by Naomi Thomas
As the charity grew, I knew it was time to move out of my home office and into somewhere where I could really focus on The Wedding Wishing Well Foundation. As soon as we got back to Somerset I began to search for a new office. Within a few weeks, and with a lot of blood, sweat and tears (mainly from Graham), I moved into the new premises, and finally the charity could breathe and grow. The emails started coming in at a huge rate of knots, and the phone was ringing constantly. The Wedding Wishing Well Foundation was about to become bigger than I ever could have envisaged.
Chapter Eighteen
Although small donations had been coming in over the last few months, it was time to hold a fundraiser that would bring in a more significant amount; enough to cover a wedding, perhaps! It was also time we celebrated the work that some of our volunteers had achieved over the last year or so, as well as taking the opportunity to launch the charity officially. A Masquerade Ball seemed like the perfect way to do all of these.
The Wedding Wishing Well Foundation was lucky enough to be given the use of a beautiful venue, Somerset Woodlands Castle, in which to hold the ball, while the catering was offered to us for a reduced fee. We were also given some fabulous decorations and, in no time at all, the evening of the ball was upon us. We had an absolutely brilliant night, including entertainment provided by the Singing Waiters, who went down a storm! The best part of the night, though, was the outstanding total of £3,234, which was raised by those in attendance. The Masquerade Ball had also gone a long way towards raising our profile in the local area; no one could say they hadn’t heard of us after that! We gave out two awards that evening – the Volunteer of the Year Award, and the Going the Extra Mile Award, which were presented to two deserving volunteers. It was lovely to be able to give my team the recognition that they deserved.
In March we were approached by an agency in Birmingham that was helping a gentleman who had been given very little time left to live. He was desperate to marry his girlfriend and we quickly agreed to help him, even though we had just eight days in which to pull it all together. This would be our greatest race against time yet, but I was determined that we’d make it happen. In just six days we’d organised everything we needed; I was so proud that we’d achieved the seemingly impossible. The doctors were really concerned that Stephen, the groom, wouldn’t live to see his wedding, but, against all odds, he made it, and he and his bride Chris enjoyed their dream day. Even though our weddings are essentially for the couple, the day has a real impact on their family and friends too. It is perhaps the first time for a long time, and maybe even the last time, that they see their loved one smile, and it means so much that we can be a part of making these memories. These are special moments that the couple and their family can hold on to, even in their darkest days. Marriage is something that can never be taken away from them.
Before my diagnosis I’d have laughed at you if you had said I would soon be standing up in front of hundreds of people to give a speech, but now it comes so naturally. I’d even go so far as to say I enjoy it; after all, by talking about my cancer and the daily struggles it brings, perhaps I can make someone else’s experiences with their illness more positive, or even save a life one day. I try and use social media as much as possible, and frequently post to the charity’s Facebook page to encourage young women to check their breasts. I know better than some how breast cancer can affect young women who may never have considered it a possibility. One day I received an email to say that, because of my most recent post, a lady had checked herself and found a lump. Luckily it turned out to be nothing, but she confessed that without my post she might never have discovered it. Stories like this really do make everything worthwhile.
As well as running The Wedding Wishing Well Foundation I also do a fair amount of work for Breast Cancer Care and a charity called Bosom Buddies, which offers funding for ‘buddies’ – ladies who have had breast cancer who then go into schools to talk to young women about the disease. I am so passionate about raising awareness of breast cancer, and believe that these young people should be able to recognise signs of the disease and seek treatment as soon as possible. The ultimate dream would be to ensure that most cancers could be found in time to treat them effectively, as so often timing is a huge factor in whether someone survives or not. I was truly honoured to be asked to speak at The Karen Trust Lily Ball. The charity had helped to fund our wedding, so I was thrilled to be able to speak and encourage people to donate to their cause. I was presented with a bunch of flowers afterwards, and even got to meet Ian Wright! The perks of the job, eh?!
In April we helped a lovely couple from Birmingham who wanted to marry in East Sussex. The groom had advanced testicular cancer, and when I met them, Peter was so sick he was sleeping in a put-up bed in their front room. I could see the pain in his eyes and hoped that giving him a wedding to focus on would help him through the treatment that lay ahead. The bride, Charlotte, was studying to be a midwife, while Peter had been reading law at university. They should have been leading carefree lives, planning their future together with many years ahead of them. Instead they were dealing with this reality at such a young age; it was heartbreaking. Peter and his family were particularly keen on steam trains, so the wedding needed to have a vintage theme throughout. We had even arranged for them to have some photos with a steam train at the local train station afterwards. As always, I shed several tears during the vows, and then hurried away to busy myself so that I didn’t blub too loudly. Once again, it was a huge honour to be able to help such a lovely couple, although I always wished that it could be under different circumstances.
