Z14 (Zombie Rules)

by Achord, David

  “I’ve been looking forward to this all day.” She said.

  “Me too. It started out as a good day, but kind of went sour.”

  “Yeah, they told me about it. I hope you’re not feeling guilty.” She said. I shrugged beside her. In fact, I was feeling guilty. It seemed like yet another needless death. I didn’t want to talk about it, so I changed the subject and told her about Kelly.

  “Andie has become quite protective.” She said.

  “Yeah, she cares about both of us. She still thinks you don’t like her.”

  “Oh, she’s okay I guess. I’m still getting used to her. Now, about Kelly, are you going to have a weak moment and do her?” Julie asked after a long moment of silence.

  “With the exception of kissing Andie, the only weak moments I’ve had in the past year and a half have all involved you. You seem to have a spell on me.” I replied. Julie snuggled closer to me.

  “Good.” She said smugly.

  Chapter 57 - Evolvement

  We got Fred’s new home built in a little over a month. The most time consuming part was driving around finding building materials, but we got it accomplished. Putting up a brick veneer over the plain concrete blocks, which Julie insisted on, took an extra week. The finished product was roughly a thousand square feet of the main living space, and a thousand square foot basement. The roof was metal, effectively making it almost impossible to set on fire.

  Fred was pleased. At least, I caught a slight tic under his right eye, which was a very telling clue.

  “I’ve got an idea, and am surprised I didn’t think of it sooner.” I said. Fred looked at me. “We should put some gutters on the eaves, and then fabricate them so they drain into barrels. We can collect rainwater.” Fred nodded.

  “We still have plenty of daylight.” Terry said. “Why don’t we run into town and see what we can find?” Fred and I agreed. I raised Julie on the radio, told her what we had in mind, and we took off.

  There was a Home Depot on Bell Road near I-24. We had only been there once, and although there had been a lot of looting, it was not totally empty. We drove up to one of the broken out front doors and gave a short toot on the horn. Only one came staggering out. He was so rotten he could barely walk. I used the twenty-two pistol on him.

  We got out of the truck and stretched while looking around. “Hey.” Terry said. He pointed down to the far end of the parking lot, over by an Italian restaurant I could never afford to eat in. There was another pair of zombies in the parking lot, slowly making its way toward us, or maybe just walking aimlessly.

  “Hey Fred, do you think you can shoot them from here with your pistols?” I asked. Terry cocked an eyebrow.

  “They’re what, a hundred yards away? There is no earthly way you can shoot them on a fast draw from this far away.” Terry said with a chortle.

  I looked at Fred and grinned. “The gauntlet has been thrown.” I teased.

  Fred grunted, walked away from the truck a few feet, and squared off like he was in a western movie. He drew with his right hand, fast as lightning, and fired two shots. He was walking back toward us reloading his pistol as they fell.

  “Boom, head shot.” He muttered as he walked by us.

  “Holy sheep shit.” Terry said, with his eyes wide. I couldn’t help but chuckle.

  We found a couple of barrels and some generic plastic gutters. They had a modular design where the individual pieces could be snapped together.

  “It’s not as fancy as custom made guttering.” I commented.

  “The only person worried about fanciness is Julie, and she’s not here.” Fred said. “Let’s load up.”

  We’d loaded up as much as we could and lashed it down tight. “We need anything else while we’re in this neck of the woods?” Fred asked.

  “You guys know where a maternity store is anywhere around here?” I asked. Terry laughed.

  “Is she outgrowing her clothes?” He asked.

  “Oh yeah, lately all she’s been wearing are sweatpants and my shirts.” I replied.

  “How far along is she?”

  “We think she conceived on Christmas Eve, so a few days shy of five months. Her belly’s growing, along with her breasts, which is not such a bad thing.” Terry laughed. Even Fred smiled a little bit.

  There was another Walmart nearby we had never explored. We drove over there and discovered a strip mall across the street from it with a couple of women’s clothing stores.

