“We have to stop,” she gasped, dragging her mouth away from his. “I’ll be late for work.”
He shook his head, glancing at the clock in the corner of his monitor. “You still have fifteen minutes.” He sucked her bottom lip into his mouth, biting down gently and she moaned in need. “Stay with me.”
“I can’t.” She pushed up off his lap, but her legs trembled and she was unsteady on her feet.
Brady followed, rising from his chair, and lifted her onto the edge of his desk. “Why?” he muttered as he fitted his hips between her thighs and tangled his hands in her hair. “Because Jeremy isn’t here? Because it’s just you and me?”
She avoided his gaze, not sure what she could say without giving too much away. “He’d be missing out.”
“I think he’d cope.” He licked the base of her throat before sucking lightly on her skin. “We can always make it up to him later.”
“But we’ve never done this without him.” Without Jeremy, this fire burning between her and Brady would become too intense, too hard to control—and far too real.
He pulled back to stare down into her face, his chest heaving. “Maybe it’s time we changed that.”
She shook her head, pushing at his chest. “No, I can’t.”
“Katrina.” His voice was hard now, his body rigid with restraint. Though the hand cupping her cheek was infinitely gentle. “Why are you so afraid?”
“I’m not afraid,” she insisted, forcing a light laugh. “But I am going to be late for work so…”
He let her go, took a step back so she could hop down from the edge of the desk.
She straightened her clothes and ran her hands through her hair, hoping it wasn’t too messy. “I’ll see you tonight.” She tried to keep a casual tone, as if she couldn’t see the erection still straining against his jeans. As if what had transpired in the last few minutes hadn’t revealed the true extent of her reluctance to be with alone with him.
Brady didn’t look at her, only gave a curt nod. “Yeah, see ya.”
On shaky legs, she walked out of his office, grabbing her purse and keys on the way out the door.
That night, Brady didn’t follow his usual custom of joining them for dinner. When Jeremy hunted him down, he’d claimed to have too much work to get through. Understanding the demands of running of business, Jeremy hadn’t seemed to think much of it, but Trina knew better.
She was getting ready for bed when Jeremy appeared at her door dressed in his pyjamas. “You coming?”
“Coming where?” she asked, frowning at the expectant look on his face.
“Brady’s place. Where else?”
She cringed at the idea, figuring he wanted to put some distance between them. “I don’t want to disturb him when he’s working.”
Jeremy shrugged. “I wasn’t planning to sleep in his office.” When she continued to hesitate, he added, “Brady only holes up like this when he’s stressing about something. I want him to know we’re there for him when he’s ready to resurface. He needs us, whether he likes it or not.”
Trina felt awful, knowing it was her that had caused him to withdraw in the first place. But rather than try to explain what had happened, she took the hand Jeremy held out to her and followed him out the front door.
They’d exchanged keys a few weeks earlier, so they were able to let themselves into Brady’s apartment without interrupting his work. They could hear him working, his long fingers striking the keyboard as he typed. There was a brief pause as they made their way to his bedroom, making no attempt to hide their presence or their intentions. Trina wondered if he’d come out and ask them to leave. Instead, the sounds of typing resumed, faster than before.
Once they were settled in Brady’s bed, Jeremy wrapped an arm around Trina’s waist, snuggling close against her side. He pressed a kiss to her cheek and wished her a good night’s sleep before drifting off himself a few minutes later. Trina lay there in the dark, surrounded by Brady’s scent and the slow, even rhythm of Jeremy’s breathing. She hoped they’d done the right thing by coming here.
An hour later, Brady padded into the room on silent feet, already dressed in pyjamas pants and a t-shirt. He stood at the end of the bed, watching them for long moments. Then, making his way to the side of the bed where they’d left a space for him, he climbed in beside her.
Rolling toward him, she reached out. He drew her into his arms, crushing her against his body. She buried her face against his neck, breathing deeply. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. The press of his lips to her forehead was the only reply.
They were still holding each other when she finally fell asleep.
Chapter 24
It was unusual for Trina to be summoned to her parents’ house for a family lunch without an obvious reason. Between parents, siblings, cousins and her nieces, there were enough birthdays to fill any family’s social calendar. Not to mention Christmas and Easter gatherings. Even so, her mother summoned and Trina showed up. She was late and her skin was still flushed from a morning spent pressed between two aroused males, but she made it.
“Hello,” she called as she let herself in through the front door, but there was no one around to hear her. The steady stream of chatter coming from the large back deck told her she’d find everyone out there. That same deck had, some months ago, been the venue for her thirtieth birthday party. The occasion hadn’t been as joyous as she would have hoped, given the lacklustre state of her life at the time. Much drinking had ensued, and she’d managed to get through the night without anyone noticing her bleak mental state—she hoped.
“Sweetheart, you’re here,” her mother said as she came through the doorway.
“Hey, sorry I’m late.” Trina gave her a hug and kiss. “What’s going on?”
“Now you’re here, we’ll find out.” Trina’s eyes narrowed at the suspicious gleam in her mother’s eyes. “Come on, everyone’s out the back.”
