by Naomi Thomas
My dad and I are very close and, while we don’t have a tactile sort of relationship, I know that my dad loves me with all his heart and he is similarly aware of how much I love him. They do say that you usually marry a man very much like your father, and Graham is similar to my dad in a lot of ways. Being given away by my dad meant the world to me, and as we began to walk I could sense just how proud he was to be there, as well as being happy to pass me into the capable hands of Graham! I could now feel everyone looking at me, and glimpsed so many happy, as well as tearful, faces as I made my way towards my husband-to-be. I had so far managed to hold everything together, even though I was very conscious that I was late; I just wanted to run the rest of the way to be with Graham. His best man, Ben, gave him the nod and Graham turned around. As soon as he saw me he started to falter a little and he licked his lip – a sure sign of emotion bubbling to the surface! At this point I looked up to the sky and said a little prayer, thanking God that I was still alive and finally marrying the man of my dreams. I felt so lucky that I could literally have burst. Thankfully I had thought ahead, stuffing a tissue down the top of my dress before we’d left the room; when we finally made it to the front of the Orangery, it was soon out for a quick dab of my eyes!
We had chosen three very special people: my aunty Sue, Devon’s godmother Chris, and our friend Zulieka, to do some readings for us. They all read with such clarity and emotion that it was all I could manage not to burst into tears again. Graham and I had written our own vows, neither knowing what the other was about to say. As we spoke I know we truly meant every single word. We managed a few peeks at our guests and could both see how moved they were too; I’d even spotted a few men wiping away the tears! When we were finally pronounced husband and wife the room erupted into cheers and applause. We had made it, against all odds, and were now married – as well as being a united front of Mummy and Daddy. Although cancer was still very much a part of our lives, we felt like the luckiest people in the whole world to have what we had.
As Graham and I left the Orangery we had a few moments to ourselves before heading out to greet our guests, who were waiting with confetti poised. Once again a huge cheer broke out as we made our way through the dried petals to the drinks reception, which was held on the lawns of St Audries. The sun came out just long enough for us to have some wonderful photos taken as memories of our special day. In addition to the drink there was an ice-cream cart, tasty canapés, a caricature artist, and lawn games for the children, including an egg-and-spoon race, croquet and sack races. There was even a team of nannies to watch over the little ones so that we could enjoy ourselves without the worry; Sam had thought of everything. The cocktails were served on trays, with mini cream teas presented on slate. By now the string quartet had joined us in the garden and was playing modern music, such as Lady Gaga – I have never heard her songs played in such a way before!
It wasn’t long before we were called in for the wedding breakfast, which was served in a gorgeous room bedecked with artificial flowers, birdcages and displays of gold peonies. Each place setting had a gold-coloured charger plate, a handmade pearl napkin ring, and either a lottery scratch card or chocolate favour. Children had colouring books and pencils too; being a wedding planner, I am often worried that the finished product won’t meet my expectations, but Sam’s efforts had completely floored them. Taking centre stage was the stunning four-tiered wedding cake, which was decorated with lace, brooches and pale pink roses to match my dress and bouquet. It was breathtaking.
Before we knew it, it was time for the speeches. Both Graham and I wanted to say a few words. I was desperate to publicly thank everybody who had come together to make our day so special, and to tell Sam how much we appreciated her love and generosity. Of course I blubbed my way through the whole thing – it’s a wonder anyone heard any of it! Sam blew me a kiss from where she sat, and I was relieved that she’d heard how much she meant to us.
The revelries went on into the night, with a guitarist and singer who I’d met at a charity function playing some great acoustic numbers. This was followed by a disco and casino; great fun! Our first dance was our final official duty of the day, and we waltzed around the floor to an emotional Alicia Keys song, before taking things up a notch and dancing to Temper Trap. Devon had also joined us for a boogie by this point! By 10pm I was absolutely pooped. My dress was so heavy that it was causing a cramping sensation in my abdominal muscles, and I was severely flagging. I went up to our room to get changed, briefly returning to the party to say my goodnights. I think people were shocked to see me leaving so soon, but I knew that if I had pushed myself any harder I would regret it for weeks. I could hear the party continuing downstairs long after I’d made my way up to our room, but I didn’t mind at all. In fact I was so pleased that everyone was enjoying themselves, and was just so happy to have married Graham.
