How to Date a Demon

by Rose Pressey

  “Help me look for a book.” I tiptoed around the room, trying not to touch anything.

  “What the hell? Go to the damn library. We need to get out of here. I don’t like this crap.” Lily shivered and rubbed her arms.

  “I thought you were big and tough.” I chastised with a frown.

  “Why don’t I kick your ass and we’ll find out,” Lily growled.

  “You wish,” I snorted as I continued looking around the room.

  Lily stomped over beside me. “What the hell kind of book is it?”

  “It’s a book about the demons and I think it’ll tell me what I’m looking for. We’ll just take a quick glance around and see if we find it.” I pointed to a stack of books on the table beside her. “You check over there.”

  “Do you think she caught on fire?” Lily asked.

  I stuck my fingers in my ears. “I don’t even want to hear it. That stuff freaks me out.”

  A sly smile slid across her face. Great. I’d just given her ammunition. She’d know how to freak me out for sure now. We eased around the room. The smell of smoke was making me choke. Nothing appeared to be on fire or that it had been on fire, so I didn’t know where the smell came from. Had Cole been here again? Had Anna Maria called up a demon? My stomach turned. Maybe the demon had taken her to hell. Why did she know so much about the demons anyway? Heck for that matter, why would she want to know? She had definitely been putting herself at risk. I hoped someone had just broken into her home and she hadn’t been here at the time. Then I realized something: what if the person who’d broken in was still there? I needed to hurry up and get the heck out of there before it was too late.

  Just when I’d given up on finding the book, I saw it on the table. The same spot where it had been when Cole and I had left Anna Maria.

  I grabbed the book, tucked it under my arm and dashed for the door. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

  “Gladly.” Lily practically pushed me out of the way as she hurried past.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  How to Date a Demon, Rule #25

  Do scare the hell out of your date.

  We rushed out onto the sidewalk and I didn’t look back. As we made it back in the direction of my apartment, I called the police and told them about my suspicions of foul play. What they did after that was totally up to them. It was out of my hands.

  There was one other option that I hadn’t checked. Cole had mentioned the soul collector. I’d run into a creature who called himself a soul collector when I’d gone to the cemetery with Jack. He’d been lured there by the vampires. There was never a dull moment in my life.

  As we neared the cemetery where I’d found myself many times recently, I wondered if this soul collector would even be there. Cole had said the demon collected souls. Was it the same thing as the soul collector?

  “There’s someplace I need to stop before we go back to my building,” I said, not glancing over to see the sneer I was sure she had plastered on her face.

  Lily scowled—her usual expression. “Where?” she asked.

  “The graveyard,” I mumbled.

  I knew she’d freak out. Lily was such a chicken—all talk.

  “What the hell. You really are a freak,” she said in a disdainful tone.

  “Look, don’t mess with me, Lily. It’s been a long freakin’ day and I’m tired. You came along with me. I’m not forcing you, so if you don’t want to go, then beat it.”

  She huffed. “Fine. Why are you going?”

  “There’s someone there that I need to talk to. He may know where Jennifer is.” I didn’t mention that I was pretty sure he wasn’t human.

  “Okay, but let’s hurry up. That place creeps me out.” She rubbed her arms again and glanced over her shoulder.

  Apparently everything creeped her out.

  The stone entrance had a wide iron gate. The cemetery plots were all above ground, making a labyrinth of stone around the space. Lily and I eased down the stone pathway. The sound of her breathing was loud in my ear. A noise sounded from somewhere behind us. Lily grabbed my shoulders and whirled us both around. A shadow zipped around one of the vaults.

  “Oh, my God. What was that?” She gripped my shoulders tighter.

  “Let go of me. You’re hurting me.” I pried her hands from my shoulders.

  “Screw you. I don’t want to be attacked by whatever that thing was.” Her eyes were full of panic.

  “Come on. Let’s go this way.” I grabbed her arm and she reluctantly followed.