It was around this time that Johnsons Dry Cleaners, a fantastic corporate supporter of the charity, launched a Wedding Dress Amnesty in our honour. Each branch of the cleaners accepted donations of wedding dresses, suits, bridesmaids’ outfits, fancy frocks and outfits, shoes, jewellery and accessories, which could then be cleaned and passed on to the charity. The volunteers and I would then be able to pass items on to our couples, or sell them to raise further funds for the charity – it was a brilliant idea, ensuring that members of the public from across the country had somewhere to take their precious wedding garments. The amnesty was originally supposed to span the month of June, but is still going strong today; it really heartens me to know that so many brides are happy to part with their treasured dresses so that another couple may be able to experience the joy of a wedding day.
As part of the amnesty I was invited onto Sky News to talk about it. Walking into that huge building in London was such a surreal experience – my first turn as a television star! The presenters, Stephen Dixon and Gillian Joseph, were lovely and really put me at ease. There was no time for me to be nervous, as I was dragged out of hair and make-up and onto the set before the artists had even had the chance to begin working. While the studio was full of cameras, none of them were manned, and so it was easy to forget they were even there. It felt a little like chatting to friends on the sofa in my living room. Following the recording of my piece, Devon was invited on set and everyone made a huge fuss of him, even letting him take a spin in the presenters’ chairs.
Later that year, during the summer, I received the upsetting news that Emma, the charity’s very first bride, had passed away. I was incredibly proud that we’d been able to give her and Steve just over eight months of married life together; I knew that it had meant so much to the couple and their families.
The weddings and hundreds of applications kept coming. There were many wonderful opportunities coming my way too, including trips to my local radio station Tone FM, and I always try to do as much as possible. This often spreads me very thin and I’m always conscious that sometimes Graham and Devon may feel neglected. I try and take them with me as much as I can so that they can experience these wonderful things with me. I see every occasion as a new memory for Devon to hold onto when I’m no longer around, and am so grateful that we get to experience so much together.
In October 2013 I was selected to be on
e of the models for the Breast Cancer Care Annual Fashion Show. The audience comprised family and friends, sponsors, and celebrities such as Denise Lewis, Gloria Hunniford, Nina Wadia, Cherie Blair and Edith Bowman. I was one of 22 men and women who made their way down the catwalk that day, each of us having been diagnosed with breast cancer during our lives. We all had body hang-ups too, whether it was increased weight caused by medication, or the scars that had been accumulated during numerous surgeries. When we met, though, we all had cancer in common and bonded straight away.
Sadly, one of the models, Sally, passed away before the Fashion Show, and another, Claire, has since died. Having cancer, and being a part of this world, means that death becomes part of the process; it’s all around. One thing I have noticed about those of us diagnosed with these diseases is that we all live life to the full, as if our illnesses have given us a new lease of life. I have realised how lucky I am to wake up each morning and enjoy a blue sky, or hear a dawn chorus. Walking out in front of all those people during the Fashion Show was liberating, as well as emotional, and I now have a tight group of friends whom I could call upon to cry, or rant, with. We will be friends for ever.
I have been extraordinarily lucky in that all of my friends have always been very supportive. I have a small group of very close female friends who I would trust with my life. We spend as much time together as possible, as none of us knows when it might be the last time, and we are always careful to say ‘I love you’ to one other. Sometimes those three words aren’t said enough. I know that one day my cancer will spread and it will affect my mobility even further, or mean that I cannot get out to do so many of the things that I enjoy now. I take each day as it comes, making the most of every moment.
Towards the end of 2013 I had a surprise phone call from someone at the Daily Mail. I was in for a shock; I was informed that Breast Cancer Care had nominated me for the paper’s annual Inspirational Woman of the Year Award. It was wonderful to have been nominated by such an incredible charity and I was chuffed to bits that my name had come to mind. The paper’s representative told me that I was one of the award’s finalists, and that I had been invited to London for the ceremony, as well as an afternoon tea with Samantha Cameron at Downing Street. I was gobsmacked and must have looked like a goldfish! Going to Number 10 was one of the many things on my ‘bucket list’, and here I was about to tick it off! Graham, my parents, and representatives from Breast Cancer Care and Johnsons Dry Cleaners were all going to be filmed talking about me and The Wedding Wishing Well Foundation, and the video was to be used by the judging panel to help them make their decision.
Graham and I were given an expenses-paid trip to London, travelling up by train – a special treat in itself! We arrived at a gorgeous hotel in central London and were due to meet the other finalists and representatives from the Daily Mail in its conference room for lunch, before getting changed into outfits that had been donated by Jacques Vert especially for the occasion. It was lovely, and very humbling, to meet the other finalists; each one of them had the most extraordinary tale to tell.
As we drove towards Downing Street we all looked at each other with excitement. We were soon at the famous gates, and jumped out to be met by security. Soon we were standing at the big black door. It was the most surreal moment of my life. The door opened and we were all shown into one of the many rooms at the back of the building, where Samantha Cameron was waiting for us. She is absolutely beautiful in real life, and even taller than she appears in the media. She showed such a genuine interest in what we had to say. Another surprise then walked into the room – it was Bruce Forsyth, who was also utterly charming. The finalists and I had several photos taken with both Mrs Cameron and Bruce, as a photo of the winner would be used in the newspaper the following day. After the photoshoot we were all given a little tour around the building, which was fascinating. One of the PAs there said what a shame it was that Graham and Devon hadn’t been able to come along too, and I explained how gutted my husband had been. She handed over her business card and insisted that I contact her to arrange another visit, this time with my boys in tow, when the famous Christmas tree was up. Graham was thrilled to hear about the visit to Downing Street, and I promised him we’d organise it soon.
