My Sparkling Misfortune (The Lakeland Knight)

by Laura Lond

  “You’re putting King Osmund and his men out of business, Lord Arkus!” Jarvi laughed. “Here, if you want to throw stuff, I’ve made a whole new stack of firewood just for that.”

  I locked up in the castle and refused to come out, hoping that the idiots would get bored and disperse. Instead, they decided that the Lakeland Knight was preparing for some big quest, and praised me for it. No matter what I did, they found a heroic explanation! I began to think about dropping it all and running away—provided I’d manage to sneak past the crowds of admirers unnoticed.

  The royal family continued their attentions to me as well. I received a very nice letter from King Osmund inquiring how I was settling in the new place and whether I needed anything. Well, as much as I wished to, I couldn’t reply that his preposterous subjects were driving me mad, so I wrote that everything was fine, thanking him again for his generosity. The king sent another letter in a day or two, in which he asked, with many apologies, whether it would be too bothersome if his son came to visit me. Prince Philip dreamed about seeing the Lakeland Knight again all day long, he wrote.

  Not bothersome at all, I answered. And I was not lying. It would be a pleasant diversion from all the crazy happenings of late.

  The prince arrived in a carriage, but he also brought Onyx with—that’s how he named the stallion.

  “He isn’t so mean anymore!” the boy happily shared. “I don’t know what you did, sir, but he is much more friendly after your visit! I brought him so that you could see for yourself… and also hoping that maybe we could go for a ride together?”

  I liked the idea and ordered Jarvi to get my riding suit and horse ready.

  “Prince Philip and I are going for a horse ride,” I told him as he was helping me to change. “To the nearby grove and back.”

  “Very good, Lord Arkus. I will make some refreshments by the time you return.”

  “You mean, you are not going with us to make sure I don’t harm the prince?”

  The sparkling smiled.

  “No. His Highness is safer with you than he would be with a dozen guards.”

  When the horses were saddled, I noticed that Prince Philip was still quite a bit apprehensive around the stallion. He tried to hide it, but I saw it anyway, which meant that the horse would sense it as well.

  “Shall we trade horses, Your Highness?” I suggested. “Temporarily, just for the first half of our ride. I would love to try Onyx out.”

  The prince gave me a wide-eyed look, as if he couldn’t believe it.

  “You mean, you will let me ride yours?! Oh, everyone at the palace will be so jealous when they hear!”

  I did not comment on that. If people insisted on being ridiculous about everything related to me, including my horse, that was their problem.

  Prince Philip rode by my side, watching how I handled Onyx, who felt a firm hand and obeyed perfectly. The boy’s resemblance to someone from my past still amazed me, but it was no longer distracting to the point of making me unable to think of anything else. I guess I was getting used to it.

  “How are His and Her Majesty?” I inquired. “And your sister, the princess? What is happening at the palace?”

  “Everyone is fine, thank you. They all send their greetings. As to what’s going on at the palace—everyone is talking about you!”

  “Aren’t they tired of it yet?”

  “No, and it does not look like they will be anytime soon. Father keeps thinking of a good reason to invite you to visit again. Mother wonders how to talk you into posing for a portrait. Madame Clementina is positively in love with you—ha, ha, I knew you would wince when I say that! And my sister Litinia wishes you would escort her during her trips, but she doesn’t know how to approach you about it, so she has asked me to drop some hints.”

  I couldn’t help smiling.

  “It appears that Your Highness is not very good at hints.”

  He laughed again, blushing.

  “Yes, father always says, I need to learn diplomacy.”

  “Don’t overdo it.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Good thing Jarvi wasn’t around, he’d pester me to no end about what I said next.

  “Sometimes diplomacy includes tweaking or concealing the truth. You are an honest, straightforward young man, Philip. I would like you to stay that way.”

  The prince listened, clinging to every word.

  “Then I promise you here and now that I will! Upon my honor.”

