The Laughing Corpse

by Laurell K. Hamilton

  I stared at my door and tried to stay awake. The door swam in dizzying ripples as if I were seeing it through water. My eyelids went down, jerked up, down. I couldn't open my eyes. A small part of me fell screaming into the dark, but the rest of me felt loose and sleepy and strangely safe.

  35

  I WAS IN that faint edge of wakefulness. Where you know you're not quite asleep, but don't really want to wake up either. My body felt heavy. My head throbbed. And my throat was sore.

  The last thought made me open my eyes. I was staring at a white ceiling. Brown water marks traced the paint like spilled coffee. I wasn't home. Where was I?

  I remembered Bruno holding me down. The needle. I sat up then. The world swam in clear waves of color. I fell back onto the bed, covering my eyes with my hands. That helped a little. What had they given me?

  I had an image in my mind that I wasn't alone. Somewhere in that dizzying swirl of color had been a person. Hadn't there? I opened my eyes slower this time. I was content to stare up at the water-ruined ceiling. I was on a large bed. Two pillows, sheets, a blanket. I turned my head carefully and found myself staring into Harold Gaynor's face. He was sitting beside the bed. It wasn't what I wanted to wake up to.

  Behind him, leaning against a battered chest of drawers was Bruno. His shoulder holster cut black lines across his blue short-sleeved dress shirt. There was a matching and equally scarred vanity table near the foot of the bed. The vanity sat between two high windows. They were boarded with new, sweet-smelling lumber. The scent of pine rode the hot, still air.

  I started to sweat as soon as I realized that there was no air-conditioning.

  "How are you feeling, Ms. Blake?" Gaynor asked. His voice was still that jolly Santa voice with an edge of sibilance. As if he were a very happy snake.

  "I've felt better," I said.

  "I'm sure you have. You have been asleep for over twenty-four hours. Did you know that?"

  Was he lying? Why would he lie about how long I'd been asleep? What would it gain him? Nothing. Truth then, probably.

  "What the hell did you give me?"

  Bruno eased himself away from the wall. He looked almost embarrassed. "We didn't realize you'd already taken a sedative."

  "Painkiller," I said.

  He shrugged. "Same difference when you mix it with Thorazine."

  "You shot me up with animal tranquilizers?"

  "Now, now, Ms. Blake, they use it in mental institutions, as well. Not just animals," Gaynor said.

  "Gee," I said, "that makes me feel a lot better."

  He smiled broadly. "If you feel good enough to trade witty repartee, then you're well enough to get up."

  Witty repartee? But he was probably right. Truthfully, I was surprised I wasn't tied up. Glad of it, but surprised.

  I sat up much slower than last time. The room only tilted the tiniest bit, before settling into an upright position. I took a deep breath, and it hurt. I put a hand to my throat. It hurt to touch the skin.

  "Who gave you those awful bruises?" Gaynor asked.

  Lie or truth? Partial lie. "I was helping the police catch a bad guy. He got a little out of hand."

  "What happened to this bad guy?" Bruno asked.

  "He's dead now," I said.

  Something flickered across Bruno's face. Too quick to read. Respect maybe. Naw.

  "You know why I've had you brought here, don't you?"

  "To raise a zombie for you," I said.

  "To raise a very old zombie for me, yes."

  "I've refused your offer twice. What makes you think I'll change my mind?"

  He smiled, such a jolly old elf. "Why, Ms. Blake, I'll have Bruno and Tommy persuade you of the error of your ways. I still plan on giving you a million dollars to raise this zombie. The price hasn't changed."

  "Tommy offered me a million five last time," I said.

  "That was if you came voluntarily. We can't pay full price when you force us to take such chances."

  "Like a federal prison term for kidnapping," I said.

  "Exactly. Your stubbornness has cost you five hundred thousand dollars. Was it really worth that?"

  "I won't kill another human being just so you can go looking for lost treasure."

  "Little Wanda has been bearing tales."

  "I was just guessing, Gaynor. I read a file on you and it mentioned your obsession with your father's family." It was an outright lie. Only Wanda had known that.

  "I'm afraid it's too late. I know Wanda talked to you. She's confessed everything."