As soon as we were ready we headed down the hotel’s function room for the awards ceremony. Everywhere I turned there were famous faces that I recognised from the television, including Michael Buerk, Christopher Biggins, Bruce Forsyth again, Sian Williams, and even the members of Bananarama; I was in star-spotter’s heaven! As we sat and watched, each of the finalists’ videos was shown in turn. I saw each person’s story come to life upon the big screen and it dawned on me just how hard the judging process must have been; it was far too difficult for me to pick a winner, everyone seemed so deserving. Following each video, we were called onto the stage to receive our finalist’s award. Mine was presented just after I’d watched a clip of my dad talking about his pride for me, so, as usual, I was in tears by the time I reached the stage.
The final video had been shown, and the last finalist’s award given; this was it. There was a big drum roll and I heard the words, ‘and the winner is …’ The room was so silent, and you could literally feel the anticipation. What followed was a pause that seemed to last a lifetime, although it must have been only a few seconds.
‘… Naomi Thomas!’
Had they really just said my name? They couldn’t have! My head was in my hands as the reality dawned. It really was me. I had won!
Chapter Nineteen
The prize for winning the Daily Mail’s Inspirational Woman of the Year award was £5,000 to spend on a holiday. It was just what we needed as a family, and I was really looking forward to taking time out to spend with my boys. We decided to divide the money into two holidays: one week in Goa, India, and a two-week break to Egypt, where we’d been for our honeymoon. My parents and I have been going to Goa for years and we have family friends who live there. I couldn’t wait to take my husband and son to meet them for the first time. It would also be my dad’s 65th birthday while we were there; it had been five years since my last trip, before my diagnosis.
In January the charity put together its best wedding so far; I was so proud to have been a part of that amazing day. As well as terminally ill people we also help those with life-limiting illnesses, and one application had caught my eye. It was from a couple in Essex who had three children. The groom had Huntingdon’s Disease, and it was heartbreaking to read about the difficult few years that they’d had. I read up on the disease after getting their letter and realised just how horrible the prognosis is for sufferers. While their life expectancy is much longer than that of many of our applicants, their quality of life deteriorates very rapidly. It was just as important for this couple to get married as it was for someone who had less time; for the groom to be able to walk down the aisle unaided was as good a reason as any as far as I was concerned.
I went to meet the couple in Essex and it felt so good to be able to tell them that we could help. We worked for several months to put together their dream wedding day. It meant three days away from home and my boys, but I knew that it would be worth it. As I stood at the back of the room, watching the bride, Emma, walk down the aisle, I was yet again in tears. The couple looked so in love and, as childhood sweethearts, I knew just how much it meant to them to be standing there taking their vows. Jason, the groom, was bowled over by his bride and shone with pride throughout the day. We had achieved a truly spectacular day for the couple, from the confetti and dress, to a children’s entertainer, and gorgeous bouquet. The charity’s volunteers and I pride ourselves in being able to put on fairytale weddings for our couples. Despite the change in circumstance we found that suppliers were just as willing to donate their time and services.
We recently organised our second wedding for a couple affected by Huntingdon’s Disease. Again, they were such a deserving couple, and I was desperate for the wedding to be truly amazing for them. We pull
ed it off with great aplomb, and I sincerely hope that we can keep upping the game as far as our weddings are concerned.
In February it was once again time for us to celebrate the dedication of our volunteers, as well as the achievements of local wedding suppliers. The Bristol and Somerset Wedding Awards was the first ever awards ceremony to celebrate the talents of suppliers in my locality, and we combined the event with The Wedding Wishing Well Foundation Appreciation Awards to create something truly spectacular, perhaps even our best to date. I was blown away by the elegance of the venue, the dedication of the volunteers and the sheer generosity of those in attendance; on the night itself we raised over £1,200 for the Foundation. I was also immensely proud to see the turn-out. The Wedding Wishing Well Foundation was barely two years old and yet we were touching so many people.
That night we handed out several awards to our own volunteers, as well as a host of trophies in just about every category you can think of. The awards were such a success that 2015’s ceremony is also on the cards; watch this space!
And so to the present day.
My latest MRI scan revealed that my cancer remains stable, although I know that this won’t always be the case. One day it will spread, and when that happens it will be very difficult to say how long I have left. I make sure that every day counts, putting everything that I have into my family and The Wedding Wishing Well Foundation – I need to know that I have left lasting happy memories for my son; a way for him to remember me when I am gone. It also reassures me to know that I have done everything I can to help brides and grooms in my situation. Marrying my soul mate has meant everything to me – why shouldn’t everyone else be afforded that right?
