What Remains_Reckoning
Page 17
Morgan threw open the door, stepping aside as Hamilton darted inside, clearing each direction, his feet moving silently across the floor. Dust clung to every surface, dots of it floating in the air, shining white against the setting sun. He shuffled to the first doorway, disappearing into the next room. She moved to follow him when Wolfe’s hand landed on her arm, stopping her. She glanced at his fingers then up at him, arching a brow in question.
Wolfe gave her a grim look. “You know better than to follow any of us before we’ve cleared the premises. There could be an infected trapped in a closet or something. Another way in Ham hasn’t found. Or just crazy-ass people hiding in here.”
“What about Ham? He’s alone.”
That smug grin lit his face—the one she sometimes wanted to smack off. If she’d thought the boys were protective of her before, it didn’t compare to how their demeanor had changed since they’d become lovers. They were constantly edgy—more than just their normal paranoid instincts—making her follow behind one of them whenever they traveled, always ensuring she wasn’t more than a couple of feet away. She’d had to toss a stone at Gunner when he’d tried to follow her off the path just so she could use the ladies’ room. He’d growled at her! Actually fucking growled, conceding only to turn his back with a ‘be quick’ tossed over his shoulder. And when they stopped for the night—she knew damn well they barely slept, too busy watching the perimeter or her. She’d woken the other night to find Wolfe sitting in a chair by the door of a tower they’d reached, alternating his gaze between her and the entrance.
Wolfe just stood there, grinning. “Ham’s a big boy. He can take care of anything that might be lurking in the shadows.”
Morgan swatted Wolfe in the shoulder, crossing her arms on her chest. “I’m not some fucking damsel that needs rescuing. As you’ve observed before. I got you boys out of that stall. I can kick as much ass as needed. You three don’t have to pretend as if I’ve suddenly lost my ability to jab my elbow into some creep’s ribs or pop an infected in the head.”
Wolfe bore down on her, backing her up until her shoulder blades hit the wall. One hand palmed the wood beside her head while the other landed close to her waist, effectively boxing her in. His breath rustled the hairs curling around her face as he leaned in close, his mouth hovering an inch from hers. “Just because you can kick some creep’s ass doesn’t mean we’re going to stop being vigilant.”
“This isn’t vigilance. It’s obsession.” She raised her hand, brushing it along his jaw line. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m not going to do anything stupid to put my life at risk. Promise.”
His expression grew serious as his gaze swept the length of her body, but he didn’t speak.
She frowned, mixed emotions coloring her tone. “Wolfe. I only went with Beau because I knew him. Thought I could trust him. Not a lot, but I sure as hell didn’t think he was some kind of psychotic rapist. Obviously, I was wrong. I won’t make that kind of mistake again.”
“Shit, Morgan. Beau wasn’t your fault. You should have been able to trust the bastard. He’s sick.” He leaned in, resting his forehead on hers. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply you’d made poor decisions. It’s just… Damn. It’d kill us if anything happened to you. If we allowed you to get hurt.”
“Don’t you think I feel the same?”
He smiled. “God, I hope so.” He backed up, taking her hands in his. “Just give us a bit of time. It isn’t easy to brush years of training aside. We’re protective by nature. And that’s for people we don’t even know. You…you’re a whole new kind of protective.”
The honesty in his voice cooled the anger simmering just under her skin. Still SEALs, even after the world had gone to shit. And it was hard to stay angry when she knew she’d shove him aside just as quickly if they faced a threat.
“Fine. I’ll give you three some adjustment time. But don’t think I won’t kick your ass if you keep playing the part of the Neanderthal.”
“We’ll do our best to evolve.” He tugged on her hands, snapping her against him before wrapping one arm around her waist. “And for the record. You can do anything you want to my ass.”
The husky timbre of his voice coiled arousal tight in her belly, pooling moisture along her cleft. Just a word or a touch, and she wanted them. Felt her body prepare to take them inside her. “Have I told you how much I love the way you throw yourself into a mission?”