  Confessed? I stared at him, trying to read his blankly good-humored face. "What do you mean, confessed?"

  "I mean I gave her to Tommy for questioning. He's not the artist that Cicely is, but he does leave more behind. I didn't want to kill my little Wanda."

  "Where is she now?"

  "Do you care what happens to a whore?" His eyes were bright and birdlike as he stared at me. He was judging me, my reactions.

  "She doesn't mean anything to me," I said. I hoped my face was as bland as my words. Right now they weren't going to kill her. If they thought they could use her to hurt me, they might.

  "Are you sure?"

  "Listen, I haven't been sleeping with her. She's just a chippie with a very bent angle."

  He smiled at that. "What can we do to convince you to raise this zombie for me?"

  "I will not commit murder for you, Gaynor. I don't like you that much," I said.

  He sighed. His apple-cheeked face looked like a sad Kewpie doll. "You are going to make this difficult, aren't you, Ms. Blake?"

  "I don't know how to make it easy," I said. I put my back to the cracked wooden headboard of the bed. I was comfortable enough, but I still felt a little fuzzy around the edges. But it was as good as it was going to get for a while. It beat the hell out of being unconscious.

  "We have not really hurt you yet," Gaynor said. "The reaction of the Thorazine with whatever other medication you had in you was accidental. We did not harm you on purpose."

  I could argue with that, but I decided not to. "So where do we go from here?"

  "We have both your guns," Gaynor said. "Without a weapon you are a small woman in the care of big, strong men."

  I smiled then. "I'm used to being the smallest kid on the block, Harry."

  He looked pained. "Harold or Gaynor, never Harry."

  I shrugged. "Fine."

  "You are not in the least intimidated that we have you completely at our mercy?"

  "I could argue that point."

  He glanced up at Bruno. "Such confidence, where does she get it?"

  Bruno didn't say anything. He just stared at me with those empty doll eyes. Bodyguard eyes, watchful, suspicious, and blank all at the same time.

  "Show her we mean business, Bruno."

  Bruno smiled, a slow spreading of lips that left his eyes dead as a shark's. He loosened his shoulders, and did a few stretching exercises against the wall. His eyes never left me.

  "I take it, I'm going to be the punching bag?" I asked.

  "How well you put it," Gaynor said.

  Bruno stood away from the wall, limber and eager. Oh, well. I slid off the bed on the opposite side. I had no desire for Gaynor to grab me. Bruno's reach was over twice mine. His legs went on forever. He had to outweigh me by nearly a hundred pounds, and it was all muscle. I was about to get badly hurt. But as long as they didn't tie me up, I'd go down swinging. If I could cause him any serious damage, I'd be satisfied.

  I came out from behind the bed, hands loose at my side. I was already in that partial crouch that I used on the judo mat. I doubted seriously if Bruno's fighting skill of choice was judo. I was betting karate or tae kwon do.

  Bruno stood in an awkward-looking stance, halfway between an x and a t. It looked like someone had taken his long legs and crumbled them at the knees. But as I moved forward he scooted backwards like a crab, fast and out of reach.

  "Jujitsu?" I made it half question.

  He raised an eyebrow. "M
ost people don't recognize it."

  "I've seen it," I said.

  "You practice?"

  "No."

  He smiled. "Then I am going to hurt you."

  "Even if I knew jujitsu, you'd hurt me," I said.

  "It'd be a fair fight."

  "If two people are equal in skill, size matters. A good big person will always beat a good small person." I shrugged. "I don't have to like it, but it's the truth."

  "You're being awful calm about this," Bruno said.

  "Would being hysterical help?"

  He shook his head. "Nope."

  "Then I'd just as soon take my medicine like, if you'll excuse the expression, a man."

  He frowned at that. Bruno was accustomed to people being scared of him. I wasn't scared of him. I'd decided to take the beating. With the decision came a certain amount of calm. I was going to get beat up, not pleasant, but I had made my mind up to take the beating. I could do it. I'd done it before. If my choices were a) getting beat up or b) performing human sacrifice, I'd take the beating.

  "Ready or not," Bruno said.

