Love, Lies & Consequences

by Frazier, Natasha D.

  “We’re okay baby. Have a good time,” her mom said with a wink.

  “All right. See you all in a few,” Tammy said, shaking her head at her mom. She was just like Granny when it came to Josh. They had always rooted for Joshua and something told Tammy that her mom was still in his corner. It’s just dinner, she thought. No one, including her mother, agreed with her decision to give up on her marriage, so even the smallest hope that the two of them would get back together brought a smile to her mom’s eyes.

  Tammy grabbed her jacket and walked back into the living room to find Joshua flipping through a photo album on the coffee table. All of her childhood photos were in there.

  “I’m ready,” she said as she reached for the photo album. “What about you?”

  “You were a beautiful little girl with your braces,” he said, giving her a compliment but also teasing her.

  “Yeah, yeah. I know. Let’s go.”

  Joshua grabbed his jacket from the coat rack near the front door, opened the door for her and walked to his rental car. As they walked down the brick walkway lined with beautiful tulips, he quickly stepped ahead of her so that he could open her car door. After making sure she was in safely, he hopped into the car and turned on the ignition. He smiled as the sweet sounds of music captured his attention.

  “Do you know this song?”

  “Yes, I like Elliot Yamin,” she said as his song, “Wait for You” played. She thought she was hearing the radio but it was actually Joshua’s iPod. He wanted her to hear the song because he was slowly trying to send the message that he wanted to be with her and that he would wait until she was ready to give their marriage a chance again.

  “I do as well. I like most of his music,” he said while searching for the restaurant in his GPS. Moments later, he put the car in reverse, backed out of the driveway and began the journey to the restaurant.

  “You still enjoy shrimp, huh?”

  “Definitely! As long as they aren’t cocktail shrimp. I don’t know who came up with that idea. Cocktail shrimp are disgusting. Yuck,” she said, frowning at the thought of cold shrimp. The ride to the restaurant continued on with conversation about their love for seafood. That was one thing they both had in common: their love for seafood, actually food in general.

  Upon arrival to Pappadeaux, they were quickly seated. It was the middle of the week and there was no crowd. For that, they were thankful because they were hungry. They didn’t want to fill up on the bread. Tammy was also grateful that the hostess recognized Joshua and seated them in a booth in the rear of the restaurant to help reduce any unwanted attention.

  Tammy was glad that she had remembered her jacket. Even though it wasn’t chilly outside, it was still cool in the restaurant. She glanced at the menu to make sure she had the name of the entrée correct because she already had in mind what she wanted to order. Joshua took a couple of minutes and when he finished, he placed the menu in front of him as to signal to the waitress that they were ready. They ordered their food at the same time they placed their drink order. They didn’t want to prolong dinner any longer than they had to.

  “How are you feeling Tammy? I know that may sound like a silly question but really, I want to know,” he said, his deep tenor voice interrupting her thoughts of food.

  “I’m getting better. I knew Granny was sick and that she would eventually leave us. I guess I’m more worried about Momma. She was Granny’s youngest child and she spent the most time with her in her last days. I just want her to be all right without making her feel like I’m sticking around to keep an eye on her or out of pity. I know that we all have to grieve but I just want to make sure she’s okay.”

  “I understand,” he said reaching for one of her hands. “I know how hard this is for you and how close you were to your grandmother. Even though I have to return to Boston, I want you to call me anytime you need to talk or if you need me here,” he said, staring into her eyes. He wanted her to know that he was serious about giving her what she needed from him.

  “Thanks, Josh. I really appreciate you being here for me and my family over the last week. I know my mom really appreciates all that you’ve done to help out, and so do I. Granny would be happy,” she said, smiling as she thought of her granny.

  “I’m happy to help out. They’re still my family too. There was no way I could live with myself if I hadn’t been here to chip in.”

  “I owe you one...”

  “You don’t. However, if you want to owe me, I know exactly how you can repay me.”

  “And how is that?” she questioned him, already having an idea of what his answer would be.