  I wished I could pat him on the shoulder, and he probably wouldn’t mind, but you’re not supposed to touch royalty, so I just nodded and said,

  “Good.”

  “I wish I could be a hero like you, sir Lakeland Knight.”

  There we go again. Are all princes infected with this hero virus??

  “Why, Your Highness?”

  He looked at me in surprise.

  “Why?... Isn’t it a wonderful thing?”

  “Honestly? I don’t think so.”

  “Then why did you decide to become a hero?”

  Ha, what a question…

  “I am not a hero, Your Highness. And I certainly did not ‘decide’ to become one.”

  Philip said nothing for a few moments, thinking. Poor fellow, it was not fair of me to confuse him like that, but what else could I say or do? Pretend to be what he believed me to be? No. This silly game couldn’t go on forever, and whether I just disappear or do something to reveal the truth, I would not want him to think that I was pretending.

  “I know you dislike being called so,” the prince spoke up, “father warned be about that. But you did save my sister. And you have a sparkling in attendance.” He smiled. “I’m sorry, but you will never convince me that you are not a hero. I think I understand though. Those who want to be heroes want fame and honor. I guess I am guilty of it myself, and it is not good.”

  So I taught him another lesson of goodness. Darn, what was wrong with me??

  We reached the grove and switched horses. Having ridden my heroic horse gave Philip confidence, and he had no trouble with Onyx, who remained calm and obedient. As we rode back, I did my best to avoid serious subjects, I’d had enough of them. The prince was happy to laugh at my jokes, often making a comment that showed a sharp mind, especially considering his age. I did not want to think about it, but a part of me knew I was going to miss this lad.

  “We’re so fortunate to have you come to our land, sir Lakeland Knight,” he said as we entered the castle gate. “I hope you plan to stay here long?”

  “I don’t know, Your Highness. Probably not.”

  His face fell.

  “…Is it because of the big quest people say you are preparing for?”

  Well, that was one way to put it.

  “Not exactly a quest… It is too early to talk about it, nothing is certain.”

  The boy brightened up.

  “You are not leaving yet, then?”

  “No, not yet.”

  That was enough to restore his spirits. We had a quick meal that we both enjoyed, and after that it was time for the prince to go home.

  “Oh, I almost forgot!” he exclaimed when he was about to enter the carriage. “Father asked me to tell you. Prince Kellemar of Dalvanna, my sister’s fiancé, is coming to Ulkaria. He is dying to meet our Lakeland Knight, he wishes to thank you in person. We have just received a letter from him. He will be here in two days.”

  I managed to show nothing but polite interest. So Prince Kellemar was on his way here. I no longer needed to leave on a quest. My quest was coming to me.

  ***

  Chapter 7

  Jarvi heard Philip’s announcement about the expected arrival of Prince Kellemar, and he appeared very concerned. He had a good reason, I’ll give you that. The sparkling stayed close by, serving me with touching attention, watching my every move, and probably waiting for me to talk. I ignored him, preoccupied with my thoughts. My enemy was coming right into my hands. Soon. And very likely with just a few men.
r />   At last Jarvi gave up and cautiously started the conversation himself.

  “What are you going to do, Lord Arkus?”

  “I haven’t decided yet. What would you advise? Shall I bury the rascal alive, drown him, or maybe tie him back to back to a hungry wild bear? You’d have to help me to catch the bear, of course.”

  The sparkling frowned.

  “I know that you are joking, but I don’t like such jokes.”

  “Joking? Well, perhaps I got carried away with the last one, but the first two are very tempting. I’d do it in a heartbeat if I could decide what to choose. Which one do you think is more appropriate, drowning or burying alive?

  “Neither.”

  “Hmm, perhaps you are right. Nothing too drastic, he deserves no such honors. I’ll just chop his head off.”

  “If you do that, you will lose everything you have achieved.”

  “A crazy crowd of admirers? Big loss indeed.”

