No Getting Over You

by Shirleen Davies

  “Only my sleep.” Cassie closed her eyes, not feeling up to arguing with him tonight.

  “Sorry. That was uncalled for. And I’m glad you’re safe and back in your own place.”

  “Whatever, Matt. Is there a reason you have to speak with me tonight?”

  “There is. Kade has an early meeting with Cam and the company’s local banker, so we’ll be flying in earlier than we first thought. I’ll pick you up at your place and take you to breakfast.”

  “I don’t think—”

  “Nothing to think about. We’ve both got to eat. Besides, it will give us some time to talk before we meet with Kade and Cam. See you in a few hours.”

  Cassie stared at the phone. She couldn’t believe Matt had cut her off twice in one night. Being her boss did not mean he could be a complete jerk. She didn’t want to have breakfast…or lunch…or any meal with him.

  Rubbing both temples with her fingers, she stretched out on the bed, her heart pounding as fast as her head throbbed. She hated the way his voice could trigger such immediate and painful emotions. Ever since he’d reentered her life, Cassie felt as if she was on an unending roller coaster ride. She’d rocketed out of the starting gate, but couldn’t seem to find the finish line. Now she lived in a constant state of turmoil, as if the ground shifted beneath her, causing her to remain off balance.

  Grabbing her computer case from the floor, she reached inside, finding the album she’d stuffed inside and opening it. Two smiling faces stared back at her, arms around each other. They were in their early twenties when they’d driven to Tucson for the weekend, hiked the nearby mountains, and spent their nights making love until neither could move. It had been one of the best times of her life. As soon as she had the chance, she’d toss it in a dumpster.

  Shoving it back in the bag, she glanced at the clock. Six hours until Matt picked her up. Six hours to find a way to defend her emotions and traitorous body from the sight of him. She shut her eyes, knowing it wasn’t enough time.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Good morning, Janie. I’m here to pick up Cassie.”

  She stared at Matt, not moving from her position blocking him from entering. Glancing down the hall toward Cassie’s door, she looked back at him, tilting her head.

  “Are you certain she knew you were coming? I’ve been up a while and haven’t heard her stir.”

  “We talked after you got back into your place last night. Is it okay if I come in?”

  “Um…sure. Help yourself to coffee while I check on Cassie.” Tapping on the door, she cracked it open, leaning inside. “Hey, Cassie. Are you awake?”

  “No.” Turning onto her stomach, Cassie grabbed the pillow and covered her head.

  Janie walked to the side of the bed, prying the pillow from her fingers. “Do you remember agreeing to have breakfast with Matt this morning?”

  Still lying on her stomach, Cassie opened one eye a crack, peering up at Janie before pushing herself up. “I guess the alarm didn’t go off.”

  Picking up the clock, Janie turned it over. “Maybe because you didn’t set it?” She cocked a brow at Cassie. “Do you want me to tell him you aren’t well?”

  Brushing hair from her face, she stood, grabbing clothes. “No. He’ll know you’re lying and that I’m trying to avoid him.”

  “Both would be true.”

  Cassie narrowed her gaze, sending Janie a withering glance. “Just keep him occupied so I can get across the hall to the bathroom.”

  A few minutes later, she stood under the warm spray, letting the water sluice over her body, rinsing away the last smells of smoke from the night before. She had no desire to spend an hour in casual conversation with Matt over breakfast.

  No matter how hard she tried, their encounters always ended with one or both of them angry, continuing to avoid the elephant always present between them. She’d lain awake too many nights, trying to force what they’d once had into a compartment hidden deep in the recesses of her mind. It had been a waste of time and sleep.

  Although the one conclusion didn’t thrill her, nothing else would ever bring her peace. Until she confronted him about how they’d split, about the pain and anger his leaving had caused, she’d never be free to move on.

  Clearing up the past would change nothing. He’d still feel nothing for her, and she’d never again be able to trust him with her heart. It might, however, allow her to put some logic to his leaving, allowing her to finally move on. And she so desperately needed to move on.