“It’s the SEAL way, sweetheart.”
“What was that about love and missions?”
She twisted in Wolfe’s embrace, smiling at Ham and Gunner as they stood in opposite doorways, the setting sun highlighting the different streaks in their hair. Ham’s bronzy-gold and Gunner’s slightly auburn. Shadows played along their jaws, and their eyes gleamed in the low light. Damn, they were handsome.
She eased out of Wolfe’s arms, walking over to them, allowing them to sandwich her between them. “I was just complimenting Wolfe’s work ethics. But what I was really trying to say is how much I love you guys.”
Gunner’s hands tightened around her then his lips pressed hard to her mouth, the kiss firm but sensual. He took his time, thoroughly tasting her before pulling back. Hamilton followed suit, his more gentle and playful. She drew in a ragged breath as Wolfe stepped up to the side, taking his turn then smiling down at her.
He glanced at Ham. “I assume it’s clear?”
“Wouldn’t be standing here sporting a boner if it wasn’t.”
Wolfe’s gaze dropped to the man’s crotch, his pupils dilating as his breathing roughened. He lingered, seemingly weighing some unspoken question before sighing out a harsh breath. “We should get a fire going. Barricade both doors and ensure nothing can get in through the windows.”
“Don’t I always take care of it? And I found a rifle and some shells. A half a dozen knives. It’s not much but everything helps.” Ham huffed, marching into the other room, his irritation ringing out with every step.
Wolfe cursed under his breath. It was obvious all the men were tense, and she had a feeling the fact they hadn’t been able to delve further into their burgeoning relationship weighed heavy on all their minds.
He glanced at her. “Can’t remember the last time you ate something.”
“Same time you, Ham and Gunner did.”
Gunner grunted. “You’re half our weight. And you haven’t got anything to spare on you. You should be eating more frequently. We’ll go on short rations if needed.”
The food they’d brought from the other cabin had almost been depleted, and she knew they’d go without before allowing her to make the same offer.
“I’m fine. Besides, what I’m hungry for isn’t in those bags.”
Gunner’s mouth pulled tight at the edges. “Safety first. Food and warmth a close second. Then we’ll see what we can do.”
“It’s been a week since—”
“Don’t think for a second we don’t want to take you into that room, strip you down and make love until you scream our names. But we can’t do that if there’s a chance it’ll compromise your safety.” He glanced at Wolfe, his obvious desire raging higher as he stared at the man. Gunner closed his eyes, looking as if he were straining to find some kind of inner strength.
Wolfe placed his hands on her hips. “Gunner’s right. We all miss the intimate contact, the connection. And once we’re back at the complex, we can spend the first week relearning every inch of each other. We just want to make sure we don’t do something stupid to risk that chance. My damn spider sense has been bothering me since that last town. Feels off. And I know better than to doubt it.”
She gave them a forced smile. “I understand. Truly I do. It’s just… These cabins are about as safe as it gets. We’ve only run across a handful of infected, and the next town is an hour’s walk from here.”
“There’s always a possibility, sweetheart.”
“I know. And that’s my point. Everything is a possibility. There aren’t any more guarantees. Every day
is a gift. I just think that sometimes, we need to focus on what’s in front of us, instead of what’s on the horizon.”
She turned, following the path Hamilton had taken, needing the momentary distance to rein in her emotions. Making love to the guys had affected her on more levels than she’d ever anticipated. It was like having an itch just under her skin that no amount of scratching could touch, and she wondered if she’d ever get enough of them. Ever get to a place she was content just to be with them without touching and tasting.
Hell no.
The thought rang loud and true in her head, drawing a deep sigh from somewhere inside. She didn’t blame the boys for being wary. She simply hoped they didn’t run out of time. Ham glanced up at her as she trudged into the back room, leaning against the far wall, toeing the floor. His gaze openly assessed her, and he tossed in another log across the flickering flames before closing the stove door and moving over to her.
