The Lotus Still Blooms

by Joan Gattuso

  Unwholesome seeds are seeds of grievance, greed, lack, ignorance, judgment, attack thoughts, fear, anger, revenge, criticism, hurt, etc. We must train ourselves to refrain from watering them. In our watering of seeds we do not ignore or deny the unpleasantness of life. But we do learn to properly deal with what needs to be dealt with in our lives and then to cease. We must let go of the negatives in our lives rather than attempting to hold onto them by continuing to water their negative seeds.

  Wholesome seeds are seeds of love, peace, joy, loving-kindness, compassion, happiness, generosity, etc. These we must consciously water.

  Right Effort is asking: Where are you putting your energy? Then you put it only in areas you want to grow. Remember, what we focus on expands.What we give our mental and emotional attention to we attract more of in life. Right Effort says expand only the good.

  Where are you putting your attention in life? Put it only on that which you want more of in your life.

  I cannot begin to count the number of people I have known who want to realize higher states of mind but do not want to do the work. They have wanted me or other spiritual teachers of theirs to do the work for them, and it just doesn’t occur that way. As the Buddha said, “All the effort must be made by you.” No one but you can have your breakthroughs, your “ahas.” You cannot hire someone to do it for you. You must expend your time, effort and money.

  Once during a question-and-answer session with the Dalai Lama, the question was asked, “What is the quickest, cheapest and best way to learn these teachings?”

  Most of us in attendance were stunned at the question. The Dalai Lama put his sweet and gentle face in his hands and began to weep softly. The poignancy of the moment led my friend Linda and me to begin to fill with tears.

  After several long moments, His Holiness once again sat up straight, took out his handkerchief, patted his eyes and wiped his glasses. When he finally spoke, you could have heard a pin drop. His response was, “This is not the question of a practitioner, for a practitioner would be willing to put all his effort, time and money into the pursuit of his spiritual path.”

  Then he told the story from his boyhood when he was not putting the proper amount of time and effort into his own meditative practice and was complaining a bit to his teacher. The teacher turned around, lifted his robe and exposed his bare bottom that bore two large calluses. How did the calluses get on his bottom? They got there from spending countless hours through the years sitting in meditation. It was quite a gripping story. All of the effort must be made by you.

  So what is the quickest, cheapest and best way? There is no quickest, cheapest and best way!

  Most Westerners fear the word or the concept of discipline. I have found it to be invaluable on the spiritual path—to be embraced rather than feared. Right Effort is allowing the truth to correct all errors in your mind. We cannot fail when we seek to reach the truth within us. So we embrace the idea of spiritual discipline, becoming like the wise disciples of the Buddha or Jesus. We do not run from the demands of our spiritual work. Rather we maturely embrace it and incorporate it into the moment-by-moment living of our lives.

  Remember that the Buddha said that all the effort must be made by you. The power of diligence is yours alone. Right Effort is always remembering purpose, goal, mission, self. When Right Effort is engaged, how can our illusions satisfy us? Right Effort is knowing that the only sacrifice is to give up what has no reality. We can learn to be free of suffering, as the Four Noble Truths promise, and Right Effort is vital to attaining that end.

  Living a life above the mundane, common human condition does take effort. It takes effort to choose the disciplined path. It takes effort to engage in one’s spiritual practice daily, hourly. It takes effort to forgive. It takes effort to meditate several hours—or even twenty minutes—each day. It takes effort to not water the unwholesome seeds of grievances, lack, ignorance, victimhood, criticism, judgment, defensiveness and selfishness. And it takes effort to only water the wholesome seeds of love, caring, compassion, generosity, happiness and kindness.

  Wise use of effort, diligence and care makes one aware of the basic nature of mind. Watering the wholesome seeds will always advance us on our spiritual path and lead us to living the noble life and revealing to us the true nature of mind.

  Right Effort constitutes our systematic progress toward our goal of liberation. Before we extend any effort, it is good to ask: Is this to my or another’s benefit? Is it a step leading to liberation, or is it going to lead to heartache, loss and suffering? Is it setting the course for nirvana or for samsara?

  This is a great cosmic weather vane to use to decide if you are putting your energy toward leading to your ultimate happiness or to your ultimate suffering. Many a well-intended soul has gotten lost in samsara, that all-pervasive yet sometimes alluring state of the illusion, the dream.

  I actually like the concept of samsara (the endless cycle of birth, life, death and rebirth) because it explains so much. And often it is quite helpful in making sense (at times) of just what the heck is going on. The advertisements of the world are constantly attempting to sell us on the splendor of samsara. Oh, how lovely this or that is, and how your life will be so much happier with the jewel of the moment. But, alas, it, too, will pass away. All the stuff of life could be called the samsara of life, for it does not lead to true joy but only future suffering.

  An example of samsara would be any of the myriad addictions folks cling to and are consumed by. The addictive substance initially holds out the promise of pleasure and happiness, a promise that can never be kept for long.

  All the allures of the world hold out a similar promise, but they, too, come up short. The tragic part is that we can sleepwalk through this life using all our effort, always seeking the elusive pot of gold and never finding it. And all the while the true treasure of gold lies within us, awaiting our realization and attention.