Curious, Trina followed her mother out onto the deck. Her eyes widened as she stepped outside and realised how many of her relatives were assembled. This was no basic gathering with her parents and siblings. Kelly and Jake were there as well, along with her Aunty Adele, Jake’s mother, and one of his brothers. If they hadn’t all seemed so relaxed and cheery she would have asked who died.
“Trina,” Kelly cried as she made her way over to engulf Trina her in a hug. “We’ve been waiting for you.”
“Hey, you.” She gave her best friend a smile. “Do you have any idea what’s going on?”
“Actually, I do,” she whispered, and she slipped her hand into her pocket to pull out a ring. The square-cut diamond, set into the band of gold, glinted in the midday sunlight.
Trina gasped. “Oh my God,” she whispered back. “You’re getting married.”
“Not too loud,” Kelly said with a laugh. “Jake wants to make the big announcement. Both of the announcements.”
“Both? You mean there’s more?”
Kelly’s face glowed with joy. “There’s a little something else,” she hinted.
Trina glanced down in time to see Kelly’s hand brush against her lower belly. A roaring started up in Trina’s ears, drowning out Jake’s voice as he called for everyone’s attention. Kelly returned to his side and he slipped an arm around her waist, drawing her close.
“Thanks for coming today. If you haven’t already guessed, I’m the one who asked Aunty Alice to get you all here,” he said, gesturing to Trina’s mother. “Now Trina’s finally dragged her arse through the door we can give you the big news.”
There was good-natured teasing as a half dozen sets of eyes glanced her way and Trina forced her lips into a smile that didn’t touch the coldness inside.
“Kelly and I are getting married,” Jake announced, the pride in his voice fierce. “And we’re going to have a baby.”
Cheers erupted from the small crowd as Kelly took the ring out of her pocket and slipped it onto her finger. Everyone began talking at once, rushing forward to congrat
ulate the couple. Trina should have been among the first. Kelly was one of her best friends in the whole world and Jake had been more like a sibling than a cousin for most of her life. Heck, she was the one who’d introduced them to each other in the first place. And she was happy for them. Still, she couldn’t seem to get herself to move.
Her smile held tight as she took deep breaths through lungs that felt too small. Tears pricked the back of her eyes, but she blinked them away. Everyone was moving on without her. Finding love, getting married, having children. For all her determination to do the same, she’d made no progress toward her goals. Consumed by Brady’s passion and Jeremy’s care, she’d lost sight of everything but them. As long as she stayed with them, she’d continue to be stuck, but the thought of letting them go made her want to cry.
Turning away, she fought to get a hold of her emotions. She would not allow her confusion about her own life to dim this moment for two people she loved. Now was the time to suck it up and put her envy aside. With a deep breath, she faced her family once more, ready to fake the crap out of some happiness.
She froze. Derek’s gaze was locked on her, a frown of concern etched into the lines of his face. He’d seen her reaction, past the rictus nature of her grin to the devastation beneath. Her shoulders drooped as she released a mournful sigh. There was no avoiding it now. A brotherly interrogation was headed her way.
Trina managed to avoid being alone with Derek all through lunch and part way into the afternoon. She’d shaken off the worst of her melancholy, focusing on her happiness for Jake and Kelly. She’d wished them the best and asked all the appropriate questions about the upcoming nuptials and their impending parenthood. The pregnancy, though unplanned, was a source of great joy for them both and had only enhanced the love they felt for each other.
Most of the family had left by the time Derek found Trina sitting beside the sandpit in the backyard. Her sister had just taken her young nieces inside for some afternoon tea when he sauntered out to join her.
“Mum sent me out with this.” He slapped a wide-brimmed hat on her head before lowering himself into a chair beside her.
“Thanks.” She pulled the hat into a more comfortable position, though there wasn’t much sun left to protect against. “Great news, huh?” she said, hoping to avoid the inevitable.
“Yep.” He fell silent, watching her closely.
“What about you three?” She gestured to Scott and Julia, who were still up on the back deck chatting with the remaining guests. “Are you going to contribute to the family progeny any time soon?”
He shrugged, though a grin tugged at his mouth as he spoke. “The topic has come up.”
Trina didn’t bother trying to return his smile. He wouldn’t buy it anyway. “Is Julia feeling clucky?”
“Oh yeah,” he said. “But she’s got nothing on Scott.”
She pulled a face at him, unable to imagine the taciturn man going gaga over the thought of children.
The tenderness on Derek’s face as he gazed up at the two loves of his life only sharpened the pain of Trina’s own longing. “He doesn’t say much. But ever since we started talking about having kids, he’s start glaring at every baby we come across. Like he’s trying to figure out how they work.”
“That sounds more like the Scott we know and love.”
“Yeah, I think he’s creeped out a couple of the mothers at the local grocery store.”
Trina burst out laughing and Derek joined in.
“What about you?” he asked a few minutes later. “It’s been a while since we’ve caught up. What’s going on in your life?”
More than she’d expected and not as much as she’d hoped, she thought with a derisive snort. Though there was one good thing she could talk about. “I’m, kind of, starting my own business,” she said, her pride mixed with reticence. She’d already made so many impulsive decisions in her life, had so many plans that went nowhere, she couldn’t help but worry no one would take her seriously.