  “Say you’ll come to Boston to visit me again or allow me to come here to visit you. I know the season is about to pick up, but we can work something out. Just say you’ll agree to it,” he said cornering her. She brought it upon herself but the more she thought about it, the more she liked the idea of seeing more of him.

  “Okay. I suppose we can work something out.” She winked at him, removing the lemon from her water and taking a sip.

  “That’s my girl,” he said, raising his fist to hers to give her a pound. He always did that when he got his way. She laughed at him and met his fist with hers. Just as they finished the gesture, their waitress returned to their table with their food.

  “Oh, this looks delicious!” she said, anxious to begin her meal.

  “Ummm,” he said in agreement, grabbed her hand once more and blessed the food.

  “Can I try yours?” she asked before he could even try it himself.

  “Sure, as long as you let me try one of those shrimp,” he said teasing. He knew how much she loved shrimp and didn’t like to share.

  “Okay,” she said as she cut a very small piece off one of her shrimp so that he could taste it.

  “Tammy, that’s cold,” he said chuckling, “but I’ll accept that this time.”

  “What? I only have about six shrimp over here. Show a little mercy,” she said, trying to justify her selfish actions when it came to her food.

  “Uh huh,” he said opening his mouth so that she could feed it to him. “This is pretty good. Great choice!”

  “Thanks,” she said, parting her lips so that he could feed her a piece of his grilled mahi mahi. “Oh my goodness, it is melting in my mouth. Excellent!”

  They continued to chat about food, their schedules and families throughout dinner. They made plans to visit with each other once per month during basketball season. Joshua was happy about that. He felt like he was another step closer to getting his wife back. He just needed to take care of a few things back in Boston. He was seeing someone but it wasn’t serious. However, he needed to end things with her because he wanted nothing getting in the way of him making things right again with Tammy.

  CHAPTER 33

  ∞

  On the drive home, Rico began to feel as if there had been a change in their relationship. He loved Raegan and wanted to marry her, but the reality of that set in when she wanted to discuss his financial situation. That conversation completely caught him off guard and he didn’t know what to make of it. It’s not as if he had already proposed, so why did she want to get so serious all of a sudden? Up to this point, their relationship had been fun and he enjoyed the time that they were spending together. On many occasions, he had mentioned that he wanted to marry her, and he did, but not tomorrow. He couldn’t even if he wanted to. He wasn’t anywhere close to being the man that he wanted to be in any aspect: mentally, emotionally, spiritually or free of attachments.

  He was well aware that he had a lot of growing to do, and he thought that Raegan could see and understand that. However, he knew that Raegan came from a home where her mother and father had been married for many years. She saw them work through so many things together and felt like they could work through anything together as well. But he wasn’t her father and she wasn’t her mother. He wasn’t ready for all of that.

  Rolling the window down and allowing the cool air to hit his
face, he continued to think about all that transpired between the two of them tonight. The more he thought about their relationship and the kind of lady Raegan was, the more he knew that he had to break up with her. She was obviously more mature and had thought about this thing way more than he had. He had to be honest with himself. He couldn’t be the kind of man she wanted or needed him to be. The challenge now became how he would end things with her. He would have to come up with something; he couldn’t tell her the truth, or she would hate him forever.

  His thoughts were interrupted by a call from his wife. He was glad that he had already dropped Raegan off at home. He was surprised to receive a call from his wife because she was supposed to be working all weekend. She was a nurse at Veterans Memorial Hospital. She often worked long hours and most weekends, so she had no idea what he was up to most of the time.

  “Hey sweetheart!” he said as he answered the phone. “I was just thinking about you.”

  “I was thinking of you too; that’s why I called. It sounds like you’re in the car. Where are you headed?”

  “I’m heading back home. I just stepped out to get some Chinese takeout. Why don’t you come home and enjoy some of this takeout and good lovin’?”

