Assassin Affairs

by R. S. Smith

  “You won't kill me. It's in your eyes. They were cold and mean at first; now they're warm and inviting. You're more apt to kiss me than kill me.”

  “You live in a fantasy world. You've been naked in your bedroom with your fantasy-girl for an hour, with no sign of being happy to see me. What's a girl to think? Show me some happiness before I go and maybe I'll let you live.”

  “Happiness?” He glared at her. “Put the gun on the bed, naughty-girl. I'm not exactly the yokel I appear to be.”

  “Meaning?”

  “Meaning I'm smart enough to have already gotten a DNA profile from your lipstick, sweetheart. I have it in a safe place, with instructions it's to be sent to the FBI in the event of my premature death. You need to be sure I live a long life.”

  This revelation caught Renée off guard. “Oh, that is such bullshit.”

  “I'm just sayin'....”

  He followed her as she backed toward the front door, pistol aimed at his head.

  “Anything else I might want to know?” she inquired.

  “Maybe. Would you want to know that I was in the Special Forces before I came here? I only appear the incompetent boob because I lack inspiration. You could give me that.”

  “Move back; you're too close,” she said with the first hint of anxiety in her voice. “This thing has a hair-trigger!”

  The detective lurched at her, grabbing the pistol from her hand and flattening her on the floor. She wriggled in vain under his two hundred pound frame.

  “So what happens now, tough guy? Are you going to arrest me?”

  “No.”

  “So you're going to force yourself on me then?”

  “No. I'm not one to take advantage of a woman like that,” he said as he rose to his feet. Looking down at her shapely figure, he admitted, “Tempting though.” Danny released the clip from the gun's housing and it fell to the floor, full of bullets. He attempted to eject the round in the chamber, but it was already empty and the safety had been on. “I guess you weren't too serious about shooting me,” he said with a smirk.

  Danny stepped back a few feet and dropped the empty pistol onto the floor, right in between them and next to the full clip. They both stared at it for a moment and then he said, “I'm going back into the bedroom to put on some clothes.”

  A few moments later, she followed him into the room. He knew she was standing behind him as he heard the sound of the clip being reinserted; then he clearly heard a round being chambered. He ignored it and continued dressing.

  “You're either a fool or very clever,” she said.

  “Perhaps a bit of both. If you shoot, don't miss. These walls are thin and I'd hate for an innocent neighbor to be killed.”

  Renée clicked on the safety and threw the pistol onto the bed.

  “Good choice,” he said.

  Suddenly, they were no longer alone as Captain Mahoney broke into the room.

  “Put your hands up!” she shouted at Renée.

  The captain noticed the gun on the bed and asked, “What's going on here?”

  “I'm recruiting her for the Witness Protection Program, Captain.”

  “I always knew you were a lunatic, Danny,” she replied.

  “She's a victim of circumstances, boss. Let her hide out here with us for awhile.”

  “I can't go along with that, Danvers.” Captain Mahoney threw a pair of handcuffs onto the floor.

  “Put those on, honey,” she ordered, her finger quivering on the trigger.

  The pair of officers looked on as Renée leaned toward the restraints. The lean unexpectedly turned into a cartwheel and she quickly snatched the pistol from the startled captain's grasp, placing the weapon at her throat.

  The whine of a distant police siren approaching could now be heard.

  “Oh Danny, and just as things were getting so warm and fuzzy between us. It seems we have ourselves a predicament,” she said as she looked up at him and placed the cuffs on his boss.

  “I underestimated you, Renée,” he confessed. “That won't happen again.”

  Their eyes locked. It was only for seconds, but the moment seemed frozen in time. Earlier, she had noticed a pocket sized digital camera on his bureau. Ignoring the siren, she casually retrieved it and, while keeping the captain's gun aimed at him for the picture and gambling that he hadn't changed his mind about not arresting her due to his captain's arrival, cozied up alongside, playfully crossed her eyes for the camera, and snapped a shot of them together.