  ******

  Matt paced around the small living room, glancing at the framed photos on bookshelves, studying posters on the walls, even flipping through a coffee table book featuring images of Colorado before his gaze landed on an object tucked behind a vase. Picking it up, his palm almost burned at the memories flooding through him. Staring at the geode they’d found on a weekend trip to a mountain town two hours east of Fire Mountain, Matt turned it in his hand. He’d known when he picked it off the rocky trail, tapping it against the ground and hearing the hollow sound, that there’d be treasure inside the nondescript rock.

  The size of an ostrich egg, Cassie scoffed at his enthusiasm, more intent on completing their hike than the journey before them. They’d always been different in that way. She tended to focus on the end goal, while he enjoyed the journey. Her eyes had widened when he took a chisel from the truck, striking the rock with several taps until it split in two, displaying a beautiful combination of white and amethyst crystals. He still remembered her gasp, then how she’d reached out, taking the larger half from him. Memories of the smile she’d shot him still caused his heart to trip over itself, his chest tightening.

  “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

  Matt set the geode back in its hiding place as Cassie walked toward him, grabbing a jacket off a chair, oblivious to the stroll he’d taken into their past. Checking his phone, he glanced at her.

  “We still have an hour before meeting with Kade and Cam. Anywhere in particular you’d like to go for breakfast?” His appreciative gaze wandered over her from the cowboy boots, to the tight, deep blue jeans, then the peach-colored blouse with a deep V-neck that hugged her curves, to the white jacket in her hand, which seemed to be more for show than warmth.

  “There’s a mom and pop pancake place a few blocks from the office.” Cassie stopped a couple feet away, fidgeting with the purse slung over her shoulder, catching her bottom lip between her teeth. He always looked so blasted hot and tempting in his Wrangler’s and chambray shirt with the top buttons open, revealing a sprinkling of hair. She couldn’t count the number of mornings she’d been settled on his chest, letting her fingers run through it, enjoying the silky crispness before letting her hand wander lower.

  “Cassie?” Matt snapped his fingers before her face. “You with me?”

  “Um…yeah,” she breathed out. “Let’s go.”

  Matt’s lips curled up into a wry grin, as if he’d been able to read her thoughts and knew how his closeness affected her. Turning toward the door, she glared at him over her shoulder. “Well, are you coming?”

  ******

  Seven-thirty and the diner already bustled with activity. From the vehicles in the parking lot, Matt figured it attracted a good mix of locals, truckers, and those passing through on their way to somewhere else. Not known as a tourist town, Cold Creek still enjoyed its fair share of travelers looking for remote places to scour for antiques, or hoping to find solace in a trek through the thick forests.

  “Any table that’s open.” The waitress stood to the side, menus in her hand, waiting for Cassie and him to pick a spot.

  Cassie spared him a quick look before selecting a table near the back.

  “What do you suggest?” Matt glanced at the menu, already knowing he’d go for any item, including eggs and bacon.

  “I always order eggs and hash browns, but Janie goes for the pancakes or waffles. She never leaves a scrap on the plate.” She flashed him a quick smile, then covered it by picking up her
coffee and taking a sip. Grimacing, she added sugar and a little cream, then tried again.

  “Better?”

  Looking over the rim of her cup, her brows furrowed before she understood his question had to do with her coffee, not her personally. “Um…yes. Much.”

  Cassie had no idea why he insisted on meeting for breakfast. She figured he must have a list of items he wanted to discuss before including Kade or Cam. Well, she had one of her own, and her goal was to at least put it before him, let the request roll around in his head, then invite him for cocktails at her place tonight. By the time he left, she hoped to have answers and perhaps a little peace.

  “Tell me about what happened last night,” he asked a moment before the waitress brought their food.

  “There’s not much to tell. Janie and I were in our apartment when a fire broke out at an abandoned building close by.”