  “These little stores will be easier to clear. We can clear Walmart on another day.” I said as I drove into the parking lot. “Maybe something will be here Julie will like.” Fred grunted in agreement but suddenly straightened.

  “We might not get a chance.” He said. I looked around and spotted them in the parking lot of the Walmart. There were maybe one or two hundred. They spotted us about the time we spotted them.

  “Where the fuck do these things keep coming from?” I asked nobody in particular. I sighed. “Alright, let’s just get the hell out of here. We can load up with everyone later and come back.” Terry and Fred agreed. As we drove away, Terry gave a start.

  “What’s wrong with you?” Fred asked.

  “I swear to God I just saw one of them point at us!” He exclaimed with incredulity. He looked out of the back window as we drove away. I scoffed.

  “They do that, when they see you, they reach out as if they can grab you from a distance.” Terry shook his head at my analysis.

  “No dude, that thing pointed his index finger at us.” He said. “It was strange guys, very strange.” I saw Fred glance at me out of the corner of his eye.

  “Back in March, I think I saw one of them bend down and drink some water out of a puddle.” I told Fred.

  “Yeah, I remember that.” Terry said.

  “The clothes can wait. Let’s go home.” I doubled back down Murfreesboro Road and was about to turn west on Bell Road when Fred grabbed one of his pistols.

  “This day is turning out to be full of surprises.” He said. I looked down Murfreesboro Road. A black van was approaching.

  “It looks familiar.” I said. I heard Terry click the safety switch on his M4.

  “Are we running or standing?” He asked.

  I stopped the truck. “I’m in no mood to run, how about you guys?” Terry and Fred shook their heads. I jumped out with my assault rifle, chambered a round, and waited.

  “I got rear security.” Terry said, and jogged to the rear of the truck.

  The driver of the van spotted us, and stopped about a hundred yards away. Well within our range. After a minute, they approached slowly. I eventually recognized them. It was the two cops, Chet and whatever his name is. Chet was driving. He got close and then turned perpendicular to us before stopping. He stared at me a moment before rolling his window down.

  “Hello Chet.” I said amicably.

  “Hello Zach.” He replied. “What are you guys up to?” He asked.

  “Picking up some gutters for a house we’re building.” I replied. Chet frowned.

  “You’re building a house?” He asked.

  “It’s already built, we’re putting on some finishing touches.”

  “You’ve been busy.” He said.

  “Chet, you don’t know the half of it. We’ve planted over a dozen garden plots. We recently harvested some winter wheat, and I taught Corporal Alexander here how to plant sweet corn last month. I won’t even get started on the cattle we’ve rounded up. We’ve been busy as hell.”

  Chet looked at me in wonder, glanced over at his partner a moment, and stared at me again. “Are you bullshitting us?” He asked. Fred snorted.

  “Chet, we work hard. We’re building a life for ourselves. How about you guys, how are y’all doing?”

  “After you killed McElroy, my friends wanted to hunt you down and kill you.” He replied.

  “Why is that Chet? Because I chose to defend myself rather than let a bully hurt me?” I shook my head slowly. “I thought cops were proponents of j
ustice.”

  “You don’t understand, I told them exactly that. That’s why you’re still alive.” Chet said. He put the van in park and turned it off before speaking some more.

  “We’ve got a couple of garden plots going, but we haven’t been doing anything with cattle other than killing one when we’re out of steaks.”

  I nodded. “How are you processing your water?”

  “We filter it and boil it.” Chet replied. “How about you guys?”

  “A few of our homes have well water. We have filters and chemical treatment systems. Our radio station has no well, so we distill the drinking water.”

  He looked at me quizzically. “Y’all have a radio station?”

  I nodded. “Yep. It’s actually run by a group of women. They broadcast every day at noon.”

  “Women?” The passenger asked. Chet chuckled.

  “We’ve not seen any women in a while, so, forgive our interest.”

  “If you show up and behave like gentlemen, you’ll be welcome. If you act like bullies, much like the way you three acted the day we met you, you’ll be dead before you hit the ground.”

  “Fair enough.” Chet said, nodding his head.

