Daniel's Story

by Paul Kelly

  Rosie started to cry when Alison said that and there were hugs all round.

  "Don't cry, Rosie. He's not worth it, but I know it's no use telling you that. I was in love with him myself ONCE, but that seems ages ago and I never want to think of him ever again."

  Rosie dried her eyes and stroked her 'bump' with reservations.

  "I wish I had never ever fallen in love with him Alison. I really, really do, but love is something you can't help, is it?"

  Alison brought a picture of Daniel to mind when Rosie said that.

  "No, I don't suppose you can," she replied. "I'm off to finish my shopping now, unless there's anything else you want to talk to me about."

  Rosie smiled weakly and shook her head.

  "I'm alright Alison. I'll get better as time goes by when I get a better idea of what Ken wants to do ... for both of us ... ."

  Chapter Twenty

  Alison put her fingers to her lips as she listened to the telephone call.

  "Who is that speaking, please?" she enquired and waited for someone to speak. "Hello, hello, Can you hear me she asked again and there was a low muttering sound on the other end of the line. "I'm sorry, I can't hear what you're saying." she concluded and put the phone down intending to check the 1471 number.

  To her surprise the telephone number was Daniel's and she rang back immediately.

  "Hello ... Hello, Oh! is that you Daniel?"

  A little voice spoke up at the end of the line.

  "No, Alison. It's me, Dillon. Daddy isn't very well at the moment and he's been trying to phone you."

  "What's the matter with daddy? Can I speak to him Dillon?"

  "Daddy has told me to tell you that he is O.K. but that ... wait a minute, I don't know what he's telling me.".

  There was a silence for a moment before Dillon returned to the phone again.

  "Alison, I know what it is. Daddy's voice goes funny sometimes and he can't speak as well as he'd like to. It's something to do with his condition."

  Alison became alarmed when Dillon told her the problem and she looked around her, wondering what on earth she could do to help.

  "Dillon, Dillon darling, I'm coming over to see you and daddy now. I'll give you three rings on the doorbell when I get there, but don't open the door to anyone else, understand?"

  "Yes, I understand Alison. It will be nice to see you again. Bye."

  Alison got ready as fast as she could and made her way to Daniel's flat. she didn't know what to bring him, but she quickly stopped at a chemist and asked then for something for a 'sore throat' ...

  Dillon answered the doorbell immediately she rang and she bent down to kiss him before she went into the lounge to see Daniel.

  "Don't speak if it hurts," she said, as soon as she saw Daniel sprawled across the sofa, "but Dillon has explained the difficulty and if there is anything I can do just let me know by hand signals or writing or something," she said, feeling so inadequate in her approach, but she had never experienced anything of this kind before.

  Daniel grinned and cleared his throat.

  "It's nothing serious," he said in a low and guttural tone."It's ... it's my bloody condition again, but I am luckier than most. It doesn't affect me like this very often. It's only when I have an occasional relapse."

  Alison listened carefully and told him not to say anything more until she had made him a drink, adding that she had some cough mixture, hoping it might help. Dillon followed her into the kitchen.

  "You're a good boy Dillon and you know best what daddy needs when he's like this. Can you help me to help him, please."

  Dillon tugged at her skirt.

  "It's Frieda," he said, "She's been round and when she visits daddy, he often gets very angry and his voice goes like the way it is now."

  "Frieda? What was she doing here? I thought she and daddy were finished."

  Dillon tugged a little more at Alison's skirt and she came down to meet him as she knew he wanted to whisper something to her that Daniel couldn't hear. “You are almost as tall as I am big boy,” she said as she straightened up, “No need to get me to come down to hear what you have to say, but I’m down now, so what is it you have to tell me?” Alison’s knees creaked as she stood up to her full height.

  "She wants a lot of money and she won't give daddy any peace unless he gives it to her," he whispered, as he strained to get as near to Alison’s ear as he could. "I get worried when she comes here, Alison. I don't like her at all and I don't think daddy loves her any more."

  Alison made the coffee and took it into the lounge.

  "Daniel ... Dillon has told me that Frieda has been to see you. Is that why you are angry?"

  "Dillon wants to mind his own business," Daniel remarked looking scathingly at his son, but Alison scolded him kindly and put her arms around him.

  "You should be proud of that little boy. He was the one who told me about you on the phone when you were unable to do that yourself."

  Daniel pulled himself gently from Alison's embrace.

  "I knew I shouldn't have phoned you this morning, but I was anxious for Dillon as I wasn't able to do much for him, as you can see."

  Alison felt unhappy about the apparent resistance to her hugging, but she reminded herself that she should have been more careful when Daniel had told her so many times that he didn't want to be attached to anyone.

  "What do you mean, you weren't able to do much for Dillon?" she asked, "If it's only your voice that has gone ... and that only for a little while, I should imagine, there are other things you can do, surely."

  "Now you're getting angry with me," said Daniel, "but you see ... It's not only my voice that has gone for a walk. I can't stand up properly without holding on to something."