  “I saw it. There doesn’t seem to be much that’s salvageable.”

  “Probably not. I was asleep when Kurt and his crew arrived, ordering us to evacuate. We waited in my truck until they contained the fire. That’s about it.” She mashed her eggs with her potatoes, mixed them together, then took a bite.

  “I’m surprised you didn’t stay with your boyfriend last night.” Matt didn’t glance up from his plate. He’d told himself not to bring Kurt into the conversation, but for some perverse reason, he couldn’t manage it.

  Tilting her head, Cassie set down her fork, giving him an impassive stare. “First of all, both Janie and I were beat. Secondly, he’s not my boyfriend. He’s Janie’s.”

  Matt choked on a piece of bacon, then grabbed his coffee, taking a swallow. “Didn’t he introduce himself to me a few weeks ago as the guy you were dating?”

  Shrugging, Cassie took her time swallowing her last bite before answering. “It didn’t work out for either of us, so I introduced him to Janie. They hit it off right away.”

  “Sorry. It must have been hard.”

  “Not really. We’d only gone out a few times, and never, well…you know.” She bit her lower lip, stopping herself from revealing anything more. It was none of Matt’s business. “I’m glad for Janie. I’ve never seen her this happy.” Pushing her plate away, she leaned forward. “So what did you want to talk about?”

  Matt sat back, allowing himself to feel relief at her announcement. He’d hated the knowledge Cassie may have found someone else. As ridiculous as it seemed, the worst part about being back in her life had been the realization of how much he still loved her. It made no sense.

  He’d left because of her staunch determination to see their lives melding together in a plan of her own making. Her rare acknowledgment of what he wanted or needed played little part in how she saw their lives playing out. He knew she believed his leaving had been all about him, and perhaps in some ways it had. The truth was, he’d been willing to give her anything she wanted, but he needed her to give him the chance to prove himself in the pro rodeo circuit. Not only had she balked at him taking the time between his graduation and hers to give it a shot, she refused to spend time discussing it. He wondered if she ever looked back and regretted cutting out his dreams to concentrate on her own. Now that they were older, had experienced more of life, he contemplated whether they could have a second chance to right the mistakes of the past.

  “Kade wants us to travel around the Midwest and West, meet with the main contacts on the various rodeo committees, and try to cement relationships. We could be gone for a week at a time over a period of a couple months.”

  “Just the two of us?” Cassie choked out. “I don’t think—”

  He shook his head. “Skye would travel with us much of the time, figuring we have a better chance of at least one of us hitting it off with the contacts.”

  “I don’t know. The logistics seem pretty difficult with you in Arizona, Skye in Montana, and me in Colorado.” Besides, she didn’t like any idea that included Matt and her spending significant amounts of time together, even if Skye could act as a buffer.

  “First, only the big rodeos would require us to partner. We’d approach the smaller ones as we always have, hoping to keep as many as possible and add others. It’s the big ones we want to grab. Mitch and Cam worked through the details with Kade so we’d have a starting point. The three of us would begin in the northwest and move on from there. What do you say?”

  He made it sound so simple, as if the two of them could be in the same space for significant amounts of time without the past encroaching. And from where he sat, Cassie understood. She had to remind herself he didn’t share the same regret she did about their parting. He’d wanted it, and she hadn’t. She still loved him, whereas his feelings for her had burned out long ago.

  She needed to focus on her new goal of obtaining a significant role within another company. After focusing for so long on building a career within the MacLaren companies, the thought gave her no comfort. Traveling with Skye and Matt wouldn’t hinder her plans of searching for a new job, and might actually help her achieve it.

  “Whatever you and the others want. If this is the plan, I’m in.”

  “Great. We’ll work out the details during the meeting today.” Matt hadn’t expected her to agree to it so easily, being prepared to counter each of her arguments. “If you’re ready, we should head to the office.”

  “Wait, Matt. There is one more item I want to talk about.”

  “Sure. Lay it on me.”