  Please put your Right Effort into that which will lead to your watering the seeds of awakening and liberation and not getting caught in samsara.

  I think of mindfulness as the most effective form of therapy and self-healing.

  —SOGYAL RINPOCHE

  RIGHT MINDFULNESS

  THE SIMPLEST DEFINITION of mindfulness for me is awakened attention. It is to be awake, aware, and to live as a conscious being. It also refers to deep meditation practice. When we embody mindfulness, our views are Right View, our thoughts are Right Thought, our speech is Right Speech, our action is Right Action, our livelihood is Right Livelihood, our effort is Right Effort, our concentration is Right Concentration.

  We must be mindful in order to live the Eight-fold Path, to live a noble life as a noble being. To be attentive to mindfulness is to be attentive to the Christ within us, the Buddha within us, the Holy Spirit within us.

  Right Mindfulness puts to the test the question: Is this helpful? This question I resonated toward upon first hearing it. It is like a reality barometer.• Is this gossiping conversation helpful?

  • Is this attitude helpful?

  • Is this prejudice helpful?

  • Is this fear helpful?

  • Is this anger helpful?

  • Is this guilt helpful?

  • Is this lackadaisical attitude helpful?

  • Is this long-held belief helpful?

  • Is holding family secrets helpful?

  • Is continuing to play the victim helpful?

  Once at a workshop where my role was as a support person, rather than a leader, a very unpleasant situation erupted.

  The participants were instructed to form a large circle around the room and to hold hands. One man refused to take the offered hand outstretched to him. When asked by the leader what was going on, the man’s bold response in front of about fifty people was that he would not touch the hand of a homosexual. There was an audible gasp in the room. I felt shivers run over me as the leader exclaimed, “What? What are you talking about?”

  The man, Oskar, raise
d in an Eastern European country, puffed himself up to defend his prejudice. “Bill said he is a homosexual, and I do not know where his hand has been, what it has touched.” The tension in the room was palpable.

  Bill quickly and consciously responded, “I’ll move.” And he did, but not because of the man’s prejudice, upside-down thinking or unskilled behavior. Bill did not take the event personally. I was very proud of Bill and the attitude he displayed. Oskar needed help to look at a long-held belief system that did not serve him. It was not helpful.

  A break soon followed in which I found Oskar, a former counselee of mine, pacing like a caged animal outside the workshop room. I asked if he wanted to talk about what had just happened inside. He immediately began to defend his position, and I tried to steer the conversation in a more “helpful” direction. I asked him to tell me about his experiences with gay men, and he replied that he had never known a gay man before. His comment made me stifle my laughter at its absurdity. “How is that possible?” I asked.

  Oskar replied, “There are no gay men in my country. Homosexuals are dirty, and I have always been taught that if I ever met one, I should have nothing to do with him.” I responded that, whether he knew it or not, he had met dozens if not hundreds of homosexual men in his life. They are not inherently dirty. And, yes, they do live in his country, most certainly closeted, but there nonetheless. Bill’s hand had not touched anything his own hand hadn’t touched. AIDS does not leap off the body of a homosexual, and Bill doesn’t have AIDS. I asked where his terribly misguided belief had arisen. He again defended his belief system, saying it was what he had always been taught.

  I recalled the song from the musical South Pacific that includes the line “We have to be taught to hate, carefully, carefully taught.” Throughout his life Oskar had been carefully, carefully taught to hate gays. Knowing his response in advance, I asked him if he had ever examined his belief system and explored if his rigid attitudes were beneficial to his life. “No,” he said. “Why should I? They are true. They are what I have been taught.”

  However, after a lengthy conversation, Oskar became willing to look at his programmed beliefs and to begin questioning their validity. I asked him to keep exploring the question “Is this helpful?” In a private appointment several days later Oskar began to admit that, no, this attitude was not helpful, kind, loving or who he wanted to be.

  Mindfulness is awakened attention. When we are mindful we notice everything. A very humorous personal story occurred at the Pilates studio I frequent three or four times a week. This is not a sangha where one goes to meditate and discuss philosophy with no regard for the body. It is a small space with its whole emphasis and reason for being focused on the physical.

  Before joining this studio I had gained a great deal of weight during a time of burning grief. From my normal size eight I had ballooned to a full twelve. So I began attending several times a week working with several personal trainers. All my sessions were private.

  After a year of gaining strength and muscle tone, I was ready to shed the excess baggage. And almost no one noticed when I did! Ten pounds. Okay. Not much difference, except to me. Twenty pounds. Nary a comment.Thirty, forty, fifty pounds. No comments. One coach did notice, and she and I made a game of wondering when one of the other trainers would notice. It took eight months! This was eight months of seeing me at least three times a week. If I had gone from 400 pounds to 350 pounds, I could understand. But I looked much, much smaller.

  Right Mindfulness is noticing what is going on right in front of our eyes and ears. We notice the presence, energy and essence of a loved one. How is she doing? How does she look—content, happy, sullen, blue? How does his voice sound? How is his speech—excited, flat, engaging, distant? When we are mindful, we not only notice, we care. A mindful person is an aware, caring, kind, loving person. They give conscious attention to others.

