I said. “Turns out my mom has a secret boyfriend. You’re yesterday’s news—literally. Yesterday.”

  Chaseyn just shook his head, eyes rolled up to the ceiling. Kevin walked nervously behind my mother, extending his hand cordially when Chaseyn offered his upon introduction. He only had a day’s head start on Kevin, but Chaseyn seemed relaxed, at ease in our humble home. He leaned across the counter, chin resting in his palms as he participated easily in conversation with me and my mom. As we hurried around the room making final meal preparations, Chaseyn grabbed dinnerware from the cupboard, and set the table with all of the utensils in the appropriate positions. I wasn’t even sure which side the fork went on, so it took me by complete shock that this seemingly aloof teenage boy had such impeccable table manners. All the while, Kevin sat rigid in his chair. Sure, he laughed at all the right moments and answered any questions that were aimed in his direction, but sweat beaded on his brow despite the subtle chill in the room. Terrified was the only word to describe the look on his face as the three of us bandied about like old friends. I could see that he wanted to make a good impression, to fit into our little clique the same way Chaseyn had, but he couldn’t loosen up enough to offer anything exciting to the conversation.

  “So Lia, how long have you and Chaseyn been seeing each other? A few months,” Kevin asked. The last part was more of a statement than a question.

  “Oh, we’re not exactly dating,” I replied quickly. I didn’t want Chaseyn to think I had been so presumptuous as to spread that rumor. “Chaseyn’s new here. I’m just showing him around and helping him at school.”

  “But, I’m hoping she’ll give me a chance at more,” Chaseyn added, sending my stomach aflutter.

  “Oh,” Kevin said stunned. “I just assumed…you all seem to get along so well, like you’ve known each other a very long time.”

  He fidgeted awkwardly in his seat. He was painfully aware that he was having trouble fitting in and had hoped he’d uncovered the reason why. The notion had backfired, and now, he was even more uncomfortable. I wanted him to have fun, but I didn’t know how to help him relax. Dinner was wrapping up, and I wanted him to feel like he could stay for awhile afterward. My mom deserved a shot at happiness.

  “Why don’t we let these lovely ladies relax in the living room while we clean up,” Chaseyn suggested to Kevin. “I think they could use a few minutes together, don’t you?’

  He winked at me coyly. I shivered. He was incredible.

  My mom and I wandered into the living room, and she gave me a pleading look once we were out of sight of the kitchen. I knew she thought I didn’t like Kevin, and she was silently begging me to keep my thoughts to myself for the night.

  “You’re wrong, mom,” I said, stopping to toss a few logs in the fireplace and open the flu. A slight draft lingered throughout the room, and I wanted to warm it up a bit—keep the atmosphere inviting for our guests. “He seems really nice. Nervous, but nice.”

  Next, I walked to the front hall closet where we kept a plethora of rarely used board games. Pulling down Trivial Pursuit and Yahtzee, I looked to my mom for approval. She shrugged and smiled.

  “Really? You like him,” she mouthed questioningly. I knew she wasn’t talking about the game and didn’t want to raise awareness of our conversation in the next room.

  “Really, mom,” I said in full voice. “Now, let’s focus on making him feel at home so he can relax a little. Which one?”

  Just then, Chaseyn walked into the room, placed one hand gently at the small of my back, and whispered his preference. I had pegged him for a Trivial Pursuit enthusiast, so I was pleasantly surprised when he picked my favorite. It was a classic that rarely garnered interest from my generation. Kevin crept out of the kitchen, hands in his pockets, awkwardly shuffling toward the door. I look quickly at my mom, urging her to give him a sign.

  “Kevin, you will join us for a game, won’t you,” she asked earnestly. “We’ll go easy on you.”

  “Hey, I’m not making any promises,” I chimed.

  Chaseyn had spread out the game pieces on the floor in front of the fire, and I knelt down beside him. A thought crossed my mind, and I jumped up swiftly.

  “Coffee? Tea,” I looked around the room. Chaseyn tugged my pant leg and thumped his palm on the floor, indicating I should return to the space beside him.

  “It’s already on,” he said proudly. “The kettle should come to a boil any minute, and the coffee is percolating now.”

  My mom arched her head to the right—the direction of the kitchen—and wandered out of the room. Kevin joined her in the kitchen as she grabbed a tray of cream, sugar, and four mugs. He returned carrying a coffee carafe and tea pot and looking much more at ease. Not to mention, there was a slight lipstick stain on his cheek. I cringed at the thought, but I tried to keep the uneasy look to myself. He was just starting to come out of his shell, and I didn’t want to be the cause of any regression.

  While they were gone, Chaseyn and I sat across from each other, staring in silence. Neither of us blinked. We didn’t need to speak to share what was on our minds. We were both content just to be together. Stirring only when we heard the adults coming down the hall, Chaseyn quickly lifted my hand and pressed it lightly to his lips. A hint of moisture dampened my palm, and heat seared through my body. In that moment, I knew Chaseyn was much more than just a friend. I would walk across hot coals to be with him. And, I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that he would do the same for me.