  “Not just the crowd, whose affections, I admit, are inconstant. But have you thought what it would do to those at the royal palace?”

  I shrugged.

  “They’ll be upset, I suppose. So? Why do you expect me to care? Are you forgetting who I am?”

  Jarvi suddenly grinned in that special sly manner I was beginning to be wary of.

  “I understand why you are saying such things, Lord Arkus. You are trying to convince me that you are still a bad villain. And you know why? Because you are no longer so sure yourself.”

  How do you like that?? Naturally, I tried to show him without delay how wrong he was by hurling a chair at him. The chair hit the wall and broke into pieces, only making the sparkling laugh.

  “Ha, ha, you’ve learned to control yourself and not say ‘shut up,’ very good! But I can still see it when I am right!”

  I was beside myself.

  “Jarvi, you exasperating clown, leave me alone! Why am I even wasting time on you? I owe you no proof or explanation. When I have Kellemar’s head, you will see whether I was joking or not!”

  The sparkling grew serious.

  “All right—all right, I apologize for teasing and laughing. I see that it is no laughing matter to you. Why do you hate him so, Lord Arkus?”

  “We had a deal, and he backstabbed me. Satisfied?”

  “No. I would like to hear the whole story.”

  “I’m sure you would, you nosy thing. Tough.”

  “You do not wish to talk about it?”

  “How perceptive of you to finally get it.”

  “If you do not wish to tell me, would you permit me to find it out on my own, from the realm of the spirits?”

  I remembered his conversation with the green sparkling, and something I had been curious about ever since overhearing them.

  “You need my permission to do it?”

  “Technically, no.”

  “Then why are you asking for it?”

  “Because I wish to be courteous. You may not believe it, but I do care.”

  I glanced at him in suspicion. On one hand, sparklings don’t lie… but what he’d just said couldn’t be true, either.

  “For the record, I don’t believe it. Fine, go ahead and snoop. We’ll see what you say after that.”

  When Jarvi returned after his brief disappearance, his expression was grave and thoughtful.

  “Well?”

  “Now I know, Lord Arkus. What the prince did was very unworthy.”

  “Was it, really?” I asked, feigning utter amazement. “But he wanted to defeat a villain! A noble intention, is it not?”

  “There was nothing noble about it.”

  “My, oh my, a sparkling is taking a villain’s side! I need to call a witness and write it down.”

  Jarvi looked me straight in the eyes.

  “Please, stop mocking. I mean what I say, and I think you know it.”

  Did I?... I couldn’t tell. Maybe. But it was so strange, I did not know what to make of it.

  “All right then. Go find me a large heavy rock. I think I might settle on drowning, after all.”

  He didn’t move.

  “Lord Arkus… I want to ask you not to harm the prince.”

  “What?! You still wish to talk me out of it?? I should have known! Get out of here, and take your fake compassion with you!”

  “Would you please listen to me?”

  “No!”

  “Well, I’ll say it anyway. If you promise me not to harm the prince, I will promise you that you will not regret it.”

  Now, that sounded intriguing. I had to at least find out what he had in mind.

  I lowered the second chair that was about to follow the first one.

  “Say that again?”

  He repeated it, stirring my curiosity even more.

  “You’ll have to tell me more than that. What will you do if I agree not to touch him?”

  “I will not do anything. But those who do wrong always have to answer for it.”

  “Ha! I’ve heard that one before. ‘Life will punish him,’ right? Well, I have no intention of waiting until Life gets around to it. I’ll make him answer for it myself.”

  “Then you will have done wrong.”

  “That’s my specialty, remember?”

  Jarvi let out a heavy sigh of resignation.

  “Fine. Go ahead, do what you wish. Hurt your new friends who sincerely love you, break Philip’s heart and his trust in anything good. And you will never find out what would have happened if you had listened to me.”

  With that, he turned around and headed to leave the room.