  “Now you'll have a second photo to remember me by,” she said.

  “I've never met anyone anywhere close to being like you,” he said in dismay.

  “And you said I was predictable!” she laughed.

  Just then the sound of car doors slamming could be heard out front. She retrieved her weapon, flashlight, the bagged beer bottle, quickly kissed him on the cheek, and then disappeared out the bedroom window into the predawn night. The captain lay stunned and cuffed on the floor. Danny just shook his head in disbelief at the entire episode.

  The next few weeks passed uneventfully. Captain Mahoney had tried to hold him responsible for the escape, but his stance was that he had been in the process of getting Renée to surrender when she had charged in and ruined it. It was therefore the captain’s fault. His new photo of him and Renée was now enlarged and proudly displayed on his living room wall.

  Detective Danvers toyed with the thought of going to Manhattan to find her, but determined that it would be an exercise in futility as she surely would have relocated by now. He tried to find her phone number. There was no listing. He began routinely watching for relevant items in the news. There were none. She had no outstanding arrest warrants, which he found interesting.

  He began researching her prior victims and eventually determined her remaining three targets. One of them was named José Fuentes and he had a prior arrest in Danny's hometown of Sarasota, Florida, where the detective's folks still lived. The man had been taken in for assault and battery, rape, and suspicion of murder, but witnesses had always turned up missing or dead, and there had never been any convictions.

  Danny's parents had recently downsized and were residing in a small condo on the city's popular Siesta Beach. With the holidays approaching, and several weeks of vacation time due him, he decided this would be a good year for a Christmas visit.

  After spending some family time with his parents and getting settled into the guest room, he headed downtown. The SPD files led him to an address. He staked it out for a few hours one afternoon, then spent the evening on the beach nursing a mojito and enjoying the beautiful sunset.

  Danny returned to the suspect's residence again that night and then again every night for a week. A few people came and went, but nothing caught his attention until one night, a few hours after midnight, when he noticed a dark figure approach. It could be Renée, he thought. He moved in closer for a better view and watched as the person slipped in through a back window. Danny worked his way nearer to the residence and peered into the house to see what he could observe. The intruder was the right height and build to possibly be her.

  Suddenly he could hear the sounds of a scuffle. Danny sensed she had been overconfident due to her earlier string of successes and had gotten into trouble. He forced his way inside. Two people were in a life-or-death struggle. He was certain it was Renée and José. As he moved closer to assist her, an older man jumped him from behind.

  “I've got your back, hijo,” he shouted out as he threw Danny to the floor.

  While Danny wrestled with the older fellow, he saw José pull a knife on his new friend. She appeared to be in over her head as the man yanked off her hood and began slashing her clothes. He stabbed her in the shoulder; she yelled out in agony. Danny was too preoccupied to help her.

  “Save a piece for me, José,” shouted the man as he and Danny exchanged punches.

  José shredded her top, then pulled off its remnants and knocked her to the floor. He began dragging her around by the cuffs
of her pant legs. The pants came off and he threw them across the room. Renée was semi-conscious and her attacker could have gone to assist his evil cousin. Instead, he pulled off his trousers and climbed on top of her. Danny gained the upper hand in his own battle and snapped the second man's neck. José was so busy trying to rape his victim, he never saw Danny coming. He was dead a moment later. With the familiar wail of an approaching siren in the distance, Danny scooped her up into his arms and carried her out into the night, wearing only her latex gloves.

  “My naked detective, what are you doing here?” she asked in her semi-groggy state.

  “You can call me Danny, but don't waste your energy talking. I'm taking you to my folks' place ten minutes from here. I'll patch you up in their guest room.”

  A while later, she was lying on his bed in a state of exhaustion. He was busy preparing to tend to her wounds. She repeated her question.

  “Danny, why are you here? Did you come to arrest me or to bone me?”