  Alison immediately felt ashamed when Daniel described his disposition and she blushed to the roots.

  "I am sorry," she said, "I didn't realize ... Is this something to do with the M.S?"

  "It IS the M.S." said Daniel, but as I have said, I am better than most people who have this complaint. I am only affected in this way from time to time and even then, not very often. Some people are in wheelchairs and worse," he went on, but Alison still remained sorrowful over what she had said and for having been so impatient and so lacking in her understanding..

  "Please let me help in some way," she said, "Let me do SOMETHING to amend for my rudeness," but Daniel waved his hand in the air.

  "I will be O.K. in a few moments. I just have to stay still here for a little while until I get my strength back."

  At this point Dillon interrupted the conversation.

  "Daddy is very lucky that he can still play his violin Alison," he said proudly

  and Daniel looked a little concerned when the little boy said that.

  "I am still able to teach O.K. as most of that is theory, but I am not the player I once was. Not by any matter of means." he said and at this point Alison stood up to her full height of five foot six inches.

  "What I heard from the room where you were teaching Dillon on the morning of his birthday was far from lacking in anything. I thought the sound was beautiful and although you might tell me that it was Dillon who was making those lovely sounds. He could never have done that without a wonderful teacher to show him the way."

  Daniel blushed and ran his fingers through his hair.

  "You inspire me Madam ... and you give me strength," he said as he struggled to rise from the sofa, but as Alison moved forward to assist him to his feet, he didn't push her away.

  "If young Dillon here can get me my violin, I think I could play you a little something," he said to Alison and Dillon ran into the other room to return with his father’s violin and bow. Daniel tottered for a few seconds before he stood upright and placed his violin under his chin, while Dillon stood by with the
bow.

  "I've got it ready for you daddy," he said, "I put rosin on it yesterday."

  Daniel took the bow and began to play. The musical sound that came from his violin was sweet and beautiful to Alison's ear, but she didn't know the name of that piece that Daniel played. Dillon sat tapping his toes, with a look in his eye that was out of this world, so she thought it must be something of great importance and she regretted the fact that she was so ignorant of classical music ... perhaps for the very first time in her life, as she had never ever given the matter much thought at all.

  However, the joy only lasted a few moments before Daniel pulled the instrument from his chin and sat down heavily on the sofa.

  "What's wrong, Daniel," Alison screamed as she saw that Daniel had suddenly lost his usual colour and looked strained.

  "I'm alright," he moaned, "I shouldn't be so careless in playing when I know how much it takes out of me. That was meant to be 'Schindler's list' ... did you recognise it?”

  Alison wrinkled her brow to confess that she didn't recognise the piece that Daniel played, but she was quick to explain her reason.

  "Daniel, I think your playing is wonderful. I could listen to you for hours on end, but I have never ever heard of 'Schindler's list'. I'm not as musical as you are. I love to hear you play, but it doesn't matter to me that I don't know the names of the pieces. Perhaps you could teach me that some day?" she went on, but Daniel did not reply as she hoped he might have done. She wanted him to tell her that she could come to his flat and stay for hours whilst he played and taught her the names of all his pieces, but in her heart, she knew her hopes were high and way above her in the clouds.

  Dillon explained to Alison that his father often had attacks like that, ever since his problem with Frieda and how he hoped, his dad would try to get her out of his life, where he was sure things would improve greatly. Alison felt relieved and anxious at the same time, thinking that perhaps she could, AFTER ALL, do something to help the man whom she now knew she loved above everything and everyone else.

  "Is this the result of your ... your condition?" she asked, trying to avoid any embarrassment about referring to the M.S that she knew Daniel said he had and he nodded after hesitating for a few moments.

  "I am usually O.K. and can't complain." Daniel went on, "Other people I know who have M.S are far worse off than I am and I keep to a strict diet of gluten free produce and I also have injections once a week. Now that, I do hate. I can't sand needles."

  Alison thought of her nursing days when Daniel spoke about his aversion to hypodermic needles which seemed like a lifetime ago. She had been seeing Ken when she was nursing. In fact it was during that time that she met him, but now she wanted to re-think her nursing experience and the memories of Ken. He wasn't important any more, but her experience of injections was becoming suddenly very important.

  "I could do that for you," she exclaimed enthusiastically and Daniel looked up in surprise.

  "Do what exactly?" he asked as Alison raised her eyebrows and smiled.

  "Your injections."

  "My injections? What are you? A doctor?" he enquired.

  "I was a nurse before I became a waitress and I have lots of experience where I used needles for injections. Where do you have it?"

  Daniel laughed.

  "If I told you I had it in my arse, would you believe me?"

  Alison grinned.

  "Yours won't be the first arse I've seen on the end of a needle," she commented dryly as she began to roll up her sleeves, "But for you to inject yourself in your arse, you'd have to be a bloody contortionist, mate."

  "Don't be daft. I was having you on and I'm particular who takes shots at my rear end," he said and she laughed again.

  "Where then?"