  Oh, evil trickster! He knew me well, and knew that I couldn’t stand mysteries. The line about Philip touched a nerve, too.

  I went after him and blocked the door.

  “Yes, I will know what would have happened. I’ll make you tell me.”

  “I won’t.”

  “You must do what I say, and I command you to tell me!”

  The sparkling shook his head. His eyes were laughing.

  “Sorry, but I won’t. Faradin’s order. His orders come before yours.”

  “What does he have to do with it??”

  “King of spirits? I assume it’s a rhetorical question.”

  ***

  There was not much I could do against Jarvi and his king. I took the offer. I managed to turn it my way a bit, promising that I would not harm Kellemar, but: if I do regret it, I would retract my promise. That was clever, wasn’t it? I didn’t think Jarvi would go for that, but he turned out to be a good negotiator. He took a second to ponder it and agreed.

  When an official invitation came from King Osmund to meet Prince Kellemar of Dalvanna at his palace, I asked Jarvi, not without sarcasm, what he wished me to do.

  “Go for it,” the sparkling replied. “Answer with a grateful letter of acceptance.”

  “You want the royal family to witness our confrontation, did I get that right?” I inquired.

  “Yes.”

  He didn’t say anything else, and I thought it beneath me to beg for explanations. After all, I didn’t have to wait that long to find out. I could say one thing: it was going to be interesting.

  On the day of Kellemar’s arrival the king sent a carriage for me; I was supposed to be at the palace before the prince would come. In the morning, Jarvi presented me with a splendid new outfit, made of white velvet embroidered with golden threads. He wished me to look my best, it appeared. I didn’t mind.

  King Osmund barely held his excitement, he couldn’t wait to show off “his hero” to the future son-in-law.

  “Prince Kellemar will be so honored and so happy!” he assured. “He intends to ask you for a favor, from what I understand: he wants to become your apprentice. In his last letter, he wondered whether it would be possible. I had no time to answer, and I honestly wouldn’t know. Is there such a thing as a hero in training?”

  I suppressed a smirk. Ah, Kellemar… Still following your ambition, aren’t you?

  “Not that I know of.�
��

  “That’s what I thought,” the king agreed. “It did not sound right, unless I misunderstood him? Perhaps the prince meant something else, perhaps he just wants a mentor.”

  I was certain King Osmund did not misunderstand, but I kept the thought to myself.

  We proceeded to the throne room. It was supposed to be a private reception, just the royal family, myself, and a couple of noblemen. King Osmund and the queen sat down on their thrones, I stood on the king’s right. Jarvi, as always, was by my side. By the way, I forgot to mention that he had donned a new outfit as well, replacing his brownish tunic with a yellow one, its pattern matching the embroidery of my clothes. I did not notice it right away, but when I did I had to admit it was rather neat.

  A servant announced Prince Kellemar of Dalvanna.

  “I hope you know what you are doing,” I whispered to Jarvi.

  “I do. Trust me.”

  It did not look like I had any other option.

  Prince Kellemar entered, regal and proud, just as I remembered him. He was in the middle of giving a respectful bow to the king when he saw me. How can I describe his face?... Let’s just say that the expression “his jaw dropped” has never been more appropriate.

  Seconds passed, and the prince still didn’t move or say a word, gaping at me. Others thought nothing of it, in fact King Osmund was pleased—it had to be exactly the reaction he expected.

  I relished the scene for a while and then politely inquired,

  “What’s the matter, Your Highness? Do I remind you of someone you know?”

  That seemed to bring him back to his senses, to some degree.

  “What is this man doing here?!”

  The king chuckled.

  “Why, my dear Prince Kellemar, what a question… You are too stunned, I’m afraid. This is our fearless Lakeland Knight.”

  The announcement struck Kellemar speechless again. He stared at me, at the king, and then at every other person in the room.

  “He’s no knight!!”

  “Yes, I know that,” the king nodded.