Birthright

by Fiona Lowe

  Tears welled and a lone one spilled down her cheek. ‘I have to tell you something that’s going to upset you. I’d planned to tell you the night you told me about Miranda but it didn’t belong there. It doesn’t belong to us at all but it’s part of me and—’

  ‘Jesus, Ellie. Now you’re scaring me. Just say it.’

  She stomped on her rising panic and marshalled her thoughts. It would be okay—they loved each other. When she’d told Sarah, it had wrung her out, leaving her exhausted, and she didn’t want to go there again. This time, she wouldn’t allow the story to control her. If she told him quickly and cleanly she could deny it oxygen. She took a deep breath.

  ‘Okay. When I was fourteen, my mother’s lover sexually abused me in the dining room. That’s why I stopped wearing bright coloured clothes. That’s why I went to boarding school. That’s why I never came back here.’

  His body stiffened so fast it arched away from her. His nostrils flared and his face twisted into a terrifying grimace.

  Gut-wrenching fear gripped her. ‘Luke?’

  Silently, he turned and walked out the back door and into the night.

  * * *

  Sarah was lying on the bed reading to Noah when she heard the thwack and crack of an axe on wood.

  Noah wriggled out of bed and ran to the window. ‘Why is Luke chopping wood?’

  ‘To feed the Aga and keep the kitchen warm.’ Except that wasn’t the reason Luke was wielding an axe in the dark and the drizzle, but she completely understood why he was. She’d never forget the terrifying emotions that had assaulted her when Ellie told her story—that still did when she allowed herself to think about it. And it was obvious just by looking at Luke that he loved and adored her sister. At least chopping wood was a healthy way of working off his anger and devastation. She should suggest it to Gus.

  ‘Come on, mate,’ she said, patting the space beside her. ‘Back to bed so we can finish the story.’

  Two chapters later—Noah had the negotiating skills of a bush lawyer—Sarah made her way downstairs. She was about to walk into the kitchen when she heard great, hulking male sobs and then Ellie’s voice, soothing and calm. Poor Ellie. She’d needed to do the same thing for Sarah when she’d told her, and it was inherently wrong; they should be helping her, not the other way around. It occurred to Sarah that she and Luke should form a support group so Ellie wasn’t unfairly burdened by their responses to her trauma.

  As she sat on the bottom stair waiting until things sounded calmer in the kitchen, she checked her phone. Alex had replied with a thumbs-up emoji to her text telling him Gus was spending the night with her. Gus had split his school suspension time seventy-thirty in her favour and she knew it disappointed Alex. He’d been hoping for fifty-fifty and Sarah had hoped for that too. About the only positive aspect of her leaving Riverbend was that her absence allowed Alex entry to the domestic sphere and she could see he’d benefitted. It was another brutal truth she’d had to swallow.

  But right now they were too worried about Gus to push him on equal time. They accepted his decision, respecting his choice, and hoped that if he was comfortable with the arrangements he would tell them what had precipitated the fight with Mason Raith. So far, he’d given them squat and the mediation date was looming. It was challenging their parenting skills like nothing had before. They’d even given him permission to go to the party Finn threw before he returned to Melbourne in the hope he might tell his brother or his friends something. But all Finn reported back was that Gus hadn’t got drunk and he’d spent the evening surrounded by the usual group of adoring girls. None of it gave Sarah and Alex anything they could pin their hopes on.

  Meanwhile the situation between her and Alex could only be described as strange. Restrained politeness dominated every encounter, although there were a few odd occasions when they were chatting during a Gus pick-up and drop-off where they seemed to momentarily forget they were separated. Forget all the pain and heartache that sat between them like a brick wall. Sarah didn’t know if she treasured the moments or disliked them; either way, they totally bewildered her.

  Since the afternoon at the police station, their hostility and need to hurt each other had retreated—vanished even—and she sensed they were both equally ashamed of their behaviour, especially at how it had impacted on Gus. They’d searched his room together and found no traces of drugs or alcohol and not even a girly magazine, but as Alex had said, with the internet, sticky mags were old school and young men didn’t need them anymore.

  Neither she nor Alex had mentioned their conversation on the mountain or Alex’s bolt-from-the-blue statement about Kelly. But that didn’t mean Sarah had forgotten. She thought about it constantly.