  "Here you come," I finished for him. I was getting tired of the bravado. "Either hit me or stand up straight. You look silly crouched down like that."

  His fist was a dark blur. I blocked it with my arm. The impact made the arm go numb. His long leg kicked out and connected solidly with my stomach. I doubled over like I was supposed to, all the air gone in one movement. His other foot came up and caught me on the side of the face. It was the same cheek ol' Seymour had smashed. I fell to the floor not sure what part of my body to comfort first.

  His foot came for me again. I caught it with both hands. I came up in a rush, hoping to trap his knee between my arms and pop the joint. But he twisted away from me, totally airborne for a moment.

  I dropped to the ground and felt the air pass overhead as his legs kicked out where my head had been. I was on the ground again, but by choice. He stood over me, impossibly tall from this angle. I lay on my side, knees drawn up.

  He came for me, evidently planning to drag me to my feet. I kicked out with both feet at an angle to his kneecap. Hit it just right above or below and you dislocate it.

  The leg buckled, and he screamed. It had worked. Hot damn. I didn't try to wrestle him. I didn't try to grab his gun. I ran for the door.

  Gaynor grabbed for me, but I flung open the door and was out in a long hallway before he could maneuver his fancy chair. The hallway was smooth with a handful of doors and two blind corners. And Tommy.

  Tommy looked surprised to see me. His hand went for his shoulder holster. I pushed on his shoulder and foot-swept his leg. He fell backwards and grabbed me as he fell. I rode him down, making sure my knee ground into his groin. His grip loosened enough for me to slip out of reach. There were sounds behind me from the room. I didn't look back. If they were going to shoot me, I didn't want to see it.

  The hallway took a sharp turn. I was almost to it when the smell slowed me from a run to a walk. The smell of corpses was just around the corner. What had they been doing while I slept?

  I glanced back at the men. Tommy was still lying on the floor, cradling himself. Bruno leaned against the wall, gun in hand, but he wasn't pointing it at me. Gaynor was sitting in his chair, smiling.

  Something was very wrong.

  Around the blind corner came that something that was wrong, very, very wrong. It was no taller than a tall man, maybe six feet. But it was nearly four feet wide. It had two legs, or maybe three, it was hard to tell. The thing was leprously pale like all zombies, but this one had a dozen eyes. A man's face was centered where the neck would have been. Its eyes dark and seeing, and empty of everything sane. A dog's head was growing out of the shoulder. The dog's decaying mouth snapped at me. A woman's leg grew out of the center of the mess, complete with black high-heeled shoe.

  The thing shambled towards me. Pulling with three of a dozen arms, dragging itself forward. It left a trail behind it like a snail.

  Dominga Salvador stepped around the corner. "Buenas noches, chica."

  The monster scared me, but the sight of Dominga grinning at me scared me just a little bit more.

  The thing had stopped moving forward. It squatted in the hallway, kneeling on its inadequate legs. Its dozens of mouths panted as if it couldn't get enough air.

  Or maybe the thing didn't like the way it smelled. I certainly didn't. Covering my mouth and nose with my arm didn't block out much of the smell. The hallway suddenly smelled like bad meat.

  Gaynor and his wounded bodyguards had stayed at the end of the hall. Maybe they didn't like being near Dominga's little pet. I know it didn't do much for me. Whatever the reason we were isolated. It was just her and me and the monster.

  "How did you get out of jail?" Better to deal with more mundane problems first. The mind-melting ones could wait for later.

  "I made my bail," she said.

  "This quickly on a murder involving witchcraft?"

  "Voodoo is not witchcraft," she said.

  "The law sees it as the same thing when it comes to murder."

  She shrugged, then smiled beatifically. She was the Mexican grandmother of my nightmares.

  "You've got a judge in your pocket," I said.

  "Many people fear me, chica. You should be one of them."

  "You helped Peter Burke raise the zombie for Gaynor."

  She just smiled.

  "Why didn't you just raise it yourself?" I asked.

  "I didn't want someone as unscrupulous as Gaynor to witness me murdering someone. He might use it for blackmail."

  "And he didn't realize that you had to kill someone for Peter's gris-gris?"