  We turned down the path to our right and weaved around the gravestones. So far there was no sign of the soul collector. Like I said, I’d met him when Jack had brought me to the cemetery. The soul collector was an ugly creature who claimed to bring souls over to the other world when they were lost and couldn’t find their way. I wasn’t so sure I believed him.

  We continued our march down the path, careful to avoid the uneven, torn-up pavement. Halfway down the jagged path, Lily paused.

  “Why are you stopping?” I asked.

  “I thought I heard something,” she whispered.

  Lily and I were wedged between a couple of ornate vaults when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a shadow zoom past. Since it appeared that Lily was scared of her own shadow, I didn’t mention the sighting to her. The last thing I needed was a freaked-out werewolf on my hands.

  The shadow appeared again, not giving me a chance to answer. I knew Lily had seen it too. No hiding it from her this time.

  “What the hell was that?” she screeched. “Was that a person? Are my eyes flipping out on me or could I see right through the creepy thing?”

  No, she hadn’t been seeing things, but maybe if I avoided the question we could get out of there before she went even more bat-shit crazy then she already was.

  “Are they serious? Are you freakin’ kidding me? You bring me to this place where you know there are ghosts. How could you?” Her voice raised to a piercing level.

  “Oh, calm down. It’s a ghost. It’s not going to eat you. You’re a werewolf. Deal with it. You knew ghosts were real, so don’t act so surprised.” I pointed.

  “I’ll get you back for this, Rylie. If I have a nervous breakdown, it’s all your fault.” She glared.

  “If?” I snorted.

  “I heard that,” she said.

  I hadn’t meant to hide my words. She was always threatening revenge. She was all bark.

  “Did you bring me here just to scare me? Is it because of the whole wedding thing? If that’s true, Rylie, then it’s a pretty dirty trick.” She sounded as if she might actually cry, but I knew better of that.

  I thought I was going to have to grab her and shake her to calm her down. “Lily, get a hold of yourself. I told you I was looking for something else. I wouldn’t play that kind of dirty trick on you.” Okay, I would, but whatever. Right now I didn’t have time. “What kind of a person do you think I am?”

  She quirked a brow.

  “Fine. Don’t answer that. I don’t want to fight right now.”

  She blew out a deep breath. “Okay. Are those freakin vampires you hang around with here?”

  “No, there aren’t any vampires here.” I crossed my fingers to cover for my lie.

  Well, not that I knew of. They had manipulated Jack’s mind and lured him here. That was why he’d brought me there and why I’d met the soul collector to begin with. They could play nasty mind games. You never knew what kind of tricks they were up to.

  “Fine, let’s meet this supposed soul collector and get out of here.” She threw her hands up.

  Walking through the graveyard was difficult since the darkness made it hard to see what uneven stones I might be stepping across. The tombstones appeared more ominous than usual, and a foreboding feeling hung over the area. That strange feeling as if someone watched us wrapped around me, enclosing us in an eerie cocoon. A chill traveled down my spine. It felt as if our every move was under scrutiny, this presence traveling with our every step.r />
  Rumor had it that the spirit of voodoo priestess Maria Laveau roamed the graveyard. Was she around? Or were other ghosts hiding in the shadows? So far I hadn’t see any ghosts, but that didn’t mean they weren’t there. I’d seen ghosts in this cemetery many times before. I’d seen more than enough the two times I visited the cemetery with Jack.

  A feeling came over me and I knew we weren’t alone. It wasn’t the ghosts or the deceased either. I had sensed another presence. Lily’s eyes widened. She must have felt it too. The sooner I found the soul collector, the sooner we could get out of there.

  “Come on. Let’s go a little further in.” I motioned for her to follow.

  “Oh great. Just what I need.” Lily snorted.

  I was so not carrying her through that cemetery.

  Lily and I trekked through the graveyard, moving further in, through the labyrinth of the graves. Our surroundings were hauntingly beautiful, but the creature I was looking for was far from it. I glanced over at Lily. She still looked terrified, which was shocking in a way. So much for her tough-girl act.