  Holy cow. So much for revenge sex. While she’d been screwing herself silly with Edmund, Alex had never even slept with Kelly. It confounded her—she’d seen the way he’d looked at Kelly and vice versa. He’d admitted his attraction to her, so why hadn’t he acted on it? She couldn’t deny part of her jumped with joy but when she thought about her own behaviour, she wondered if they could ever come back from it.

  As if right on cue, a text arrived from Edmund apologising for not being able to get off the mountain yet again and lamenting the backto-back functions for the ski games. The relief that filled her when she read it humiliated her. It was over a week since she’d seen him, nine days since the uncomfortable moment he’d kissed her in front of Alex, and she didn’t know what she was going to say to him when they were finally face to face. He’d been so kind to her and she didn’t want to hurt him, but she didn’t love him the way he wanted to be loved.

  God, she’d dug herself a hole the size of China.

  The timbre of the conversation drifting from the kitchen changed. Luke’s deep voice sounded steadier and Ellie was laughing, so Sarah pushed herself to her feet. Before she opened the door, she said in a loud voice, ‘I hope you’ve opened that wine.’

  ‘Luke and I were just discussing seeing a counsellor together.’ Ellie handed Sarah a glass and gave her a pointed look. ‘You know, so this old and nasty stuff doesn’t get in the way of all the good stuff.’

  Sarah’s conversations with Alex on the mountain rang in her head and she dropped her gaze, turning her attention to the dip platter. ‘Good for you.’

  Luke’s arm was firmly clamped around Ellie’s waist as though he was worried he might lose her if he let go. ‘We were also talking about doing some interior decorating and Ellie and Noah moving in with me.’

  ‘You were talking about that, not me,’ Ellie said evenly. ‘I love you and Noah adores you, but it’s early days and you’ve only played with him. You need to do more together. You need experience with tired and grumpy Noah, and he needs experience with stern Luke. I don’t want us to rush into anything and spoil it.’

  ‘Surely you agree with me that Ellie’s got to move out of this house?’ Luke appealed to Sarah.

  ‘I’ve already tried. And I can’t believe I’m about to say this, as I generally organise everyone who comes within my sphere, but she’s got a plan and we have to respect it.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Ellie touched her lips with her fingers and blew her a kiss.

  Sarah blinked, suddenly rushed by emotion. ‘You’re welcome.’

  Luke slid the salmon into the oven. ‘Ellie says you only found out about all this recently too. Did it knock you about as much as it’s done me?’

  ‘It gets in your head and it won’t leave,’ Sarah said with feeling. ‘I’ve known Dan Horton all my life. He’s the company lawyer and right now, I’m struggling to look him in the eye.’

  Luke shot her a grateful smile. ‘I don’t know the family that well but I remember Max was friendly with Kathryn. Well, he was until the only relationship that was important to her was the one she had with ice.’

  ‘Her death was such a waste of potential,’ Sarah said, suppressing a shudder. ‘I confess I quote her as the “don’t do drugs” example to my kids, which is probably pointless, as they
didn’t know her. She must have died, what? Ten? Twelve years ago?’

  Ellie sat down hard. ‘I didn’t know Kathryn died of a drug overdose.’

  ‘Yeah. Max was pretty cut up about it.’ Luke sat next to her. ‘He tried to get her some help but there’s not much you can do, is there, when someone’s hell bent on destroying themselves.’

  Ellie looked straight at Sarah. ‘What about Megan?’

  ‘What about Megan?’ Sarah scooped more dip out of a ramekin.

  ‘I mean is Megan okay?’

  Sarah thought for a moment. ‘I’ve got no idea. She left town years ago. I think Dan said she lives somewhere in Far North Queensland, in one of those off-the-grid communities.’ She laughed. ‘I’ve always thought it was funny how Dan and Michael are so boring and straight when their sisters were so—’

  ‘Wild and out of control?’ Ellie reached out and grabbed their hands, her face pale. ‘You know what this probably means, don’t you? That bastard abused his own daughters. It was bad enough he broke my trust but at least he wasn’t my father.’ She shuddered. ‘That must be the worst betrayal of all. I don’t think I could have recovered from that.’