Chapter Sixteen
Most brides soon plummet back to reality with a big bump after their wedding day, but not me; we still had so much to look forward to. An old school friend of Graham’s had offered us some time in her log cabin on the outskirts of Exeter and, although it wasn’t very far from home or the city, it was so rural that it felt a million miles from civilisation. With a gorgeous view over a fishing lake, as well as a hot tub, it was just what we needed to unwind.
It was Graham’s birthday while we were staying in the log cabin and I had secretly arranged for my parents, Graham’s mum and his grandma to come over for afternoon tea. They crept up to the door and rang the bell. Graham was very confused as to whom it might be, but was so chuffed to see his family there to share his special day. We spent his birthday enjoying the hot tub and drinking bubbly!
Our time at the log cabin soon passed and, after spending a few short days at home, we were jetting off for our week-long holiday in Egypt, which had been donated to us by a wonderful Exeter-based charity, Dream-a-Way. Waking up at the Sensatori Resort in Egypt the next morning was amazing. Opening our curtains was an adventure in itself; our room overlooked the ocean, and the view was magnificent. There were several swimming pools, including one especially for children with slides, and an infinity pool with jets; I was in heaven!
I celebrated my 30th birthday in Egypt and spent the day swimming with dolphins. Upon returning to the hotel room, we found that the staff had decorated the bed with towel sculptures, flower petals and a big cake, as well as all of the birthday cards that I had opened that morning from people at home. It was a birthday to remember, and the dolphins were yet another item ticked off my ‘bucket list’!
In no time at all our week in Egypt was over and we were back to reality with a bump, with my treatment booked in the following day. I have to have three-weekly treatments of Herceptin and Zometa, which has essentially put my body into the menopause so that my cancer has no oestrogen to feed from, while also strengthening my bones. Luckily I am now able to have treatment at home, rather than making regular trips to the hospital, and I was sitting on the sofa with the needle embedded in my chest when Graham brought me the morning’s post.
One envelope stood out. It was addressed to ‘The Wedding Wishing Well Foundation’. As I opened the letter and pulled out the wedge of paper inside, I saw that it was one of our application forms. I started reading immediately. The letter had come from a lady called Emma, who had secondary breast cancer just like me. Her cancer had spread to her bones initially, but was now in her brain too. Her words hit a nerve with me immediately and I could feel tears in my eyes. I always take my own illness with a pinch of salt, but it made me so sad to hear that someone was suffering so much. I knew that this time would come for me too, but I hadn’t been prepared for it at all.
Seconds later, I’d decided that I needed to help this couple to marry before it was too late, although I knew we’d have a tight budget as the charity was still in its infancy. Emma and her fiancé Steve were from Derbyshire and wanted to marry in an intimate ceremony at Caerlaverock Castle in Scotland, with a party for f
riends back in their home town a week later. This meant that certain items, such as wedding cakes, would need to be duplicated and it would take a lot of travelling just before Christmas. However, we had four months to plan and I was drawn to help this very special couple.
Within days I had contacted the couple and told them that The Wedding Wishing Well Foundation would help them. I got to work straight away and contacted the various venues, as well as ringing cake makers, photographers, pipers, hair and make-up artists, and other suppliers to see if they could (and would) donate their time for the couple. So many people said ‘yes’ that within those four months we were almost ready to go.
Graham had decided to come with me for this first wedding, making sure I had plenty of help with the driving and lugging around of heavy items! Although I was still capable of driving, lengthy car journeys take their toll quite quickly. Devon, of course, came too, and we hoped that we’d have the opportunity to see a little of Scotland while we were there. The drive up to Scotland was stunning in itself. There had been a fair bit of snow in the Lake District and, as we drove past, the mountains were absolutely covered; the scenery was incredible. Sights like that always make me feel lucky to be alive, as simple as that sounds.