  “Heads up, ladies!” Terry suddenly shouted. I didn’t take my eyes off of Chet and his partner. I watched as they looked toward the outbound lanes of Murfreesboro Road and their eyes widened.

  “Oh, shit!” Chet said, and he started the van. He looked back at me, and realized I’d never stopped staring at him. “There’s a shit load of them coming this way.”

  “Time to go then.” I said. “We’ll see you gentleman later, I suppose.” Chet nodded, made a U-turn, and sped away. Only then did I break eye contact with them and jumped in the truck.

  “Zach.” Terry said as I sped down Bell Road, avoiding cars and potholes with practiced expertise. “Those things were operating together, I’d swear to it.”

  “What do you mean?” Fred asked.

  “They were walking in a column of twos, and when they got close, they started spreading out. It was weird guys, it was kind of like a military maneuver.”

  I didn’t answer. There was a rough spot in the road where Bell Road crested a hill. I was wary of busting a tire and navigated carefully. I caught Fred looking at me.

  “What are you thinking, Zach?” He asked.

  “I have sort of a hypothesis.” I said after a minute.

  “I’d certainly like to hear it.” Fred said.

  “Okay, it goes like this. Last spring, I said these things would completely die out by the end of the summer. As we can see, a hell of a lot of them did in fact die, but not all of them. Why are there still zombies roaming around? Why are they not dead?”

  “Yep, good questions.” Terry commented.

  “So, here’s my hypothesis, some of them, the infected people, are evolving.” I said.

  Fred looked at me, perplexed. “How so?”

  “Think of it like this. When syphilis infected a person back a couple thousand years ago, the entire body was consumed by sores called chancres. The infected person suffered horribly and soon died. By the time the second millennium came around, the human body was able to resist the diseased to an extent. Oh, you’d still get chancres, go crazy and eventually die, but there was an element of resistance. The same goes for other illnesses.” I took a deep breath.

  “Now, apply it to this infection. We know nothing of it, hell, there’s probably nobody left alive who can say with authority what the fuck it is. It is very destructive to the human body and lethal, but my hypothesis is: some people are actually developing some type of resistance and their bodies are somehow starting to function again.” I took a deep breath. When I put it into words, the more I was convinced I was right. And it scared me.

  I repeated my hypothesis to everyone else after we had eaten supper. They listened in rapt attention as I listed out each clue. Andie pointed at me.

  “Is that why you cut open the zombie a while back?” She asked.

  I nodded. “Yeah, I was trying to figure out why it was still alive. His organs should have totally rotted away. Instead, they were still intact and even appeared to be functioning.”

  “That’s scary.” Kelly said worriedly.

  “Yeah, it is.” I said. “A while back, when the plague first appeared, some of the infected people were still able to run. I don’t know if these critters are able to run again or not, so don’t take them for granted. Always be aware of your surroundings and always be armed.”

  “That reminds me.” Julie said. “Mac came by earlier today. She was asking if you wanted a zombie pit dug around the house.” Then she grinned mischievously. “And she said she’d come by later tonight and pay you a visit, Fred. She said the two of you can christen the new house.” Everyone chuckled. Fred pointed his fork at her, but said nothing.

  “By the way Fred, you’ve never told us if of those people at Tinker were women.” Rowdy asked.

  “There were a few women.” Fred said.

  “Did you find a girlfriend?” Julie teased. Fred hung his head. Julie gasped. “Oh my God, you did find a girlfriend! Tell us about her.” It was a long moment before Fred spoke.

  “Her name was Sarah, she was an Air Force pilot. Very smart. Very feisty.” Fred pointed his fork again. “Like you.” Julie smiled.

  “Well, where the hell is she, Hoss?” Rowdy asked. “Why didn’t you bring her home with you?”

  “She refused to come.” Fred said quietly. “I suppose it was for the best. She was a bit high strung.” Fred wiped his mouth and looked at Joe. “Are you finished with dinner?” He asked. Joe wolfed down another bite and nodded. “Okay, we best be getting home. We have a full day tomorrow.” He looked at us. “We’ll be over for breakfast in the morning and help with the gardens.” They bid us goodnight and left.