  Sarah squeezed Ellie’s hand. ‘Dad loved and adored us.’

  ‘I know.’ Ellie blinked rapidly. ‘All the places I’ve lived over the years, I’ve always kept that photo of him with me on his lap close. It’s got me through a lot of tough times.’

  Luke opened his arms. ‘You’ve got us now.’

  ‘Yes,’ Sarah said emphatically. ‘You’ve got us now.’

  So many things in Sarah’s life were up in the air and out of her control but right then she knew there was one dilemma she could finally stop wrestling with. When Ellie had needed protection from Robert and Margaret, Sarah hadn’t been there to give it. But she was here now and she’d move heaven and earth to protect her sister. The moment Gus left for school the next morning, she was burning her mother’s letters—destroying the evidence and banishing the secret from her memory. She sent up a message to the universe: I’m taking the secret of Ellie’s paternity to my grave. Don’t you dare let me develop dementia.

  * * *

  Anita pulled up outside the newsagent. She was on her way home after spending the morning cooking at the Farrells’ and she planned to eat her lunch while browsing through the latest fashion and cooking magazines. Len Gioffre always had her order set aside under the counter and teased her that she was his best customer. ‘They’re a business expense,’ she’d always say with a sheepish smile, knowing full well the fashion mags were pure indulgence.

  Her phone beeped with a text: Get a babysitter & wear your LBD. I’ve booked Protea for 7. We’re celebrating! Cam x

  Excitement zipped through her. Had the tribunal’s final ruling for Mill House come through? She checked the date. No, it couldn’t be that. And it wasn’t going to be anything to do with the will because Rupert had told them nothing could be actioned until Margaret died. She assumed Dan Horton had told Sarah the same thing because her sister-in-law had gone very quiet about the wills. Not that they talked any more; Anita couldn’t forgive Sarah for the things she’d said about Cameron.

  Anita had studiously avoided Sarah since the argument in the Mill House kitchen, but two days earlier they’d run into each other in the hospital car park—Sarah departing and Anita arriving to sit with Margaret for ten minutes before driving to a job. Sarah’s face had been strained and tired, but that was hardly surprising; her decision to move out of Riverbend and abandon Gus had come back to bite her. Not to mention the rumour that was flying all over town that she’d been sleeping with Edmund for weeks, a rumour Anita was convinced was fact; she’d seen the way the widower looked at Sarah. As much as she disapproved of Sarah’s affair, it seemed wrong that there weren’t rumours about Alex and Kelly, especially as he’d been the one to set the ball rolling. Poor Gus. His parents had completely lost the plot and their moral compass. No wonder he’d lashed out.

  The news about Gus’s school suspension had reached Anita via Phoebe, who’d phoned her. ‘Mum, there’s something horrible on Facebook about Gus.’

  Anita didn’t really understand how, if Phoebe wasn’t ‘friends’ with the boy Gus hit, she’d been able to see a selfie of him in Urgent Care looking all beaten up. But apparently, he was ‘friends’ with a girl from pony club who was ‘friends’ with Phoebe.

  ‘That’s awful. Do you know what happened?’

  ‘No, but Mason plays footy with Gus. Ami says Gus is a heaps better player than Mason.’ Phoebe, like half the girls in town who had a crush on Gus, hotly defended her cousin.

  ‘Which is unlikely to make Gus hit him. Unless he took Gus’s place in the firsts?’

  ‘As if. Gus is awesome and Mason is, like, not.’

  None of it told Anita anything useful, but a reluctant part of her felt for Sarah, which is why she’d spoken to her briefly at the hospital.

  ‘Sorry to hear about Gus.’

  Sarah nodded briskly but then her brows rose sardonically at the bunch of cheery daffodils in Anita’s hands. ‘Good. This saves me a phone call. I assume Cameron’s got medical power of attorney? Doctor Kafi wants to discuss whether he treats our mother’s pneumonia or just keeps her comfortable.’

  Our mother? Anita caught the unfamiliar edge to Sarah’s voice and wondered what was going on. She remembered Sarah on Mother’s Day, almost three months earlier, busily organising the family and vehemently arguing that Margaret should move somewhere smaller. Medical power of attorney or not, that Sarah would be calling a family meeting, not handballing something this huge.