I was nervous about the charity’s first wedding but, with my previous wedding planning experience, knew that I was capable of pulling it off. I was just so desperate for the day to be the best of Emma and Steve’s lives, just as mine and Graham’s had been six months before. On the morning of the wedding I got ready and quickly dashed to the venue to make sure that Emma was there, and that her hair and make-up artists had arrived on time. It was good to see her excited, although she looked nervous too. I then went downstairs to oversee the delivery of the cake, decorations and flowers. Before long it was time for me to whizz off to the castle itself, helping to set everything up prior to the guests’ arrival. Caerlaverock Castle, with its deep moat, is absolutely stunning from the front, although the back is now in ruins. That morning the wind was sweeping through the castle’s walls, making it bitterly cold. I set up a few tea lights and little tots of whisky, which were sure to warm the guests, as well as some ginger for anyone who wanted some. We also had bubbles, rather than confetti, which were going to look beautiful.
Once everything was set up I made my way across the castle’s bridge to greet the piper and wait for the bridal car. The groom arrived on time with the couple’s dog, a little ribbon tied on his collar. As Emma’s car finally pulled in, it dawned on me just how far The Wedding Wishing Well Foundation had come in 11 short months. Without the charity’s help it was unlikely that Emma and Steve would have been able to marry at all, or at least on the scale that we had achieved; it really was a dream day. Emma, looking absolutely stunning, got out of the car and walked into the castle with her father by her side. As she made her way down the makeshift aisle tears prickled in my eyes; I couldn’t help but be reminded of my own special day and what it had meant to Graham and me. As we’d not been able to find a videographer I filmed the ceremony myself with shaky hands – another skill to add to my CV!
As with all weddings, the day passed by in a blur. The next morning I made my way between the venues to pack everything away, as well as going to say ‘goodbye’ to the new Mr and Mrs Oakey. They were filled with thanks and praise for everything we’d achieved for them, although the fun wasn’t over yet; we still had their party in Derbyshire to go.
Later that week I was on the move again, and travelled up to Derbyshire to set up a lovely reception for Emma and Steve at a local tourist attraction called Conkers. The venue’s event planner, Joy, was absolutely amazing and helped me to set everything up and make the evening as special as she could. It’s always lovely to meet people who share my passion.
Once again the revelries were soon over and it was time to say goodbye to Steve and Emma, which was so hard. We had been in daily contact for six months and now our involvement in their lives, and theirs in mine, was over. It was time to move on to the charity’s next project. Thankfully many of our couples keep in touch beyond the wedding day, although, when working with people affected by terminal illness, the inevitable will happen and is not always far away.
Chapter Seventeen
Just before Christmas I received a phone call from the editor of Wedding Ideas magazine. She told me that I had been nominated for their Bride of the Year Award, and that I was one of the finalists. I couldn’t quite believe what I was hearing! As the phone had rung, I’d just been about to whizz out of the door and go to the local garden centre. However, I was now being asked to pop in to see the staff of the magazine and, as their offices were just six miles away from our home, I agreed to visit them as we drove past.
Arriving at the Wedding Ideas magazine offices, it occurred to me that we should have got changed before leaping into the car; waiting for us was a camera, which was ready to film a short video that would be shown on the evening of the awards. We both felt a little silly in our gardening clothes, but the staff members were so friendly and welcoming that we put our fears to one side and chatted about The Wedding Wishing Well Foundation, my health, and Graham’s feelings about what I do.
After the interview Rachel, the magazine’s editor, told us that the awards ceremony would be held after Christmas at the Tower Hotel in London. This was going to be my first time attending an event of this magnitude and I was so excited. Rachel revealed that I had been nominated by many of the suppliers who had put our wedding together. It was lovely to know that all of those people had taken the time to vote for me, and I was yet again pleasantly surprised by the warmth of relative strangers.