  “Oh, honey, I wish I could. I have more rounds to do but I’m going to take off next weekend so that we can spend some time together. I miss you so much and I know that we haven’t had much time together lately. I’ll even do that little thing you like.”

  “All right girl, don’t make me come up there and meet you in the on-call room,” he said. Where did that come from? Too much Greys Anatomy with Raegan, he thought. That thought alone confirmed that he needed to do something about his relationship with Raegan. She was interfering in his marriage in ways he hadn’t expected.

  “I’m sure you would,” she said, glancing at her watch. “I have to go, I love you honey. Have a good night and enjoy that takeout. That sounds so good right about now.”

  “I love you too,” he said. Even though he had just eaten, Chinese did sound good at that time. He decided to make part of his lie the truth and found a Chinese restaurant to purchase takeout for his wife to eat during her lunch break that night. He figured he would surprise her. He knew that he wasn’t being the best husband and could try a little harder, so he considered that to be his first step in being a better spouse.

  CHAPTER 34

  ∞

  Meanwhile, back at home, Raegan called Kensi to discuss her intense conversation with Rico concerning finances. Even talking about it made her stomach hurt. She repeated the entire exchange to Kensi almost verbatim, giving her commentary on his responses to her questions.

  What bothered Raegan the most was that Rico acted like she offended him when he was the one who brought up this whole subject of marriage in the first place. It’s not as if Raegan had been pressuring him, but after tonight’s argument, she got the feeling that he felt like she was.

  “This whole situation just sounds off Rae. I’m telling you, he is hiding something. It is up to you to find out what it is or if you think it’s even worth it to stick around and find out.”

  “Yeah, I know. At this point, I don’t even think it’s worth it,” Raegan said. She was curled up in bed because the entire situation had her feeling physically ill.

  “I mean what I’m about to say in the nicest way possible. He doesn’t want to marry you, honey. He may think that he does but he doesn’t. Any man serious about getting married wouldn’t act like that.”

  “You’re probably right. What—” Raegan was interrupted by a beep on her phone. It was Caleb, a rainbow in the middle of her storm. “Hey Kensi, I have a call. Let me take this and I will give you a call tomorrow.”

  “Okay, tell Caleb I said hi. Before you deny it, I already know that no one else is going to be calling you at this time of night. Your mother is in bed. Goodnight,” she said laughing as she ended the call.

  “Bye girl.” Switching to the other line, she answered, “Hey Caleb, what’s up?” His voice was just what she needed to hear after that fiasco with Rico earlier that night. Luckily for her, Caleb was returning to town the next day to do some house hunting. He had already been in touch with a realtor and found a few houses to check out. His current objective was to talk Raegan into joining him on the house tours.

  “Hey, I’m halfway sorry for calling you so late, but I wanted to remind you that I’ll be in town tomorrow.”

  “Sure, you’re sorry,” she said checking the time, noticing that it was now 10:08 p.m.

  “You’re right, not really. I’m glad you’re still awake. Will you be available after church in the morning? I could really use your opinion tomorrow. I’m going to be touring new homes with my realtor, Teresa. Can you come out? Please?” he asked. She could imagine his dark, engaging eyes pleading with her, making it hard for her to turn him down, although at this point she didn’t want to say no anyway.

  “I love looking at new homes; I’ll come out for a little while. Do you know how many homes you’re going to look at while you’re here?”

  “We’re planning to see five tomorrow. If nothing comes of that, I will choose a few more during my next visit. I don’t want to spend all of my time looking for a place; I want to save some of that time reconnecting with you, Cami,” he said. He wanted to make it clear that what he wanted most was her.

  She loved how direct he could be when stating what he wanted. She missed that and had thought she had found that in Rico, but he didn’t know what he wanted, she concluded. She didn’t want to waste time thinking of him either, so she switched her thoughts back to Caleb.

  “I’m sure I can squeeze you in. What time does your plane land? Do you need a ride from the airport or are you renting a car?”

  “My plane lands at 8 a.m. I’m going to rent a car, so you don’t have to pick me up from the airport. That was sweet of you to offer though,” he said. She could feel his smile through the phone.