  “Wow, he never said anything about a girlfriend.” I said after they left. Kelly helped me clear the dishes and began washing them.

  “It must have ended badly.” She opined. “I had a similar experience, right about the time everything went bad.”

  “What happened?” Julie asked.

  “I was engaged. One day, he gave me the speech about needing some space. I thought he only needed some time and he’d get his head clear. One Sunday he showed up to church with a new girlfriend.”

  “Ouch.” I said.

  “Yeah, I was devastated, especially when I found out it was the preacher’s daughter. So, I lost my future husband and my church, all at the same time. A co-worker invited me to go to her church, which was Wanda’s. The infection swept through and I was trapped with the group. It was a blessing at first, but then Wanda’s husband started getting more and more radical. He even claimed he was having visions from God.” She chortled. “Anyway, Wanda got us out of there. I never talked to any of them about the man who broke my heart, so I guess I can see why Fred never said anything either.”

  I nodded in understanding.

  “You haven’t been laid since then?” Andie asked. Terry tried to hide a grin.

  “No.” Kelly said wistfully. I nodded without responding verbally, and was about to add some commentary, but I caught Julie in my peripheral vision. She was looking at me for whatever reason. I excused myself, grabbed a lantern, and went into the basement. Julie came down a few minutes later.

  “What are you doing?” She asked.

  “Going through my note pads. I want to make sure I haven’t missed anything about these zombies. I’m going to put a list together and have Mac put out some kind of warning advisory on her daily radio broadcast.” I looked up at her standing over me and patted the floor beside me. She sat with a little awkwardness. It reminded me of Macie when she was pregnant. Julie picked up Andie’s journal and read a little of it.

  “She’s written quite a lot.” She commented. I agreed. “I have to admit, she has a nice writing style. Her spelling is as bad as mine, but it’s easy to read.”

  “What’s the rest of the gang doing
?” I asked.

  “I believe they’re sitting on the patio getting high.” She said.

  “Andie has turned Corporal Alexander into a stoner.” I said with a sigh. Julie chuckled.

  “Isn’t he worried about getting court martialed, or something?” Julie asked.

  “Nah, I don’t think they have the means to test for drugs anymore. Besides, he said he’s not going back. He seems to think he won’t be charged with desertion. His time of service was almost up when the plague hit.”

  “I hope he’s right.” Julie said. “Let’s go join them. We don’t socialize enough.”

  “Sure. But I don’t want you giving me a hard time when they start talking about sex, which you know they will.”

  Julie chuckled. “Help me up, stud muffin.” She held her hand out.

  Chapter 58 – Bath Water

  Rowdy and I sat on the tailgate of my truck at the Smyrna airport under a shade tree. The flies were terrible. We had our respective Boonie hats on with the mosquito netting, but it didn’t stop the little bastards from buzzing all around us.

  “Do you think they’ll show up today?” Rowdy asked.

  “I don’t know.” I replied. We had missed a few dates, and we had not seen Captain Steen and his soldiers since March. I looked at my watch.

  “It’s 12:30. They were always prompt before.” I said. “I guess we wait a little while longer.” Rowdy shrugged indifferently. I looked at him. “How’ve you been?” I asked nonchalantly.

  “Not too bad. I won’t try to tell you I’m straight and sober, but I’ve slowed down quite a lot. Needless to say, my bowels are very pleased.” He said with a grin. I nodded. “I wonder why there are no zombies around here.” Rowdy said. I shrugged. I didn’t know why either.

  “Did you and Cindy ever do it?” I asked, mostly out of boredom. Rowdy chuckled.

  “Oh hell yeah, we fucked like bunnies, but we had to do it in secret. She didn’t want her mother to know, and I didn’t want to hurt Andie’s feelings, so we had to sneak away to secluded spots before we could bump uglies.” Rowdy scratched his beard. “Yeah, we had some good times. I sure do miss her.” He then looked over at me.