The Wedding Ideas Awards is an annual event that honours a number of bridal categories, including dress designer, photographer, venue, and more. Even if I didn’t win, the evening would be a fantastic opportunity for networking and meeting new contacts. It was an enormous privilege just to have been nominated. Rachel ended our meeting by saying that she’d arrange for me to try on a few dresses by designers that were connected with the magazine, as well as organising for me to have my hair and make-up done on the evening. This was going to be an amazing evening – I could just feel it.
Later that week I received another phone call, this time to say that I’d been nominated for the Real People and Mecca Bingo Community Champions Award for their Caring Person category. I was told that I’d won that particular category and that I’d need to go to London for the overall awards ceremony, where all finalists were to be gathered to decide upon an eventual winner. Winning the Caring Person category meant that I would automatically receive a prize of £1,000, which was going to be a huge help to the charity. It turned out that both awards ceremonies were within days of each other, so Graham and I decided to book a hotel in London for the long weekend.
The night of the Wedding Ideas Awards arrived and we made our way into the reception of the Tower Hotel. Tower Bridge was illuminated and it looked incredible. Graham and I were soon caught up in lots of hustle and bustle outside. We were worried at first that we were in the wrong place, but soon came to realise that the flashing bulbs of photographers’ cameras were for us! As we sashayed down the red carpet with other guests we felt like real celebrities, with the ‘paparazzi’ shouting for our attention.
Once we got inside the room was absolutely electric, with magicians, Vodka luges and photographers everywhere. I’d had my hair and make-up done and felt a million dollars, while Graham looked as gorgeous as ever in his tuxedo. After a short while we were called to dinner, entering the biggest room I’d ever seen, which was filled with over 300 people. There was a massive stage, with a huge screen and moody pink lighting to match the flowers, chair covers and sashes; I knew this was where the prizes would be awarded, and the nerves kicked in a little.
Following a delicious meal the awards ceremony soon began. I knew that the last award would be the Bride of the Year, and glanced around the room trying to fathom who I was up against. The prizes started rolling out; St Au
dries Park won best venue, while Maggie Sottero won the award for bridal wear. The other awards whizzed past, until it was time for the Bride of the Year. Rachel stepped up to the microphone and began to talk about the award, outlining the qualities of the winning bride. For a moment I was convinced it sounded like she was talking about me, but it wasn’t until our video (complete with gardening clobber) flashed up on the big screen that I knew for sure. I’d won. I was absolutely gobsmacked and felt Graham squeezing my hand tightly. Finally my name was called, and it flashed up on the screen in giant letters. Shaking, I made my way to the stage, helped up the steps by the toastmaster. Rachel gave me a huge hug and kiss, and I was given a bunch of flowers and the award.
It was a huge moment for me. Thankfully I’d prepared a speech on the off chance, which had been shoved in my bag so that I wouldn’t fumble my words and waste the opportunity. For the first time in my life I managed to hold everything together and speak to a room full of people, never once letting my voice falter. As I peeped over my bit of paper I could see men and women in the audience crying, although the room was so quiet and still that you could have heard a pin drop. I finished my speech by dedicating the award to Devon; he was, and still is, my reason for breathing and the very inspiration behind my fight.
I returned to my seat to a standing ovation and a round of applause. As the awards came to an end I felt a tap on my shoulder. The owner of a bridal wear shop introduced himself, handing me his business card and saying that he wanted to help The Wedding Wishing Well Foundation in any way possible. I sat open-mouthed for a few moments until I felt another tap, again someone wanting to help. This carried on for about 20 minutes as people literally queued up on either side of me, waiting their turn to offer assistance. I got some truly amazing offers that evening. Of course, some ended in nothing, but many have become fantastic supporters of the charity, including Maggie Sottero. To have such a renowned manufacturer on board has been truly wonderful.