  "Correct," she said.

  "You hid all your horrors here?"

  "Not all. You forced me to destroy much of my work, but this I saved. You can see why." She caressed a hand down the slimy hide.

  I shuddered. Just the thought of touching that monstrosity was enough to make my skin cold. And yet . . .

  "How did you make it?" I had to know. It was so obviously a creation of our shared art that I had to know.

  "Surely, you can animate bits and pieces of the dead," Dominga said.

  I could, but no one else I had ever met could do it. "Yes," I said.

  "I found I could take these odds and ends and meld them together."

  I stared at the shambling thing. "Meld them?" The thought was too horrible.

  "I can create new creatures that have never existed before."

  "You make monsters," I said.

  "Believe what you will, chica, but I am here to persuade you to raise the dead for Gaynor."

  "Why don't you do it?"

  Gaynor's voice came from just behind us. I whirled, putting the wall at my back so I could watch everybody. What good that would do me, I wasn't sure. "Dominga's power went wrong once. This is my last chance. The last known grave. I won't risk it on her."

  Dominga's eyes narrowed, her age-thinned hands forming fists. She didn't like being dismissed out of hand. Couldn't say I blamed her.

  "She could do it, Gaynor, easier than I could."

  "If I truly believed that, I would kill you because I wouldn't need you anymore."

  Hmm, good point. "You've had Bruno rough me up. Now what?"

  Gaynor shook his head. "Such a little girl to have taken both my bodyguards down."

  "I told you ordinary methods of persuasion will not work on her," Dominga said.

  I stared past her at the slathering monster. She called this ordinary?

  "What do you propose?" Gaynor asked.

  "A spell of compulsion. She will do as I bid, but it takes time to do such a spell for one as powerful as she. If she knew any voodoo to speak of, it would not work at all. But for all her art, she is but a baby in voodoo."

  "How long will you need?"

  "Two hours, no more."

  "This had better work," Gaynor said.

  "Do not threaten me," Dominga said.

  Oh, goody, m
aybe the bad guys would fight and kill each other.

  "I am paying you enough money to set up your own small country. I should get results for that."

  Dominga nodded her head. "You pay well, that is true. I will not fail you. If I can compel Anita to kill another person, then I can compel her to help me in my zombie business. She will help me rebuild what she forced me to destroy. It has a certain irony, no?"

  Gaynor smiled like a demented elf. "I like it."

  "Well, I don't," I said.

  He frowned at me. "You will do as you are told. You have been very naughty."

  Naughty? Me?

  Bruno had worked himself close to us. He was leaning heavily on the wall, but his gun was very steadily pointed at the center of my chest. "I'd like to kill you now," he said. His voice sounded raw with pain.

  "A dislocated knee hurts like hell, doesn't it?" I smiled when I said it. Better dead than a willing servant of the voodoo queen.

  I think he ground his teeth. The gun wavered just a little, but I think that was rage, not pain. "I will enjoy killing you."

  "You didn't do so good last time. I think the judges would have given the match to me."

  "There are no fucking judges here. I am going to kill you."

  "Bruno," Gaynor said, "we need her alive and whole."

  "After she raises the zombie?" Bruno asked.

  "If she is a willing servant of the Senora, then you are not to hurt her. If the compulsion doesn't work, then you may kill her."

  Bruno gave a fierce flash of teeth. It was more snarl than smile. "I hope the spell fails."

  Gaynor glanced at his bodyguard. "Don't let personal feelings interfere with business, Bruno."

  Bruno swallowed hard. "Yes, sir." It didn't sound like a title that came easily to him.

  Enzo came around the corner behind Dominga. He stayed near the wall as far from her "creation" as he could get.

  Antonio had finally lost his job as bodyguard. It was just as well. He was much better suited to stool pigeon.

  Tommy came limping down the hall, still sort of scrunched over himself. The big Magnum was in his hands. His face was nearly purple with rage, or maybe pain. "I'm gonna kill you," he hissed.

  "Take a number," I said.

  "Enzo, you help Bruno and Tommy tie this little girl to a chair in the room. She's a lot more dangerous than she seems," Gaynor said.