  “Actually, I didn’t offer.”

  “You did. Are you going to church in the morning? I’d like to tag along if you don’t mind. I’ll need to find a new church home as well. I can start with yours.” He was not going to miss out on any chance to be with her.

  “Sure, we’d love to have you. Service starts at 9:30 though, so you’ll likely need to head straight to church when you leave the airport. You will probably arrive in just enough time.”

  “Sounds like a plan to me. I’ll let you get your beauty rest. I have to finish packing and get some rest myself. I have an early flight in the morning.”

  “Have a good night. I shall see you in service tomorrow,” she smiled as she chewed her bottom lip. She was looking forward to his visit just as much as he was.

  “Good night beautiful. Dream about me,” he said as he ended the call. He didn’t need to tell her that; she would be dreaming about him anyway. In fact, she hadn’t stopped dreaming about him since she laid eyes on him during her girls’ weekend a couple of years ago.

  Caleb was glad that he didn’t have to do much pleading with Raegan to get her to come house hunting with him. Before things went sour, they had such a great relationship. He was hoping to rekindle that soon, and the house that she helped him pick would soon be their new home. He felt like they were mature enough adults who knew what they wanted. He would make his intentions toward her clear because they had spent a lot of time apart; however, he wanted her to know that he had every intention of making her Mrs. Caleb McKinney.

  Back at home, Raegan settled into her bed feeling many different emotions: anxiety, anger, happiness, confusion, sadness, enthusiasm and fear. She was on an emotional roller-coaster. From being totally excited about Rico to being confused and angry, she didn’t know what to think about her relationship with him, if there was anything left of it.

  And then there was Caleb. From never wanting to hear from him or see him again to being excited about hearing his voice on the phone and looking forward to spending time with him, she wondered where
her life was going. Her friends often considered her to be the one who had it all together. Looking at her life now, that couldn’t be further from the truth. She felt like she needed to make some decisions to straighten things out, but she just didn’t know what decisions to make or even how to make them. She hoped that tomorrow’s sermon was going to be one of those that were just for her.

  Raegan tried as hard as she could to dismiss her thoughts and settle into sleep. She settled into her king-sized canopy bed, fit for a queen, pulled her green jacquard comforter up to her chin, rolled over to her left side and dozed off. After finding sleep, her thoughts resumed turning. She dreamed that she was on a ship in the middle of the ocean, caught in a terrible storm. The ship was being tossed about as if it was going to turn over. No one else was on the ship but her. She was becoming so terrified that she woke up in a cold sweat, fearing what was going to happen to her. She got out of bed and walked into the kitchen to drink a half glass of water. After shaking the dream off, she headed back to bed to get some rest before church in the morning.

  Raegan woke up the next morning remembering the terrible dream she had. It didn’t return when she fell asleep the second time, but she did remember it and it bothered her. She didn’t know what it meant but she felt like it was a warning of something terrible about to happen. In an effort to remove the thoughts from her mind, she turned on her inspirational music and stepped into the shower.

  On cue, when she finished her shower, Caleb called to let her know that his plane had just landed. He also asked if she would wait for him before finding a seat so that they could sit together. He wanted to sit beside someone he knew. She agreed and ended the call. She hadn’t found anything to wear the night before so she had to spend a few moments going through her closet. She stepped into her walk-in closet and began pulling clothes off the hangers to try on. After trying on several dresses, she decided on a gray knee-length pencil skirt with a split in the back and a silk purple top. Still inside the closet, she stepped over to her full-length mirror to make sure that she looked appropriate for church. She often wore that skirt to work but depending on how her weight was acting that day, it could be slightly inappropriate for church. Satisfied that she looked good, she put the other items back on the hangers, switched off the lights and walked out of the closet. She walked back into the restroom in her master suite to touch up her signature beautiful curls. She wanted to make sure that she looked great today since she was going to spend a lot of time with Caleb.