  “Bone you? Is that what they're calling it these days? How can I arrest you when there are no outstanding warrants, miss?”

  She pulled off the gloves as he went for something to clean her wounds, then covered herself with the bedsheet. He returned and pulled it back off again.

  “I have to clean your wounds, and we can't be getting blood on my mom's new linen,” he joked.

  She began to lose consciousness as she watched him bandage her cuts. “Danny, hold me,” she mumbled in a whisper.

  He finished up, then climbed onto the bed next to her, still dressed, held her close, and pulled the sheet up over them.

  “So if you're not here to arrest me, I guess that means...”

  He looked over at her and she had fallen asleep in his arms, head on his shoulder.

  The rays of the rising sun awoke them a few hours later and the conversation resumed.

  “How about arresting me for breaking and entering, or for flight to avoid arrest?” she asked.

  My captain wanted to go that route, but I persuaded her otherwise. I know a few things that the department wants to have kept secret. There was never any paperwork filed. You were never there.

  “I've done some homework since we met, Danvers. There's some interesting stuff about you on the internet. You're more my kind of guy than I first thought. I flew in here from Wichita. I guess my easy success there had me feeling too arrogant. Arrogance leads to complacency, which leads to stab wounds. There's just one more name on my list, and this time it's a woman. She'll be expecting me for sure. Wanna join in on the fun? I could use a partner. I'll make it worth your while.”

  “How did you get by with no paper trail in New York?” he inquired.

  “Oh, Uncle Jack is a precinct police captain. Uncle Chip, he's not really my uncle but we're so close I call him that, is a higher-up on the other side of the law. He would have been my father-in-law if things had worked out differently. I do 'special projects' for both. Between the two of them, I'm pretty well covered. Speaking of covered, why am I lying here naked? Payback?”

  “I guess I could look to see if my sister keeps any of her clothes here. I've been kind of enjoying the view though,” he said as he lifted up the sheet for a peek.

  She slapped his hand away.

  “How am I going to explain you to my folks?” he asked.

  Danny spent the remainder of his vacation time nursing her back to health. His parents were quite used to odd things occurring in his life and were most accepting of Renée. The young pair became better acquainted during that time and were becoming inseparable, although not yet intimate. When he returned to Arizona, she followed.

  “Are you sure your boss won't get upset about my being here?” asked Renée.

  “What's there to get upset about? You let her live, you've never been positively linked to any of the deaths, there are no warrants for your arrest, and you have me vouching for you. I've already given her the heads-up about it, and she didn't make any derogatory comments.”

  “Well, I did make her look bad in front of you, and I did leave her cuffed and semi-conscious on the floor. We girls don't easily forgive that sort of thing.”

  “Don't worry about it. I'll bring her around to being your best friend,” he said confidently.

  “I'd settle for just friends right now. I don't have any girl friends anymore. Life is all about balance: good and bad, male and female, love and hate. Would you believe that I used to teach Sunday school?” asked Renée.

  “I would never have guessed that, but now that you mention it, I can imagine it. Do you want to do that again, or are you planning to resume your quest for revenge?”

  “Why can't I do both?”

  “Wouldn't that be a bit contradictory?”

  “Not really. In a way, both things are doing God's work, because I make the world a better place with each killing. I've never harmed anyone you would call an innocent. Have you?”

  “I've done a few things I'm less than proud of,” he confessed.

  “When you did black ops?”

  “How did you know about that?” he asked, startled.

  “I have my sources. I did say I'd done my homework on you, Danny”

  “What are your plans once you've finished with your list? You indicated you still plan to do that.”

  “Would you prefer I just stay here with you and resume teaching Sunday school? And would you be assuming I'd be doing the cooking and cleaning? And why should I be the one to move, assuming we even hook-up? You could come to New York.”

  “I'm not the Manhattan-type,” he said. “All that glitz would drive me crazy.”

