The Dysfunctional Valentine

by Hadena James

  “What?” He asked.

  “You had better go vouch for them too, they have saved your mother’s life and your sister’s life.”

  “I will, but first we have to go to the station.”

  We loaded up into separate cars and headed to the station. Melina’s was still in pieces in the drive-way. I was pretty sure I was going to make Kenzie tell her that we couldn’t put it back together.

  Friday

  There were no Danes in my house. They were still being evaluated by animal control. The police had assured me that they wouldn’t be put down, but it would be a week or more before I got them back. This put Alex in an awkward position, she was supposed to care for the dogs while we were away and my house wouldn’t be fixed in a week. I wasn’t sure she wanted six Great Danes mucking about in her place. If she was really smart, she’d drag them to Sebastian’s, but I wasn’t going to suggest it.

  Workmen were flooding my house. They were doing temporary patch jobs on the doors and windows and bullet holes that had gone through the walls. My mother had me sequestered in my bedroom, bringing up food as need be.

  That was fine with me. I had Alex and Kenzie for company. I also had a TV and DVD player. Currently, Predators was playing and both girls were making comments about the amount of blood and the doctor was obviously a serial killer, why didn’t anyone else see that?

  They were also commenting that he was a wuss as far as serial killers went. Not a good example at all of what a real good serial killer could do. I was propped up on the bed, enjoying being pampered. The wax induced rash had gone down. It also no longer itched like hell.

  Lunch was brought in; the portion was even smaller than the day before. I had a single slice of cheese pizza with no sauce and the crust was some strange all-wheat based flat-bread. When my mother left, Alex and Kenzie shared their pot roast with brown gravy, mashed potatoes, corn and buttered rolls with me.

  “You know she told Ivan you were pregnant, right?” Alex asked.

  “I’m sure she did, she wasn’t all that convinced when I told her it was the Percocet making me toss my cookies,” I answered with a sigh.

  “The mother’s curse at work?” Kenzie asked.

  “Better not be or Zeke is not getting laid the entire time we are in Belize. I’m still not convinced we are doing the horizontal boogie anyway, worrying that my mother can induce me to get pregnant from another continent is not going to help.”

  “We can still run away, use Kenzie’s jet, head somewhere no one knows us, lay low for a couple of weeks,” Alex suggested.

  “They would track us down, especially our family. Spies and KGB officers and mobsters, they would find us and drag us back.”

  “That’s true,” Alex grinned.

  “I’m resigned. I’ll get married and go back to work. At least I’m getting a three week vacation in Belize out of it. I’ve always wanted to explore Mayan ruins.”

  “Yeah, it’s not so bad,” Kenzie said.

  “It could be worse, I could stay here with both our mothers.” There was a knock at the door.

  My Great Aunt Olga walked into the room. She sat down on the bed with a package in her hand.

  “Since I didn’t get to give it to you earlier, here you go,” she handed me the package.

  I carefully took off the wrapping paper. Inside was a beautiful piece of lingerie. I looked at her.

  “Wear it under your wedding dress, that way when you get home from the wedding, you can just strip down and start the honeymoon right.”

  “That would be a problem. My house is in shambles,” I pointed to the windows.

  “There’s something else in the box,” she pointed.

  I looked down and sure enough, there was reservation information for a very expensive hotel near the airport. I smiled at her.

  “We know how to do weddings,” Aunt Olga gave me a hug, then turned to Alex. “And when are you going to have that Sebastian creature make an honest woman out of you?”

  Alex spluttered and coughed.

  “That’s fine, while Nadine is on her honeymoon and we’ll set to work on him. Don’t you worry, Alexandra, you’ll be married by the end of next year,” with that ominous warning to Alex, Aunt Olga left.

  “Payback sucks,” I told Alex.

  “You told her about Sebastian?” She turned wide eyes to me.

  “Yep, if they are going to force me down the aisle while you giggle about my wedding, I’m going to return the favor,” I smiled.

  “God, you really do hate me.”

  “No dear, I love you, I’m doing what’s best for you,” I mimicked my best Melina voice. Kenzie giggled. Alex looked like she might cry. “Oh and speaking of what’s best for you, what did Sebastian say about the wedding dress?”

  “You sent him that?” She nearly yelled at me.

  “Yep, the opportunity was there, I took it,” I grinned at her.

  “He asked me if I was hinting about wanting to get married! He asked if that was what I planned to wear at the wedding!”

  “Well, it would hide a pregnancy,” I continued to grin.

  “Don’t even joke about shit like that,” Alex glared at me.

  Saturday

  I awoke to the ringing of my cell phone. The phone told me it was five minutes after midnight. It also showed it was Zeke calling. I flipped it open.

  “Do you have any idea what time it is?” I asked him.

  “Yes, but I wanted to wish you a happy Valentine’s Day and let you know that I will have to give you your present tomorrow.”

  “Valentine’s?” I had forgotten about it. Damn, I didn’t have a gift for him. Today would require some serious shopping. I didn’t have a clue what to get him.

  “Yes, Valentine’s. Happy Valentine’s Nadine, good night,” he hung up.

  “What was that about?” Alex yawned at me.

  “Zeke calling to wish me a happy Valentine’s. I forgot about it. I have to get him a present today. He got me one. He is giving it to me tomorrow.”

  “There isn’t time for shopping,” Kenzie rolled over in the bed and looked at me. “It’s your wedding day.”

  “Oh hell,” I closed my eyes.

  “You are giving him a Valentine’s present. You, him, married, Belize, with sexy lingerie, and toys that require batteries. There’s also beaches and jungles and Mayan ruins and nights of hot passionate newlywed sex. I’d say it’s a hell of a present,” Alex answered.

  “Isn’t it a cliché to get married on Valentine’s Day?” I asked.

  “Yes, but we knew if we did it on a holiday, like Valentine’s, you would never forget your anniversary,” Alex answered.

  That’s when the reality of the situation sank in. In thirteen hours, I would be getting married. In thirty one hours, I would board a plane for three weeks in Belize with my new husband. I took a deep breath and fainted.

  About the Author

  Hadena James began writing at the age of eight. As a teenager, she had several short stories published in literary magazines. She completed writing her first novel at the age of 17. Hadena graduated from the University of Missouri with a degree in European History with minors in German and Russian studies. She has always wanted to be a writer so she also took several classes in creative writing.

  Hadena’s primary literary genre is action/thriller. She currently writes two series, both use action/thriller. “The Brenna Strachan Series” uses fantasy and the “Dreams & Reality Series” uses murder mystery as its secondary genre. She continues to explore and expand her writing and hopes to soon produce a comedic action/thriller.

  When she isn’t busy writing or running her business, Hadena enjoys playing in a steel-tip dart league. She also loves to travel throughout North America and Europe. Her favorite cities are Chicago, Illinois and Berlin, Germany. She is an avid reader; reading everything from the classics like Jane Austen to modern writers like Terry Pratchett. One of her all-time favorite books is “Good Omens” by Neil Gaimen and Terry Pratchet
t. She writes all of her books while listening to music and the bands tend to get “honorable mentions” within the pages.

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