  We turned to our left and Lily clutched at my arm. I practically had to drag her through the graveyard. I glanced over my shoulder several times. Where the hell was that thing anyway? Any other time he’d pop up and scare the hell out of us. What would Lily do when she saw him?

  I knew that the creature was lurking around somewhere. At any moment he could pop out. I hoped we didn’t come too close to him. He gave me the heebie-jeebies. Not only did we have to lookout for the soul collector, but ghosts roamed the cemetery too. Not to mention the vampires and werewolves. Tour guides roamed around the grounds as well, so maybe we’d run into one of them. Did they see the soul collector too?

  Lily and I had moved a few steps further when something bounded out from behind a tall crypt and caught our attention. We froze on the spot. I wasn’t sure whether to run, or carry out my mission and talk to this thing.

  Lily let out a loud screech. “What the hell is that?”

  “It’s the soul collector,” I said, as if I saw that type of thing every day.

  “Well, it’s not collecting my soul. I’m getting the hell out of here.” She spun around, her auburn hair twirling with the spin.

  I grabbed her arm. “You’re not leaving me in here alone. Just calm down. He won’t take our souls.” At least I didn’t think he would.

  The soul collector glared at us. “You are disturbing the cemetery again. Why are you back? Do you want me to collect your soul? Do you have a death wish?”

  “I don’t know about her, but I don’t,” Lily said, her eyes wide.

  The soul collector was completely hideous. But he had some human-like features, well, considering they were distorted, I guessed you’d say they were human-like in an otherworldly kind of way. His long face stretched down like he was wearing a melted Halloween mask—kind of like in that Scream movie. His pasty white, sheer skin was almost see-through. The tops of his ears pointed upward like horns, while the bottom portion sagged down like a basset hound.

  His mouth set in a straight line as he studied us with his small coal-black eyes. His extra-large face made his narrow nose look even more miniscule. He stretched his mile-long arm out and pointed at us.

  I thought things like this were only fantasy and part of movies. I believed in all parts of the paranormal, but he really stretched my level of believability. No one would ever believe me if I told them about him. I was glad Lily was seeing it with her own eyes. I wondered if I could talk him into scaring her away permanently? I’d pay good money for that.

  “Why have you returned?” he snapped.

  He spoke like us and moved like us, but he was definitely not human. The scenery behind him shone straight through his body; he was completely see-through. But as I’d learned before, he wasn’t a ghost. He was the enforcer of the graveyard. It was his territory as far as he was concerned. Who made him boss? I was pretty sure he didn’t own the graveyard. If he wasn’t so scary-looking, I’d tell him how I felt. But I didn’t want to take my chances of being dragged off to hell though, so I kept my mouth shut. Why did I keep coming back to this graveyard? Hadn’t I learned my lesson yet? Sometimes I could be so hard headed.

  “I need to ask you some questions,” I said, praying he wouldn’t attack me.

  “I don’t have answers for you. Now, if you’ll please leave me to my business.” He gestured for me to get lost.

  I looked around. “How many lost souls are still here? I mean, does it honestly take you this long to do your job? Maybe you should reevaluate your productivity.”

  The sound of his heavy breathing traveled across the night air. He glared at us.

  “Way to go, Rylie. Piss off the hideous creature. Can’t you do anything right?” Lily shook her head in disgust.

  Hmm. Sometimes I wondered if I could do anything right.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  How to Date a Demon, Rule #26

  Help your date give the devil his due.

  “What are you?” Lily asked. “What is that thing?” She looked at me and whispered, “I know it’s not human. That’s not possible. Look how hideous it is. This thing doesn’t look like anything I’ve ever seen.”

  “I’m standing right here.” He snorted. “You don’t have to insult me.” His face seemed to droop even more, like a melting candle.

  “I told you what he is, Lily.” I pointed at him. “Don’t offend him.”

  “I figured you were just making that crap up. I mean, you’re good at it.” She rolled her eyes.

  “I’m a soul collector. I collect the souls who won’t go to the other side,” he said with grumble in his voice.