  I admire best-selling author Wayne Dyer and his mindfulness. My church has brought him to Cleveland a number of times. After each of his speaking engagements, he will stand for hours warmly greeting every one of his supporters. I have long noticed how he gives each person his total, undivided attention. Very impressive! Most mindful!

  We can all live mindfully as we make the effort to become more aware and awake to ourselves and others. Then it truly can be said that we are living a noble life. The first meditative practice I was taught was Mindfulness Meditation. When I look back at those thirty years, it is so amazing that I was given the teaching, since I didn’t know at the time its significance and life-altering effect on my future and continued relevance to this day.

  MINDFULNESS MEDITATION EXERCISE

  My initiation into meditation came with being taught how to relax the body, sit in a stable position and bring the fullness of attention upon the breath. One monitors the breath, being fully aware of the rising and falling of the chest with each breath.

  Begin breathing in mindfully.

  Breathing out mindfully. Silently say, I am aware of my breath.

  Say silently with each inhalation and exhalation: Breathing in. Breathing out.

  Do this very slowly and most mindfully, bringing your total awareness into what you are doing, observing each breath as it rises and falls. Silently say, Rising, falling, as you go deeper and deeper into the meditation with each passing minute.

  The Vietnamese Zen master teacher Thich Nhat Hanh uses the endearing term “mouth yoga” to help describe this mindfulness practice that brings one into the present moment.

  In, out.

  Deep, slow.

  Calm, ease.

  Smile, release.

  Present moment, wonderful moment.

  It is most precious to consider this technique as yoga for our mouths and lungs.

  Mindfulness meditation is just that—becoming fully mindful during one’s meditation. This technique is so simple and yet so powerful. Faithful, daily practice of it can change your life. I’ve done it for three decades and still simply love it and its effects on my mind, body and soul.

  Practicing Mindfulness Meditation brings our whole life and the other seven aspects of the wheel into balance. It supports Right View. It clarifies our thinking into Right Thinking. Right Action follows a time of sitting meditation. It leads us into our correct career, Right Livelihood. It makes all of our efforts rewarding through Right Effort. Right Mindfulness goes hand in hand with Right Concentration and deepens all of our spiritual practices.

  Don’t wait to begin to practice until you have the feeling it is time to do so. It may be too late. Sadly I have often witnessed this happen. Many people only turn to a spiritual practice and prayer when they are facing desperate circumstances. When the fifteen-year-old daughter is pregnant; when the husband is having affairs; when you are sick, tired, stressed, feeling empty inside; when you feel life has lost not only its luster but any meaning, and you feel overwhelmed. It may be too late.

  I believe the greater truth is that it is never too late for any of us. But the longer we remain disconnected in consciousness from our spiritual core, the more overwhelming the circumstances of our lives seem to us. They push upon us from all directions, and we can feel helpless, hopeless, void of any resources.

  But the good—no, great—news is that at any moment we can begin to live mindfully. We can wake up and take a life-affirming step in a positive direction. We can begin to utilize these extraordinary tools. These eight principles are unparalleled in the annals of spiritual philosophy and teaching.

  If we are mindful, we will never wait. And when a challenge arises, we are already prepared. We are not adrift upon a sea of discontent and discord. We are anchored to our spiritual core.

  There is an antidrug campaign slogan, “Parents, the antidrug.” I add to that, “Mindfulness, the antidrug.” If parents were truly mindful of their children’s spiritual well-being, activities, friends, school and teachers, transportation and just where they were, how could there be a drug problem?

  To varying degr
ees I have been part of hundreds of families’ lives. With the possible exception of an emotionally disturbed child or a child carrying an enormous load of negative karma, spiritually centered, emotionally healthy, loving and compassionate parents raise spiritually whole and healthy children. What children need is love and attention—not more techno toys, computers and TV time. To have healthy children, they must be the priority. The family must be the priority.

  Sara, a top stockbroker in Cleveland, is a neighbor of ours. She and her husband have five children, and they have miraculously managed to raise amazing kids. They are the type of children who love one another and seem to do everything they do in an exceptional fashion. I am in awe of this family.

  The children attend parochial schools and have all the usual extracurricular activities: music lessons, basketball, aerobics, baseball, chess, etc., etc. But the number one priority for this family remains the family.

  When Sara is asked by top clients to have an evening meeting, a dinner meeting, a Saturday meeting, she always graciously declines by saying, “I’m so sorry, but that’s my family time.”

  Sara often gets an astonished inquiry from a client. “Well, how often does your family have dinner together, given your busy lifestyle with so many varying schedules?”

  Her somewhat incredulous response, a favorite of mine, “Oh, we have dinner together every night.”

  Parents are the antidrug, the anchors of light and love for their children.

  Living mindfully is always beneficial to the entire household. When we are mindful we notice if our cat or dog is suffering, if our car needs attention, if the roof needs repair. Mindfulness is a very deep practice, but it is also a very practical practice.