  “Yahtzee,” I shouted, jumping to my feet and doing a little victory dance. I was feeling exceptionally confidant at that point. It was my third Yahtzee that game. My mom yanked me back down mid shimmy.

  “Well, I hate to break up this party, but you two have school tomorrow. I think it’s time for Chaseyn to leave. I think we all know how this game is going to end anyhow,” my mom said.

  Chaseyn gathered together the game pieces and hopped to his feet, grabbing both of my hands and gently hoisting me to my feet. I walked Chaseyn to the door, while my mom and Kevin retreated to the dining room for another cup of coffee. They were quietly contemplating the evening; Kevin was concerned that he had made a poor impression. My mom was assuring him otherwise. She was right.

  We stood awkwardly at the door. I wanted desperately for Chaseyn to say something, anything, but he just stood there. Finally, he tucked a stray hair behind my ear, his fingers lingering at my cheek, before sliding his hand down my neck to my shoulder, and lastly, down my arm.

  “Goodnight,” I whispered.

  “Sweet dreams,” he said, kissing me softly on the top of my head before turning to leave. The cold night air whisked through the door, and he pulled his open coat tight around his body. I winced as the chill stung my face, and he closed the door quickly behind him.

  “Good night, mom. It was nice to meet you, Kevin,�
� I hollered as I walked quickly up the stairs.

  “Good night, sweetheart,” my mom shouted back, a hint of appreciation in her voice. I knew she would be happy to have the time alone with Kevin.

  Running up the stairs, I reached my room in seconds flat. I hoped to catch a glimpse of Chaseyn driving away. Peering through the window, my eyes were treated to more than I had expected. Chaseyn was there, leaning against his cherry red, 1967, ragtop Mustang. His arms were planted firmly behind his back for support, his legs crossed out in front. Wisps of dark hair blew wildly around his stark face. The color was gone from his cheeks, and his lips were just one shade deeper than his skin. In the darkness, he seemed unreal. I opened the window slightly and tried my hand at a loud whisper.

  “What are you still doing out there,” I asked sternly. “It’s freezing. You’re going to catch cold.”

  I couldn’t bear the thought of him missing school. How would I make it through the day?

  “Tomorrow. I’ll be waiting right here at 7:45 a.m.,” he said in a practiced whisper so perfect it was as if he were saying the words directly in my ear.

  “But, what about Addie? I’m still not allowed to use the phone, and she’ll be waiting.”

  “I’ll take care of it,” he said casually and walked around to the driver’s side. He shot me one last look before smoothly ducking inside. In a flash, he was gone. Suddenly, the darkness seemed so empty. A part of me left with him.

  Chapter 12 - One Week

  As promised, Chaseyn was waiting for me in the morning. Just one week ago today, he had been a nameless face in the back row of my first-period class. Over the course of seven days, my world had been turned upside-down. My stomach did flips at the thought.

  Chaseyn took a scenic route to school, weaving past green spaces and doll-like houses that I had never before noticed in the past 17 years of living in this small town. Our conversation was easy, like we had known each other our entire lives. Chaseyn had been privy to a little piece of my life this weekend that I rarely shared with anyone other than Addie. But, I still knew very little about him. Part of me wanted to shine a spotlight on his face and force him to answer a million questions, just so we would be on a level playing field. Instead, I decided to enjoy the moment. If all went well, I would have plenty of time to get to know him better.

  I had never been one to shy away from attention, but today was different. All eyes were on us as Chaseyn whipped down the main road by the school looking for a suitable space to park. I hoped they were observing his the pristine vehicle, but I knew they were looking at us with inquiring eyes. The last thing I wanted to do was be bombarded with questions about our relationship status when we hadn’t even figured it out yet.

  “Is it okay if I take this off for today,” I asked, my had wrapping around the silver cuff that had been glued to my wrist since Friday night.”

  “I would prefer you didn’t,” he said morosely. “Don’t you like it?”

  Sadness filled my heart. He thought I didn’t like it, and I felt badly for making the suggestion. Still, it was a beacon to others who knew that I would never adorn anything so lavish, let alone have the funds to buy it for myself. I wasn’t sure how to explain to him—without my face turning the same color as his car—that people would want to know if we were a couple.

  “Please. Leave it on,” he said. Then, he held his hands to me in a gesture that suggested I should wait in the car while he quickly sprang to his feet. He dashed around the front to my side and opened the door. Helping me to my feet, he grabbed my book bag in one hand and my right hand in the other. He planted a single kiss on the back of my hand, and I knew instantly what he was trying to do.

  “Do you think that’s going to make it easier,” I questioned, a slight laugh in my voice.