  "In my thigh if you must know, but I can manage O.K. It's not the technique that bothers me. It's the bloody needle itself. I hate the things, but when I've downed a bottle of rich red wine, I can manage it better, if a bit off mark."

  Alison looked at him sorrowfully.

  "I'm cheaper than a bottle of wine," she said and looked at him with large eyes.

  "It's a very long and sharp needle," he said, "I would say it’s about two inches long and the pre-filled syringe has to be kept in the fridge."

  Alison stroked her brow as she looked at the ceiling. "Beta Interferon?" she asked and Daniel nearly fell off his chair in surprise.

  "How did you know that?" he asked and again Alison shook her head as if to recall her thoughts.

  "Well ... You have M.S don't you?" she asked, even if she knew the answer to be 'yes'.

  "Yes, I have, but how did you know what injections I would have?"

  "I told you I was a nurse for some time and it was a good guess as to what you would have to have. Actually I have thought about Beta Interferon for some time now, but I didn’t mention it as I thought you might be on it. How often do you have to have these injections?"

  Daniel swallowed hard as if he found it hard to remember.

  "Once a week," he said, "Usually on a Friday evening and I drink the wine before I start. Then I stick the bloody thing in and scream. There's nobody around but Dillon and he is used to me hollerin', aren't you son?"

  Dillon nodded and looked at Alison with admiration of the art that she had obviously conquered.

  "Can you really do that for daddy?" the little boy asked and Alison grinned.

  "And he won't feel a thing, I promise," she added, "And he won't need to drink a bottle of wine either, but I thought you should be at school now, instead of being here to look after your father as you do, eh?" Dillon grinned and turned his face up to Alison's with a cocky expression.

  "I'm on holiday from school," he said, adding that it was the school summer holidays and he would be able to stay with his father for a very long time. With that, Alison threw back her shoulders and Dillon knew she was happy with what he had told her as she went to the fridge to examine the needle and stuff that Daniel would have to inject.

  "Friday, you say," she asked again and Daniel lowered his head.

  "Yea, but it means me sitting around in my drawers as I can't do it with my trousers on. Doesn't that put you off?"

  "The needle or your drawers," she asked, jokingly and Daniel smiled.

  "If you really can do it for me Alison, I would be grateful, but ..."

  "No buts," she added, "and I'll be around about eight tomorrow evening. If you're good, I'll let you make me a cup of coffee."

  Dillon jumped with joy and Daniel resigned himself to what he described as the 'inevitable'

  Chapter Twenty One

  Alison arrived at Daniel's flat at 7.30 the following evening to find that Dillon had the kettle boiling and the coffee grains already in a large drinking mug, covered in gauze.

  "Nice to see you again, Alison and this is how me and daddy make the coffee. We don't have a perco thing.”

  Alison knew what Dillon meant, but she said nothing to embarrass the little boy.

  "That's lovely," she insisted, " but instant would have done. I don't mind in the least. In fact we always use instant in the cafe." At that moment, Daniel appeared from the bedroom.

  "Good evening," he said solemnly. "Are you ready for the persecution?" he asked and Alison smiled as she saw that Daniel had a towel wrapped around his waist.

  "I hope you have your drawers on under that thing," she said with a wide grin on her face. "I wouldn't like to find that I got this needle in the wrong place.

  "The drawers are in place alright, madam. My jab is in the fridge. Let me know when you're ready and I'll disrobe."

  Two minutes later, Alison took the syringe to the kitchen.

  "Nice tartan drawers you've got," she remarked, "but in my world, we call them boxer shorts ... NOT DRAWERS ...”

  "Never mind
that now. Just get on with the needle stuff, will you?"

  Alison stood upright in front of Daniel, who by this time was looking quite ill and had his eyes closed tightly.

  "All done," she said, "but I thought a nurse should have come in to do this for you."

  Daniel looked about him in amazement.

  "Do you mean to say, the injection is over?" he asked and Alison nodded happily. "I never felt a thing, " he said, "You are as brilliant as you say you are and as for a nurse doing this sort of thing, 'yes' I did have a Twilight Nurse for the first few weeks of the injections starting, but then I was encouraged to be able to self-inject but as I've said ..."

  "I know ... I know. You've already told me, you hate the bloody things, but you don't have to worry any more, do you?”

  Daniel looked to the floor before he began to speak.

  "Would you be able to do this every Friday?" he asked and Alison wanted to say that she could do it not only every Friday but any other day or night he wanted. In fact, she would have preferred if Daniel had asked her to move in with him, so that she could be on hand should ever he need anything else, but Daniel said no more as she nodded and assured him that she would be very pleased to help him in any way and at any time, on any day.

  "Now who's for coffee?" she asked, popping her head from the kitchen door.

  Dillon gazed at her with wondering eyes as she moved so lightly through the flat.

  "I wish you could stay here with us all the time," he said, but Daniel scolded him and told him to 'hush', telling his young son, with assured authority, that Alison was too busy in her own life to spend any more time with them and before Alison could contradict that statement, Daniel put his forefinger to his mouth.