He gathered her close, resting his chin on the top of her head, the scent of smoke clinging to him. “They can’t help it, you know. None of us can. It’s in our blood. You…you mean more to us than we ever imagined. Just don’t know what we’d do if we lost you.”
She smiled against his chest. “I know. But we can’t live being afraid to actually live. I’ve never felt anything like what we’ve shared. I just can’t help but think that if I were to die tomorrow, I’d have wanted to feel that again tonight.”
Ham’s jaw tensed against her head, and she knew he’d clenched his teeth. “You’re not going to die any time soon. None of us are. Which is why we’re being so vigilant.”
“Ham. Nothing’s written in stone. I respect what you, Wolfe and Gunner are trying to do, but you can’t cover me in bubble wrap and place me on the shelf just to keep me safe.”
“We love you, Morgan. Can’t blame us for trying.”
She nodded, pulling away before crossing the room, lowering her ass to the floor as she rested against the wall. “Tend your fire. I’ll be here when you guys figure shit out.”
She closed her eyes, listening to Ham mutter under his breath as he dealt with the fire. Footsteps sounded just beyond the door then continued in, moving over to where she knew Ham had been. Hushed voices murmured in the background, but she let it fade, picturing all the things she wanted to do to the guys once they realized their version of safe might not exist anymore. That there’d always be risks, situations beyond their control, and that they needed to savor every moment. Bleed as much life out of their time left as they could. That love was their one reward for making it through each day.
She huffed, warring between being touched by their sense of duty and honor and wanting to hit them across the head for being so stubborn. It seemed an impossible situation. They wanted to keep her safe, but she needed them to hold her…make the fighting worthwhile. Feet padded close to her before a body plunked down beside her, his arm touching hers.
She chuckled. She knew it was Gunner without opening her eyes. “I already told you it’s fine, Gunner. Now go get all alpha somewhere else and let me rest.”
He huffed. “How the fuck did you know it was me? You didn’t open your eyes. I know. I was watching.”
She kept her eyes closed as she pulled her knees to her chest and rested her chin on them. “Please. All you guys have a unique scent. Spicy, but male. It’s hard to describe. And your bodies feel different against mine.”
He didn’t reply. She sighed, not sure what to say when his hand landed on the small of her back, slowly smoothing up her spine. She shivered despite the touch of anger heating her skin, trying not to lose herself in the sensual glide of his fingers.
His body pressed harder against hers, his lips dancing along her nape. “We do want you, Morgan. So damn much it hurts.”
She finally turned to stare at him, her chest tightening at the pained look on his face. She nuzzled her face against his mouth, knowing she’d give them anything, do anything just to take that pain away. “I miss all of you.”
“We’re right here, honey. Haven’t gone anywhere.”
“Physically, no. But your minds are always focused on the job. On the end game. Sometimes I talk and you don’t even hear me.” She shrugged. “I understand why. And I’ll deal with it.”
Wolfe growled, moving over and kneeling in front of her. “We don’t want you to just deal with it. But Christ, we’re soldiers. It’s always been about the end game.”
“Sometimes, it’s the journey that matters.” She smiled, an idea taking hold. “Are the doors barricaded?”
Wolfe nodded, looking at her as if she might have lost her mind. “Of course. First thing Ham did.”
“What about the windows? They secure?”
“Fuck, yeah. Nothing’s getting in or out.”
“Ham? Is your fire going to burn out without you tending to it for the next hour or so?”
Ham wrinkled his nose. “More like two, why?”
“Well then other than opening up a disgusting can of beans and pretending to eat them, I’d say you three have finished everything on your ‘must have’ list to keep me safe.” She cocked her head. “Sounds as if you’ve got time to take care of my emotional needs.”
Ham joined them, staring down at her. “What needs are those?”
“The ones where you make me feel loved. Beautiful. Like I’m someone special.”
“You are someone special. Shit, haven’t we told you enough?”
“Girl, not SEAL. Sometimes I need to be shown.”