  “You were worried that people would notice the bracelet and wonder about us—if we were a couple,” he added. “Well, now there is no question…unless, of course, you don’t want to be with me. I never thought of that possibility.”

  “Ugh. You’re impossible,” I said, tightening my grip on his hand.

  “Impossibly cute,” he added, more of a question that a statement.

  “That too,” I said smiling. “Of course I want to be with you. I haven’t been able to get you out of my head since the first time I laid eyes on you, but I was hoping to ease people into the idea. Now, I don’t think there is much chance of that.”

  As if on cue, Addie came running out of the main doors and made a beeline straight to where Chaseyn and I were walking hand-in-hand. He sent me an apologetic look, and slowly broke free of our union.

  “I think I better give you two a few minutes together before class,” he chuckled and walked off toward what I could only assume was the direction of his locker. I felt foolish for not knowing. Addie’s interrogation hit me like a bolt of lightning. It was loud, fast, and frightening.

  “Okay, so I got this call at like nine last night, and I thought it was a prank,” Addie started, stammering on a mile a minute. “So, I was still going to come by your place this morning, you know, just in case it was a joke, and you really didn’t have a ride to school. But, there was something in his voice that made me believe it was true. Then, I saw you guys pulling up in that awesome ride. Seriously, Lia, it’s only been two days. What happened? You have to tell me everything.”

  “I can’t,” I started to say, when she stopped me short.

  “What do you mean, you can’t? You have to. I’m dying here.”

  “Addie, let me finish. I was going to say that I can’t because you won’t stop talking long enough to let me get a single word in. Case and point.”

  “Humph,” was all she could manage to spill out now, her arms crossed around her chest. She was a bit stubborn sometimes, and she took every comment far too personally. With the exception of that one fight years ago, we had never gone longer than a day or two without talking—usually when she Addie was vacationing overseas with her family. I was every bit as anxious to share the details as she was to hear them.

  “First, tell me about you and Rob,” I said.

  “Come on, Lia. That’s old news. You’ve been down this road with me enough times to know how that story ends,” she said, pointing to a silver chain around her neck sporting Rob’s class ring. It was no surprise that they had reconciled. Everyone had been waiting for it to happen for weeks.

  “Oh, Addie. He gave you his ring. That’s great,” I said, trying to sound genuine. That ring had bounced back and forth between the two of them so many times that I was surprised there was anything left of it. Still, I was happy for them. When they weren’t trying to outdo each other, they were a great couple.

  “Seriously, Lia. Get on with it already. You’re no more surprised that I’m wearing Rob’s ring than he is.”

  “Fine. Well, you know that Friday night was a nightmare,” I began, thinking back to the wrath I faced when I walked through the door just after midnight. My mind drifted a bit further back for a moment, and I remembered Chaseyn holding me loosely in his arms as we swayed to the music at Hannah’s party. Looking back, I realized the song warranted a much more jubilant dance regime, but we never changed our pace. Others bounced frantically around us with heavy feet, while we waltzed slowly. I blushed at the thought.

  “Yeah, Lia, I know that part. You were grounded forever. Fast forward past your Saturday morning break,” Addie said impatiently.

  It had barely been two days since we last spoke, but already I had nearly forgotten some of the details. Addie was sufficiently pleased when I started at the exact moment she pulled away from the bakery to find Chaseyn looming next to me. I went into immense detail, knowing she would appreciate even the most-minute aspect. I hadn’t told very much of the story when she suddenly interrupted.

  “Shoes?”

  I closed my eyes and shook my head lightly. I didn’t have to ask for clarification. Addie was obvious, shallow.

  “Yes,” I replied, knowing she would be less
than impressed by my sarcasm. “He was wearing some.”

  “Ugh,” she muttered. Addie had a theory about men base on the type of shoes they wore. “What kind?”

  “Black?”

  “Forget it. Carry on,” she urged, a hint of annoyance in her tone.

  After I had regaled her with everything I had experienced over the past two days, and she had sufficiently ogled the elegant bauble adorning my wrist, Addie began an in-depth analysis of the situation. Fortunately, after only a few minutes of psychobabble, the first bell rang, signaling us to get to class. I walked hesitantly into the room, knowing others would be eager to attack with a million questions, but none of that mattered once I saw him. He wasn’t in the same seat as last week. Instead, he was positioned in the desk next to mine, opposite Addie. Normally, Owen Larsen would be anxiously awaiting Mr. Sheppherd’s arrival from that exact seat. Owen was a nervous kid. He was one of those boys who never quite fit in. He was smart, but not smart enough to blend in with the academic types. He was too clumsy to take part in athletics, always tripping over his shoelaces. And, he was far from stylish. Owen would give the shirt off his back to anyone who asked for it, but he didn’t have a lot of friends. I imagined it didn’t take Chaseyn much effort to convince Owen that he would rather sit elsewhere. Owen would have been happy to receive the attention, even if fleeting.