“Really?” There was surprise on Derek’s face, but none of the scepticism she’d expected.
She told him about selling her first book cover, and how she was now working on three more. She was still learning the ropes, but she’d discovered a flair she hadn’t known she had. The work felt more like fun than anything she’d done before. More than once she’d been up till the early morning hours working, until Brady woke up and dragged her off to bed to get some sleep. “I knew I wanted to do something different with my life, so when the opportunity presented itself, I went for it. It seemed like the logical thing to do.”
This time it was Derek’s turn to pull a weird face. “Logical? I thought you were allergic to that word. You’ve been spouting about following your gut since you were thirteen.”
“Yeah, I know,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “It recently occurred to me my instincts have a lousy sense of direction. I’m all about logic now.”
He didn’t seem convinced. “How’s that working out for you?”
“Good.” For the most part, she added mentally. Warped or not, her new sense of logic had given her a great flatmate and the chance at a career she could build on. When it came to her heart, on the other hand, logic wasn’t proving to be as compelling as two gorgeous men and bountiful orgasms.
“Are you seeing anyone?”
Trina swallowed, her stomach filling with butterflies. Until this point she’d kept her relationship with Brady and Jeremy under wraps. She hadn’t even told Kelly. If anyone would understand what she shared with the two men, it was her brother, but that didn’t make saying the words any less scary.
“Actually, I’ve been seeing two people.” She paused, clearing her throat as she stared at the empty sandpit. “Jeremy is one of them.”
“Your flatmate?” She nodded. Derek had met Jeremy briefly one day when he’d been in her neighbourhood and had dropped in for a quick visit. “Okay. And the other one?” he asked.
“His name is Brady,” she said, glancing at him sideways. “He’s our next-door neighbour.”
Derek gave her a dubious look. “That must get tricky. Do they know about each other?”
Her mouth opened, then closed again. She’d assumed he would leap to all the necessary conclusions, given his own situation. Having to spell it out for him was mortifying. “You could say that, yes.”
There was a moment of confusion before the pieces started falling into place. “I see,” Derek said, before starting to chuckle. “Who would have thought it of my little sister.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “Like you can talk.”
“Hey, I’m not judging.” He held his hands up, before asking, “Am I going to end up killing either of them for treating you badly?”
“Definitely not,” she assured him.
Another minute past while Derek seemed to come to terms with the new development in her life. “Is this a long term arrangement?”
“No.” She shook her head. “Jer is gay, or at least he’s mostly gay. He’s my friend and I love him to bits. But before long he’ll find some man who adores him as much as I do and I’ll be so happy for him when he does.”
A slow nod of acceptance was followed by another question. “And what about Brady?”
She took a deep breath. The thought of Brady finding someone else was like a punch to the gut. Despite her claims he wasn’t right for her, she couldn’t say she’d be happy for him if he moved on. “Brady’s more complicated,” she said, thinking that was possibly the biggest understatement she’d ever made. “He’s something of an introvert. But when you get to know him, he’s amazing. Smart and gentle, and a little bit broody.” She huffed out a laugh. “Scott would like him. They could sit in a corner together and not talk.”
Derek grinned as she finished her lengthy description. “You’re in love with him.” It wasn’t a question and she didn’t bother with a denial. “Is he in love with you?”
“I don’t know.” She shook her head, heaving a sigh. “He says he
wants to be with me but… he’s sleeping with Jeremy as well as me.”
“Aren’t you doing the same thing?” Derek said with a frown. “Sleeping with Jeremy as well as Brady?”
“That’s different.”
“Why?”
“Because they’re both men,” she cried. Derek looked at her blankly and she took a deep breath, trying to find a way to explain. “Brady’s always known about his attraction to men, but he’s never wanted to have anything serious with one. Jeremy is the first man he’s really been with. But the thing is, if we tried to be a couple, how can I trust he’d be happy with just me? I mean, he might be at first, but what about a year from now, five years from now. What if he realises he needs… more.”
“By more you mean someone with a penis.”
Leave it to Derek to be blunt, but that was pretty much what she meant. “Does it sound so unrealistic?”
There was a long silence as he studied her. “Are you saying bisexual people can’t be faithful?”
“No, of course not.”
“Are you sure?” he asked pointedly. “Because it sounds like that’s exactly what you’re saying.”
Heaving a sigh, she dropped her head into her hands. Apparently, she wasn’t explaining this as well as she hoped. “Isn’t that why you and Scott started seeing Julia?” she asked, quietly. “Because you missed being with a woman?”
“No.” Derek seemed appalled by the suggestion. “It’s true we wanted a woman in our lives, but Trina we knew that from early in our relationship. We didn’t suddenly go looking for a woman one day because we got bored with each other—far from it. We waited years for Julia and I count it as a freaking miracle we found her. Being with her has deepened my relationship with Scott, not supplemented it.”
“I know, I’m sorry.” She felt terrible that she’d made it sound like his relationship was less than it was. She would have been the first to defend them if someone else had dared to do the same. She was so confused, she felt like she was about to turn inside out.
Everything We Need (Finding Forever Book 4) Page 15