  “Things aren't always what they seem, Mr. Detective. I admit I'm into occasional deception. I don't actually live in Manhattan. That's just a mail-drop for me. The address you found is really Uncle Chip's. He was out of town when I stopped by to pick up my mail and those two rookie cops showed up and chased me. Otherwise, there would have been a few goons standing guard. Being who he is, his place is almost impenetrable. Even the windows are bullet-proof. He's so high up in the organization that he's not only a made-man, he's the one others go to to become made-men.”

  “Really? Are you sure you're not exaggerating just a bit, Renée?”

  “Fair question since I just told you I can be deceptive, but yes I'm sure. This is one thing you can trust me on. In fact, in your case, you can trust me on 'everything', sweetheart.” She moved close and looked him right in the eye as she made that declaration. “Is that going to be working both ways, Danny?”

  “Absolutely, I swear it.” He pulled her close and they sealed their oath with an intense, intimate first kiss.

  “So where do you live?”

  “My place is in Brooklyn, but you'd never be able to find me there. I'm so well hidden, I can sleep soundly at night,” she bragged.

  “Don't get cocky. Remember what your earlier arrogance cost you. You could easily get tagged with an RFID tracker, if you're not careful, and not even know it.”

  “What's that?”

  “They're little electronic tracking devices, mostly used for following corporate inventories around the country. They're getting tinier every year, and some of the new ones can stick to clothing without your even knowing it.”

  “Damn, so much for a sound slumber. Oh well, do you wanna hear about target number ten before we get tracked down and killed ourselves, Danny?”

  “If you're determined on pursuing her, then yes I do.”

  “Her name is Manuela Muertes. I think it means many deaths, but I dunno.”

  “Is that 'the' Manuela Muertes, the one that's the sister to the infamous Mexican crime lord who coordinated those gun-smuggling cartels you told me about?”

  “The one and the same. That's why I saved her until last. In case I don't survive, I at least got the other nine. Now you can see why I could use a partner on this one, Danny.”

  “What does Uncle Chip think about all this? Maybe he should take her out instead of you doing it.” />
  “On the one hand, he hates her because she killed one of his kids. On the other hand, there's an argument to be made that it was justified due to unusual situations, he and Chris were somewhat estranged, and Manuela and Uncle Chip have a complicated relationship.”

  “And I thought I had a dysfunctional family,” he said.

  “You? I don't see that at all. Your parents are genuine and caring. I don't know anything about your sister, because you never talk about her, but your mom said we make a nice couple.” She gave him a teasing poke to emphasize the concept. “I think she has aspirations of having grandchildren.”

  “On that note, what are we going to do about sleeping arrangements here?”

  “Oh, um, well, I haven't been with a man in a long while. Can you be patient with me a little longer, Danny?”

  “We've already seen each other naked, Renée. It's just one step more.”

  “Yeah, but not yet naked at the same time. I don't have that much will power, and that one step is a mighty big one for me, good sir. We can share a bed if it won't get you too frustrated. Otherwise, I'll just sleep on the couch....for now.”

  “I'll be risking my life to win your favor. What if Manuela kills me in the process, and we've never been together that way? Could you live with that?”

  “Dannnnny, don't be like this!” She began to toy with loosening the buttons on his shirt as her resolve was wearing thin. He pushed her away.

  “I'm sorry, Renée. You're right. We need to wait. I'll take the couch.”

  Halfway through the night, she came out and joined him on the sofa. They once again woke up in each other's arms.

  “What food have you got here?” she asked. “Happiness is a leisurely breakfast.”

  “There's a little greasy-spoon diner I like downtown. Let's go eat there. They've got great omelets and pancakes. I go there every morning when I'm in town.”

  “I need to take a shower,” she announced.

  “You're fine. This place is a dive. It's the kind of spot people shower after they go to it, not before, but the food's really good.”

  “You make it sound both disgusting and appetizing at the same time. Hard to do,” she said with a chuckle.