Morgan held back the chuckle in her chest at the identical frowns on the men’s faces. It was in direct opposition to the heat smoldering in their gazes. They wanted her, wanted each other. But they didn’t know how to stop being soldiers long enough to let it happen. Wolfe huffed, and she let the chuckle bubble free.
His gaze intensified. “Not sure what you find amusing.”
“You. All of you. Not sure you guys know how to truly relax. Can’t imagine what you three were like at parties.”
“We didn’t party. There wasn’t time. A few beers with the squad, the odd formal gathering.”
“That explains a lot.” She sighed, pushing the ache that had taken root between her legs to the background. “Fine. You win. Set up your stakeout schedule. Determine who’s going to babysit me first. I’m going to bed.” She pushed to her feet only to be surrounded by all three men.
Gunner took the lead, palming her hips as he drew her into his chest. “We’re not babysitting you. We’re making sure you stay alive.”
“Managed that for nearly two years on my own, Gunner.”
He growled. “Don’t remind us. All it does is make us imagine all the ways you could have been hurt. Killed. Or worse.”
She leaned into him, letting her head fall into the crook of his shoulder. “I told you that I understood. I’m not happy with it, but I know it’s an argument I won’t win.”
“Didn’t sound as if you understood, honey. You sounded pissed.”
“Unhappy, pissed. They tend to go hand-in-hand. But I won’t press the subject again.” She eased out of his embrace, pushing her way through the other two men before glancing back at them. “Is there anything else I need to do before getting some sleep?”
Wolfe frowned, crossing his arms on his chest. “You haven’t eaten.”
She waved it off. “I’ll have something before we leave in the morning.” She held up her hand. “Don’t start with me, Wolfe. I’m quite capable of knowing when I need to eat. My stomach’s been a bit off.”
Concern creased his brow. “You okay?”
“Just tired. Can I sleep now?”
He nodded, and she moved into the adjoining room. At least most of the cabins they’d found hadn’t been ransacked, the original furniture still useable. She crawled onto the mattress, grabbing a pillow and wrapping her arms around it.
“Men.”
Ham watched Morgan walk into the other room, her silhouette blending into the shadows of the room as she climbed on the be
d. One of them would venture in after they’d given her a few minutes to get settled, though he wasn’t sure she’d be pleased.
He glanced at Wolfe and Gunner. “I hate seeing her like this.”
Gunner grunted. “Her safety comes first. She understands that.”
“Hey, don’t preach to the choir, bro. But she does have a point. We can’t make guarantees.” Ham flipped Wolfe off when the man glared at him. “Don’t look at me like that. I know we’ll do everything physically possible to keep her out of harm’s way. But the world is different. These things don’t play by our rules. And they’re getting faster. Smarter. There may come a time we just can’t outmaneuver them. Might be years from now, but… I’m just saying she has a point. Eventually, we’re going to have to come to terms with that and learn to live in the moment. Make the most out of every opportunity.” He gazed into the room. “Love her every chance we get.”
Gunner closed the distance. “You really think you can let your guard down here enough to make love to her?”
Ham grinned. “Do you honestly think we wouldn’t be turning the SEAL part of us back on in a fucking second if we had to? Look around. We haven’t seen a living soul since we left that damn camp. Infected have been pretty spread out. And thankfully, they haven’t learned how to break through windows or unlock doors. They aren’t getting in here. A human…” He shrugged. “Maybe. But not without alerting us. And I know for a fact, no matter how focused Wolfe might be fucking one of us, the man’s never completely gone. None of us are.”
Wolfe glared at him. “Why the fuck do you always think I’m the one who’s not a hundred percent invested?”
“Easy big boy. We still love you. It’s just your nature.” Ham raised a brow. “You denying it?”
“No. Just pisses me off it’s that obvious.”
“How long have we known each other? Christ, you fucked me in the ass. I think I know you pretty damn well.” He gave Wolfe a cunning smile. “If you ask me, the sexual tension between us is one of the reasons we’re holding back. While we’re all good with this, I think a part of us is still worried about what Colby and the others will say.”