  “Oh, are you the grim reaper?” Lily asked.

  I should have warned her not to ask that question. He didn’t like that one at all.

  The tiny dark holes that were his eyes grew even smaller. “I told you before, I am not the grim reaper. Don’t call me that again,” he yelled.

  “Calm down. She didn’t mean it. Did you, Lily? Don’t get upset.” I nodded toward Lily.

  “Whatever.” She snorted.

  Now she was going to act tough? I never knew what to expect out of Lily. I thought maybe she had multiple personalities.

  The soul collector looked hideous with the sagging skin on his face. He wore a suit that looked as if he’d stolen it from one of the corpses. No wonder the ghosts didn’t want to go with him. His personality didn’t help matters either.

  “Are you going to tell me why you’re here again?” His voice boomed loud across the night air.

  “Why are you being so rude?” Lily snapped.

  Now she really was being brave.

  The soul collector took two steps forward and Lily yelped. She took off in a sprint for the front entrance. As she reached the gate she stumbled, but she didn’t let that stop her. She hurried up and ran right out the front gate, never looking back in my direction. I was surprised she’d lasted this long. She’d better never act like a tough girl in front of me ever again. Now I was all alone with this creature.

  “Lily! Seriously? You’re going to just leave me like that? Don’t ask me any more questions about the wedding. I don’t care if you do the chicken dance or the freakin’ hokey-pokey. As a matter of fact, you’d be perfect at the chicken dance,” I yelled.

  A loud, rumbling laugh sounded from the soul collector. “Some friend you have there.”

  “She’s not my friend,” I hissed.

  “Are you going to tell me why you’re here or do I need to take you to the other side? Is that why you keep coming around?” He stared, not taking his weird eyes off me.

  I swallowed hard. “No. I have questions about what you do. The ghosts… do you take them to hell?” I studied his face. “Are you a demon? And does a person have to be dead for you to take their soul?”

  He shook his head. “Didn’t I answer these questions before?”

  Why did he have such a good memory?

  “I
t’s just that recently I’ve had some dealings with people who claim to take souls to hell. Someone said they collect souls.”

  “So you automatically thought of me?” His voice sounded even angrier.

  “No… well, yes, but because you’ve come to collect them. I’m thinking if you have to force them to go with you it can’t be all that good.” My voice was barely above a whisper.

  “They are confused, that’s all. All they need is a little guidance. If they’d follow my directions they wouldn’t have this problem,” he said.

  “Maybe you’re not good at giving directions. You need to give them a little pamphlet.” I laughed.

  He frowned. Did he ever smile or laugh? He needed to learn how to take a joke. That was what I got for thinking I could lighten the mood.

  I coughed and cleared my throat. “Anyway, what about the demons?”

  “I told you that I am not a demon.”

  “Do you know where the demons are?” I asked.

  “They are all around. Just be careful that they don’t find you. Now beat it and get out of my cemetery.”

  “But do you know the names of any demons?” I pressed for more information. He had to have more information than that.

  “No,” he barked. “There’s a portal near Bourbon Street, next to that little jazz bar. Go check there and leave me alone.”

  Wow, that was the bar where we’d seen the demon. That made sense now.

  “Now we’re talking. See, why couldn’t you have just given me that information to start with?” I asked.

  “Do you remember what I said about disturbing the spirits? I told you last time. You’re wandering up and down the aisles and they get curious. They want to know what you’re doing. Therefore, I can’t do my job. Now are you going to leave me to get my work done and promise never to disturb me again?” He didn’t take his gaze off me.

  I scanned the area looking for one of the ghosts. I saw nothing else. It was just me and the soul collector and the gentle whistle of the wind. The vampires had lured Jack here before. Apparently they liked hanging out with the dearly departed. Perhaps because they had something in common with the residents of the graveyard. I was thankful there were no vampires around this time, but I could’ve used another person though. I didn’t like being alone with the soul collector. Where was Lily when I needed her? I knew she was a chicken.