  ‘Surely that’s a joint decision between the three of you? I can get Cam to set up a—’

  Sarah shook her head. ‘Ellie and I want—think she should be allowed to die. Let Cameron know, okay?’

  ‘Okay.’ Taken aback, Anita had watched Sarah walk away and been left with the feeling that this version of Sarah was diametrically different from the sister-in-law she’d loved. Despite feeling ill-used by her over the Mill House situation, she missed their friendship and easy conversations. The PCM didn’t fill the gap and Tam continued to be cool towards her at the school garden club. So much so that Anita had also skipped the last two yoga classes. The woman’s attitude was really starting to piss her off.

  Wanting to focus on happier things, she re-read Cameron’s text and smiled. A night out at Protea was the perfect way to forget all the irritations caused by thoughtless people who let you down. It was also a time to focus on her sexy husband who adored her in her little black dress. And stockings. A flutter of anticipation twitched deliciously and she pressed her thighs together. New plan! She’d collect her magazines and then pop into the clothing and gift shop that carried a small range of intimate apparel.

  Slipping out of the car, she stepped up onto the pavement and had just reached the top of the ramp at the newsagent’s door when she was forced to step aside to allow Tam to exit. As with Sarah, Anita was determined to be polite and not give in to the temptation to be as rude as the other women.

  ‘Hi, Tam.’

  Wordlessly, the woman pushed past her.

  Anita saw red. ‘Hey! I said hello.’

  Tam swung back, her bangles jangling. ‘And I’m choosing to ignore you.’

  Anita recoiled as if she’d been slapped and then resentment surged. ‘With no good reason! Listen, I’m as sorry as anyone that your friends lost their house, but it isn’t my fault. I don’t know who’s been whispering in your ear about Warrnbatt but I can assure you, everything was done legally and above board.’

  ‘Hah!’ Tam almost spat. ‘Your husband couldn’t lie straight in bed.’

  Anita lifted her chin. ‘That’s slander.’

  ‘No, it’s the truth. Your husband screwed Chris on the selling price. That’s why they lost their house.’ Tam’s usually calm and soft voice broke. ‘And now he’s dead.’

  Despite the winter sunshine, a chill ran over Anita’s skin. ‘What? Dead? How
?’

  ‘He killed himself this morning.’

  Anita’s stomach dropped to her feet. She grabbed Tam’s arm as much to steady herself as to offer her support. ‘Oh my God. I’m so sorry.’

  ‘Yeah, well, sorry isn’t worth a flying fuck. Chris might have pulled the trigger but you and your husband loaded the gun. I hope that house gives you nightmares.’ Tam stepped back and ran.

  Dazed, Anita stood rooted to the spot until old Mr Davidson pulled up in his red scooter, the tall orange flag on the back waving in the breeze.

  ‘Afternoon, Anita.’

  Somehow, she managed to mumble her greetings, get her legs to move and walk back to the car. On the short drive home, she struggled to keep her breathing steady as the tragedy hammered her mind. Dead. Dead. Dead. A family was forever changed. Fatherless children, a bereft and grieving wife; it was all appallingly familiar.

  Pulling into the drive, she was thankful to see Cameron’s car. He was home for lunch and she needed the reassuring press of his arms around her.

  ‘Hey, baby girl!’ He lifted her off the ground, swinging her around. ‘It’s real champagne for us tonight. I just sold a property to a Chinese investor.’

  The love and the security he gave her every day combined with the good news, sliding over her distress and soothing it. When her feet touched the kitchen tiles again, she kissed him.

  ‘Congratulations.’

  He grinned down at her. ‘It gets better. I cleared three hundred K.’

  ‘Th-three hundred thousand?’ The figure spun her mind. It was the largest commission Cam had made to date.

  ‘Do you know what this means, Annie? With Mill House, the education trust fund and now this, we’re swimming in a completely different financial pond. Picture that luxury holiday you pinned to your dream board years ago. We can take it.’

  ‘Oh my God!’ She squealed and kissed him again. ‘I’m so proud of you!’

  ‘I told you coming to Mingunyah was the right decision. What’s for lunch?’

  ‘I’ll heat up some soup.’