  The lump she’d felt building in her chest had grown until it threatened to choke her. Still, she needed to get this said. “I want to have some time alone with you. Not in a restaurant or other public place. Maybe my place tonight for cocktails…if you don’t have other plans.” She waited, her hands tightly clasped under the table.

  The request couldn’t have come as more of a surprise. It took all his concentration to control the hope he felt, knowing he had to keep his wits about him and his desire reined in until he knew what she wanted.

  “Tonight is fine. What is it you’d like to discuss?”

  “I need to understand why you left me.”

  ******

  “That wraps it up. Matt will schedule the meetings, set up the logistics, and get back with you and Skye. Is there anything else?” Kade sat back, glad to have the meeting end without fireworks between Cassie and Matt. This would be Cam’s last involvement in the division before moving back to Fire Mountain and his new responsibilities. Kade didn’t want him to carry any doubts about them to his new assignment.

  Matt and Cassie shook their heads.

  “Everyone up for dinner tonight?” Cam stood, stretching his arms over his head. “Lainey’s invited you all over to our place.”

  “Works for me,” Kade answered, watching a look pass between Matt and Cassie.

  “What time?” Matt hoped it wouldn’t interfere with cocktails at her place. The subject of their talk didn’t appeal to him, but time alone with Cassie did.

  “Lainey asked if it could be a little later. Is eight o’clock all right?”

  “Perfect,” Cassie blurted out. “At least for me.”

  “Done.” Kade pushed from the table. “I have some calls to make, so I’ll see you at the house.”

  Cam and Kade filed out, leaving Matt and Cassie alone in the room. Neither spoke as they put away their laptops and walked out to Matt’s rental car.

  “Are you still okay with coming over to my place?” Cassie looked at him, wanting him to know she hadn’t changed her mind.

  “Sure am. How much time will we have before Janie gets home?” He unlocked the car, opening Cassie’s door for her.

  “She has plans with Kurt. I doubt she’ll even come home.”

  Shutting the door, Matt glanced at his watch. They had over three hours before dinner at Cam’s. Sliding behind the wheel, he glanced at Cassie sitting erect, her hands clasped in her lap, her body radiating with tension. He would reach over and place a hand on hers, but now wasn’t the time to show his concern. They had a difficu
lt conversation awaiting them, and he had no idea how she’d respond to what he intended to be an honest discussion about why he’d left. If that was what she wanted, he’d give it to her full force and expected the same in return. They were adults, more mature, and able to deal with tough talk.

  Matt didn’t know why his stomach knotted at the last thought.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “I have wine, beer, whiskey, water, or soda. What would you like?” Cassie stood at the refrigerator door, her hand trembling as she rested it on the door handle.

  “Water would be great.”

  Pouring herself a glass of wine and grabbing a bottle of water, she joined him in the living room, waiting for him to take a seat.

  “Not much of a cocktail.” She held the bottle toward him, a smile that didn’t reach her eyes curving the corners of her mouth.

  “I’ll follow it with a whiskey, assuming we have time before leaving for Cam’s.” Uncapping the bottle, he gulped down half, then lowered himself onto the sofa. “Why don’t you sit here?” He smiled, patting the cushion next to him, unperturbed when she shook her head and sat in one of the overstuffed chairs.

  “Look, Matt, I know you would probably rather be anywhere but here with me, so thanks for giving me some time.”

  “This is exactly where I want to be, Cassie.” His face grew serious as his penetrating gaze caught hers. “Our talk is long overdue.” Finishing his water, he stood and walked into the kitchen. “Guess I need that whiskey sooner than I thought.”

  “It’s in the pantry. Glasses are next to the sink.” Cassie stared down at her wine, noticing the glass shake. Even the alcohol hadn’t helped control the nervous tremor in her hands. She’d been fighting the butterflies ever since breakfast. The need for answers drove Cassie to seek closure. She thought his agreeing to talk would be the first step. Now she wasn’t so sure.